Testimonials for Joy to You and Me & Joy2MeU - the Web Sites of Robert Burney

This page contains some of the beautiful and heart warming testimonials that I have received for my web sites Joy2MeU and Joy to You & Me.  As you can tell by the dates that they came in, there are gaps in the time periods.  That isn't because I didn't receive testimonials during those times - it is just because I haven't harvested them from the many e-mails I get. In the beginning of 1999, I picked out a few that had come in to use on my home page.  Then was moved to collect more when a significant number were received in a short period of time.  It is only in the last 4 months that I have collected them regularly - and then, these are not all of them even from those time periods.  I could go back in my e-mail files and collect more, but I really don't see any point - and sure don't have the time.

I had not really anticipated having a page just for testimonials until just recently.  With the complete redesign I have just completed of my Joy2MeU site, having a testimonial page fit in with the overall concept of the design - so voila, here is this page.  As I was getting ready to put this page together, on the evening of January 30th 2000, I got an e-mail that included a link to someone's else site with a testimonial to my site.  Since I do not believe there are any accidents or coincidences, it seemed only appropriate that I include that link here.  The site is Dr. Irene's and it is a really wonderful site.  Her focus is on abusive relationships and she is really wonderful in her approach to the dynamics of both the abuser and the victim.  Here is the link to the testimonial on her site that includes a testimonial to my site.  Check it out http://www.drirene.com/words_of_appreciation.htm along with the rest of her site. ~ Robert 

"I freely share so much information on my site because . . . I believe it is my Karmic Mission in this lifetime.  I want to share the Joyous message and the precious information that I have discovered - and it is what I need to do for my Recovery and Spiritual Path.  It is not such a great strategy when it comes to finances however.;-)  So Donations to the Cause / Love Offerings / Spiritual Tithes are always appreciated if you feel my sharing has helped you in your Healing / Recovery process and on your Spiritual Path. If my writing has helped you remember Truth that brings you some Joy and inner peace, and your Spirit moves you to send some Love back my way . . . ." - Metaphysical Law: Giving and Receiving - Donations to the Cause / Love Offerings / Spiritual Tithes  

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The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprises.

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Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book

The Dance of Wounded Souls.
Joyously inspirational Spiritual book - Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

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Joy to You & Me Enterprises is offering a series of Intensive Training Days with Spiritual Teacher, inner child healing pioneer Robert Burney.  Learn his innovative Spiritual Integration Formula for Inner Healing.  For the locations and dates of upcoming appearances go to Day of Intensive Training.

I am now posting testimonials about every year or so - this is the first time since May 2015. 
(August 17, 2016)
This is from someone who was scheduled to come to my workshop in Las Gatos in December 2015 and couldn't attend because of food poisoning.  She was able to come to my workshop in Gilroy in April and bring her father with her.
"I also wanted to share the undeniable divine intervention regarding this workshop. I first read Co-dependence, The Dance of Wounded Souls about ten years ago and it literally ignited the spark of life within me and brought my fathers alcoholism out from under the rug of denial. It was the catalyst for embarking upon the transformational journey and spiritual awakening leading me to my soul's purpose of becoming a therapist. I finally broke the silence surrounding my father's alcoholism and he has been sober for seven years. I dreamed of being able to have us attend one of your workshops but knew he wasn't at that point in his recovery and doubted he ever would be.

I toyed with the idea of asking him but wasn't sure and then received your email asking me if I wanted to bring someone. I knew this was absolutely divine intervention and I asked him if he would like to come with me. After some thought and reading about your work, he decided he would like to come with me! I know it will be a profound healing experience and thank you for making it possible. Guess that explains where the food poisoning came from."

"Thank you Robert not only for assisting me in my healing. I have been reading and deep searching truth in your words for over 15 years. As a therapist I share your web site and words with others to help them understand their wounded hearts and souls.  Blessings to you"

"Love your insights and wisdom keep up the great work! Here in Toronto your book was recomended as a course book for addictions counselling by one of the profs."

"Your book ( codenpendence / the dance of wounded souls) is truly one of the best books I have read in a very long time - so much wisdom in such a small book.   Hoping that if I get the chance to travel to the west coast again this year I will be able to attend one of your talks too."

