"Codependency is a conditioned reflex.  It is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Codependence as Delayed Stress Syndrome.)  It is an effect of brainwashing, a result of behavior modification.  Codependency is condition, or dis-ease, that is caused by environmental conditions and conditioning rather than a phenomena which is genetic or innate to human nature.  (Disease =  a disturbance in a natural process, an abnormal condition which disturbs normal organic structural integrity / process.)"

"The purpose of codependency recovery and inner child healing is to clear up our relationship with the horizontal - with self and how we relate to everything and everyone in our human environment - so that we can learn how to integrate the Spiritual into the physical and bring some balance and higher meaning to this human dance we are doing.  We are here in body at this time to manifest Love into this human experience.  We cannot do that without first learning how to access Love for our self.  In order to do that, it is necessary to awaken to how the environments we grew up in conditioned us to live life in a way that is dysfunctional in relationship to the Spiritual / vertical component of our being - in a way that does not work to help us reconnect with Love."

"A dog who was abused as a puppy will cringe and shrink back (somewhat similar to internal feeling which causes the classic codependent form of codependency) or snarl and bite (one of the counterdependent flavors of codependency) when anyone attempts to touch it.  This is a conditioned reflex.  This can be seen as the result of emotional abuse, but it is not the result of the animal having a damaged self image."

"A dog who was abused as a puppy can unlearn their conditioned reflexes by spending enough time in a safe and loving environment.  Although a safe and loving environment can be very valuable to a human being who is healing from their childhood wounding - the emotional trauma they experienced because of behavior modification experiences in early childhood - love from external sources is not enough to heal a person's relationship with self."

"Unfortunately, there are many people in twelve step programs who have not been willing to get emotionally honest with themselves - who are scared of feeling the feelings because they haven't changed the subconscious programming that keeps them in denial.  That denial and emotional dishonesty keeps them stuck in bondage to the ego's false self image.

One of the reasons that I feel compelled to keep writing more about this process is because there are so many wounded codependents out there who do not know how to do the integration and reprogramming work that will help them open up to Love.  Hopefully, some of the ways that I am explaining the wounding and recovery process in this online book will speak to some of those wounded codependents  - especially to all of the suffering codependents in Alcoholics Anonymous."

Welcome to a page of Joy2MeU The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprises Go to Home Page      Site index page Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

Included on this page are quotes from both Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls and from other copyrighted work by Robert Burney.  Online pages quoted within this chapter will be linked so that they open in a separate browser window - with the exception of any web articles referenced which are quite long, or for some other reason not conducive to internal linking.  Links will be provided at the bottom of this page to any such web pages. This is Chapter 5 of a book being published online as it is written.  To find out more about the genesis of this work you can go to Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light  Book 2: A Dysfunctional Relationship with Life: Author's Foreword Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light Book 2: A Dysfunctional Relationship with Life Chapter 5: Codependency = conditioned reactive programming By Robert Burney Pavlov's Dog Dr. Ivan Pavlov, a professor of physiology (the science of organic functions/processes,) won the Noble Prize in Medicine in 1904 for his study of the physiology of digestion.  His study of the physiological process of digestion in dogs led him to studying the link between digestion and the autonomic nervous system.  He found that he could train dogs to associate the ringing of a bell with food so that they would start salivating - which gave the stomach the message to start the digestive process - every time a bell would ring.  Thus the term "Pavlov's dog" entered language referring to conditioned reflexes that are learned as opposed to innate and natural. The work of Dr. Pavlov formed the foundation for work of psychologist's such as B.F. Skinner, who studied and refined his theories and in the process founded the field of behavioral psychology. This branch of psychology ignores the unconscious which traditional psychoanalysis focused upon, in favor of behavior modification.  Behavior modification uses positive or negative reinforcement to train animals or people to change their behavior into that which is more acceptable to whomever has power over that animal or person. Behavior modification techniques are used extensively in institutions - prisons, mental hospitals, juvenile facilities - to control behavior and attempt to change behavior patterns. Some years ago, I worked for a period of time in a Boys Home that employed behavior modification techniques.  As much as I needed the money at that time, I couldn't do the work for long (although long enough to be able to afford to buy my first computer.)  It broke my heart to see wounded boys being treated like animals who needed to be trained. . . . . . . . . .  The main point I want to make in this chapter, is that codependency is an effect of behavior modification. This page is no longer available on the regular web site.  To view this page, it is now necessary to pay a fee for access to the Dancing in Light section of Joy2MeU.com  On this page are quotes from, and section headings of, the original article.  The page with information on how to subscribe is Dancing in Light.

Ego - consciousness of self

Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light
Book 2: A Dysfunctional Relationship with Life
Go to Chapter 6: ego strength vs self worth - Published online July 5, 2002

September 2005 - Chapters 3 through 15 of this work are now exclusively available in the Dancing in Light pay to view component of Joy2MeU.com

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