Joy to You & Me
and Joy2MeU Update
|Hello Magnificent Expressions / Extensions of The Divine presently
occupying human body vehicles,
It's hot here. Especially in this little duplex we live
in. Last evening the temperature in the house was 85 degrees Fahrenheit.
As much as I hate seeing the days get shorter, I will be glad when
it cools down a bit. (I will be even happier when the Universe manifests
the abundance to move into a larger place where Darien can have his own
Speaking of abundance, I am trying to generate some by posting
a page with some Temporary Special Offers that are only good until
September 7th. Included are the lowest options I have ever offered for telephone
counseling (since the last time the rates went up) - with one offer that
works out to $50.50 an hour, and others that are $55 an hour or less. To
check out those temporary offers go here: Temporary Special
I am going to bring you all up to date by including below
the messages I have sent out to my Yahoo mailing list since the last Update
- but wanted to mention a few of the new additions and/or developments here.
The biggest news is that we canceled the planned cruise
to the Mexican Riviera in November. We are replacing it with an Exotic Western
Caribbean Cruise to the Western Caribbean leaving from New Orleans
in February. I really liked the idea that this cruise was leaving from
New Orleans instead of Miami, because I think it makes it more accessible
to people who live in parts of the South, Southwest and the Heartland (that
is what they call the Midwest in Nebraska anyway.;-) It is also not as much
flying for us with our soon to be 5 year old little man. We announced
the Mexican Riviera cruise about a week or so before the Swine Flu started
making the news - so it was not good timing for that cruise. Hopefully
one of these years we can do that one.
I added a new introduction to my Joy2MeU Journal information
page - something I have been meaning to do for quite awhile. I wrote
a great deal in the Journal up until the end of 2004 - and hadn't really
explained why I wasn't posting anything in it on that page since then. So,
this new introduction was greatly needed. Here is a quote from that
"Starting in 1999 and continuing through the end of 2004 I
shared in this Journal a personal journal where I was processing through
my fear of intimacy issues. That very painful process resulted in
getting me to a place where I am in a relationship and don't have time to
write any more.;-)
What this Journal turned into is (as I describe it on my siteindex
page): "a body of work in a password protected part of the site where
Robert is publishing the story of his Spiritual Path, a ongoing personal
recovery journal, and portions of his Trilogy and Attack on America books
not available on regular Joy2MeU site."" - Joy2MeU Journal
Included in the information in that new introduction is the
fact that we are going to be including some of the material that is now in
the Journal - along with the 2 online books and other articles that are in
the Dancing in Light subscription are - in a new site dancinginlight.com.
That site probably won't be ready for a month or so, but when it is
I will be lowering the price for the Joy2MeU Journal from $33 to $23. In
the meantime, I am offering it for the very special price of $19.95.
We have launched 3 more new websites - on inner child healing,
romantic relationships, and metaphysics. I am working on another
one now that will be the eighth new one when I get it ready to launch.
dancinginlight.com will be the ninth.
I announced new dates for Intensive Training Days in October,
November and January - and added testimonials for the ones in May and July.
My next one is Sunday Sept. 6th - and there are special offers for
it on the Temporary Special Offers
In the message I sent out to my Yahoo
mailing list last Sunday, I talked about my desire to be able to film one
of my Intensives (something we tried unsuccessfully in May.)
"So, I would really love to get the
Intensive filmed (taped, whatever you call it these days), but short
of a major miracle I don't know how we can afford to rent professional
equipment to do it. I think it will cost in the neighborhood of $350 to
$400 - so I am putting it out to the Universe and this list, that I would
love to have an angel / eskimo who would be willing to rent that equipment
for us. (Or make a donation towards that goal. If we are able
to come up with a DVD of the workshop, I will happily send a copy of it
to anyone who makes a donation of $50 or more.)" - Message to Yahoo
mailing list August 23rd 2009
I was thinking this morning that I should have offered co-producer
credit to anyone who rented the equipment from us.;-) At this time
it doesn't look like we are going to be able to do the filming. I would
probably have to know that it is possible by Wednesday September 2nd in order
to get everything set up to do it - so if someone wants to be co-producer,
let me know. Hopefully we will get this filmed one of these days.
Additions to the web site since the April 2009 Update include:
A page with information about an Intensive Training Workshop
+ follow up sessions on an Exotic Western
Caribbean Cruise leaving New Orleans February 2010
Added a new introduction and special price to the Joy2MeU Journal information page
Temporary Special Offers page
Two new sets of stories added to the page dedicated to my precious
godson / step grandson Darien
New web sites launched:
Changes have been also
made to the Special
Announced that Intensive Training Days
are scheduled for San Diego on October 11th,
November 22nd, and January 2, 2010
The testimonials for the May and July Intensives
have been added to the Intensive
A new batch of wonderful Testimonials for the book, tapes, and web site.
Some new testimonials added to
the Telephone counseling
New links added to the Recommended Links page
A few days after posting the latest additions to my Darien page,
towards bedtime he was fooling around behind me on the couch. He
started trying to take things out of my pockets - and then I did let
him take some folded up flyers out of my back pocket. The were flyers
for my next Intensive that I carry around in case I meet someone
that I think might be interested in my work. When he opened the flyer
and looked at it, he says "It's you!" - because my picture is on the flyer.
