"If I were just relying on my experience, I would say "love
is shaming and abusive and controlling," "love is being responsible for
other people's feelings and well being," etc. - and that would be the Truth
about love with a small l. When I say Love is not shaming, I am talking
about the True Nature of Love as I intuitively understand it."
"(LOVE is the vibrational frequency of
God; Love is an energy vibration within The Illusion which
we can access; love is, in our Codependent culture, most often
an addiction or an excuse for dysfunctional behavior.) "
"I Knew deep inside, from a very young age, that this was not my home.
I Knew that Love, if it was really such a wonderful thing, should not be
so painful - just as I Knew it was ridiculous for both sides in a war to
think that God was on their side and would help them kill the enemy.
I could feel that Love must be something much greater than I had learned
growing up. If Love is so wonderful, if Love is the answer - then
Love should set us Free."
"Freedom from shame. Freedom from judgment. Freedom from
loneliness. Freedom from feeling separate, different, not a part
of, not acceptable. Freedom from the endless, aching longing for
something more. Freedom from the hole in my soul - from the bottomless
abyss of pain and shame and sadness that I feel at the core of my being."
On this page is a part 2 in a series of articles by codependency therapist/Spiritual
teacher about The True Nature of Love.
Welcome to a page of
Joy2MeU
The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor,
grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to
You & Me Enterprises
Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational
book
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
This page includes quotes from Codependence:
The Dance of Wounded Souls, quotes from other
articles, columns, and web pages (indented) written by Robert Burney,
and a quote from
The Dance of the Wounded Souls Trilogy.
The internal links within this article open in a separate browser window.
The True Nature of Love - part 2, Love as Freedom
By Robert Burney
"The Universal Creative Force, as I understand
it, is the energy field of ALL THAT IS vibrating at the frequency of Absolute
Harmony. That vibrational frequency I call LOVE. (LOVE
is the vibrational frequency of God; Love is an energy vibration
within The Illusion which we can access; love is, in our Codependent
culture, most often an addiction or an excuse for dysfunctional behavior.)
LOVE is the energy frequency of Absolute Harmony
because it is the vibrational frequency where there is no separation.
Energy moves in wave-like patterns; what enables
movement is the separation between the valley of the wave and its peak.
The distance from peak to peak is called it's wavelength. It is a
law of physics that as vibrational frequency rises, as it gets higher,
the wavelength gets shorter. The frequency of LOVE is the vibrational
frequency where wavelength disappears, where separation disappears.
It is a place of absolute Peace, motionless, timeless,
completely at rest: The Eternal Now.
The Peace and Bliss of The Eternal Now is the
True Absolute Reality of the God-Force."
(Text in this color are quotes from Codependence:
The Dance of Wounded Souls)
What is Love? That is the question. I have been
quite balled up the last week in attempting to write this column.
No, that is not quite true - I have been unable to get into a space to
even attempt to write this column. I need to get into a certain space
- need to be feeling a special kind of creative energy - to write about
a topic such as this. It was much easier to write last month's column
about "what Love is not." Then I was writing about something much
more concrete, much more black and white (the irony of this - since one
of the characteristics of the disease is black and white thinking - is
fodder for a completely different column.) The dynamics of the disease
and the wounding process are very clear in my eyes. I have experienced
the type of love that is shaming, abusive, manipulative, smothering, intrusive,
addictive, etc., my whole life.
In fact, I learned a new word while writing this column. As I
was composing the above paragraph, and taking note of how much easier it
was to write last month's column, the word empirical came to mind.
So, I did what comes naturally when a word pops to mind - I looked it
up.
empirical 1. Relating to or based on experience or observation.
2. Relying entirely or to excess upon direct, repeated, and uncritically
accepted experience: opposed to metempirical.
Aha, a new word.
metempirical 1. Lying beyond the bounds of experience,
as intuitive principles; not derived from experience; transcendental.
