Hello you Magnificent Spiritual Being you - welcome to my news page,
Well, on June 7th my trip begins. I will be making my regular trip to Santa Barbara to see clients there on Wednesday - and also to celebrate my 14th CoDA Birthday at the noon CoDA meeting at Unity Church of Santa Barbara. My birthday was actually on the 3rd. I calculate my conscious codependence recovery as starting on June 3, 1986 - as I relate in The Story of "Joy to You & Me" in the first issue of my Joy2MeU Journal.
That evening, after finishing with my last client at about 9:00 pm, I will head to the Palm Springs area to find a motel room for the night. At 9:00 am the next morning I have an interview for a therapist's position in the family program of the Betty Ford Treatment Center in Rancho Mirage. I am scared that I will get the job - and scared that I will not. I know that however it works out will be perfect, but this heading full speed into the unknown can be frightening. More Will Be Revealed about what is going to come from that.
I am hoping that I will be able to post news on this page as my trip continues. That depends however on the compatibility of the computers I have access to in being able to edit and upload this page to the net. So, more will be revealed about that also. If I can, I will keep this page posted with the newest developments - if not, I will post it when I return to California on July 1st.
I wrote the above on June 4th, and then didn't post it because my plans got derailed before the trip even started. On Tuesday the 6th, as I was getting organized and packed for the trip, I needed my wallet for something. I couldn't find it. I knew I had had it in the house the night before - and now it had seemingly disappeared. I got increasingly frustrated as I looked - but at the same time I was observing myself and saying. "Well, this is an interesting development."
It has just been so incredibly valuable for me to develop a level of consciousness from which I am observing myself. This is really the essential technique that allows me to have internal boundaries so that I can own my power to make choices instead of setting myself up to create a very negative emotional space by buying into the belief that I am the victim. Through having a detached observer within me, I can have a boundary between the emotional and the mental - between my feelings and my thoughts. There are often going to be times in life when I feel like a victim. The child within me, who was taught that life was about right and wrong - and if I was wrong I would be punished - reacts to life events not unfolding as I want, by feeling like I am being punished, like I am a bad boy. The core place within me where I feel unworthy and unlovable, the inner child who was taught that if I did life right I would be rewarded by living happily ever after, reacts to life events and other people's behavior out of the feeling that I am shamefully defective somehow. It is reaction to the intense pain of feeling shameful and defective that I developed my codependent defense system of either blaming others or blaming myself and trying to kill the pain and shame with substances - it is the fear of that pain and shame that causes me to try to control life and other people.
The level of consciousness on which I am detached observer, is the adult who is on a Spiritual Path - the Spiritual being who is in recovery from the illusion of existence as a flawed human, the lie that I am a sinful and shameful creature who deserves to be punished by God. While the wounded human part of me, the inner children who are so terrified of screwing up, were getting scared and frantic - the adult on a Spiritual Path who knows that life is full of opportunities for growth rather than mistakes to be punished was saying, "Isn't this an interesting development." That more mature and enlightened level of consciousness knows that everything is unfolding perfectly according to the Loving plan of an all powerful Great Spirit.
So, even as I was searching for the wallet, and trying to figure out where it could possibly haven't gotten to, I was telling myself that this was a perfect part of the plan. I was taking note of the fact that this would change my travel plans pretty drastically. I was assessing what action I would need to take if I didn't find the wallet. I knew that at some point I would need to simply accept that it was lost and take action to alter my plans. I realized that this could mean that I was not supposed to drive my car. I was aware that this could mean that something was going to go wrong with my car. The question that came to mind then was, if I wasn't going to drive my car, if I had to fly and then rent a car, how was I going to do that without a picture ID since I would need to get a temporary drivers license. The answer my recovering adult gave to the scared parts of me, is "More will be revealed." I told myself that I did not need to know yet how it was going to work out.