Comments on Facebook post of my book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
“Awesome book.”
“This book is worth STUDYING very slowly to absorb its meanings. Blew me away!”
“This book gave me all the answers i needed to turn my life around....literally saved me from destroying me....enjoy”
“I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Have listened to the tapes daily till they wore out!!”
“This book was LIFE CHANGING and LIFE SAVING for me!”
“This book is a total GAME CHANGER! Love it!”
“Wonderful book”
"Thanks Robert Burney, I did read this book and is just an awakening for the soul, to learn how to love ourselves and put some boundaries to keep a healthy life . love it."
"I'm reading this book right now and it is amazing!!!!"

"God has directed me to your sight with a purpose to heal my inner child - understand co-dependency, etc. I appreciate your wisdom and am enjoying reading through the various lessons immensely. I have passed this on to others who are doing the same."

"Thank you, Robert! You've helped me in more ways than I can count. I could never thank you enough."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your gift with me! You explain it in such a way that it just kept going click, click, click! Wow! So helpful. It has changed my life and, in turn, my family's. Love!"

"Hi Robert, I've just finished reading your book and I have to tell you, it is absolutely brilliant and I have read so many books, but yours just struck a chord with me, ongoing to read it again"

"Thank you Robert Burney, you have enhanced my perception of life through your books and talks, peace always to you my friend!”"


"This author and man is a Blessing in my life. His books and his sharing has been extremely helpful to all of us who take advantage by being connected to him on FB Facebook ... There is so much knowledge to learn to change the things we do who we are and the way we perceived our responses with reading his posts , on his website, as well as his books.... check out todays post from a past post. I can say it is one of those post that I know say so much to help all of us become better Human beings."

"Sure do appreciate your Emailed articles, & this Facebook page! You got some REALLY remarkable, HELPFUL ("practical"!) insights, & you are very gifted at expressing them! As I'm able, I'm gonna start "advertising" your Facebook page, as well as your website, to all the folks WHO ARE looking for MORE answers than "JUST not taking a drink/drug", here in Chattanooga, TN.!! (Am going to one of our CoDA mtgs, here in town, tonight... But I also got a "closed" CoDA Facebook group, that has quite a few (for Chattanooga) people in AA/NA recovery, that are ALSO INTERESTED in CoDA recovery!!! So, I'm glad I remembered your Facebook page, to share this with them!"

"Honestly, I have gotten so much from reading your books:-) he he after reading relationships I was like really, I now have a healthier relationship with Self and amazing relationships with people, places & things come to life, meaningful I think the word is ....... Thank you Robert B for being a huge part of my recovery ...... Hugs!"

"Thanks Robert Burney...this book saved my life 3 yrs ago....living a grt life now"

"i  have one year today in the ACA program, thanks to you Robert!!!   coming up on 15 in AA , 4 with no smoking, wow....such a life... i continue to be gentle, loving and humorous with my self so i can be present authentically.   thank you for showing me/US   how to do this.  you help so many... i just wanted to share my profound appreciation of your work carving out a path for all of US in the world"

"The Dance of Wounded Souls is an exceptional book. It has helped me a lot. I've read it twice and will do so many more times."

"Robert it's the 3rd time read the dance of the wounded souls & I can not tell u how much it help so thank u"

"I recently read your book dance of the wounded soul it helped me so much I loved it!!"

"Finding your website was a "god send" for me that ofcourse came at the perfect time.  Im very spiritual. I was absolutely blown away that we pretty much have the same core beliefs, or what I call my knowing, through as far as ive came, thus far, in my healing. You are filling in many blanks for me. Your writings are helping me tremendously. Ive shared your work with many friends and family that will benefit them as it has me. I shared with my brother, the metaphysics link. He is starting his awakening. Im also on the path to helping or "teaching" people to heal, and i had just explained to my brother that I can only teach another to heal as far as i have come. Ive the gift of seeing and feeling peoples pain, and usually instantly know who, what, where and why. Ive not been able to apply this to myself till I found your work. Also, you have GOT to be a soulmate of my wonderful teacher, _________, i informed her of this and she has seen your work. Ive told her she also needs to write a self help book! Anyway, thank you so much for your work. Ive got a beautiful child to heal! Love and light to

"Thank you so much Robert. I am grateful for all the enlightment your book and site has brought to me. You have been a huge gift in my life."

