Check out our new Landing Site for a brief overview of the work of Codependency Recovery Inner Child Healing Pioneer Robert Burney - including links to his articles on websites that are user friendly on mobile devices.
"We must start recognizing our powerlessness over this disease of Codependence. As long as we did not know we had a choice we did not have one. If we never knew how to say "no," then we never really said "yes.""On this page are quotes from writings of codependence counselor/Spiritual Teacher about how internal boundaries can lead to freedom, serenity, and empowerment.
"I needed to learn how to set boundaries within, both emotionally and mentally by integrating Spiritual Truth into my process. Because "I feel feel like a failure" does not mean that is the Truth. The Spiritual Truth is that "failure" is an opportunity for growth.”
"This is what enlightenment and consciousness raising are all about! Owning our power to be a co-creator of our lives by changing our relationship with ourselves. We can change the way we think. We need to detach from our wounded self in order to allow our Spiritual Self to guide us."
"As long as we are judging and shaming ourselves we are feeding back into the disease, we are feeding the dragon within that is eating the life out of us. Codependence is a disease that feeds on itself - it is self-perpetuating."
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The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprise
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Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book
The Dance of Wounded Souls.
|Included are quotes from Codependence:
The Dance of Wounded Souls.
Loving internal boundaries can allow us to achieve some integration and balance in our relationships and our life experience.
"I needed to learn how to set boundaries within, both emotionally and mentally by integrating Spiritual Truth into my process. Because "I feel feel like a failure" does not mean that is the Truth. The Spiritual Truth is that "failure" is an opportunity for growth. I can set a boundary with my emotions by not buying into the illusion that what I am feeling is who I am. I can set a boundary intellectually by telling that part of my mind that is judging and shaming me to shut up, because that is my disease lying to me. I can feel and release the emotional pain energy at the same time I am telling myself the Truth by not buying into the shame and judgment."
We can consciously start viewing ourselves from the "witness" perspective.
We all do this anyway but we learned to watch our selves from a place of judgment and shame. It is time to fire the judge - our critical parent - and choose to replace that judge with our Higher Self - who is a Loving parent.
We can then intervene in our own process to help us be more Loving to self.
"We need to take the shame and judgment out of the process on a personal level. It is vitally important to stop listening and giving power to that critical place within us that tells us that we are bad and wrong and shameful.
Owning our power to be a co-creator of our lives by changing our relationship with ourselves.
We can change the way we think.
We need to detach from our wounded self in order to allow our Spiritual Self to guide us.
We are Unconditionally Loved.
The Spirit does not speak to us from judgment and shame.
We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience.
We need to work on integrating Spiritual Truth into our relationship with the mental and emotional levels of our being so that we can achieve some balance with, and between, all the levels of our being.
The Twelve Steps are a formula for integrating the Spiritual into the Physical. The Ancient Spiritual Principles (and the tools they provide) which underline the Twelve Step Process work because they are aligned with the Universal Laws of Energy Interaction.
Through admitting powerlessness out of ego-self we gain access to the unlimited power that is available to us out of our Spiritual Self.
"We must start recognizing our powerlessness over this disease of Codependence. As long as we did not know we had a choice we did not have one. If we never knew how to say "no," then we never really said "yes."
When we are feeling something "negative" and buying into the negative messages is when we go into the downward spiral - when we crash and burn.
(Emotions are not negative or positive, it is our reaction to them that gives them value - ie, sadness is very positive when we are grieving, if our perspective is aligned with Truth.)
"If I am feeling like a "failure" and giving power to the "critical parent" voice within that is telling me that I am a failure - then I can get stuck in a very painful place where I am shaming myself for being me. In this dynamic I am being the victim of myself and also being my own perpetrator - and the next step is to rescue myself by using one of the old tools to go unconscious (food, alcohol, sex, etc.) Thus the disease has me running around in a squirrel cage of suffering and shame, a dance of pain, blame, and self-abuse.
Because our parents weren't capable of Loving themselves or of emotional honesty - we felt like there was something wrong with us.
We felt responsible for the deprivation or abuse or abandonment that we experienced.
"The hardest thing for any of us to do is to have compassion for ourselves. As children we felt responsible for the things that happened to us. We blamed ourselves for the things that were done to us and for the deprivations we suffered. There is nothing more powerful in this transformational process than being able to go back to that child who still exists within us and say, "It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just a little kid.""We need to have internal Boundaries with and between the emotional and mental components of our being so that we can:
- feel our feelings without being the victim of them or victimizing others with them;Boundaries:
- with the disease/critical parent voice so that we can stop giving power to the judgment and shame on a personal level & stop letting our own mind be our worst enemy;Boundaries which:
- allow us call on the Power Within any time, any place, that we need it;
"It was vitally important for me to learn how to have internal boundaries so that I could lovingly parent (which, of course, includes setting boundaries for) my inner children, tell the critical parent/disease voice to shut up, and start accessing the emotional energy of Truth, Beauty, Joy, Light, and Love. It was by learning internal boundaries that I could begin to achieve some integration and balance in my life, and transform my experience of life into an adventure that is enjoyable and exciting most of the time."
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