As I looked, I kept reminding myself to relax and take deep breaths. I kept telling myself that everything was going to be OK - that a perfect plan was unfolding. Empowerment is about seeing reality as it is and making the best of it by owning my choices instead of buying into the belief that I am being victimized - that I am being punished. By being in the detached observer, I can own the feelings of the wounded inner child and tell him that he hasn't done anything wrong, that it is not his fault. I can set boundaries with the angry inner child who wants to blame - who since I have been in recovery long enough to have pretty much stopped blaming other people, tends to want to blame God. That angry, rebellious part of me gets upset at how the plan is unfolding and wants to move me into a place of self pity - the place where I feel sorry for myself because this human experience can be very difficult sometimes. (A victim perspective that is very different from doing grief work about how hard life has been.)
In relationship to the serenity prayer, the things that I have some power and control over are my own attitudes and behaviors - and to a certain extent my feelings. The way I can have some control over my feelings is to first of all align myself with feeling and releasing them instead of denying and repressing them, and secondly to change my relationship with them by changing my perspective of what is happening. My relationship with anything is determined by my perspectives and expectations - and my perspectives and expectations are set up by my attitudes, beliefs, and definitions. By altering my attitude in relationship to what is happening I can change how I am feeling about what is happening.
It is however, very important for me to own the feelings. If I try to force a change in attitude by denying or judging the feelings - then I am not honoring my emotional reality, then I am discounting and invalidating the feelings of my inner children just as they were squashed in childhood. Many people use positive affirmations and Spiritual Truth without ever owning the feelings - which can just be repression in the name of enlightenment. The positive affirmations and Spiritual Truth my adult is telling the wounded parts of me, are tools to try to maintain some balance, to shift my perspective - not forms of repression.
Having internal boundaries helps me to make a paradigm shift in my relationship to what is happening in the now. I can nurture and Love my inner child by not buying into blaming myself. I can set boundaries with my inner child by not buying into the self pity. I can empower myself to make the best of the situation by looking at reality as it is and assessing what choices I have available that will allow me to make the best of the situation - instead of feeling sorry for myself because life is not unfolding the way I want it to.
It was a little after 11:00 am when I discovered the wallet was missing. By about 1:00 pm I reached the point where I knew that it was time to accept reality as it was and start taking action to take care of myself. I called the credit card company to cancel the credit card that I was going to use to pay for the most of the trip. I found out that it would take two days to get a new one Fed Exed to me. That meant I needed to change my job interview. So I called and changed it to Friday afternoon. I then went to the bank to cancel my ATM card and get a new one, and to the DMV to get a temporary drivers license.
I still did not know how the plan for the trip was going to work out, so I just needed to let go of knowing. I knew that I needed to go to Santa Barbara on Wednesday to see clients. It is a drive of about 120 miles to Santa Barbara. My original plan had me leaving from there on Wednesday evening to go on to Palm Springs - and from there to cross the Mojave Desert on my way to Arizona. In the circumstances as they had developed I would need to drive a few hundred extra miles - going to Santa Barbara, then back to Morro Bay, and then back through Santa Barbara on my way East.
Tuesday evening at about 10:30 pm I found the wallet. The desk chair in my room has a single support curving out from under the seat that rises up to the back rest. Somehow the wallet had gotten wedged on that narrow support, under the seat. It was a place that it would have been hard to place the wallet and have it stay there - let alone having it get there by accident. The room I am living in is about 12 by 12 - pretty small. It was completely baffling to me that I had not been able to find the wallet. One of the only possibilities for the disappearance that I could come up with - besides someone coming into the house in the middle of the night and taking it - was that it had somehow gotten thrown out with the trash that had been picked up early that morning. I remembered taking it out in the living room to pay for some delivered food. And here it was in the middle of the room that I had been frantically searching earlier. Pretty silly - and obviously a perfect part of the plan.