"Just ordered your new book about relationships as my marriage recently ended. Only read two chapters and finding it very helpful. Thank you." (Romantic Relationships ~ The Greatest Arena for Spiritual & Emotional Growth)

"Happy day, oh spiritual brother. Thank you for always leading the way, fearlessly, with such deep impact. The many who have experienced the blessings of your teaching, are forever changed. Live deep, live long."

"Its been a few days short of exactly two years since an emotional wreck first stumbled over joy2meu.com, and I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you for all that you've done for me and so many others.  Since that time, I have certainly learned a lot about myself and others that were in my life (many of whom no longer are for various reasons).  Without the knowledge you've so graciously shared, I'd probably still be riding the emotional pendulum that plagued me my entire life and can almost guarantee that I wouldn't now be happily married. 

So again, thank you for giving me the knowledge and strength to finally be emotionally honest with myself and to finally put an end to the cycle of "I'll show you, I'll get me!"  The work may never end, but it is certainly worth it"

"Love your work Robert. I completed your workbook over the holidays...spectacular!  It has really helped me in my personal growth. Keep going strong!"

“Your books and your coaching have help me tremendously .  Thank you Robert. I just want you to know that your words have helped me through many relationships and helped me to discover who I am truly am.  Thank you for those words they rescued me from some toxic people.” 

"Thank you! I hope I will have the honor of meeting you in person one day! You truly are one of the reason I find my connection to Spirit once again! Much love."

"Thank you soooo much for your clear enlightening qualities in the way you shed light on the darkness."

"I have been on a healing journey for a long time and discovering your work has been another step on my path. I hope you are rightly proud of the work you do."

"Hi Robert,  Thank you so much for helping me understand co dependency.  I have found it a difficult concept to grasp. My father was the alcoholic.  I have been going to Alanon for years which has  transformed my life.  I live in New Zealand.  If I was closer I would love to go to your workshops.  I cry when I read your work. It makes so much sense."

"I found you first online years ago and I was helped so much by your writings and bought several copies of your wounded soul book and shared them around. Thankyou so much for your wisdom! "

"This book is worth its weight in gold"

"We haven't met, but I found your website by chance before I was even aware of what codependency is, and your writing is very helpful and relevant to me

Which is putting it lightly - my girlfriend left me last year and I found myself in a very difficult place with a lot of unresolved grief. I see now that she came into my life to help me with my issues

Thank you for sharing the wisdom of your experience"

"Dear Robert, I am writing you from Switzerland. Today I prayed a lot for Divine Guidance and help, and now this evening here I found your website - and it gave me many answers !! Your work is precious, very very healing and so precious !!!"

"I just want to tell you how much I am enjoying and learning from your workbook codependency recovery: Wounded souls dancing in the light. I am going through the workbook looking at my own wounds, and also incorporating your thoughts and suggestions in helping my own clients. I am grateful for your vulnerability, courage, and willingness to act as a servant of the Universe by sharing what you have learned. Thank you."

"I have listened to the book 3  times while driving.  I want to  listen where I can take notes especially for the information in the 3rd section.  It is amazing.  You are truly gifted.  I have read (back in the day) tons of coda literature and went to 2 and 3 meetings a week.  Nothing ever came close to the way you have taken the coda saga, put the rocks in a blender and poured out out the dust so people (like me) can finally really get it.  I am looking forward to listening to the workshop.  Thank you. Thank you " (MP3 Downloads)

"I've bought the audio tapes, listened over the three parts more than three times and that was a year ago. I don't know if then I wasn't ready for what was to come but... Right now I'm in so much joy because I'm actually enjoying this beautiful process. I'm just so happy because I know that it's working for me. I can FEEL it. I'm saying thank you. X100 thank you so much. If you will excuse me now, I have more wounds to uncover and more ME to discover. Thank you!!!!!"

"I have read the book Dance of Wounded Souls ...this book made me realize what has been missing in my life and why I have always chosen the wrong person/ persons to be in my life...Thank you "

"Thanks Robert, great inspiration to help us recover from great misconceptions. Thank you so much for sharing"

"I read your 1st book many years ago..it gave me a great foundation..my healing path has involved working with my "inner children" they each have a name and represent an age group..I have re-parented them, I've connected them to Divine love..and I love that you say no matter how much work we do there are still buttons and sore points sometimes but can work thru them much faster! Thanks!!"