So, even though I just said that it was easier to write 'what Love is not'
because of my experience - in Truth when I say that Love is not shaming
and abusive, I am actually stating my intuitive Truth. If I were
just relying on my experience, I would say "love is shaming and abusive
and controlling," "love is being responsible for other people's feelings
and well being," etc. - and that would be the Truth about love with a small
l. When I say Love is not shaming, I am talking about the True Nature
of Love as I intuitively understand it. Once I started to awaken
to the reality that civilized society on this planet was based upon some
false beliefs, then I started to be able to validate my intuitive feeling
that something was dreadfully wrong here. I Knew deep inside, from
a very young age, that this was not my home. I Knew that Love, if
it was really such a wonderful thing, should not be so painful - just as
I Knew it was ridiculous for both sides in a war to think that God was
on their side and would help them kill the enemy.
Love that is Freedom
I could feel that Love must be something much greater than
I had learned growing up. If Love is so wonderful, if Love is the
answer - then Love should set us Free. That is what is coming up
as I write this column - Love that is Freedom. Love that is Joy.
Love that is the only Truth that has ever mattered.
Love that is Freedom - what does that mean? To me it means the
Freedom to be OK with being me. The Freedom to relax and enJoy the
moment. The Freedom to be - just be, without having to strive, to
work for, to try to reach, to prove myself, to earn Love, to get "there."
It means: Freedom from shame. Freedom from judgment. Freedom
from loneliness. Freedom from feeling separate, different, not a
part of, not acceptable. Freedom from the endless, aching longing
for something more. Freedom from the hole in my soul - from the bottomless
abyss of pain and shame and sadness that I feel at the core of my being.
This place is not my home. When I yearn for Love, I am longing
to go home.
"I was 'transported with Joy', and my 'spirit
was soaring', as I danced on the rock. And in my dancing and singing
I Truly understood what those expressions meant. For in being 'transported'
and 'soaring' I was merely tuning into the vibrational frequency that is
Joy and Love and Truth. I could see clearly now how human beings
throughout history had been trying to tune into Love. The primal
urge that has caused humans to attempt to 'alter their consciousness',
through drugs or religion or food or meditation or whatever, is no more
than an attempt to raise one's vibrational frequency. All any soul
in body has ever done is to try to return home to God - we were just doing
it all backwards because of the reversity of the planets energy field."
The Dance of The Wounded Souls Trilogy Book
1 "In The Beginning . . . " (Chapter 4)
Humans have always been looking for a way home.
For a way to connect with our Higher Consciousness. For a way to
reconnect with our creator. Throughout human history, human beings
have used temporary artificial means to raise their vibrational level,
to try to reconnect with Higher Consciousness.
Drugs and alcohol, meditation and exercise, sex
and religion, starvation and overeating, the self-torture of the flagellant
or the deprivation of the hermit - all are attempts to connect with higher
consciousness. Attempts to reconnect with Spiritual Self.
Attempts to go home.
Part of the reason that I have had trouble in writing this
column is because of the intellectual context I was approaching it from.
I was thinking that I had to know what I was talking about, had to be able
to communicate to you the Truth about Love. That was pretty silly
of me.* Love is what I am learning about.
Love is what recovery and healing are all about. Love is the goal.
Love is home.
*[Actually, it was
my disease at work - causing me to judge and shame myself for not feeling
competent to write about the True Nature of Love. This disease of codependence
is so incredibly insidious, treacherous, and powerful. It continually
turns back in on itself. The disease doesn't want me to take the
risk of Loving and trusting my self and then it turns around and causes
me to judge myself because I don't Love my self. I don't Love myself
because of the disease - the ego programming that is a result of being
wounded and traumatized by being Spiritually orphaned in an alien environment.