Now I had my drivers license, so that opened up the possibility that I could fly and rent a car instead of driving my car with 204,000 miles on it. The next morning I spent quite a bit of time looking at different options for the trip. I found out how incredibly expensive it was to fly when you had to buy your ticket only a day or two in advance, rather than some weeks. Because of the time I spent doing research, I had to alter my plans for the time I was going to Santa Barbara, and wasn't able to go down in time for the CoDA meeting where I was going to celebrate my birthday. I was celebrating my birthday in a weird kind of way, by being able to use the tools I had learned to make life easier. I was accepting, letting go, taking action. I was not buying into being a victim of myself or the Universal plan. I did of course have some feelings in the course of the day. I released some of those on my 35 mile drive to the DMV by screaming in my car. Screaming in my car - or into a pillow or some such thing - is a very effective way for me to release emotional energy that is building up.
That evening, at a little after 9 pm when I finished my last appointment, I headed out of Santa Barbara to return North. Had I been heading East as I had planned, I would have been heading down the freeway into and through the San Fernando and San Gabriel Valleys - through LA - to Palm Springs. Because I was leaving to the North, the first leg of the journey in driving out of town is up a climb of probably over a 1000 feet in elevation. About halfway up that climb, my car started acting up quite badly. To make a long story short, I had blown a head gasket in the car because of a problem with the radiator. Had I been heading East, I might have driven quite a ways before the problem showed up. As it was, I was in Santa Barbara where I have a mechanic that I trust completely.
As I have talked about in previous newsletters (Joy to You & Me Update 10-25-98) I have for some years now been able to respond to events such as car trouble (or last summer before my trip, a broken toe) from an attitude of gratitude. After the initial, visceral, shot of fear, I choose to look at the half of the glass that is full - and I felt very grateful that the car had broken down where it had instead of in the bowels of LA or in the desert. I turned around and made my way back down the mountain and to a motel. The next morning I called a tow truck and had the car towed to my mechanic. I then rented a car to go back to Morro Bay, because I had to be there to get the new credit card. Fortunately I was able to rent the car on my temporary ATM card.
On Thursday, after some more research, I choose to take Amtrak to Albuquerque, and to reserve tickets so that I could fly back from there at the end of the trip. I made reservations at the best rate I could find for a rental car (which I subsequently lost when the train was late and had to rent a car at much higher rates.) I got to Albuquerque, picked up my son, and left on my trip to Nebraska.
I am not going to talk about that trip here. I will share some things about it in my journal in the Joy2MeU Journal. I will just say, that my annual trip with my son is quite an emotionally draining experience. It is both happy and joyful, and sad and painful for a number of reasons. I am also not going to share here about the job interview. I will just say that it went very well, and the outcome was that both sides decided that it wasn't a good fit. It was actually quite a relief for me, because it was not something that I really wanted to do.
One of the messages I had gotten consistently in the days before the trip, when I was considering the possibility of moving to someplace I didn't really want to live, was a line from a song that kept coming to mind. It was a line from a song by the Eagles - a group in whose songs I have found words of insight and inspiration over the years. This particular few words that kept coming up for me were "pick a place to make your stand . . and take it easy." I was real clear that the place I picked years ago to make my stand was right here on the Central Coast of California. The town of Cambria specifically, but absent of the financial means to live there, someplace in this area.
So, I came back to California, financially depleted and in a pretty emotionally vulnerable place. It was a great relief to return. I felt as if I had returned to reality from a trip to The Twilight Zone. Going back to the little town where I grew up is a very strange experience for me. There is almost no one back there that has any real understanding of me or my path. That life back there, is a life that I am very far removed from in many ways.
I came back to California ready to make my stand. I had plans to schedule some workshops, do some advertising, and generally to generate the income that I needed in a variety of ways. I also had in my plans the intention to try to create the opportunity to move back to Cambria as soon as possible. The place I have been living, Morro Bay, is a very nice place on the ocean. It is a beach town, and I would sure rather be here then almost anywhere else. The reason that Cambria is so special to me however, is because it feels like a mountain town right on the ocean. I had discovered Cambria while driving up the coast looking for a place that the mountains and ocean come together - and had recognized it as the place I was looking for, as soon as I drove into it the first time.