Then he got this look of, like wonder on his face, and he gushed
- gush is the word that most accurately fits the tone of voice and emotional
content of his expression (not a way of expressing himself that I have
ever heard from him before) - "I Love you!" And then he said, "You
do this for the whole world." And he repeated both of those things
several times after that.
I have no idea what was going on in his 4 3/4 year old brain - what
he thought the flyer was - but it felt like a communication directly
from his Spirit. It felt like a Goddess Stroke - a term I coined
in my October 2000 Update Newsletter (the most powerful and personally
important to me of all my Update Newsletters) - that is, a positive message
/ affirmation / confirmation / commendation / reminder from the Universe.
"I had a couple of really wonderful "God-shots" this past Sunday.
"God-shots" are messages that come out of the blue - unexpected surprises
that are messages from my Higher Power telling me that I am on the right
path, doing what I am supposed to be doing. (Actually the term God-shot
is a term I hadn't used in quite awhile - and while I was walking by the
ocean in the fog earlier today, I decided to use a different term:
Goddess Strokes. I like this better - a little gentler and more accurately
descriptive, not such a macho sounding term. ;-)
Goddess strokes can come in a variety of forms. They can involve
seeing a whale or some dolphins, some deer or hawks, at a particularly perfect
moment. This morning I looked out my window as I sat here at my computer,
and a hummingbird came flying up and hovered there looking in at me for
a moment. In the Medicine Cards, the hummingbird is a symbol of Joy
- and a reminder to me of the goal and the purpose of my path - Joy to you
Goddess strokes can involve the perfect words of a song being the first
thing I hear when I start my car. (Although not recently as my car radio
hasn't worked for a while.) Or flicking the channels on the TV at the
perfect moment to hear the message I need to hear. Or hearing that
perfect message in the middle of a movie, or buried in a book that has nothing
to do with healing. Those messages can come from a billboard beside
the road or a snatch of conversation overheard.
The most powerful ones usually come from people. In person, or through
an e-mail - over the phone or in a letter. Sometimes when I am feeling
low, when I am feeling as if my Higher Power has abandoned me, some feedback
or message will pop up out of nowhere to remind me why I have chosen this
path. To remind me that I teach best what I most need to learn.
To remind me to surrender to being Unconditionally Loved. " - October 2000 Update Newsletter
It felt as if the Great Spirit was speaking to me through him in
that moment. It felt as if I was being reminded that yes, one of the
reasons I do these workshops is for the whole planet - that following my
path and speaking my Truth is not only what I need to do for me personally,
but that it is what is necessary because of my Karmic mission is in this
"In the summer of 1988, I went through an inconceivable experience
which was a recreation of some events from a past lifetime.
In that lifetime, I had been a coward who did not stand up to evil.
In August of 1988 I was given a chance at redemption - an opportunity
to stand up to evil. (Definitely a good news - bad news situation,
a black cloud - silver lining type of opportunity.) The message
I got was that in this lifetime - in order to settle the Karma from that
and other lifetimes - I was going to have to be willing to stand up in
public and speak my Truth. I needed to be take responsibility and
be willing to speak my Truth even if everyone in the world thought I was
So, in the spring of 1991, when I felt this message coming
through me, I knew that I had to follow where I was led. I set
some dates to do a talk in June of 1991. It was that talk which
became my book Codependence: The Dance of
"I was terrified beyond description the
first time I gave this talk in June of 1991. It seemed as if emotional
memories of what it felt like to be stoned to death by an angry mob were
assaulting my being. I went ahead with it anyway, because it is what
I needed to do for myself. I needed to stand up in public and own my Truth.
I needed to own the Truth that I had come to believe in, the Truth that
worked for me to allow me to find some happiness, peace, and Joy in my life.
I found that other people found Joy and peace in my message also."
- Author's Foreword
of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls"
- quote from Attack on America - Chapter 7 (Attack on America -
A Spiritual Healing Perspective is an online book I started posting
online on 9/22/01 and it is available in both Joy2MeU Journal
and Dancing in Light subscription areas of Joy2MeU.com)
It was a reminder from the Universe that there is a very good reason
for all the pages I make available to anyone in the world who can access
the internet - no matter how many marketing people tell me it is stupid
to make so much available for free. My mission is to be a messenger
to remind people of the Truth of who we really are, and why we are here
at this very special time in the history of humanity. To remind people
of the Truth of ONENESS in LOVE - and that Love is the Light that will
guide us back home. And due to the incredible power of the internet, I
am accomplishing my mission and affecting the Collective Consciousness
of the planet globally 24/7 no matter what is going on in my personal
life at any given time. What a gift!
What a blessing to have this little angel named Darien in my life
to remind me to feel Joy and Love in the moment - and to remind me
of what an honor it is to be on this mission / to be a messenger of Truth,
no matter what kind of challenges financially or health wise or whatever
are part of this human journey I am doing so imperfectly. My Spiritual
Path may not include the kind of rewards that my ego tells me I deserve,
or that the human part of my longs for to take away some of the stress,
but it includes huge rewards of other varieties - one of the biggest of
which is this little man named Darien. (And of course, his Grandma
Susan - who is providing the majority of our financial support right now.;-)
I have added Darien stories to my Darien page
twice since my last Update in April - and have shared them with my Yahoo mailing
list. Below are excerpts from the messages I sent to my Yahoo mailing
list in the period since my last Update in April. The additions I
have made to my Darien page are in tables with a white background.
