Magnificent Unicorn representing authors Spirit.

The Dance of the 

Wounded Souls Trilogy

Book 1 - "In The Beginning . . ."

Part Two "re"

Chapter 3

As I sit here writing the final draft of this book, almost ten years from the evening when my unicorn first appeared, I am deeply touched and very amused.  I am touched and deeply grateful once again for the miracle which occurred that evening.  And I am greatly amused to remember myself as I was then - thinking that I was so enlightened, but with so far yet to travel.  As I remember that scene by the stream, what comes to mind is a quotation from that book of Truth which has been such a vital part of my Spiritual awakening.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy.
 What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."
- Richard Bach,  Illusions

When I use this quote while speaking, I change the words 'the mark of your ignorance' to 'a measure of your Spiritual awakening' to kind of soften the impact. But ignorance it is - and that day in the meadow I was showing my ignorance by revealing how deeply I still believed in injustice and tragedy.  Of course, I could not Truly let go of that ignorance until I had done the grief work to release the emotional energy of pain and rage which was still trapped within me.  I did a lot of releasing that day by the stream and during the course of that magical, mystical tour that my unicorn guided me through that evening.

So there I was pacing and gesturing beside the stream as my unicorn watched me with that silly grin of hers.

"Those false beliefs that have caused humans to believe that God loves us conditionally, and that being human is some kind of a punishment, have caused us to create a reality for ourselves that is based on fear instead of Love."  The anger was seething out of me by this time, and my voice got louder and louder as I spoke.  "The scientific theory of an accidental evolution where the fittest survived doesn't allow room for a Loving God-force, any more than the biblical version of some bearded dude who took a week to zap up Adam and Eve so that he could punish them for being what he made them.  How many people ever stop to ask themselves if it makes any sense to think that God is a male human type who is angry, judgmental, jealous, and vengeful - and that he is going to send the children he created to burn in hell forever if they are like him and get angry or jealous or vengeful?  On what level does that make any sense at all?  And what the kind of god is it that creates people just so they can adore him?  A god with a human ego!  What bull shit!"

I had reached and surpassed my boiling point at this time, and was shouting my questions to the whole universe.

"And these channeled entities and psychics who talk about our spirits being trapped in the lower vibrational levels because we liked sex too much or procreated with animals.  More bull shit!  They aren't any better than the bible.  Even some of the Eastern religions that have so much insight into the Oneness of the interplay of yin and yang, even they treat being human like it's something to be avoided - by sitting on a mountain meditating or something.  Or they twist the concept of reincarnation in order to justify bigotry and oppression.  Only some of the so-called aboriginal religions acknowledge that God has it together enough to have had a purpose for putting us in body - instead of it being some kind of punishment."

I was really ranting and raving by this time.  I could really get worked up about the reversity which has caused humans to suffer so much.  I knew that it is all perfect, and that everything happens for a reason, and all of that - but at that time I still could get pretty angry at God about how painful the experience has been.

"And is this something that you have feelings about?" telepathed my unicorn with a mock serious look on her face.

"I sure as hell do," I shouted.

"Then release the emotional energy, get it out."

I screamed.  At the top of my lungs.  And then it felt as if I was losing control as I continued to scream eight or ten more times.  Primal screams of pain and rage that tore loose from somewhere deep within me and erupted into the mountain air.

And then I was under control again.  I felt myself standing there with my eyes closed and my fists clenched.  When I opened my eyes, after the echo of my screams had faded away, I was looking directly at the deer.  Not only were they still there, but now both fawns and the doe were smiling at me! ....... I was beginning to suspect that these were not your ordinary type of deer.

"Feel better now?"  Asked my Higher Self.

"Yes, much," I replied, smiling at her.  I always feel better when I vent my anger through screaming, and at that moment I was feeling relief from the 'wound too tight' feeling.  At the same time however, I was a little shook up about the intensity of these particular screams.

It had been the guidance of my Higher Self that had led me to understanding that emotions are actual energy that if not released can be trapped in the body.  Along with the distorted beliefs about God, the emotionally repressive environment which those beliefs fostered, produced the human condition as we have inherited it.  Without the free flow of emotional energy, the inner channel gets blocked, and souls in body are cut off from their Spiritual Self.  For unless the lower vibrational emotional energy of anger and pain and fear are owned and released, then the higher emotional vibration of Love, Truth, and Joy cannot be accessed for any appreciable length of time.  That is why the grief process is the most important healing tool available to humans.  When grief is not expressed and the energy is not allowed to flow, then it manifests as disease - physical, mental, and emotional.  And all dis-ease is caused by Spiritual dis-ease - not being at ease, at one, with Spiritual Self.

"You know we are going to be demonstrating the grief process for them in a little while," telepathed my unicorn.

"We are?" I said, immediately feeling some fear energy in my gut.  I mean, let's face it, it was pretty obvious that if there was going to be some grief to feel - I was the only candidate available.  Unless, of course, the deer had some issues to deal with.

"Maybe I should have come as a frog," smiled my unicorn impishly.

Just as everything in the universe happens for a reason, everything my Higher Self communicates to me has a purpose.  What She/He was doing was pointing out that I was being a little dense.  In other words, yes I did realize, on some level, that my screams had touched on a level of grief which I had not yet dealt with, and yes, I was intellectualizing about the grief process as a way of avoiding looking at what had just happened.