"I just got my hands on Dance of Wounded Souls and I am about 2/3 of the way thru. It has already been such a blessing that I do not have the words. Thank you for being brave enough to write it!!! Bless your Spirit (temporarily housed on planet earth)!!!"

"I am currently reading the wounded soul and i am facinated about the book."

"Thanks for sharing your recovery and your life's path with all of us. You are such a gift to humanity! Please stay strong, stay well, stay blessed dear friend!"

"I  truly admire your insight!! Thank you so much for all of your articles. They have been such a blessing to me and my recovery." 

"Your book, Dance of Wounded Souls, has been a significant gift in my life. Thanks again!"

"Your books and website have helped this past year to be one of my best ever. Here's to even more inner child healing going forward."

"I read your material for the first time probably in 2008 when I searched a lot online trying to learn why I was so frustrated and angry with my mother. Last year a man I work with was voicing his frustration with his mom. I passed on your name and your website. This summer I will see him again. I hope he has taken time to learn and use many of the  valuable tips from your wisdom. I am back to your site since today to lower my stress and learn how to think -and not think -about a challenging woman I work with."

"Simply thank You! Your work and words have been inspiration, hope, guideline, insight for over 10 years......and I always feel really good returning. That is a gift only few possess...... Your words ring true, then and now."

"I hope you are well. I cannot begin to say thank you for your work. I feel very blessed to have run on your website as I was searching to understand about inner child. Your writing has started to speak to me in ways I had not thought possible. Teaching me things I had felt but had not seen anyone write them so candidly. I am so happy for the understanding that comes from your in depth wisdom, truth and spiritual integrity. Thank You so much Robert. May you keep guiding us towards the way of light."

"I am a big fan of your book! It helped me more than anything else when I was going through a really tough time. I have also given it to a couple of friends who appreciated it very much.  Thank your Robert for your unique insights and sharing them for our healing too"

"Thank you for your strength and courage on your path and for sharing it with the world."

"Your book is really special to me Robert, because apart from the CoDA big book it was the first book I bought in recovery! It created a huge shift in me...thank you."

"My journey has been an interesting one.  I still trace my “awakening” and the start of the acceleration of changes back to my discovery of your codependence material in January 2011.  That transformed my relationships with people and with the world.  It has helped me cope in a codependent society.  I have also found one precious friendship that is free of codependence.  It is so refreshing to be able to communicate with a level of honesty, openness and trust."

"I just wanted to express my gratitude for your work, as it has helped me immensely in the healing process. Thank you kindly for sharing all the insights and wisdom!"

"I want to share with you that your book and website writings gave me great comfort and courage during my graduate studies in counseling from 2007-2009. Though I have not heard your voice, you were there speaking to me when I felt like I was alone in all the world.  Thank you for being an empowering, inspirational teacher for me."

"I want to thank you for the article on codependency I have just read on your website. It is so generous of you to put it out there and it had given me hope in my dealing with my subtly but exceedingly manipulative spouse....I wish you much success and I'm off to continue reading!"

"I purchased your Co-Dependence book "The Dance of Wounded Souls"... This is such an amazing book that will help millions of people that will pick it up and read it. I was traumatized throughout my childhood from alcoholic deaf parents, being molested from my step-dad, to my family being threaten to be killed by my father and I being held at gunpoint with my mother, and brother at the age of 4, bouncing from family member to orphanages and not knowing if my father or mother was going to get me and my siblings, then to my first love commuting suicide behind my home after my birthday in my teen years. Of course the list goes on and I'm sure you get the picture and understand why I feel so blessed in finding your book. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for following your calling. I feel like for the first time in my life that I have hope now that I have some understanding,direction, and tools to work with... Thanks to your book. If we could reach so many children that struggle in the foster care system, that go to counseling due to abuse or neglect or that are just simply struggling because they are forced to adopt being someone or something they are not, in order to cope or survive, we'd see so many more healthy and functional people in society. I truly hope and pray you receive this email. Thank you again."

"I just wanted to say thanks for writing your book 'dance of the wounded souls'. This book is just talking directly to me and is helping me so much every time i read it. It should be up there with the power of now and other similar books (maybe it is).  Anyway no need to reply as am sure you are very busy. Just wanted to express my gratitude"

"The first time my life meant anything was after reading...Co dependency..dance of the wounded soul....thanks much..blessings."