My yahoo mailing list is for anyone who is interested to getting more
frequent updates than my Update Newsletters - since I am only posting
these 2 to 3 times a year now : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Joy_2_Me_U/join
(I am adding some comments now in
this color to update or clarify references I made in these two messages.)
May 25, 2009 11:59 pm "New site & special offers"
Hello Magnificent and Powerful Spiritual Being who has chosen
to be on my yahoo mailing list,
On the day after my Intensive Training I add the testimonials
for the latest one and raise the price for the next one. Because
of the offers I have on some pages, including the home page and site
index page and New and news page - which include a subscription to Dancing
in Light and a copy of my book along with signing up for the Intensive
- that means I need to make changes on those pages also. Since some
people are signed up to be notified by email whenever the New or home
page changes, I like to make any other changes at that time - so that
people aren't being notified that there are changes when all I have
done is change that special offer. So, I am adding the latest announcement
and changes today - May 27th.
The announcements include the official launch of another web
site HealYourInnerChild.com, the testimonials from the May Intensive
have been added to the Intensive Testimonials page, new Intensive dates
on October 11th and November 22nd announced, the latest batch of testimonials
from people whose lives have been changed by my book, tapes, CDs, and website
added to the Testimonial page, and that on May 29th I will be doing an
interview on the Monda Williams show on blogtalkradio.
If you have never taken a look at the Testimonial page, it
is pretty amazing. The thank you messages keep pouring in - as
they have for years. It is very touching to me, to continue to
hear from people that my writing has so much impact on their lives.
Back in August 1988, when I got the message that my Karmic mission in this
lifetime was to stand up in public and state my Truth even if the whole
world told me I was crazy - I never could have envisioned how powerful me
stating my Truth would be in the lives of so many people. Just this
week, someone who loves my work and is a marketing person, was telling
me (as so many marketing and sales people have over the years) that I was
giving away way too much information for free. (I
had not reread this message from May until after I wrote the part just above
- so didn't realize I was basically repeating something I had said months
ago.) But that is what I do - that is my mission. I am
a messenger and I know that my message is having an impact on the Collective
Consciousness of the planet. Why the Universe thinks that it is best
for me to keep living barely above poverty while giving away such valuable
information for free is beyond my understanding - but there is no doubt
in my mind that I am to share the message and the information. And
I will keep doing that because it is what feels right to me.
I am doing whatever I can to change the financial situation
- including putting up a page with some special offers that are good
for a limited time. Those offers - for phone counseling, my Intensive,
and 3 copies of my book - will be good until June 27th when I next
need to change the price on those special offers for my Intensive.
And when I do next change those offers I am hoping that I will be done
with the new DancinginLight.com subscription site - so the regular
special offers will no longer include the Dancing in Light area of Joy2MeU
as I mentioned in a previous message to this group. It is taking
longer than I thought to get that new site ready because I have been
working on the HealYourInnerChild site along with three others in the
limited time I have to work on them. But I am almost done with two other
sites so am hopeful I will find the time to get the DancinginLight site
ready (still haven't gotten to that site - hopefully
in September.) More Will Be Revealed as usual.
The workshop in Ohio went great with over 60 people attending
- and buying books and CDs also. The travel there and back was
a pain, but the speakers meeting and the workshop were a pleasure to
do. I also got to visit Dr. Bobs house in Akron - where Bill Wilson
and Dr. Bob started AA. It was a moving experience to feel the
energy of the place. The bedroom where Dr. Bob did a third step
(before it was called that) with Bill, is a special place that people travel
from long distance to experience and do third steps of their own.
I was moved to get down on my knees and do a third step there also.
We did film the last Intensive, as I told you we would.
Unfortunately it was in a format that I can't see on my Mac, and the
sound quality was not good. I sent it to Jeff (who made the CDs
and is the one who is creating all the new sites and the audio download
and e-book and all) for him to review to see if there is anything we can
salvage out of it. I was hoping for at least enough for a youtube
video. So, we shall see. (The camera placement
and angle were not right, and it was not useable.)
I have added a new section to my page dedicated to Darien
- and will include the additional material here for you in case you
are interested. The little man continues to be a source of Light
and Love and Joy in my life - and my time spent taking care of him is
very worth it even though it doesn't leave much time for writing.
It has been very interesting to go back over all my writing
as I get these new site ready. I need to read over every page
to check to see if all the material is there and if there are things
that need to be edited or changed. So, I am, in effect, being given
a chance to review most of what I have written in the last 13 years or
so - and I must say that most of it is pretty darn good.;-) One of
the things that is real interesting to me is the consistency. I
have been talking about the same dynamics since the early 90s when I wrote
my book, it is just the ways in which I communicate it that changed and evolved
over the years - not the basic information.
