"For a small minority of us, a true holiday of love. A time to celebrate the love we are feeling for a significant other in our life. A time to be grateful for the gift of romance, and to honor the partner who is enriching our life.On this page is the seventh in a series of articles by Spiritual teacher/codependency therapist focused on healthy romantic relationship behavior.
For a significant number of us - who are alone in a relationship - a time to pretend, or blame. . . . .For another significant portion of us - who are alone - a painful reminder, usually accompanied by self judgment and shame, bitterness and cynicism."
"It is very sad. It is very sad that we have had our hearts broken. It is very sad that we have let go of getting our needs met. It is very sad that it is so hard to connect with another being in a healthy, Loving way. It is very sad that so many of us have had to shut down our hearts and lock the romantic part of us away in a deep dark place within us."
"Make this Valentine's Day a True celebration of Love by choosing to Love and have compassion for your wounded self (own the emotional pain) at the same time you are allowing your Spiritual Self to nurture (tell your self Spiritual Truth) and protect you (tell the critical parent voice to shut up.)"
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The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprises
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Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book
The Dance of Wounded Souls
|This series of articles was originally
published online on the Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page that Robert
used to edit for Suite101.com Directory. Some of the articles in this
series are expanded and updated versions of columns published previously.
Healthy Relationships - Part 7, Valentine's Day 2000
"I needed to learn how to set boundaries within, both emotionally and mentally by integrating Spiritual Truth into my process. Because "I feel feel like a failure" does not mean that is the Truth. The Spiritual Truth is that "failure" is an opportunity for growth. I can set a boundary with my emotions by not buying into the illusion that what I am feeling is who I am. I can set a boundary intellectually by telling that part of my mind that is judging and shaming me to shut up, because that is my disease lying to me. I can feel and release the emotional pain energy at the same time I am telling myself the Truth by not buying into the shame and judgment."
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The original version of this column appeared in the Information Press of San Luis Obispo California in 1996 - and appears on my web site as Romantic Relationships and Valentine's Day. Parts of that column were used in Part 6 of this series so that this one is now a completely rewritten version. This article was published on February 8, 2000 on the Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page that I used to edit for Suite101.com Directory.