It is a small town, about 5,000, that stays small because of the water shortage in the area. It was originally called Cambria Pines because of all the trees. The trees are special to me, as is the ocean. It is a hard town to make a living however. It is also a hard place to find affordable housing. Probably half of the homes in town are second and third homes for people who live elsewhere. (I will add some links at the bottom of the links page to a couple of web sites about the area for anyone who is interested.)
My great relief, at returning to what feels like reality to me, was short lived. The first night I was home in the evening, I learned that my roommate had decided he really loved living alone - and could afford to do that now - so he gave me 30 days notice to move.
The perfect Universal plan had just thrown me another curve ball. Perhaps this meant that I would get to move back to Cambria earlier than I thought. But there was a small difficulty in that I did not have, nor see where I could get, the money to do that. Moving of course, involves (in most instances) coming up with not only the first months rent but often the last and a security deposit. As I write this, I still have no idea what is going to happen. I have confidence that the Universe has a perfect plan in place which will provide me with the money I need, and with someplace to live and have my computer hooked up to give me internet access. More will be revealed about how this turns out. I do not need to know today what is going to happen in the coming weeks.
The upshot was that this new development felt kind of like the straw that broke the camels back. In the already emotionally vulnerable place I was in, it threw me into a kind of emotional shock. The tools of recovery work real well for me in helping me to have a relationship with life that allows me to be able to enjoy being alive for most of the moments of most of the days. Which is a long way to come from the person who wanted to die most every day of my life. (Union Within - healing the inner child)
There are times however, when life events feel emotionally battering. When the experience of life feels abusive. When if feels as if my Higher Power is being sadistic and anything but Loving. The tools still work at times like that - but they work in terms of giving me the patience to know that this too shall pass. They work to help me be gentle and kind to myself at times when I am very uncomfortable emotionally. If I try to force myself out of an emotionally uncomfortable place, then I am being judgmental and abusive to myself. I need to be able to accept wherever I am at - no matter how uncomfortable.
In those times, I need to allow myself to do whatever it takes to make it through the day without abusing and shaming myself. I think I read about 6 ot 7 books in 10 days - not recovery or Spiritual books but thrillers and mysteries - because that is one way that I can go unconscious to the feelings for a little while that is not self abusive. Finding out that I had to move without knowing how I could afford that, generated a lot of fear for me. It also brought up grief from the past, for the many other times I have been in a similar position of feeling like my Higher Power was abandoning me. That fear and pain can be overwhelming at times.
In those times when life feels emotionally battering, it can be very hard to stay out of a victim place. It very much feels like I am the victim - either of an unavailable and unloving Higher Power, or of my own shameful, defective being. I could not do the writing that I wanted to do because I need to be in a certain kind of creative energy space when I am writing. That wasn't possible with the amount of fear my disease was generating. What I could do was some web page design. That is why I did the book store page - it was something I could do without being in a centered energy space. I could not schedule workshops and do the other things I was going to do to take my stand because I couldn't be sure where I was going to be living.
By allowing myself to go through the process:to do some grief and anger work when I could;- I emerged from that space into one of being more creatively and positively centered again. The outside conditions - that is, the unknown factors about the future in terms of finances and lodging - have not changed, but my attitude towards them, and therefore my relationship with what is happening in my life has shifted. I forced myself to be patient with myself. I forced myself to do positive affirmations. I worked on not giving power to judgment about what was happening, and did not try to force my feelings to change - but rather worked on changing my relationship with them.
to take positive actions to nurture myself, and plant seeds that could possibly meet my future needs, when that was possible;
to not try to force myself into a different emotional space just because I was judging that there was something wrong with the one I was in;
to keep working on being patient with myself and my process while affirming the positive and my faith in the future;
I was not in that negative emotional space because I was doing something wrong, or because something is defective about who I am. I went through that experience - am going through this experience - because it was a perfect part of the Universal plan in some way. I went through it so I could learn and grow. Probably, part of the reason I went through it was so I could write about it and therefore perhaps give some of you who read this a little more permission to be human - and a little more patience with yourself and this recovery process.