I hope you are finding many moments of Joy in your life journey
Wed Jun 10, 2009 10:14 am
May 23, 2009
As I prepare some announcements and changes to make to my
site for May 25th, I am also going to add the latest Darienisms to
this page. Almost every day he does or says something that causes
my Spirit to Soar and my heart to come close to bursting with the Love
I feel for him. I can't possibly include them all, these are a
few of the real gems.
As I was driving him to school one morning not long after
my last Update when I posted this page for him, he said the following
- with pauses between the sentences as he thinks about what he is saying
and I reply to him.
"It's a beautiful Day. . . The sun is shining.
. . . . The birds are singing. . . . . Grass is growing. . . . . Leaves
are growing. . . . . Flowers are blooming. Blooming means they
are all colorful. . . . . And if you smell them, they smell sweet."
He is a very fastidious little man - and will probably have
some control issues when he gets older. Well, actually, he has
some control issues now. He likes things a certain way - his coat
zipped up all the way not part way, the toilet paper on the roll the
"right" way, etc. He doesn't like to get dirty - although of course he
does - but doesn't like to get sand in his shoes and actually makes me think
of the Princess and the pea the way he can detect even a grain of sand
in his shoes.
He is also a very helpful man. He likes to help his
grandma in the garden, or with cooking dinner, or whatever.
He used to be very literal - and it is very fascinating to
watch his intelligence evolve. It used to be if someone said
to him "See you later alligator" - he would say, "I am not an alligator.
I'm a boy." But recently as I was picking him up from school one
of the teachers said to him, "See you later alligator." - and someone
else said, "After while crocodile." And I could see him thinking
as we headed towards the door, then suddenly he turned around and said,
"See you later ham sandwich."
That is what he says now at times when he or we are leaving
somewhere, "See you later ham sandwich."
When he wants to make a point, or ask for something, or just
communicate something he thinks is important, he will say, "I want
to tell you something." And then he will share his thoughts or
wants or whatever - but he is very good at getting me to stop and listen
to him when he wants my attention. (When
he was younger he would actually take my face in his hands to make sure
I was looking at him and listening when he had something important to communicate.)
He continues to love to spend time playing on the computer
- and is always looking for new games. He will bring me something
- a hotwheel car, or his box of legos or an ad that came in something
- and tell me he wants to search on the computer. He knows if
we type in the right words we can find what he wants - except that isn't
always possible and he doesn't quite understand that yet, because he
thinks the computer can find anything.
One of his favorite things to say lately when we find what
we are looking for, or when I understand some point he has made with
me, or something happens that he was had talked about sometime earlier,
is "That's what I'm talking about." Not sure if he got that
one from TV or adapted it himself.
He does go into his king baby things some times - "I want
to buy a toy now." - and will pout for awhile when I tell him we aren't
buying any toys today. He will say when we go into a store,
that he just wants to look at the toys, not buy anything. Then
of course, he will want to buy once he starts looking.
He is a definite drama king at times - something that he
gets from both his mother and grandmother. (You
can bet I got into trouble for this remark - being accused of being quite
a drama king myself at times.;-) And will cry when something happens
to hurt his feelings - but it is almost a fake cry at times, like he thinks
that is what is necessary when his feelings are hurt.
It is not very often that he gets out of control - and usually
that is when he is tired. Every once in a while, he will throw
a little tantrum where he stalks out of the room and slams the door,
or throws something. Then I will give him a time out - which he
really hates. Usually though he gets through the pouting or drama
pretty quickly and moves forward.
I have mentioned in past writings about him, that he has
a stubborn streak and a defiant side - but also a sense of humor about
it at times. He came up with one a few weeks ago that blew me
away - don't think it was something he got off of the TV. He had
crawled up on my lap as I sat at the computer to try to talk me into letting
him play on it, instead of me working on it. And he did what he
likes to do, which is adopt a casual attitude. He slumped back against
me and put his feet up on my desk. I said, "You be careful little
man. If you kick my computer off the desk I will have to whip your
butt." He jumped down, took a few steps away and took down his pants.
Then he stuck his bare butt out at me and patted it, saying, "This butt?
You going to whip this butt?" I was really flabbergasted by that
one. Silly little man.
I have a song I sing to him, usually as we are going to school
or coming home. The first part of it goes. "He is a handsome
man, a beautiful man, a sweet and wonderful Darien man." The second
part is, "He is a smart man. A fast running man. A high jumping
man. A good climbing man. A good computer game playing man.
A Magnificent Spiritual Being of a man full of Light and Love.
And his name is . . . . . Darien Fuller."
Sometimes when I start singing it to him, he nods along agreeing
with the things I am saying - and even sometimes closing his eyes
and nodding like he does to music sometimes. Sometimes he will
be sitting in the back, drinking his juice, and acting like he isn't
listening. When he does that I will sometimes get to the part
of the song where I say his name and act like I don't remember the name
of the man I am singing about. He will chime right up to remind
me of his name at those times.
He will often request me to sing the "Darien song" for him.
He came up with a great one last week. He was acting like he wasn't
paying attention, so when it came to the end of the song I sang, "He
is a sweet and wonderful man - and his name is .......Robert.
He chimed right up to say that his name is Darien.
