"Americans have a right to be proud of their country - and not only the right, but the duty to defend it.

What I feel sad and scared about, is that I am seeing way too much of the "Love it or leave it" kind of patriotism out there right now.  The kind of us vs them mentality that is all too common in human history - that is a dynamic in every war that has ever been fought in the history of mankind.  This kind of polarized reaction dehumanizes and demonizes "them" with a sweeping generality that includes many people innocent of any involvement - that spawns attacks on mosques and innocent Arab-Americans.  On a practical level this is very dysfunctional because it can polarize those who are included in the generality into siding with "them."  On a Spiritual level it is the kind of dehumanization that is necessary for any racism, hatred, prejudice and capacity to commit violent acts - and seeing others as less than human debases and wounds both us and them."

*** "Just as in an intimate relationship when we feel attacked, we go on the defensive to prove how wrong the other person is.  Our ego programming is to hold onto our black and white thinking in order to avoid feeling the toxic shame.  If we do not have enough recovery to be able to simultaneously have boundaries to protect ourselves from being abused, and listen to the feedback as possibly containing some nuggets of Truth that we need to hear - we will go into the codependent shame place of blaming ourselves or cranking up our big guns to blast the other person.  Codependent relationships often turn into a power struggle about who's right and who's wrong." *** "The United States of America has a long history of supporting right-wing Fascist dictatorships that slaughter, impoverish, and starve their own citizens.  Muslims did not just arbitrarily decide to designate the US as the enemy.  It is their experience they are reacting to - their wounding and emotional trauma.  The US set itself up to be seen as the enemy because we supported the governments that were oppressing them." *** "The actions of these terrorists was monstrous and horrifying.  But it was not some isolated incident that came out of nowhere, it was not just the product of the very sick and twisted mind of Osama bin Laden.

Codependent behavior is a set up to be victimized.  When we blame another without owning our responsibility in setting ourselves up, we are being dishonest.  Recovery involves being honest enough to own our part in whatever happened without buying into toxic shame by blaming ourselves.  It also involves holding the other party responsible for their part, without buying into the lie that is self righteous indignation - "look what they did to poor innocent me."

The United States of America has some responsibility in setting this dynamic in motion.  Innocent people were killed but the United States as a country is not totally innocent.  Denying that dooms us to keep repeating our patterns."

Welcome to a page of Joy2MeU The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprises Go to Home Page      Site index page Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book Codependence:  The Dance of Wounded Souls

Attack on America - A Call for Higher Consciousness by Robert Burney The United States of America There is nothing wrong with feeling proud to be an American.  The United States is a great country.  It is a great place to live. The United States is also the most important country in the history of the world in relationship to the Spiritual Growth Process and the New Age that has dawned in human consciousness - in my belief.  It was a fertile spawning ground for the freedom to break out of old paradigms and increase access to Spiritual Truth.  The Declaration of Independence was the work of a mystic. The Constitution of the United States of America was the Divinely Inspired work that played an important role in creating the space for the Age of Healing and Joy to manifest in human consciousness. Americans have a right to be proud of their country - and not only the right, but the duty to defend it. What I feel sad and scared about, is that I am seeing way too much of the "Love it or leave it" kind of patriotism out there right now.  The kind of us vs them mentality that is all too common in human history - that is a dynamic in every war that has ever been fought in the history of mankind.  This kind of polarized reaction dehumanizes and demonizes "them" with a sweeping generality that includes many people innocent of any involvement - that spawns attacks on mosques and innocent Arab-Americans.   On a practical level this is very dysfunctional because it can polarize those who are included in the generality into siding with "them."  On a Spiritual level it is the kind of dehumanization that is necessary for any racism, hatred, prejudice and capacity to commit violent acts - and seeing others as less than human debases and wounds both us and them. . . . . .  Us vs them . . . . . . . The dynamic that is happening in this country is a very codependent one.  Just as in a family, where a child who is being abused will stand up in defense of the abusive parent to someone outside the family, or a relationship in which a person is very unhappy but will still defend their spouse against a parents criticism - so too do we come to the defense of our country.  We feel like some level of our self worth is threatened by criticism of our family or state or country - so we ride to the defense against "them" - the outsiders. This also is not a black and white issue.  Our reaction is not just codependent.  Caring for other people is not codependent.  This disease is so insidious because of the black and white thinking.  So many times I have heard people in codependence recovery judge themselves and beat themselves up for "being codependent."   I have said probably a thousand times, "It is not all codependent, some of your reasons are because you care."   Life is always gray, there are always multiple levels involved.   Perhaps some of those levels are codependent - but others are caring, are coming from our heart.  There Truly is a lot of wonderful connection going on between human beings out there right now - not just in this country but around the world - that is a beautiful thing.  Now if we can just get past some of our denial and see what is happening with a little clearer vision, we have a chance to do some major healing here.  It is possible to be proud to be an American and still not buy into us vs them thinking.     This page is no longer available on the regular web site.  To view this page, it is now necessary to pay a fee for access to the Dancing in Light section of Joy2MeU.com  On this page are quotes from, and section headings of, the original article.  The page with information on how to subscribe is Dancing in Light.

America the Codependent

honest inventory

Unexpected change of course

Alternate Perspectives

Be Aware Americans

Chapter 4 This book Attack on America: A Spiritual Healing Perspective was published online as I wrote it, between September 22nd 2001 and January 2, 2002.  The final two Chapters, 10 and 11, were published on January 1st & 2nd 2002.  As of March 13, 2002, the final 8 Chapters have been moved to the Joy2MeU Journal site.  The Journal is a password protected site that is available by subscription.  In the second Newsletter of my January Joy2MeU Update I forewarned readers of this possibility, and explained why I was considering it.  I have now moved those final 8 Chapters.  To see what was included in those chapters, as well as quotes from them, go to the Attack on America index of contents page.

*In September 2005 I launched the Dancing in Light section of Joy2MeU.com - and now the rest of the book is available there as well as in the Joy2MeU Journal.

Chapters 2 through 11 of Attack on America - A Spiritual Healing Perspective are now only available in the pay to view Dancing in Light component of Joy2MeU.com - or in the Joy2MeU Journal.

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