Check out our new Landing Site for a brief overview of the work of Codependency Recovery Inner Child Healing Pioneer Robert Burney - including links to his articles on websites that are user friendly on mobile devices.
This index page lists, describes, and give quotes from the Joy2MeU pages which are focused directly on alcoholism and 12 step recovery tools.
"Besides the invaluable gift of sobriety that AA has given to millions of Alcoholics, it also started a revolution in Spiritual consciousness.
The dramatic success and expansion of AA facilitated the spread of a radically revolutionary idea which has traditionally, in Western Civilization, been considered heresy. This was not a new idea but rather a reintroduction and clarification of an old idea, coupled with a formula for practical application of the concept into day-to-day human life experience.
This revolutionary idea was that an unconditionally Loving Higher Power exists with whom the individual being can personally communicate. A Higher Power that is so powerful that it has no need to judge the humans it created because this Universal Force is powerful enough to ensure that everything unfolds perfectly from a Cosmic Perspective.This reintroduction of the revolutionary concept of an accessible Loving God has been clarified to specifically include the concept that the individual being can define this Universal Force according to his/her own understanding, and can develop a personal, intimate relationship with this Higher Power.
In other words, no one is needed as an intermediary between you and your creator. No outside agency has the right to impose upon you its definition of God. . . .
The Twelve Step program of AA provides a practical program for accessing Spiritual power in dealing with day-to-day human life. A formula for integrating the Spiritual into the physical. Even though some of the steps, as originally written, contain shaming and abusive wording, the Twelve Step process and the ancient Spiritual principles underlining it are invaluable tools in helping the individual being start down, and stay on, a path aligned with Truth.
It is out of the Twelve Step Recovery movement that our understanding of the dysfunctional nature of civilization has evolved. It is out of the Alcoholic Recovery movement that the term "Codependent" has emerged."
(Text in this color is used for quotes from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney)
to a page of
The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprises
Go to Home Page
Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book
The Dance of Wounded Souls
| In late December
of 2008, as I was working on some of the new sites we are launching
in relationship to Robert Burney Live.com, I decided to make some
changes in this index page for the Alcoholism and Twelve Step Recovery
section of my web site. I am adding an excerpt from an article
that I published in November of 2008 on the Law of Attraction, because
in the first part of that web article I talk about Twelve Step recovery
as I approach my 25th anniversary clean and sober. What follows
is that excerpt.
The Law of Attraction - Misunderstood & Misinterpreted
"On January 3rd of 2009 I will have 25 years in twelve step recovery
- a quarter century clean and sober.
An amazing miracle. I have scheduled one of my
Intensive workshops for that day - because it is the
Saturday after New Years and fits into my practice of scheduling
the workshops on Holiday weekends. When I discovered
that Saturday was the 3rd, I smiled and took it as a perfect
part of the Divine Plan. Perhaps some of you will join me
on that day to celebrate that anniversary.;-)
Unfortunately there is still wide misunderstanding about the 12 step programs - including people who claim it is a cult. I received a hate e-mail last week (October 2008) from someone who said I should be taken out and shot for misleading people - and included a link to a site that claims Alcoholics Anonymous is cult. It is sad that someone has been so wounded in their experience of AA that they would send this kind of profanity laced threat. Unfortunately the way the 12 steps are practiced in AA - and sometimes in other 12 step programs - can manifest in ways that are not aligned with the Spiritual Principles that are the True foundation the 12 step process.
There are also people who don't understand the concepts of powerlessness and surrender - which in the 12 step process are applied in a way that helps people align with Metaphysical Law.
As I state so often in my writing and in my book, in order to change
our relationship with anything, we need to change
our perspective of it.
"Perspective is a key to Recovery. I
had to change and enlarge my perspectives of myself
and my own emotions, of other people, of God and of this
life business. Our perspective of life dictates our
relationship with life. We have a dysfunctional relationship
with life because we were taught to have a dysfunctional perspective
of this life business, dysfunctional definitions of who we
are and why we are here." - Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
The perspective I was taught of God growing up was abusive and punishing. The idea that I could find a concept of a Higher Power that was Loving was incredibly liberating.