And then he said (with the pauses in between as he thought about what
he wanted to say, "I am the sweetest man. . . . I am a boy that
loves the whole world. I love all the people. I love the
kids. I love all the people and the pizza man."
He is the sweetest man. The other day
we were playing in the back yard with one of his digger toys and dump
trucks and our rabbit came up and nibbled on my jeans. I said
something about the rabbit - and he said, "The rabbit was hugging
you. . . . because he loves you."
There was a dead moth that was in the back yard and he insisted
that I pick it up and put it in the garden because that it would be
Anyway, I guess everyone's kids say cute things, This
little man just happens to be the apple of my eye. Such a channel
of Joy and Light and Love.
Just one more and I will stop for now - although I do plan
on adding to this page periodically, as kind of a record of him growing
up. Hopefully some day when I am gone it will serve to remind him
how very much I Love him and what a very special gift he is in my life.
On the way home from school earlier this week, there was
a plane pulling an advertising banner in the distance. I didn't
mention it to him because I wasn't sure if he could see it from his
vantage point in his car seat. But then as it crossed in front
of our path he did see it, and said, "What is that?" I told him
it was a plane pulling a sign behind it - and he asked what it said.
I told him it was too far away for me to read. Then he came up with
one of those little nuggets that throw me off until I figure out what
he is talking about. He said that he thought it was a talking lizard.
I said, "Talking lizard." He said, "Ya, I saw it on an ad.
There was a talking lizard on TV." And then I realized that he meant
the Giecko Gecko (sp?) - and that we had seen banners with that ad behind
planes some time ago. He is constantly entertaining me, this little
sweet Darien man. He is such a blessing in my life. I Love
him so dearly. ~ Robert 5:10 am May 23rd, 2009
Hello Yahoo mailing list,
On Monday a mailing went out to most of my e-mailing list
- the ones who didn't get the e-mail announcement the week before
- and I wanted to share it with the people on this list in case any
of you are not on my e-mailing list.
Hello Magnificent and Powerful Spiritual Being,
We are happy to announce the official launch our newest website
- dealing with relationships: http://www.healthyromanticrelationships.com/
On May 25th we officially launched the inner child healing
site: http://healyourinnerchild.com/ - . . . . .
Also, this last week I celebrated the 23rd anniversary of
my conscious codependency recovery. Anyone interested in that story
can read it here: The Story
of "Joy to You & Me"
Here's is wishing us all a summer full of Joy and abundance.
P.S. I have finally surrendered to all the suggestions to
join Facebook- in no small part because Susan signed up a couple of
weeks ago and is nearly addicted now. So, I am on Facebook
now - although my schedule won't allow me much time to play with it.
Just thought I would let you all know since so many people have suggested
it or sent invitations.
P.P.S. On May 29th I did an interview on the Monda Williams show on blogtalkradio. - the
recording is available if you want to listen. You can also listen
to an interview that I did on December 30th with woman who has a Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse site
Mon Jul 13, 2009 6:49 am Special
Joy2MeU & RobertBurneyLive Announcement
Hello Radiantly Beautiful Spiritual Being on my Yahoo list,
I have posted the page with the information about the new
cruise we are going on. I just sent this out to my mailing list - at
least the ones I have addresses for. The larger e-mail list will
hopefully go out in tomorrow. I wanted to post it here for those
of you on yahoo list in case you aren't on my regular mailing list.
Hello Radiantly Beautiful Spiritual Being,
This email is to announce a new cruise and a new website.
On June 29th I announced on the site that we were canceling
the planned cruise to the Mexican Riviera in November. We are replacing
it with an Exotic Luxury Cruise to the Western Caribbean leaving from
New Orleans in February. I jumped at the chance to do a cruise
leaving from New Orleans because it gives a lot easier access to the
cruise and the opportunity to do my Intensive workshop to people in
the South and Midwest (and all you folks in Texas that have bought my
book.) Also, February is a great time for people in the upper midwest
to get out of the cold for a bit. The information about it is here: http://Joy2MeU.com/seminar_cruise.html
The new website that we are officially launching is one that
is focused on Metaphysics: http://www.NewAgeDawned.com/
. . . I hope that you are finding some Joy and fun in your summer
(for those of you in the Northern Hemisphere - hope the winter is
going well for those of you down under.)
With Wishes of Joy & Peace & Love & Abundance
to You & Me,
PS My birthday is on July 23rd (on the cusp of Leo and Cancer
- I like to think I got the best qualities of both and none of the
negative ones.;-) If anyone who would like to send a birthday
Love offering my way it would be greatly appreciated and very helpful.
(This is great recovery for me by the way, my old codependent pattern
was not to let anyone know it was my birthday- and then feel like a
victim when no one remembered.;-)
Aug 23, 2009 4:58 am "Joy to You &
Me" (that was original subject - I sent it out a second time
with this subject "Trying again - Yahoo really screwed up the first try"
because it went out in html.)
To all the Magnificent,
sweet, precious beings on my yahoo mailing list,
Hi. I hope you are all able to align with the
flow of life as summer (or winter for those of you down under) comes
to an end - and find moments of Joy and peace in your day to day life.
