August 13, 2006
I have not added anything to the Journal since the
end of 2004 - and don't plan on doing so any time soon. It still
has a lot of wonderful information in it however - as this e-mail from
a subscriber states.
"I subscribed to your newsletter and
lost access to it and am not sure how to access it again. . . . I
have read your book ( many times) and bought your tapes "The Dance of the
Wounded Soul ". I cannot begin to tell you how much you have touched me
in the search for my own understanding of what's within me through
your journal. Your search has become my search through your trials and
triumphs. I have seen myself many various times at the crossroads in your
journey and can relate on many of your rises and downfalls, and triumphs.
To say I wished I had your in-depth foresight is not even near to any perception
I have come to know or will know about God, Life and journey and the souls
search. You have helped to enlightened me through your life testimonies
and insights about the wounded soul. But I've kind of lost touch with you
in your journal because of my trying to get on with my life and understand
how to continue the journey. I find it baffling all this craziness
in the world. I often wonder what its all about still. I try and take the
one day at a time approach but I can't seem to shake the feelings of doom
or gloom. I often wonder how you are doing and hope that you have found
finally your true love and the family and that you've continue on with
your work. Would appreciate if you could tell me how to get back on track
with your updated journal. Better yet wish I could follow up on life and
feel that I could make a difference like you have. Thanks so much for writting
Recent feedback from Journal subscribers
posted March 26, 2004
Recent feedback from Journal subscribers posted
December 9, 2004
"Thank you for sharing in your recent Journal
entry about your using boxes as dresser drawers. I was going to say that
it is precisely that level of honesty that sets this Work apart, but that
statement would not be true. I affirm every aspect of this Work is of a
higher order of spiritual understanding than has ever been available to
humanity before. But it is just this powerful insight into this condition
of codependence that providing this detail reveals. As I was reading this,
if it had been possible for words to crack me open to reveal the core of
shame within that tells me I don't deserve anything better, this passage
would have done it. I looked around this tiny house I have been living
in for the past seven months with all of the boxes I have yet to unpack.
My disease cleverly uses those metaphysical teachings about the outside
being a reflection of one's inside to tell me how little progress I have
made. Yet, I have made incredible progress. My progress is not about having
a life that looks good (or reassuring) to others. It is entirely possible
that on this Path, I may always have the equivalent of an untidy dresser
drawer (or box). Robert, your Work has a way of rendering useless these
weapons my disease would use against me. After reading this passage, I
rose from my computer and did some grief work. Thank you, Robert, for once
again showing me that it is not shameful to be human."
"i caught up on the last batch of newsletters
and journal writing last night. I just wanted to write--i am so proud of
you. really. i totally noticed a difference in your writing by the
time i got to the last journal entry--i felt your writing was lighter.
as if you really had succeeded in shedding some of the weight that was
in between you and receiving LOVE. and as always, the way you are so open
to writing about it is so tender, and brave and honest and inspiring. all
of those things. it was helpful to me. last night, reading your writing.
i am so glad you are opening yourself up to even a greater balance between
your writing and your real wants. and i am So grateful there is still so
much writing in you because it continues to be Real and helpful to souls
like me. I also really liked the bit about "Soulfish", first time i saw
that. . . . . after reading your writing last night, i remembered once
again to trust the flame in my heart, and be patient. i resonated especially
with the part when you wrote you were ready to simply give up on seeing
life as a struggle. amen. my heart is so tired of this weight. and to open
up to receive. continued prosperity and abundance on your love-filled journey."
Recent feedback from Journal subscribers posted
August 30, 2004
I was looking for the
passage in your Journal about--as I recalled it--burning brightly. Despite
a nearly photographic memory (ah, the cosmic irony of bestowing the gift
of eidetic recall on a classic codependent who has always wanted simply
to forget), the necessity of scrolling through the Journal seemed to loom,
and as I did so, I yearned for some enterprising soul to offer to annotate.
