"The purpose of doing the codependence recovery / inner child healing work is to improve the quality of our life experience. We can learn to own the power to be conscious co-creators of our lives by becoming aware of how to accept the things we cannot change - and change the things we can. We have the power to change the quality of our relationship with our self and with life by doing this work."
***"There is nothing wrong for example, in wanting a romantic relationship - of wishing for one that will be a Loving and nurturing partnership / friendship that will last for the rest of our lives. What is dysfunctional is allowing the fact that we don't have a relationship today to dictate and define how we feel today. If I focus on my issues about being deprived of companionship, affection, romance, etc., in this lifetime, I can make myself miserable today. I don't deny having those issues, but I also do not focus on them. If I am focusing on the part of my glass that is empty, I co-create my experience today out of feelings of deprivation and victimization. That is not enjoyable. That is not balanced." ***"And if we are basing our feelings of worth on our looks or talents or intelligence - if we are buying into the codependent illusion that we are better than others because of these external manifestation - we are taking credit for gifts. Our inherent capabilities and features as a human being are something we are born with. To believe that you are unworthy as a being because you are overweight - and born into a culture where being overweight is considered "bad" rather than a culture that sees it as a sign of prosperity and status - is to be a victim of your genetic make up and/or your emotional wounding.
Some people are overweight because of genetics. Most people are overweight because they learned to cope with their emotional wounds using food. In many cases, people are overweight as a means of defending themselves because of a history of heartbreak and/or sexual abuse. Often it is our fear of intimacy that is at the core of weight problems."
***"We truly need to learn to "go with the flow" - by letting go, by surrendering the illusion that we are in control of life, by accepting reality as it is, by learning emotional honesty so our emotional energy can flow - in order to transform life into an adventure that we have the ability to enjoy some of the time instead of a dreadfully painful and terrifying struggle we are enduring."
to a page of
The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprises
Go to Home Page
Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book
The Dance of Wounded Souls
Attack on America - A Call for Higher Consciousness
. . . . . In that chapter I am going to return to the Cosmic perspective that I feel is appropriate for ending this book. This chapter - and a regular web page which I am writing and publishing in tandem with this one - are going to focus once again on the individual process.
Codependence Recovery / Inner Child Healing / Spiritual Integration & emotional balance
. . . . . As I said, the goal of healing is not to become perfect, it is not to "get healed." Healing is a process, not a destination - we are not going to arrive at a place in this lifetime where we are completely healed.
The goal here is to make life an easier and more enjoyable experience while we are healing. The goal is to LIVE. To be able to feel happy, Joyous, and free in the moment, the majority of the time.
The purpose of doing the codependence recovery / inner child healing work is to improve the quality of our life experience. We can learn to own the power to be conscious co-creators of our lives by becoming aware of how to accept the things we cannot change - and change the things we can. We have the power to change the quality of our relationship with our self and with life by doing this work.
The single most important step in this healing work is detachment. It is developing a detached level of consciousness - and observer / witness perspective - that allows us to start practicing discernment in relationship to both our inner and outer process. This facilitates the process of learning how to have internal boundaries so that we can start having the wisdom and clarity to integrate a Loving Spiritual belief system and intellectual knowledge of healthy behavior into our emotional relationship with life. Then we are able to start achieving some emotional balance, and start owning our power to be a positive conscious co-creator of our life experience - a Loving, mature, empowered force in our own lives, instead of unconscious co-creator out of the negative, self abusive, self sabotaging, reactions that are caused by the codependent behavior patterns adapted in childhood.
The web page that I am publishing as a regular
web article in tandem with this Chapter, is going to be focused on the
importance of detachment in the inner child healing work - and to any growth
or consciousness raising. You can access it at Co-Creation:
Owning your Power to Manifest Love. (Link at bottom of page also.)
This page is no longer available on the regular web site. To view this page, it is now necessary to pay a fee for access to the Dancing in Light section of Joy2MeU.com On this page are quotes from, and section headings of, the original article. The page with information on how to subscribe is Dancing in Light.
Codependent Linear / Destination Thinking
Published on the Joy2MeU web site on January 1, 2002. At the time this page is being posted Chapter 11 is not quite finished. It will be posted within the next 12 hours.
Chapters 2 through 11
of Attack on America - A Spiritual Healing
Perspective are now only available in
the pay to view Dancing
in Light component of Joy2MeU.com - or in the Joy2MeU
Discernment in relationship to emotional honesty and responsibility 1Joy2MeU Update -10-20-2000Joy to You & Me pages