"Okay, okay," I said, "so there is another level of grief to deal with, right?"

"You got it bucko," smiled my unicorn.

My growth process has been a little like peeling an onion.  For every layer I have peeled there was another level underneath.  And with every level it has been necessary to shed some tears.

"What's it about this time?" I asked, more than a little testily.  I was tired.  I was not only tired because of the energy that I had expended only a few moments earlier there in the meadow   I was tired of the whole process of peeling the onion.

"More will be revealed in a little while," communicated my smiling unicorn.

"Fuck you," I replied, in a tone in which affection and humor were all mixed together with anger and fear.  Mostly fear.  One thing that is very uncomfortable for humans is to feel out of control.  And allowing emotions to flow, especially at a deep grief level, is a completely out-of-control type of feeling.  No matter that I knew that I would feel wonderful afterwards - it still scared me.

At that moment the deer caught my eye again.  Suddenly there was something important about the two fawns that felt familiar.  It was that tugging at the edge of my consciousness type of feeling.  Somehow these deer were tied in with the level of grief that I had just discovered.

The feeling about the fawns reminded me of my feeling about the meadow, but when I tried to focus on either of them I found that I was just too exhausted.  There must have been something about our journey to this meadow that had depleted my energy reserves because the exhaustion that I was suddenly feeling was overwhelming.  I just did not have any energy available to concentrate my mind at that moment.  So I lay back on the grass and just looked up at the sky.

A large cloud was drifting overhead, and I just relaxed and watched it for a time.  Just when it felt as if I was about to drift off with it, my Higher Self interrupted the lethargy that had come over me.

"It will be necessary for you to take a little nap in a minute," she telepathed, "to recharge yourself.  Interdimensional travel is not normally done in the physical body.  Also, it is very exhausting for a soul in body to allow emotional energy to flow freely - although your circuits are getting stronger.  Before you go to sleep though, why don't you sum up in a few words what we were talking about."

"Okay, slave driver," I said, as I propped myself up on one elbow to look at her.  "The point is, that it is time for us to remember that we are not human beings trapped in some tragic existence as punishment for some original sin.  We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience."

I pulled myself up into a sitting position, and in doing so remembered the original question that I had asked.

"In this story," I continued, "we are presenting people with some mind expanding alternatives to the concepts of God and the Creation which they were taught.  They are 'reasonably accurate' because human comprehension is not large enough to understand the totality of God's Reality.  What is important, is for souls in body to become open to larger concepts so that they can start getting in touch with their own Truth.  This is the Age of Healing and Joy, and it's time to remember that God is LOVE, and that we are all ONE in God - and to start integrating that knowledge into our physical experience.  Our job is to learn and grow and heal - at the same time that we are experiencing being human in the moment.  We are trying to remind people that the Truth that can be felt within is more important than any so-called facts - which is why we are telling a fairy tale and trying to amuse while we do it."

"Exactamundo!" communicated my unicorn with that very silly grin on her face.  I had to laugh.  If you ever get a chance to see a unicorn with a silly grin, believe me, you'll laugh too.  It's a very comical sight.

I laughed at, and with, her - and became aware, once again, of the Love that I felt from, and for, her.  I went to where she was lying by the stream and knelt down beside her.  I put my arms around her neck and, burying my head in her beautiful white mane, I hugged her for all I was worth.

"I Love you," I muttered into her neck.  And then I pulled back a little and gave her a kiss on the nose.

"Thank you," she telepathed. "Even we Higher Selves like to touch when we come into body."

Sitting there with my arm around her neck, and feeling the Love energy flow through me, reminded me that no matter how tired I get of the process - it is all worth it.  To feel the Joy and the Love and the Truth makes all of the moments of fear and pain worthwhile.

I looked around the meadow and then back to the stream, and once again reveled in the peace and beauty of this place.  Then I remembered!  I stood up and turned slowly in a circle looking at the whole meadow to make sure.  The memories came flooding back to me.

"This is my place!" I exclaimed, excitedly turning to my unicorn.  "This is my sanctuary that I imagine in meditation.  I used to come here all the time in my imagination when I needed someplace peaceful."

"Bingo," smiled my unicorn. "It is your place."

"My place," I repeated.  I scanned the meadow and remembered how I had found sanctuary here in the years before I could communicate directly with my Higher Self.  I bent down by the stream and trailed my hand in the water.  Some fish swam up and nibbled on my fingers as I sat there full of wonder at the fact that I was actually here in this place that I had imagined so many times in the past.

"It's so beautiful here, and peaceful.  This is a real place then - not just someplace I visualized in my imagination?"

"All imagination is memory.  Often the specifics of detail are modified to fit your current frame of reference, but it is memory nevertheless," communicated my unicorn.  This was a new and mindboggling concept for me and as I tried it on for size she very casually dropped an even bigger bombshell on me.

"This meadow may exist in a lifetime that you lived thousands of years ago, or it could be a memory of a place in your future." 

"My future!"  I exclaimed.

My Higher Self had done it again.

Go to Trilogy Chapter 4

Journal Issue 1 Home


Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995.  Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2008 by Robert Burney PO Box 235401 Encinitas CA 92023.