However, once again, this afforded me the perfect opportunity to re-read
"Dance 34" and the passage in which you refer to the "fear of shining too
brightly." Once again, thank you for sharing this. I still do not understand
the alchemy which allows an experience so personal to remain unbreached
in its intimacy, yet so universal to be capable of revealing me to
myself. But thank you.
But, the reason for
the bouquet of parentheses involves something else I have not understood
--until today. You have stressed the importance of affirming our Spiritual
identity particularly when it feels least plausible or true. But, just
as I am unable to understand the mathematics behind "string theory" and
must depend on the genius of others for the truth of the existence of many
dimensions, so, Robert, I rely on your spiritual genius for the truth of
our identity as Spiritual beings. My actual words to myself on this subject,
when most in doubt, have been, "Robert burns so brightly. . ." and I feel
like a creature of subterranean depths. I have to take his word for a sun
within myself I never see.
Today is a Very Special
Day. One of my very favourite poems, and one I associate with you now,
is the poem by E. E. Cummings with the line, "I who have died am alive
today" about today being "the birthday of the sun." Well, Robert, today
is the birthday of my awareness of the sun within me. It's hard to stop
crying long enough to write. It is just such a wondrous, holy, sacred present.
Our True Identity. Who it is Who is having this human experience. The Being
of Light and Love. The only words I have for this are "shining brightly."
Simultaneously, I felt like both some quantum explosion and some vast star
going supernova had taken place in my chest. What I could understand was
"You are giving birth to suns. You are pregnant indeed (I heard this bubble
of joy come out of my mouth) and the bringing of this to term is not your
job." Our mission here, our purpose is greater than anything we can imagine.
Everything I had within me would be brought forth. The plan involved great
spans of time and vast reaches of experience. Finally, the depth of my
conviction about my own failure in this lifetime was directly addressed.
The worst act in my life was raised up before me; and what I understood
was: "This is My Plan." It was part of the plan.
So, it's all True. Who
we are and what we are here for. The Light and the Love. The Magnificence.
And, fortunately for the rest of us, you, Robert,
accepted the assignment to teach us how to love and accept ourselves in
this lifetime. Because as my pitiable attempt to communicate a transcendent
experience (that I wouldn't have missed, but wouldn't have hung around
to experience except for you), amply attests, this experience of "shining
brightly" requires a genius to describe. With deepest awe, humility, gratitude,
and joy, I share with you what your courage to shine brightly allowed me
to witness. Happy Birthday to all of the Magnificent Spiritual Beings who
remember Who they are through your words and example. . . . . Robert, a
postscript. The E. E. Cummings poem is entitled "Xaipe," a Greek word meaning
"rejoice." How cool is that?"
Recent feedback from Journal subscribers posted
July 27, 2004
I read your latest journal
entry at breakneck speed. I think you have perfected interactive journal-writing.
I whooped and gasped and cackled and even jumped around the room a few
times! You write without every really breaching the delicate intimacy you
share with her. My whooping and gasping and cackling had more to do with
the sheer reckless honesty you displayed. I do not know of another so-called
"spiritual teacher" who would ever give expression to the feelings you
did, if such expression called into question the efficacy of the the methods
or the truth of the message.
For some time now, I
have been feeling, and expressing the feeling, that if I chanced to meet
the Buddha on the road, or any other avatar, I would apply a baseball bat
to their kneecaps. Just before reading your latest journal entry, I commanded
my HP to appear before me so that I could beat him/her/it to a bloody pulp.
"You come down and live this life and grow old and sick and poor and then
die, all alone, and then you can tell me what a spiritual lesson that was
for you." Somehow, your honesty gave me permission to see that even giving
up this spiritual path as I knew it is still working a path.
I have not the slightest
idea where I am now. Or even who I am. And invoking the identity of the
"Magnificent Spiritual Being full of Light and Love" feels hollow just
for now. I have lost so much. I just want to go home. It is difficult to
see the larger lesson in this or even to recognize the spiritual warrior
learning lessons in the exhausted, emptied-out being I am right now.