By being born into and raised in an emotionally dishonest and dysfunctional,
Spiritually hostile, shame based, Love mutilated (mutilate - 1. To deprive
of a limb or essential part. 2. To damage or injure by the removal of an
important part.) civilization on a planet where civilized societies have
evolved based on the belief in separation and fear-based hostility - separation
between beings, separation between humans and their environment, and separation
between the flesh and the Spirit. The civilization I was raised in
is so sick and twisted that it took the teachings of the Master Teacher
who came into body to teach us about Love and twisted those teachings into
something shameful and hate-filled. Jesus Christ carried a message
of Love - not shame and judgment.]
"Due to the planetary conditions, the
human ego developed a belief in separation - which is what made violence
possible and caused the human condition as we inherited it. The reflection
of that human condition on the individual level is the disease of Codependence.
Codependence is caused by the ego being traumatized and programed in early
childhood so that our relationship with ourselves and the God-Force is
dysfunctional - that is, it does not work to help us access the Truth of
ONENESS and Love. It is through healing our relationship with ourselves
that we open our inner channel and start tuning into the Truth."
Now what I thought last month was going to be one
column about the True Nature of Love has turned into at least a 4 part
series. In dealing with the shame I was feeling about not knowing
enough about Love to write about it's True Nature, I have in fact been
processing through that shame to get to a place where I can be free to
write about the type of Love that can set me Free. So, I will save
"Love as a vibrational frequency" and "Love and romance" for future columns.
I have only a little experience with feeling Love
that sets me Free - and that has come primarily since I have been in recovery.
In those moments when I am able to connect with Love in it's True form,
then I feel that all of the pain and suffering has been worth the experience.
Then I get a taste of what home really feels like. Then I get to
feel the Joy and Truth and Love that Truly does set me Free from the illusion
of separation. In those moments, I can sometimes even feel grateful
for that illusion. Because without the illusion of separation from
The Source Energy, from Love - I would never have gotten the opportunity
to experience Love.
I am going to end this column with a continuation
of the quote from my book "The Dance of Wounded Souls" which I started
it with. This quote is from the very end of my book.
This is my intuitive Truth. This is an important part of the understanding
which has led to the beginning of my liberation from the shame. This
Truth has helped me to start Loving myself a little bit - to start Loving
myself enough to be Free to start believing that maybe, just maybe I am
Lovable and Loved.
"The Peace and Bliss of The Eternal Now is the
True Absolute Reality of the God-Force.
The illusion of separation - the distance, the
separation, between the peak and the valley - is what makes motion possible.
Separation is necessary for energy to be in motion. The illusion
of separation was necessary to create The Illusion.
As part of the ONENESS of ALL THAT IS, we are
God and God is LOVE. We are part of the Truth of ONENESS vibrating
at LOVE. As part of the ONENESS of LOVE we would never have
been able to experience Love. It is kind of like, "If you are sugar
then you never get to taste sugar."
In God we are LOVE. Without the illusion
of separation we would never have had the opportunity to experience Love.
Would never have been able to Love and be Loved.
Separation was necessary to allow us the incredible
gift of experiencing Love, of Loving and being Loved.
The Illusion that caused all of the pain is
also the vehicle for allowing us to feel and be Loved.
If you pursue your path of healing, I think that
you will find as I have that it is very much worth it. It is worth
it to be able to experience Love.
This is the Age of Healing and Joy. It is
time to start remembering who you Truly are, to start feeling and tuning
into the Truth which exists within you.
We are all butterflies.
We are all swans.
We are Spiritual Beings.
The Springtime of the Spirit has arrived:
It is possible to learn to Love yourself.
It is possible to be happy, Joyous, and free -
if you are willing to be scared and hurt, angry and sad.
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert
Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where
otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2008 by Robert Burney PO
Box 235401 Encinitas CA 92023.
The Dance of The Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1
"In The Beginning . . . " is currently being
published in installments in the Joy2MeU Journal.
It is possible to read the first two sections (6 chapters) of it in the
premier issue of the Joy2MeU Journal The
Dance of The Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1.