It is always amazing to me when I stop to think about
it, how much Joy I am able to in my day to day life - and what a
sense of peace and faith underlies my experience of life - because of
my codependency recovery. A quote that I heard in early recovery
that I have mentioned often in my writing comes to mind: "Serenity
isn't freedom from the storm, it is peace amidst the storm." Well
the storm of life is ongoing here in Southern California. Especially
the walking the financial edge storm that the economic crises brought
on the end of last year. It is a good thing that Susan is working
so hard, because we wouldn't still be floating without her willingness
to drive to Orange County and work 5 days a week.
One of the reasons that I am sending this out to this
list at this time is to seek some specific help from any angel out
there who would be inclined to help. My next Intensive is in two
weeks on September 6th, and I would really love to be able to record it.
As I has mentioned months ago in a message to this list, we
did film the May Intensive, but it wasn't usable. We used Susan's
fathers camcorder and it just wasn't the kind of quality that we needed.
The sound wasn't good and I wasn't focusing on the camera, as
I guess it is important to do.
So, I would really love to get the Intensive filmed
(taped, whatever you call it these days), but short of a major miracle
I don't know how we can afford to rent professional equipment to
do it. I think it will cost in the neighborhood of $350 to $400 - so
I am putting it out to the Universe and this list, that I would love
to have an angel / eskimo who would be willing to rent that equipment
for us. (Or make a donation towards that goal. If we are able
to come up with a DVD of the workshop, I will happily send a copy of it
to anyone who makes a donation of $50 or more.)
I had hoped to have an Update Newsletter ready in August
- and will keep heading in that direction, but don't really think
I will find the time before the end of the month. Right now,
in the limited time I have to work on writing and such, I am editing
the 8th of the new sites that started launching last October (or I was
until I stopped to work in the pages associated with this message.) This
one is codependencerecovery.com and I am almost done with the proofreading
and editing that I need to do before I am okay with officially launching
it. (This site, and the others, have all been posted for quite awhile
- but until I have proof read and done any editing I need to do they
are not "official" - so I don't have any links to them anywhere.)
Part of the process of making these sites official
is that I need to read all of the articles that are part of the
sites. It has been very interesting (and time consuming given
my tendency to write long articles) to reread things I wrote years
ago. I have mentioned before that it is almost always a pleasant
surprise to me how good most of my writing is.;-) And it is really
good for me to read them again. In this latest site is include the
series of articles I wrote about Emotional
Honesty and Emotional Responsibility. The five articles
in this series are very good I think - and include my article on Setting
Personal Boundaries. That one is a really excellent article
that dozens of web sites on the internet refer people to - and numerous
professionals have asked permission to use with their clients and groups.
The one that really struck me reading it this time was
the fifth in the series: Discernment in relationship to emotional
honesty and responsibility 2. What
really stood out to me about that article as I read through it a week
or so ago, was how it talked about living in the gray area. Specifically
I gave an example of how a certain behavior at the beginning of my recovery
was dishonest and codependent, while later in recovery that same behavior
externally could be a sign of recovery and emotional balance. It
looked the same on the outside but internally everything was different
because of my recovery, because of how I was relating to what was happening.
It is quite an interesting article - and series - for anyone who
hasn't read it. Or if you haven't read it for awhile, you might understand
it on whole new levels now. (I am not including a link for that article
because I make references to the earlier ones and there is a build up
of information and perspective through them that one might miss by just
reading that one.)
Once I get this 8th site done then I will be working
on the Dancing in Light subscription area - which is a huge task
that will take lots of time to read through and edit. I mentioned
in an earlier message to this list that I am taking a couple of pieces
of work from my Joy2MeU Journal and adding it to the Dancing in Light
material that is on Joy2MeU to create the new dancinginlight.com site.
On the lengthy to do list I have somewhere in the back of my
mind, has been writing an introduction to the Joy2MeU Journal information
page to explain what that body of work includes and why nothing has
been added to it in some years. I have done that in conjunction
with writing this message and invite you to check it out: Joy2MeU Journal
(In one of those interesting Cosmic Coincidences, I had decided
to use the Help / Donation page linked above without realizing that
it contains a quote from the journal within the Joy2MeU Journal. Until
I wrote the new intro for that page, I had been thinking of that journal
as involving 43 installments. I realized in looking back there
are 43 installments plus another 15 that were titled as Newsletters
or mini-newsletters at the time - thus 58 total web pages are part
of that journal. That journal within the Journal is not going
to be moved to the new site. It is close to a million words and
quite indulgent in places I think. It does contain within it numerous
stories that effectively make up an autobiography of my life and recovery
- and one of these days I hope to have the time to go into it and extract
those stories to put them in some kind of order, either for the new dancinginlight.com
or the Journal itself.)
And by the way, I announce on that page that I will be
lowering the price of the Journal from $33 to $23 when dancinginlight
is launched - and that in the meantime I am offering it for the special
price of $19.95.
Below is the latest addition I have added to my page
about my precious step grandson, godson Darien - who continues
to be an ongoing source of great Joy in our lives. I added
some new pictures to that page also . . . . .
