"If I were just relying on my experience, I would say "love is shaming and abusive and controlling," "love is being responsible for other people's feelings and well being," etc. - and that would be the Truth about love with a small l. When I say Love is not shaming, I am talking about the True Nature of Love as I intuitively understand it."On this page is a part 2 in a series of articles by codependency therapist/Spiritual teacher about The True Nature of Love.
"(LOVE is the vibrational frequency of God; Love is an energy vibration within The Illusion which we can access; love is, in our Codependent culture, most often an addiction or an excuse for dysfunctional behavior.) "
"I Knew deep inside, from a very young age, that this was not my home. I Knew that Love, if it was really such a wonderful thing, should not be so painful - just as I Knew it was ridiculous for both sides in a war to think that God was on their side and would help them kill the enemy.
I could feel that Love must be something much greater than I had learned growing up. If Love is so wonderful, if Love is the answer - then Love should set us Free."
"Freedom from shame. Freedom from judgment. Freedom from loneliness. Freedom from feeling separate, different, not a part of, not acceptable. Freedom from the endless, aching longing for something more. Freedom from the hole in my soul - from the bottomless abyss of pain and shame and sadness that I feel at the core of my being."
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Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book
The Dance of Wounded Souls
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The True Nature of Love - part 2, Love as Freedom
"The Universal Creative Force, as I understand it, is the energy field of ALL THAT IS vibrating at the frequency of Absolute Harmony. That vibrational frequency I call LOVE. (LOVE is the vibrational frequency of God; Love is an energy vibration within The Illusion which we can access; love is, in our Codependent culture, most often an addiction or an excuse for dysfunctional behavior.)
What is Love? That is the question. I have been quite balled up the last week in attempting to write this column. No, that is not quite true - I have been unable to get into a space to even attempt to write this column. I need to get into a certain space - need to be feeling a special kind of creative energy - to write about a topic such as this. It was much easier to write last month's column about "what Love is not." Then I was writing about something much more concrete, much more black and white (the irony of this - since one of the characteristics of the disease is black and white thinking - is fodder for a completely different column.) The dynamics of the disease and the wounding process are very clear in my eyes. I have experienced the type of love that is shaming, abusive, manipulative, smothering, intrusive, addictive, etc., my whole life.
I could feel that Love must be something much greater than I had learned growing up. If Love is so wonderful, if Love is the answer - then Love should set us Free. That is what is coming up as I write this column - Love that is Freedom. Love that is Joy. Love that is the only Truth that has ever mattered.
Love that is Freedom - what does that mean? To me it means the Freedom to be OK with being me. The Freedom to relax and enJoy the moment. The Freedom to be - just be, without having to strive, to work for, to try to reach, to prove myself, to earn Love, to get "there."
It means: Freedom from shame. Freedom from judgment. Freedom from loneliness. Freedom from feeling separate, different, not a part of, not acceptable. Freedom from the endless, aching longing for something more. Freedom from the hole in my soul - from the bottomless abyss of pain and shame and sadness that I feel at the core of my being.
This place is not my home. When I yearn for Love, I am longing to go home.
"I was 'transported with Joy', and my 'spirit was soaring', as I danced on the rock. And in my dancing and singing I Truly understood what those expressions meant. For in being 'transported' and 'soaring' I was merely tuning into the vibrational frequency that is Joy and Love and Truth. I could see clearly now how human beings throughout history had been trying to tune into Love. The primal urge that has caused humans to attempt to 'alter their consciousness', through drugs or religion or food or meditation or whatever, is no more than an attempt to raise one's vibrational frequency. All any soul in body has ever done is to try to return home to God - we were just doing it all backwards because of the reversity of the planets energy field."
The Dance of The Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1 "In The Beginning . . . " (Chapter 4)
Humans have always been looking for a way home. For a way to connect with our Higher Consciousness. For a way to reconnect with our creator. Throughout human history, human beings have used temporary artificial means to raise their vibrational level, to try to reconnect with Higher Consciousness.
Drugs and alcohol, meditation and exercise, sex and religion, starvation and overeating, the self-torture of the flagellant or the deprivation of the hermit - all are attempts to connect with higher consciousness. Attempts to reconnect with Spiritual Self. Attempts to go home.
Part of the reason that I have had trouble in writing this column is because of the intellectual context I was approaching it from. I was thinking that I had to know what I was talking about, had to be able to communicate to you the Truth about Love. That was pretty silly of me.* Love is what I am learning about. Love is what recovery and healing are all about. Love is the goal. Love is home.