I have now shifted into a space that I call a writing frenzy - when a lot of ideas are coming, a lot of new facets of concepts are being revealed and understood in some new light. I can't find enough time to do the writing that is wanting to pour out of me. I am being stimulated by most everything I see or hear.
One of the perfect things that came into my path to stimulate me earlier this week was a quote that I saw in a post to a mailing list I am on. This was the quote:
What is not love is fear.
Anger is one of fear's most potent faces.
And it does exactly what fear wants it to do.
It keeps us from receiving love at exactly
the moment when we need it most.
-- Marianne Williamson
This is an emotional trigger for me. It really makes me angry. And it was, of course, perfect since right at that time I was writing my article about finding emotional balance through inner child healing - the article that was focused on "through the fear." The message that there is only love and fear, is one that I have seen in quite a few places - from various authors, belief systems, Spiritual teachers. It is a message that in my opinion is not only inaccurate, but is also abusive and shaming.
I will talk first about why it is an emotional trigger for me, and then why I think it is inaccurate.
It is an emotional trigger for me because I interpret statements like this one to be saying that fear - and anger - are negative things that one should not experience if one is evolved enough. That one who is enlightened should be in love all the time and not experience these negative emotions. It feels to me like what is being said is that if I am experiencing fear I am doing something wrong - that I haven't gotten "there" yet.
The reason that I have an emotional trigger around this kind of statement, that I give it power, is because I am judging myself on some level. My disease is still in there giving me the message that something is wrong with me, that I am defective, that I am not doing it "right." Other people's judgments have no power over me unless there is a level within me where I am judging myself. And I believe that as long as I am in this body, on this plane, in this lifetime, that old programming will not go away completely. It does not have anywhere near the power it used to possess. Where is used to be a big monster screaming at me, now it is like a cricket in the corner chirping at me. But even a little cricket chirping can get real annoying at times.
Because I teach best what I need most to learn, and I am trying to learn how to Love myself - I am sensitive about messages like this, because I know how much power they can carry. As a codependent, I know how long and hard I have had to work to learn to honor my own Truth and my own feelings, instead of giving power to "experts." I have also learned on my path, how many of the so called experts were giving out shaming, judgmental messages because of their own wounds. I have empathy and compassion for them, but I also hold them responsible for the messages they convey. (Which are of course perfect for wherever they are on their own path.)
In working with codependents trying to overcome the power of the shame, I have often said, "You can't tell a shame based codependent enough that it was not their fault - that they were powerless to change until it was time to change." When people who are healers reinforce the judgment and shame of the disease through making black and white statements like the one above, I get angry because I have used such statements in the past to beat myself up. Until I learned how to have internal boundaries, and trust my own Truth, I took in statements from experts (whether they were authors or people with more recovery than I had or anyone that I saw as knowing more than defective me) and allowed it to fuel and feed my disease in shaming and judging and beating myself up. I am constantly needing to tell clients that such messages are not necessarily the Truth.
And of course, I have been going through a time of great fear, so I took the quote as a personal assault on me. At a time when I have been recently struggling to be Loving to myself, this type of message is not one that reinforces the belief that I am Lovable and worthy. To give out shame bearing black and white messages in the name of teaching love, is to me, just as destructive as a parent shaming a child to try to control them. Our society teaches us to be shaming, manipulative, and controlling in the name of love and I find it just as screwed up and dysfunctional as fighting war in the name of God.
Now, to get into why I believe such statements are inaccurate. I am going to be responding out of my personal Spiritual Belief System, out of my own understanding of Metaphysical Truth.
On the Highest level, the Absolute Truth - the only True Reality of the God-Force, Goddess Energy, Great Spirit, what I call in my Trilogy, The Holy Mother Source Energy - is the ONENESS of the energy of ALL THAT IS vibrating at the frequency of Absolute Harmony, which is LOVE. At that level, there is only LOVE. We are all part of that ONENESS, of that LOVE.