So, that is it for now. In perfect alignment with
the Magical, Mystical, Spiritual Fable that I call the Trilogy - that
is part of the Joy2MeU Journal and will also be in the new dancinginlight.com
- in which I talk about the Creation Dream that is this experience
of being human that we are having - remember to:
row, row, row your boat gently
down the stream,
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life
is but a dream.
PS I decided to include a list of the 7 new sites
here for the convenience of anyone who is interested.
On the way to school this morning, Darien all of
a sudden says to me, "I love this world." And then he said,
"I love this world because it is so clean." Not sure where
that came from. I thought at first he said green - but then he
corrected me and said clean. Then he said, "Is this world immaculate?"
We decided that it wasn't that clean.
Immaculate (meaning really really clean in his definition) is one of the latest words he has learned at the gym. There
is this young woman who works at the front desk of the gym that
is just crazy about Darien. After she first interacted with
him, she went into the kids club to find out what his name was because
she was so taken by him.
That first time they talked, he asked her a lot of
questions. She told him that he was very inquisitive. And
then gave him an assignment to remember that word. The next
time we saw her, he didn't remember it - but the following time he
did. And he asked her for another word - and it became a tradition
for him to ask her for a new word each time he say her. The second
word she gave him was plethora. The third word was cornucopia.
When she was explaining what cornucopia meant she said it means you
have a lot of different things like apples, and oranges, and grapes. And
he said, "like toys?"
So if you ask him his definition of plethora, it
is a lot of things. Cornucopia is a lot of different things.
Not a precise definition, but pretty good for a 4 year old.
He actually uses plethora in sentences now pretty regularly.
She has continued to give him words - so many now, that even though
he usually runs up to her and says "I remember the words you told me."
and then starts listing them - there are really too many for him to remember
them all now (or her either for that matter.)
He is such a polite and sweet little man.
He will go up to people and give them compliments. He
will compliment his grandma on a new dress or whatever. One
day as we were leaving school, there was a nanny there who picks
up twins - and he went up to them and complimented them on what they
A new store opened here a couple of months ago, a
Smart & Final store. The first time we were in it, he
kept wanting to find out where the toys were - and I kept telling
him that I didn't think they had any toys. This was not a possibility
he wanted to accept, so he told me that we needed to ask someone where
the toys were. When we came close to someone who was stocking
shelves, he called out to him, "Excuse me sir, where are the toys."
Blew me away. I had never heard him use the term sir before
- although I think I use it to him once in a while.
A couple of weeks later as I was putting him into
his car seat, he said "Yes sir." and then got embarrassed thinking
he shouldn't call me sir. I told him that it was okay to call
me sir - that he could say "Yes sir Pappa sir." He made a face,
and said, "That is just crazy!"
There was a little girl at his school that started
coming up to me every time I picked him up and asking for a play
date with him. Both of them asked me enough that I finally
gave her a card with my phone number and told her to give it to her
Mommy. She kept bugging me after that - and he said she wanted
a map to our house. I did end up printing up a map, and her Dad
did eventually call (I guess she was bugging him even more than me) -
and they had a play date.
The point of the story however is something that
happened during this period of time when I was getting bugged.
As we were going in the side gate to our backyard one day, he
found a dandelion - which he called a poofy head. He picked it
up and made a wish before blowing on it. His wish was that he
could have a play date with the little girl.
So, he thinks blowing on dandelions is a time to
make wishes - and also at night before he goes to sleep.
One day he told me that he wanted to go to the ferris - his word
for the County Fair. He kind of has fair and ferris wheel combined.
He hadn't been to the county fair in almost a year at that point,
so it surprised me when he brought it up. And then he said that he
would make a wish to go that night before he went to sleep when it was
dark outside - and he did remember to do just that. I guess he had
interpreted Susan telling him about saying a prayer at night as meaning
that was a time to make wishes. The funny thing about it is, that
when he brought it up, the County Fair had just started - and neither
Susan or I realized it at that time. Perhaps he heard some other
kid talking about it or something - but it seemed to come out of the
He has an amazing memory. He
can remember plots to almost all the cartoons he sees - and he
often brings things up out of the past. He will say, when I
was 3 such and such happened - or something to that effect. He is
a very smart little boy. How many 4 year olds do you know that
have a vocabulary that includes plethora and immaculate?
Pappa and Darien on Fathers Day
Riding a pony at the County Fair
With Grandma at breakfast in Cambria
Pappa & Darien in Cambria
One day when I picked him up from school he was very
upset. He said that another little boy - that he had accidentally
run into - had threatened to do mean things to him. On the
way home, he was talking about it and said that he thought he shouldn't
go to school any more. Another day he told me that if he kept going
to school all the time he would end up being too tired and exhausted.
He is a really sweet man, and doesn't like confrontations.
His teacher at the Montessori school was really concerned about
him not being tough enough and independent enough for kindergarten
- and was really relieved when I told her that we weren't sending him
to kindergarten this year. He doesn't turn five until November,
and we want him to be older and bigger before he starts regular schooling.