"I read your article on Tough Love this morning and it was exactly what I needed to hear. It got me to move away from feeling guilty about practicing tough love on my ex-boyfriend that Im still in love with. Thank you! And keep up the good work"

"I'm re-reading Codependency: Wounded Souls Dancing along with my daily Al Anon. I appreciate your opening of Self which enables me to become aware and recognize the dynamics I grew up. You have been a part of my growth and confidence as I continue moving forward so, thank YOU." 

"Your work on codependency has shined light in the dark areas of my conditioning.  I appreciate you for acknowledging my day and truly appreciate you for having the courage to spread healing around a sensitive issue"

"Hi Robert. I have been scouring your web site the past few days and read the book, "Codependency, The Dance of Wounded Souls". There is so much info that it is mind boggling."

"What a wise, insightful and healing site beyond new age fluff. I wish I found your work years ago. I see my learning echoed in your writing and it feels very affirming.  I will be ordering your books."

"I'm reading your books and very much appreciating them. Thank you so much for all your work and insight."

August 3, 2003 - A number of the testimonials I am adding today include queries about where to find my book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls (clicking on the title link will take you to my ordering page)  In my January 2002 Update I addressed the issue of where people can find my book, because it is a pretty common for people who find the site to assume that they can go out and find my book at their local book stores.  Unfortunately that is not true in most cases. - 9-7-03 Decided to leave this here for anyone who does want to find the book.  
August 2016
You can get Books, eBooks, and Audiobooks through Amazon - or you can get personally autographed copies of my books from my website.

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Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995.  Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 through 2016  by Robert Burney  PO Box 98 Fallbrook CA 92088.

More Testimonials

(May 2, 2015)

"Thank you for sharing your experiences and the process of inner child acknowledgement & acceptance. I do some form of yoga and meditation and also felt like hitting blocks because of self-destructive patterns. After many painful experiences, I am sure I know now how to accept and own the parts of me that need to be lovingly acknowledged. As I kept reading this at my work place, I felt waves of light engulfing me and taking me to a deep place of tranquility within my heart. It felt so nice to embraced by this light and have a relationship with it in a loving manner. Some call this light "God" or "Divine Presence."

Whatever it is, I expressed my gratitude to the power THAT IS for this journey and the wonderful articles that it has churned out through your being. May you be blessed abundantly for your service and calling"

"Thank you, so much, for all if your work in writing this book, Robert!... I've just finished reading it and there just aren't words to express how it has opened my mind and heart. It's a GREAT book, and I will read it, read it and re-read it again...  I found it on Amazon, and have ordered another copy to share with. One of my friends is already purchasing one of her own. Thank you, and may the Spirit continue to guide and bless you ALWAYS!"

"Dear Robert,
I have just been reading several articles from your website and I have read many books and a great deal of information, but nothing has touched on, almost precisely what I deal with in my life almost every day as what you have written about codependency and the wounded child. I was sexually abused by my father when I was a young child and besides sexual abuse there was emotional, physical and mental abuse as well as abandonment. I can't tell you how many times I was traumatized and I suffer from PTSD (more than ikely, Complex PTSD) as a result, but I'm a living example of what your book is about. I can't describe the frustration and the agony I deal with being the square peg that doesn't fit in the round hole that I'm surrounded by. Trying to work, trying to function and trying to fit in is extremely difficult for me. I guess I must have a fighting spirit, because somehow I manage, but to me, this isn't living. I've always known that in order to heal, I have to go back to those childhood wounds, but I have not been able to even find a therapist that can help me. It has been a great comfort to know that someone else out there understands exactly how difficult childhood trauma and dysfunction is to deal with and how it affects every aspect of life. Thank you for the very helpful information."

"I recently started working my way through your website and find it very healing."

"In my compulsive obsessive search for mySelf, I have found a lot of teachers and sign posts....and I'm just writing to tell you you write MAGNIFICENTLY, and if you knew what a self deprecating, self righteous, judgmental prick I can be, you would understand what a compliment this is (not that you needed). But to get through to my core, I have to hear things a very specific way and your piece that I "ran into" tonight : "The Recovery Process for inner child healing - through the fear" went straight to some of my core...so Thank you very much for speaking truth"

"Dear Robert, While we have not met before, I wanted to write and reach out and thank you for your writings on the Law of Attraction. (The Law of Attraction - Misunderstood & Misinterpreted available as eBook in Amazon Kindle format as well as Barnes & Noble Nook format.)  Like you, I felt that there was something off about the Law of Attraction, and felt that the way the Law of Attraction and other spiritual ideas were being taught led to spiritual shame, blame and judgment. I've felt angry and saddened about this too! I appreciate reading your thoughts on this topic as you put into words what I had felt and sensed. I found myself nodding along to your words."