But. . .reading your
journal entry, Robert, makes me wonder if many other people are going through
the same intense emotional experiences. If there isn't, perhaps, some major
spiritual transformation taking place on the earth at this time. Either
I am dying or I am being born. A miracle either way, but either way, soooo
painful. With gratitude, out here on the road to wherever this is, whoever
"By the way.......great journal stuff.......whew......brought
back a lot of stuff in my last relationship only throw in drug addiction
for good measure. Not mine of the other guys. Riding the that emotional
roller coaster......I am so glad I chose to get off......I don't think
I would have survived much more of it. Anyway, thanks for sharing I know
how much it took to let go of her."
"WOW life is giving you the greatest and most
difficult experience at the same time. I love hearing you in your writings.
Thanks again for your real life sharing it means so much to have someone
share their honesty and reality as you know it in such a profound way."
"As I read your journal I could see your processing
as the others but only this time you were at a higher level consciousness
and could blast through the barriers more easily.......truly a spectacular
event to watch unfold."
"Although I have not talked to you in
a long time I read your journal and refer to your website often.
I am happy that people came forth to help you out for your last printing.
This is the path that has guided,informed and been so much more to me,
thank you a thousand times."
Recent feedback from Journal subscribers
posted February 29, 2004
"Excellent Journal Article! It is so
very kool to see your processing unfold. It is like watching someone
on a treasure hunt.....and when they find one of the treasures it is so
"We, who read your articles, journal,
etc. all benefit by it so much. What a wonderful way to work your plan
and to help so many others at the same time. I know you do it for your
recovery and growth, but the fact that you are willing to expose so much
of yourself in order to let others see and understand the process that
you have developed over the years is wonderful."
Feedback from Journal subscribers posted
December 14, 2003
"Let me tell you the energy coming off
from that first article is way past the bone. I didn't even get to
the second paragraph and I was heaving deep sobs of grief. Robert
it took me 3 hours to read that article all the while releasing this energy
that was coming from ancient places."
"Wow.......I am exhausted feels
like I went through it myself......It all makes perfect sense. It
is very kool to see the whole process from start to finish....very Amazing!
You can clearly pick out each step, how your codependence
issues came through and how you reacted, how you processed those issues
in a third person perspective, how you went through the grief process,
the acceptance process, and how it brought you to a higher level......there
was a lot more to it but you know what I mean.
You have a lot of information on processing but
to actually see you work the steps...even though as painful as that was/is
this is something that is very valuable....thank you. Here is an ENERGY
HUG .......since I can't give it to you in person."
"Just finished reading your Journal -
WOW. Just because I can relate to your feelings does not mean I like
them. No pain, no gain? Working with my therapist and you and
me on that critical voice. It takes time and effort and will and
it seems to help."
"Until I found your web site, Robert,
my experience with New Age teachings had been purely one of intellectual
assent. I knew these things were true, I desperately wanted to live
these truths within my own life, but, wounded as I was, I was like
the character of Heidi, played by Shirley Temple in a movie, wanting
desperately to go back home, and never having the resources to do it.
Yours were the only teachings and the only methods which allowed me to
rescue that abandoned little girl.
Feedback from Journal subscribers posted
August 3, 2003
So, when I accessed the information about the
Harmonic Concordance, I was struck by how much of the material only resonated
for me on a heart level because of the healing I had experienced as a result
of your teachings. Robert, I have never had any difficulty thinking of
you as a Spiritual Genius, as a Mystic and as a Messenger of Truth. The
unique difference with your Teaching is that is that it is Truth which
I can immediately apply to effect change within my own life. Your
core teaching about healing our relationship with the whole of life, of
Self with self resonated so strongly with me, that even as I read the material
on these web sites about the Ascended Relationship and the Harmonic Concordance,
I thought about the work of recovery establishing the harmonic concordance
with the wounded parts of my self. Robert, you have prepared the ground
for Something enormously significant to happen. . . . . Robert, I honor
myself for the work I have done. I acknowledge that I walk my own perfectly
unfolding path. But, my truth is that your work has prepared us for this
Shift, for this Time of Ascension. This fills me with awe and gratitude."
