"Of course, one of the reasons that
I have the honor and privilege of carrying this Joyous message in this lifetime
is because of my Karmic debts from other lifetimes.
Possibly one of the reasons that you are
reading this is because I, personally, owe you a Karmic debt. Maybe I gouged
out your eyes when I was a Roman legionnaire or a Viking or something, and
now I am repaying that debt by helping you to see more clearly in this lifetime.
We will probably never know for sure and
we probably do not have any need to know for sure. Past life information
is available to us only on a need-to-know basis. In other words, only if
it is directly connected to our healing process in this lifetime. Simple
curiosity is not a good enough reason to allow us to access accurate past
life information. (Of course we have our curiosity for a reason too.)
Everything happens for a reason - actually
for reasons on multiple levels. We can never know all of the reasons. We
have no need to know all of the reasons.
What we need to do is to remember that it
is all perfect somehow, some way. We need to remember that to help us stop
judging ourselves and the process.
As in the quote from Illusions, it is the
depth of our belief in tragedy and injustice that is a measure of our Spiritual
growth. "The depth of our belief" has to do with our perspective, with how
much we are buying into the reversed attitudes and false beliefs, with how
much power we are giving the illusions.
What I have found is that in many instances
even though the levels that I can see, that I am conscious of, are mostly
dysfunctionalarising out of the false beliefs and fears of the disease of
Codependence - on deeper levels there are "right on" reasons for behaviors
for which I was judging myself.
. . . As another, more universal example,
when I started to learn about Codependence, I used to really beat myself
up because I found that I was still looking for "her," even though I had
learned about some of the dysfunctional levels of that longing.
I had learned that as long as I thought
that I needed someone else to make me happy and whole I was setting myself
up to be a victim. I had learned that I was not a frog who needed a princess
to kiss me in order to turn into a prince - that I am a prince already, and
just need to learn to accept that state of Grace, that princeness.
I had come to understand that those levels
of my longing were dysfunctional and Codependent - and I judged and shamed
myself because I could not let go of the longing for "her."
But as my awakening progressed I realized
that there were "right on" reasons for that longing, for that "endless aching
need" that I felt.
One of those "right on" levels was that
the longing was a message concerning my very real need to attain some balance
between the masculine and feminine energy within me - which begets dysfunctional
behavior when it is projected, focused, outward as I had been taught to do
And on a much deeper level I came to understand
that I am - and have been, ever since polarization - looking for my twin
As I become discerning I could learn to
pick the baby out of the bathwater, that is, not judge and shame myself for
longing for "her" - and throw out the dirty bath water, that is, not take
action based on, or give power to, the dysfunctional belief that I am a frog
who cannot be happy until I find my princess.
By learning discernment we can begin to
become conscious of the reasons that are dysfunctional and based on Codependent
beliefs and fears (the dirty bathwater) so that we can change the way we
react to those levels, can stop giving them power, and we can honor that there
are "right on" levels by not shaming or judging ourselves (the baby) even
if we are not sure what those reasons are.
I am talking about FAITH here.
The more we remember that everything is
unfolding perfectly, the more we can have faith that there is a very good
reason for even what appears to be the greatest tragedy, the most profound
We need to accept and honor - that is, not
shame and judge ourselves for - not only our feelings and our past behaviors,
our human needs and desires, but also our longings, our resistance, and our
We have those longings for a reason. We
have those fears and that resistance for a reason. The more we start remembering
that "the Force is with us," the easier it becomes to accept and Love ourselves.
As was stated earlier, maybe the reason
you have not done your grief work is that it has not been time yet - everything
happens perfectly. Even our procrastination, and our denial, and our avoidance
is a perfect part of our path.
We are being guided!
The more we remember that, the easier it
is to stop buying into the grandiose, ego-self, arrogant, Codependent, power
trip of believing that we have the incredible power to screw up the Great
Spirit's Plan. We do not. We never did.
One of the reasons on a very deep level,
at a soul/higher ego level, that we have resistance to doing our healing
and owning our power is because of our past life experiences.
We have all been punished for owning our
power in the past! Whether that was by being burned at the stake for being
a healer, or drawn and quartered for being a teacher, or hanged for being
a messenger, or whatever.
So we have very good reasons for not trusting
God or this life business!
We also have very good reasons for not trusting
ourselves because we have all abused the power in the past. We have had lifetimes
when we were teachers who led our students astray, when we were healers or
leaders or messengers who took the left-hand path and served the forces of
darkness instead of Light.
We have very good reasons for being terrified
of owning our power again!
Those are the reasons on the deepest level
why we have resistance to the healing process; that is why some of us have
needed the stick to get us to start awakening.
No matter what our personal stick is, whether
it is Alcoholism or love addiction or overeating or whatever, it is the vehicle
which has forced us to start awakening. It is the blessed gift that has started
our awakening to consciousness of our path.
The conditions on the planet have changed!
As long as the planet's energy field of Collective Human Emotional Consciousness
was reversed, the process of growing towards the Light attracted the dark.
That is not going to happen this time. The
planet's energy field of consciousness is now positively aligned with Truth.
Growing towards the Light now attracts more Light.
In this age, we can own who we Truly are
without feeling as if we are going to be punished for it.
Of course we never really were being punished
- it just felt like it.
What we have been doing here in human body
for all of these lifetimes is receiving the opportunity to experience every
facet of the human experience. We have all been creators and destroyers.
We have all been the oppressor and the oppressed. We have all been the perpetrator
and the victim.
No one has ever done anything to us that
we have not done to her/him in some way, at some time.
It is time to stop blaming others. It is
time to stop blaming ourselves. We chose the paths we are on in order to
do the healing and Karmic settlement that was necessary. We need to own and
honor and release the feelings at the same time that we need to stop buying
into the false beliefs."
"Doing that grieving is overwhelming terrifying and painful. It
is also the gateway to Spiritual Awakening. It leads to empowerment, freedom,
and inner peace. Releasing that grief energy allows us to start being able
to be emotionally honest in the moment in an age-appropriate way. It is,
in my understanding, the path that the Old Souls who are doing their healing
in this Age of Healing and Joy need to travel to get clearer about their
path and accomplish their mission in this lifetime."
(Column "Further Journeys to the Emotional
Frontier Within" by Robert Burney)