"Amen Robert!The Law of Attraction and the Secret and all that stuff is Magical Thinking! Magical thinking has been a problem not an asset. So many people are drinking the coolaid of this metaphysics stuff. It is some what natural to Look for the easier softer way. A magical solution. But, it is not realistic. "

"My husband and I speak about you and your work in our lives almost everyday"

" I have been reading your website every day for the past week, and I will certainly buy your books.  Every time I see you mention "black and white thinking" on your website, I take a screenshot of it, because it is something that my two previous partners have repeated to me hundreds of times: "things are not as black and white as that," or "it's not all white or all black," or just as recently as yesterday, my ex yelled at me "things are not just white or black, they are grey, grey, GREY!" I am only now starting to realize that if I have heard this remark time and time again from the people who care about me, and they seem to be saying it in a very exasperated way, like they wish I would just get it already, well, maybe there is something I am not getting.  It is only you and your website that have ever made me think it may be part of the package of problems I developed due to my childhood.  So thank you for that.

I am very grateful that I happened upon your website after my therapist told me to look into "inner child work" and I googled it and found you.  And I am VERY grateful that you provide so much information instantly on your website.  I needed help instantly, and waiting a week or more for a book to arrive from amazon would have meant more time being lost and feeling like I was drowning.  The information on your website has given me something to hold onto, like a life-ring."

"I just wanted to say thanks for the mp3's. (MP3 Downloads) You hear people say " Oh, I read this book or went to that semiar and it changed my life" tehe...well, they did and they have and they continue day by day to do so. Thanks, for your own personal journey and what it must have took to get here. Thanks for all your hard work in getting all your research down on paper and onto book and mps form. I love the mp3 form. Early in the recovery i kinda fried my brain researching and reading so much, trying to find out about my story and now i find i do best listening to the spoken word. So both the Wounded souls and the workshop have been invalubale in that format for me!"

"I was very happy to get the audio downloads and the’ve helped me a lot. I was so deeply touched that I couldn’t help criying non-stop. Like opening a window to understanding this life and my own self –like the swan- in a difficult moment in my life, after many years of troubles which I considered punishments from God.
Now I’m reading your book on the computer and highlighting paragraph after paragraph. I’m short of words to describe the impact it’s causing on me, so I will just thank you with all my heart for sharing all that amazing, life-changing knowledge with us. After reading loads of psychology, spiritual, and self-help books, I assure this is the best I’ve ever read. "

"Hello Robert! I have read 2 of your books (Dance of Wounded Souls and Dancing in the LIght) and wanted to express my DEEPEST APPRECIATION for your words of truth and wisdom. Your experiences, thoughts and recovery process have resonated so deeply with me and I can't thank you enough for sharing your purpose/gifts with the world! I have been on the path to recovery since 2006, but still continue to slip and fall back into old patterns once the possibiity of a new relationship is introduced into my life. Much like your experiences, I have either chosed emotionally unavaliable partners (like my mom) or I have been the emotionally unavailable partner (sense of control). It seems as if no matter how effective I've become at recognizing and honoring/healing my inner child wounds and truly opening my full heart in a healthy, loving way, I end up with an unavailable partner who fears intimacy. No coincidenc, WHen I was the sicker/fearful/unavailable one, I had TONS of available dating partners wanting to connect and share their love with me. I don't want to go back to that place. Nor do I want to continue repeating mistakes. I'm exhausted. I've made SOOOOOO many gains, and yet....2 steps forward, 1 step back since 2006.  God bless You, Friend, for the work you do! It IS healing our planet and our collective consciousness as more and more souls awaken." 

"I want to tell you that I was just talking with my best friend and I told her that this feels like the most awesome birthday I can remember... not because of anything I'm doing but because of how great I feel and how joyful I am to be alive, and a lot of where I am in my personal growth goes back to reading your "Wounded Souls" book. Thank you again for sharing your vulnerability there, it's been an inspiration to me in my journey.