*[Actually, it was my disease at work - causing me to judge and shame myself for not feeling competent to write about the True Nature of Love. This disease of codependence is so incredibly insidious, treacherous, and powerful. It continually turns back in on itself. The disease doesn't want me to take the risk of Loving and trusting my self and then it turns around and causes me to judge myself because I don't Love my self. I don't Love myself because of the disease - the ego programming that is a result of being wounded and traumatized by being Spiritually orphaned in an alien environment. By being born into and raised in an emotionally dishonest and dysfunctional, Spiritually hostile, shame based, Love mutilated (mutilate - 1. To deprive of a limb or essential part. 2. To damage or injure by the removal of an important part.) civilization on a planet where civilized societies have evolved based on the belief in separation and fear-based hostility - separation between beings, separation between humans and their environment, and separation between the flesh and the Spirit. The civilization I was raised in is so sick and twisted that it took the teachings of the Master Teacher who came into body to teach us about Love and twisted those teachings into something shameful and hate-filled. Jesus Christ carried a message of Love - not shame and judgment.]"Due to the planetary conditions, the human ego developed a belief in separation - which is what made violence possible and caused the human condition as we inherited it. The reflection of that human condition on the individual level is the disease of Codependence. Codependence is caused by the ego being traumatized and programed in early childhood so that our relationship with ourselves and the God-Force is dysfunctional - that is, it does not work to help us access the Truth of ONENESS and Love. It is through healing our relationship with ourselves that we open our inner channel and start tuning into the Truth."Now what I thought last month was going to be one column about the True Nature of Love has turned into at least a 4 part series. In dealing with the shame I was feeling about not knowing enough about Love to write about it's True Nature, I have in fact been processing through that shame to get to a place where I can be free to write about the type of Love that can set me Free. So, I will save "Love as a vibrational frequency" and "Love and romance" for future columns.
Jesus & Christ Consciousness
I have only a little experience with feeling Love that sets me Free - and that has come primarily since I have been in recovery. In those moments when I am able to connect with Love in it's True form, then I feel that all of the pain and suffering has been worth the experience. Then I get a taste of what home really feels like. Then I get to feel the Joy and Truth and Love that Truly does set me Free from the illusion of separation. In those moments, I can sometimes even feel grateful for that illusion. Because without the illusion of separation from The Source Energy, from Love - I would never have gotten the opportunity to experience Love.
I am going to end this column with a continuation of the quote from my book "The Dance of Wounded Souls" which I started it with. This quote is from the very end of my book. This is my intuitive Truth. This is an important part of the understanding which has led to the beginning of my liberation from the shame. This Truth has helped me to start Loving myself a little bit - to start Loving myself enough to be Free to start believing that maybe, just maybe I am Lovable and Loved.
"The Peace and Bliss of The Eternal Now is the True Absolute Reality of the God-Force.
The illusion of separation - the distance, the separation, between the peak and the valley - is what makes motion possible. Separation is necessary for energy to be in motion. The illusion of separation was necessary to create The Illusion.
As part of the ONENESS of ALL THAT IS, we are God and God is LOVE. We are part of the Truth of ONENESS vibrating at LOVE. As part of the ONENESS of LOVE we would never have been able to experience Love. It is kind of like, "If you are sugar then you never get to taste sugar."
In God we are LOVE. Without the illusion of separation we would never have had the opportunity to experience Love. Would never have been able to Love and be Loved.
Separation was necessary to allow us the incredible gift of experiencing Love, of Loving and being Loved.
The Illusion that caused all of the pain is also the vehicle for allowing us to feel and be Loved.
If you pursue your path of healing, I think that you will find as I have that it is very much worth it. It is worth it to be able to experience Love.
This is the Age of Healing and Joy. It is time to start remembering who you Truly are, to start feeling and tuning into the Truth which exists within you.
We are all butterflies.
We are all swans.
We are Spiritual Beings.
The Springtime of the Spirit has arrived: It is possible to learn to Love yourself.
It is possible to be happy, Joyous, and free - if you are willing to be scared and hurt, angry and sad.
You are Lovable.
You are Loved.
You are LOVE."
September 2005 - Articles 3 through 6 of this series are now exclusively available in the Dancing in Light pay to view component of Joy2MeU.com
The Dance of The Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1 "In The Beginning . . . " is currently being published in installments in the Joy2MeU Journal. It is possible to read the first two sections (6 chapters) of it in the premier issue of the Joy2MeU Journal The Dance of The Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1.