I have been concerned at times that maybe my role modeling
and nurturing approach with him has caused him to not be "tough
enough" in being able to stand up for himself. He tends to admit
to being sad instead of getting angry - which isn't bad, but may not
serve him to well out in the world. There was a sign that he is
getting better at setting boundaries however in something he said to
me last week. He has developed this habit of taking toys along
with him to the kids club at the gym that I take him to. It is
actually more like a strategy. It used to be that when he went into
an environment where there were other kids - like a park or the kids club
- he would go up to kids and ask them if they would play with him. Someplace
along the line, he figured out that if he took some interesting toys
along with him that the other kids would be drawn to him - and would be
asking him if he would play with them. Pretty smart little bugger.;-) Anyway,
last week he wanted to take one of his prized new lego toys with him -
and I said something about it might not be a good idea because he might
lose some of the little pieces or some other kid might take pieces of them.
He told me, that no he wouldn't lose them - and that when someone
had one of his toys and he wanted it back he just talks louder to them
and they give it back to him. He sounded quite proud of himself for
figuring out how to set firm boundaries.
Speaking of the legos, he now has several Star Wars sets
- one of which included R2D2. For some reason he had a really
hard time saying R2D2. He kept calling him RAD2. Finally
I typed it in big letters for him so he could see it - and gradually
he was able to remember that it was a 2 and not an A.
As I said in the last entries above, it is fascinating
to watch his intelligence evolve. He knows now that it is
a joke to say "See you later ham sandwich." instead of taking what
people say so literally. One of the hot things for kids these
days is Transformers - which I am not too crazy about personally.
But the transformers fight the Decepticons - and one day I said
something to him about the Decepticons would get us - and he just
looked at me like I was really crazy and said, "Decepticons are not
in our world. They are not real."
He also has started telling jokes. His favorite
is "Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't
peeling very well."
He is amazingly straight forward with me - doesn't
try to butter me up in order to get me to do something he wants.
He will do a little low grade kind of manipulations (like telling
me he just wants to look at the toys not buy any) - but he doesn't tell
me he loves me to try to get something from me. In fact sometimes
when he is doing is "I want to tell you something . . . " thing, and
he is taking some time to try to tell me or ask me what he wants - I will
say "You want to tell me what a wonderful Pappa I am." He just dismisses
that out of hand, saying "I know you are a wonderful Pappa." and goes on
to tell me what he wants to tell ask me.
So, when he does tell me that he loves me, it is
so genuine and touching. One day a month or so ago, we were
laying on the couch at bedtime as I am trying to get him to sleep,
and all of a sudden he says, "Do you know what makes me happy?" And
then he said it that playing with his legos made him happy - and listed
a couple of other things - and then said it made him happy because he
loved me so much. He said I was the best Pappa in the whole world.
The best Pappa he had ever had.;-)
Earlier this week, at bedtime again, he stood up
and said to me, "I love you so much. You do everything for
me. You do hard things and easy things - but you do everything
for me. Some of them are hard, like putting together my lego
I do do everything for him - and it is really cool
that he appreciates that.
He is real clear that I am not Dad - that I am Pappa
- and will correct people that ask him that. His Dad was
home on leave from Iraq in April and took him to Disneyland among
Talking to him on the phone shortly after that he
said to him, "Are you going to come and play at my house when you
are done in Iraq?"
Disneyland with Mom and Dad was a long day for a little
Play is his life. He like to play. The
legos are the latest things. They have these lego sets now
that are for Star wars and something called Power Miners (who are in
the business of harvesting crystals and have to fight off rock monsters
that try to eat the crystals.) And it is quite a challenge for
Pappa to put together some of these elaborate lego toys - especially
with him helping.;-)
It is fascinating to eavesdrop on him while he plays
in the other room - the elaborate stories he come up with.
Another thing that is so cool about him, is the way
he sings and dances for his own enjoyment. There are times
when he is showing off, but more often he tells me to go back in my
room so he can dance and sing alone. He is such an exuberant,
Joyous, sweet little boy. He does make my heart sing and my spirit
One last thing. On the way home from
someplace one day he was talking about wanting the clouds to go
away so he can make a wish. I asked him what he meant, and he
said that if there are lots of clouds then you could only get one wish.
So, he wished the clouds would go away so he could see the moon
and the stars and when they do then he gets lots of wishes. I ask him
where he heard that, and he said, "I made it up."
My wish for him, is that he gets to stay in this
environment where he is protected and loved and nurtured and cherished.
And I pray that Susan and I can give him the tools he will
need to deal with the kind of wounds that a sweet loving spirit like
him will need to deal with a world full of wounded souls and toys
that focus on conflict and promote violence. We have
tried to protect him as much as possible, but can't raise him in
a vacuum. We had never gotten him any toys with guns and such,
but relatives gave him a Transformer last Christmas - and that kind
of opened the door to lightsabers and rockets and such.
And we can't take away the wounds he has already experienced
because of the time and place and circumstances that his Soul chose
to incarnate in this lifetime.
Of course, part of the Divine Plan that is unfolding
perfectly, was the Soul contract between his Soul and my Soul
that we would meet in this lifetime at the time and place that
we did in order to learn about Love together. He is a precious
and wonderful blessing in my life and I thank the Goddess for the opportunity
to be intimately involved with this beautiful spirit that is Darien.
~ Robert 8/20/09
If anyone who feels grateful for my writing and wants
to send a little Love back my way, it would be greatly appreciated.