I have your "Romantic Relationships" book here and have read some of it, wanting to read more of that soon. I'm going through a difficult divorce that has the potential to get more difficult before it's over, yet I'm feeling strong and up to the challenge, in a large way thanks to you and other writers. Thank you so much!"

"I recently came across your blog  (CodependencyRecoveryExpert) as I was trying to figure out the reasons behind someone's behaviour and I have to say it is extremely relevant and has definitely been informative and eye opening. "

"I so identify with what was written here. (blog from romantic relatinship book) I stayed in a marriage for 27 years and it was not until 8 years after that I was able to go through intensive therapy at The Center in Edmonds, Washington with Dr Jantz that I was able to do the work of seeing the relationship with my depression, eating disorder, and dependence on Rx to my treatment as a child. I had literally discounted this for so long that when I talked about and wrote about my childhood at first, I made it all sound like a great adventure! I left out the the painful parts so as not to dishonor the perpetrators. The gentle and kind help provided me at the Center through group and individual sessions, finally helped me “see” , then deal with, then forgive, then use the tools to move on in my late adult life in a more reality and truth based assertive way. I do appreciate reading your work regarding co dependant behavior. My therapist recommended you. Old habits of relating to others can pop back up like weeds, and I must be vigilant to recognize when I find my self taking on the role of caretaker to my own detriment. So. Thank you Robert!

"Thank you, Robert... I don't know if you remember the day we met, the day I came from new York tohear you in Akron, but that day changed my life... I was able to live wonderful years in Ohio...and stop dancing the Codependent dance so well I became a counselor...so as I look at the last 10 years of this life, I tell people often how much I owe to you."

"Hi Robert,

I just came across your website about CoDA (Decline of CoDA), and I just wanted to say thank you. So much of what you wrote resonated with me, and I'm very happy to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Briefly, I came to CoDA about 2 years ago when I was in the midst of an abusive relationship, quite desperate. Luckily for me, there was a meeting in my local area, but since moving I've found that it's very hard to find a meeting nearby, there are only about 4 in the whole of Sydney (Australia), which is another thing you cover on your website.

I stopped going for quite a while, as my meetings were run by a well meaning, but incredibly controlling co-dependent, who used to get offended if I didn't say hello to her. I was already in a bad state, and the meetings often made me feel worse, as I'd spend a long time after the meeting apologising for perceived wrongs (not saying hello, packing up my chair incorrectly etc. -  probably making my co-dependency worse!). Also, in the shares I never got the sense that people were making much progress. They had been doing it for years and were still re-hashing the kind of issues I would expect from people early in recovery (e.g. getting offended that a friend invited another friend to the movies without asking them). Then my sponsor and I had a falling out and I was ready to give up entirely!

I've made my way back, and in a stroke of luck (a God job I think it's called), the meetings now have some people in them who I feel I can relate to, and who seem to be having great insights and making progress. (it's still run by that same person though!).

Anyway, I'm not sure if you'll appreciate this, but I was so entirely moved by your website, and could relate so much that I wanted to let you know it resonated with me and I really appreciate it."

"I know the heart and soul you have put into all this comes from hard earned experience that benefits us all!  Thank you. When i am having a difficult moment I read your information and feel validated and understood. It really help me press through the self-doubt, the pain, the sorrow. Thank you! I hope to meet you someday at one of your seminars.  Thankful in the desert ."

"I went looking and found this site, i found an answer for myself and I am grateful and I want you to know that this information has helped me over a huge obstacle.  I am grateful beyond words to AA and the seat I found there to work the steps and get into relationship with my Higher Power, GOD. My shameless alcoholic behavior is under arrest by a daily repreive...

But I want to heal my traumatic childhood wounds now. Completely. I have a psychologist that I have worked with for over 3 years now, also; I AM healing. Your writings have freed me to journey on beyond AA for now to complete the healing of my toxic shame. Thank you. I envision myself looking at perhaps the last bridge to myself. I ask the Holy  Spirit to come along. Blessings Be Upon You!"