"I laughed deep belly-laughs at your
"don't try this at home" disclaimer about how raging at God does not always
mean a check is forthcoming. Yes, my little magical thinker was tugging
at my sleeve, so to speak, as I was reading your most recent journal entries.
I drew closer to the screen at your passage about confusing milestones
in your life with destinations. I am approaching one of my own: in a few
days, it will have been one year since I first discovered your web site
and embarked upon the path of recovery work. I have never spent a more
conscious year. Having reached a milestone of sorts, by the calendar, the
outcome I had been lusting for, the destination I had wanted to reach,
was to feel so much better than this feels right now. Right now, I feel
like I am falling apart. And, just at the moment when I feel that I must
be doing this all wrong if I feel so sad, that maybe I should consider
asking for telephone counseling, I start receiving these "flashes" that
"Robert is going away." I thought, "Oh, come on, HP, it's obvious I don't
know how to do this. Don't tell me this is the end." I mean, I am crying
in parking lots when certain songs play on the radio. I am feeling inordinately
huge disappointment when people who have been e-mailing me inexplicably
stop. Recently, an e-mail on a spiritual subject prompted from me the most
heartfelt expression of the pain I feel right now. It felt like all of
the work I had done up to this point had been for naught, like all of the
threads had been ripped away. His response was so gentle and obviously
meant to build my self-esteem. But he only told me that I expressed myself
eloquently, that I had such talent, that I had moved him deeply. . .and
good luck with that spiritual breakthrough I am obviously having!
New Testimonial added March 5, 2003
Really, what was I expecting him to say in an
e-mail to a virtual stranger? The coup-de-Gras came when my mother wouldn't
answer the door when I came to see her.
Tiny, tiny things trigger such supernovas of emotional pain in my universe.
It might look pretty, but something, whole star systems, are dying here,
folks! I cannot continue doing this work,
I thought. I kept running into people who were not doing this work; and,
they appeared to have managed the relationship thing quite nicely. They
still had the friends they had made in grade school. A seventy-year-old
woman told me this wonderful story of nursing her ninety-year-old mother
after her recent stroke and surprising her with pumpkin pie for breakfast.
That one did me in.
And, then, Robert, I opened your latest journal
entries. Once again, your honesty and your willingness to share your process
demystified my process. While reading, it struck me that my pain is coming
from very wounded children within me who are too young to understand. I
might have learned to read at age 3, but I didn't understand human motivation
when I was little. So, all of the intellectual concepts in the world are
not going to heal these wounds. I am going to have to feel them to heal
them. And my Higher Power is perfectly capable of providing me with whatever
I need to continue on this path.
So, I feel the need to say, Thank you, Robert,
and Good-bye. Not in the sense of "I quit, and, I am never visiting this
web site again." More in the sense of honoring what has passed and is now
passing to make way for what is to be. I had the image, initially, of waving
you across the night sky and of the world going dark after you had streaked
out of sight. I thought I might stumble in darkness after that. But, I
haven't spent a year with your web site, your book, your tapes, and your
e-mail's for nothing. I have my own light. Infuriatingly, exasperatingly
so, turning on my light is inextricably bound to feeling my pain. Doesn't
Ralph Blum interpret the rune, Nauthiz, as Pain and Constraint, but also
as the teacher? Can't tell you how many times I have drawn that rune. Now,
I know why. Forgive the length. I respect your boundaries. I just wanted
a little sacred time and space to observe this holy instant of change in
all of our lives. Happy Birthday and Joyous Beginnings."