I count my conscious codependency recovery as starting on the day
that I realized that my relationship with myself
and life was still being dictated subconsciously by the
image of God as I had been led to understand 'him' in childhood
- even though I had personally discarded that concept consciously
in my late teens. The religion I was subjected to in childhood
taught me that life was about sin and punishment - and I was
a sinner who deserved to be punished. (The Story
of "Joy to You & Me") That day (June 3rd,
1986) was the day that I really got on a gut level something
that I had heard and known intellectually - that the Law that
governs life is cause and effect, not sin and punishment. That
was the day that I made a conscious decision to do whatever it
took to change the subconscious and emotional programming that had
caused me to live life in a really painful, unloving way.
Alcoholism and Codependence - Two Fatal Diseases
The Death of an Alcoholic - An article about a friend of Robert Burney - who was also named Robert. "My friend Robert was one more of the many Alcoholics to die of Codependency."
Questions about Alcoholism - Answers to some questions about alcoholism. "The most Loving thing friends and families can do for an alcoholic is to quit enabling them by rescuing them from consequences."
Grave Emotional and Mental Disorders - An article about "grave emotional and mental disorders" which is AA language for Codependence. "Bill Wilson would have loved to have had the tools we have available to us today. He would have run to an ACA or CoDA meeting because that is where he could have found the roots of the depression which tormented him."
Expectations & Serenity - A column about how it is very difficult to have any serenity if our expectations are not realistic. "By having expectations I was giving power away. In order to become empowered I had to own that I had choices about how I viewed life, about my expectations."
Gratitude - A column about how gratitude is one of the most important tools in the recovery process. "Ninety-eight per cent of the time when I am in fear it means that I am in the future. Pulling myself back into the now, turning the future over to my Higher Power, and focusing on gratitude, frees me to have some happy moments today."
The Miracle of The Twelve Step Process:
The Miracle of The Twelve Step Process - The twelve steps are a formula for finding some Spiritual integration and emotional balance in life. "I am profoundly, deeply, everlastingly grateful for the gift of the 12 steps. The process of learning to apply the Spiritual Principles in my life has changed my life from an unendurable hell to an adventure that is exciting and enJoyable most of the time."
The first three steps -1, 2, 3, and a 1, 2, 3 - the Recovery 3 Step. "When I first came to the program I would not even use the word God - and thought that these people must be a bunch of religious fanatics."
4 thru 9 "The Clean Up Steps." - Step 4 inventory. - Step 4 is where we start getting honest with our self and taking responsibility for our side of the street. "I hate the term "defects of character." There could be no better term to describe toxic shame. That is what I felt most of my life - that I was somehow defective, that something was wrong with who I am."
4 thru 9 "The Clean Up Steps." - These are the "house cleaning" steps, where we can start seeing the past more clearly so that we can identify our patterns, uncover our denial, and learn how to take responsibility for our lives. "The old adage "that you are as sick as your secrets" has a great deal of Truth in it. The reason it is so important to bring our secrets to the Light is because they are hurting us."
10 thru 12 - The Maintenance Steps Part 1 - These three steps are vital in working an ongoing spiritual program, an active and successful recovery program. "It is very common when applying the tenth step in our life to make an amends for our part in an incident at the same time we set a boundary with another person in regard to their part."
A series of articles on applying the Serenity Prayer in one's life can be found in the Spiritual Belief section. For the history of how the concept of codependence grew out of the alcoholism recovery movement see the Codependence page The evolution of of the term Codependence. There is also a series of articles about my quest for a Higher Power of My Own Understanding that starts with A Higher Power of my own understanding.
August 25, 2003, I have added two articles originally published on Suite101 to this site:
To Parents of Alcoholics / Addicts - An article written in answer to an email from a parent who wanted to know if she caused her son's drug addiction. "Parents do not cause their children to become alcoholics - or drug addicts. Alcoholism / addiction is not caused by environmental factors. It is a physiological, genetic allergy - a hereditary predisposition involving brain chemistry."
Enabling & Rescuing vs Tough Love - A follow up article to the one to parents of alcoholics / addicts, explaining enabling and tough love. "A person who is acting out self destructively has no reason to change if they do not ever suffer major consequences for their behavior. If they are rescued from consequences, they are enabled to continue practicing their addiction."