The reality in which we are experiencing being separate, individual entities called human beings in a linear three-dimensional time/space reality is an illusion, a dream, a figment of the Great Spirit's imagination. It is a holographic illusion caused by the illusion that energy can exist separate from The Universal Source. Within this Illusion, there exist many other illusions - death, suffering, fear, anger, polarity, scarcity and lack, etc. There are many levels to that Illusion.
It is very difficult to communicate about multiple levels of reality in polarized, three-dimensional language. In my writing I try to differentiate by using LOVE to refer to the vibrational frequency of The Goddess, Love to refer to the Transcendent (transcendent through multiple levels within the Illusion) vibrational frequency which we humans can tune into, and love to identify the manifestation that occurs on the human level of experience.
In my understanding, we cannot experience LOVE as long as we are experiencing being separate individual entities - because in LOVE we are part of ALL, of the ONENESS. We can experience Love when our internal channel is clear enough - or in some cases, we can experience something very close to that Transcendent emotion through temporary artificial means. The goal in healing and recovery is to align ourselves with Truth to a degree that allows us to tune into Love as much of the time as is possible in a natural way. It is not possible to be tuned into that Love all of the time. In the times we are not tuned into Love, there will be times when we feel fear.
The Absolute Truth of God is Love, Joy, and Abundance. It can be said that Love is all there is. It could be said that fear and anger are a result of not being in tune with Love. But to say that, is to deny that while in human body, it is not possible to be tuned into Love in every moment of the day. The most enlightened person on the planet will experience a moment of visceral, instinctive fear when a plane they are riding in takes a sudden plunge or a car swerves in front of them or some such thing. That fear of the unknown, that survival supporting programming, is something that is inherent in being human. The more enlightened someone is, the sooner they let go of that fear and move back into an enlightened state of being - but they still feel it.
That kind of fear is not bad or wrong or the result of not being evolved enough. What is dysfunctional are layers of fear that are a result of the trauma and programming of the disease. As I said in the article about fear, most of the levels of fear we experience are dysfunctional and silly. I believe that people who say that there is only fear and love, are talking about those dysfunctional levels of fear. But to make a statement in black and white terms that convey the message that fear is negative - is in my opinion, not only inaccurate but also shaming.
It is also directly related to the reality that not only does traditional science, medicine, and psychology discount emotions - treat them as a chemical reaction or an extension of thought, but many of the so called New Age teachers do the same. Emotions are, on one level, chemical reactions - just as on another level, our emotional reactions are very much influenced by our mental attitudes. But emotions are also energy that exists in a very real way on the etheric plane in the emotional body. To discount the level in which emotions are energy is very dysfunctional in my belief. To discount the emotional energy that was generated in our childhood, and still exists in our being, is to discount our own experiences and being - to say nothing of being very dangerous to our physical and mental health.
It is very attractive for people to believe that they can evolve spiritually without doing their grief work. Emotions are messy, especially the old repressed ones that can feel so overwhelming. It is natural and normal for human beings to want to do things the easier, softer way. So, many people want to hear someone tell them that it is possible to become enlightened without healing emotionally. Many of those so called experts will even teach that if one is feeling the emotions then one are doing something wrong.
I believe that such teachings are inaccurate. I believe that our emotions are an important and vital part of our being that needs to be own and honored. I believe that fear is a teacher that helps us move toward Love, that helps us to learn how to love ourselves. I do not believe that, in and of itself, it is wrong or bad or the opposite of love. Our relationship with it can cause it to be very dysfunctional - which is why we need to own it so we can change our relationship with it. The reality of being human is that this experience is really scary sometime. I am saying that is OK - that it is not shameful or unevolved to feel fear.
This is getting way too long here, so I am just going to mention quickly some of the other messages that I find disturbing - especially coming from people who are supposed to be teachers.
Free Will - free will is an illusion that exists within certain levels of the illusion. On the highest level, we are all part of the ONENESS and nothing any of us do can change that - because ONENESS is the highest Truth. On Lower levels we have free will to a certain extent. All of our actions on the physical plane however are governed by the Law of Karma - so that free will exists within the context of Karmic settlement.