"Robert--when i read about your recent experience
with romance, the wings of my heart just flew! Wahoo. i am so happy for
you, for this experience how ever fleeting or longlasting it turns out
to be. i especially loved the line about laughter and loving. gosh i wonder
how you got to share that bicoastally. it sounds special. what an abundant
summer for you!
you know, i see in your writing, your coming closer
to openly just expressing the simple desire of living a simple loving life
with a woman. I think its a sign that this is sure to manifest. it seems
such a warm and positive desire. but you're right. more will be revealed.
you are remarkable. i wish the words had flowed
out of me the same way as they have on your latest testimonials:
"Your message has forever changed
my path in this lifetime. Thank you so much for sharing your perceptions
and experiences through your book, and your website. You are a guide
and a healer, I will be forever grateful for having connected and crossed
paths with you and your work."
Its true. i am forever grateful. i'm scared but ready
to learn more. i think its time to come forward more in the light. anyway,
i hope i have expressed some of my gratitude, particularly in my earlier
emails. . . . there was so much in this last journal that....was
a culmination. so much so it almost felt like good bye. you are intensely
special, and transformational. how could a messenger like you not have
a lonely path--in the world we have today."
"Dear Robert: I just spent five hours racing breathlessly
from page to page of your Journal. If this were all that we had of your
work, we would have to create a new genre of writing. While the excerpts
from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls, for me a 126-page 21st century
epic poem of the Journey of the Spiritual Warrior, provide the Cosmic Perspective
and a conceptual framework, theory, if you will, each Dance of the Journal
offers the view from the human side, the practice. The entries read like
the best mysteries, the finest detective stories, the most absorbing Heroic
Myths. In some places, howlingly funny, in others, sacral-chakra-burstingly
erotic, each Dance of the Journal makes the reader laugh and cry in recognition
of both their wounded souls and their Magnificent Spiritual being-ness.
The writer writes for himself, but the reader reads for herself / himself.
The true gift of sharing this personal process with us is that we stop
feeling this is too intimate, too personal. These are unapologetically
human; as we read, we stop feeling we need to apologize for having a human
experience. At the end of many hours of reading, we do not come away feeling
we know the writer too well. The only Self of which we have any knowledge
is our very own. Thank you, Robert."
Page posted February 23, 2003
"To any Spirit who resonates with Robert's wisdom and belief
system it is a Must to order his journal. Robert gives so much revelation
to many of life's mysteries from a human perspective that is understandable
in 3 dimensions. When I first found Robert's website I read four
months straight everything he had. There wasn't anything I found
in his writing that I disagreed with. He opened my eyes to the answers
that I have been begging and pleading for all of my life. Then I
found he had an online journal in which I definitely felt compelled to
order and I must say that it is the best $33.00 I have ever spent.
Anyone with an open mind will surely find this section of his writing fascinating
and truly mystical!!! Thank You Robert for meeting me back in this
"I am a recent subscriber to your journal. I saw the link many times
when I was in your website. My "critical parent" voice was right there
to remind me of all the reasons I should not join. "You don't have the
money (that one was the loudest...DUH!!!) "What possible benefit could
there be to reading about someone else's journey???"..."go to the library
and get a few self-help books"....You get the picture right :-) I
told that voice to hush up and I signed up for your journal. What a blessing,
what a perfect part of my path. As I read; I feel, I laugh, I cry. Thank
you for sharing your journey. I am reminded I am "not alone"."
"Another thing that has helped me a great deal Robert is your Joy2MeU
journal. By reading this and seeing how you apply your process to
common daily experiences it very helpful. There is so much good information
in that Journal. It is truly another great tool for this business.
Thanks so much."
"Thank you for responding so quickly, and setting
up the journal availability. I have to admit, reading your journal
can be hazardous to my sleep time, it is nearing eleven and my alarm goes
off shortly after 5 am. I logged on a little bit after nine"