Choosing your parents - this is another one that is governed by Karma. We did not have the choice of any parents in the world to be born to - we had to choose from some choices that were aligned with settling the Karma we need to settle.
Abundance - as long as we are in the Karmic realm, let me address abundance. Some of us came into this lifetime with issues to heal around money and financial abundance. Other people had already done their healing around abundance issues - or will do it in some future life. People that have a very easy time manifesting financial abundance are not better than, or more evolved than, people who have struggled financially in this lifetime. It is just about having different types of paths - it is not something that rich people are justified in judging other people for (or vice versa), or that anyone needs to feel ashamed of because it means you are doing something wrong.
Now, all of us have childhood experiences that are reflections of the Karmic debts we need to settle. That means, that things in childhood wounded us around the issues we are here to work on and heal. So, like any other issues, abundance is an area that many people need to work on - to remove the dysfunctional, self sabotaging programming that comes from our childhood. As long as we are working on uncovering our wounds and healing them, we are doing our part in the process. It is important to learn to accept and Love ourselves no matter where we are in regard to any issue, and not give any issue (such as not having money) the power to affect our sense of self worth - or set us up to think that we are doing something wrong if we have not reached "there" yet. We may never get "there" in this lifetime - it is important not to buy into being the victim ourselves in relationship to any issue.
Being Creators of our life - this is one that I run into in Metaphysical New Thought Churches sometimes, as well as in other New Age type association. The law of mind action which states that what we focus on is what we create - is True. The problem is that isn't the whole Truth. There are other factors involved - including Karma. We are co-creators in our life - not the sole creator.
It is also, one of the black and white statements that are sometimes made that can convey shaming messages if not qualified. Telling someone they are creating their own reality without also telling them that they were programmed to come from fear and negativity - and that they were powerless over that programming until they learned they can change it - can cause codependents to feel ashamed. It is a Truth but not the whole Truth.
Polarity - polarization of the energy field of Collective Human Intellectual Consciousness - the Lower Mind - is what set up the dysfunction in human existence. It is what empowered the illusion of separation. Polarity is not only part of the problem, it was causal in creating the problem - the human dilemma. To empower polarity, by making black and white statements is to me, a sign that someone is not looking at the human experience from a large enough paradigm. As wonderful a person as I am sure Marianne Williamson is - and she is a wonderful teacher who has brought enlightenment and a new perspective on Love to many, many people - I deduce from statements like the one above, that she still has some black and white judgments going on in her relationship with herself. That is not bad or wrong - just human.
Statements such as hers above, give the message that fear and anger are negative and shameful. I very much disagree. The dysfunction in our relationships with ourselves have resulted in fear and anger being manifested in some really awful ways - but that does not impart negative value to the emotions themselves. Our planet was stuck in a negative paradigm, one that was reversed to the Truth of Love, for thousands of years. The whole human race was the victim of planetary conditions that caused humans to react to this human experience from a place of fear and survival, from a paradigm that empowered belief in lack, scarcity, and negativity. It was the human condition - not something that any individual human being should judge them self for.
This is a New Age, as I explain in my books. The energy field of Collective Human Emotional Consciousness has reversed to a place in alignment with Love instead of opposing it. That is why there is a Transformational Healing Movement happening on this planet. We are learning to Love - and that needs to start with Loving our self enough to stop shaming and judging our self for being wounded humans. It is really helpful if the people who are at the forefront of the movement are not giving out shaming, judgmental messages.
But, of course, everything is unfolding perfectly. And the reason I react to such things is because of my own emotional wounds that I am working on healing. Marianne is perfectly where she is supposed to be, just as I am - just as we all are. There are just a lot of times when it doesn't feel like it. In my belief, we are Spiritual Beings who are extensions of the God-Force, Great Spirit, Goddess Energy - having a human experience that is a form of boarding school. We are all going to get to go Home. We are all in Truth Home already on some level of our being. We are waking up and remembering that. It is a Joyous and exciting time to be alive.
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