"I wanted to thank you for your writing. Great insight, easy to understand, beautifully said... thank you! I am making your book mandatory read to all my clients.  With love and light, thank you!  _______ (all the way from Dubai)"

"Dear Robert, First I want to thank you deeply for sharing your journey and life altering insights. After more than 40 years of attempting and failing to silence the incessant critical parent/disease voice within me, and not experiencing even one day of my life without it, you spoke to me. I visited your page a few years ago intermittently. It would bring up pain, tears, deep despair.. I was struggling with the thought that after 40 years in misery, that voice would never leave me.  I couldn't bare the thought of going on without hope of silencing it but felt surely I had tried everything and was hopeless to change it. I finally returned to your page on one of those days where it called to me yet again, and I decided to simply listen and try. I spoke back to the voice that day, and each and every subsequent day. I no longer accepted it as having any view of me, and saw it for the dysfunction of my mother that it was. Amazingly I perhaps did this for three to four months before that voice departed. Robert, it has been years since that voice spoke to me at all.  It overruled my days for over 40 years, it crippled me and my life, and it was in total removed. I needed to relate my deep heartfelt gratitude, and my experience to you.  I am now revisiting your site for sharing with my wonderfully amazing and enlightened boyfriend for whom I hold the same belief in the power of what your information can speak to and transform.  I hope you are very well and know what amazing healing you are sending to the Universe!

Blessings to you and yours!"

"Huge thankyou to you for aiding me with my spiritual awakening and helping find enligtenment with your co dependency work Robert..you helped me break free from the constraints of society ...Love you for what you have helped me achieve...my ultimate potential "

"I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for your gift to me. Reading your articles really hit home for me and have done a lot of reading on codependency but never anything quite like yours. Big AHA moments for me where it all just came together and made sense and was able to see some things about me that were difficult to look at. However you have such a gentle approach and it's all about changing my relationship with self so I can connect with my higher Self. It's amazing when you can finally recognize your story as a story!!!! It then loses all it's power over you when you can see that none of it is true.....or has ever been true!!! I only hope that I am able to give to someone else what you have given me. Thank you again for sharing your amazing spirit. in total gratitude. Thank you!"

"I just want you to know that your work has been and is instrumental in my recovery. I spent 12 weeks last year in a facility designed for healthcare workers who are addicts. During that time I came to realize that my #1 drug of choice wasn't what society considers a drug at all. Codependence. That one thing was/is the root of the other drugs I had taken. Lack of self love. Dependence on things and people outside myself for my so-called self-worth. I struggled to become that which society has defined as "normal" until through your work, I took a hard look and found true that society in its entirety is codependent in some way or another, and how can a society as such actually define normal. I can say in all honesty that had I not found your work, I don't know if I'd still be alive today. So, thank you for all the long hours and dedication you've put into your work. Unless society wakes up and realizes that unless we learn to replace codependence with independence, then we can never truly learn how to be interdependent with each other in a healthy way. And, THAT, finally, would be a truly NORMAL society!"

"I bought your book 10 years ago when I got sober. It was recommended by a therapist I was seeing. I opened it recently and started reading it almost to the date exactly 10 years later. It reinforces my exact believe about humanity and human spirit down too the details. It is amazing actually. I would love to follow your other writings and teachings. Thank you again for your work in the world. It is much needed.

I found it fascinating that my Higher Power gave me exactly what I needed at the time it was needed. I would not have observed it 10 years ago I'm in a position now where I'm spiritually healthier and can actually understand. Sometimes the Wisdom just amazes me."

"Thank you, Robert and thank you for all you have taught me about my insides.  Woke up feeling invisible. The tapes still play sometimes but now i know they lie! Ha Thank you Robert, your wisdom amazes me. I've been reading the links and they are helping me heal minute by minute. You sre truly a messenger of the higher spirit." 


"Thank you Robert. I have your first book The Dance of Wounded Souls, which I purchased several years ago. I found it very helpful. Your insight is amazing. Through the years, I have received your emails and get a lot out of your writings. They have been very inspirational."

"I am a trainee therapist and have been touched deeply by your insights regarding 'wounded souls'. I have studied theorists and have a solid understanding and working knowledge of theories, but your words blow me away.... immediately I identify at a deep level with not only what your saying, but also feelings and emotions that aren't always accessible. For me, you deliver in a way that works. I am excited by the way you work with wounds from childhood to facilitate healing in the adult."

"I want to thank you for your books. Finally words which I understand, which make sense. It feels like a hugh relieve so I am really thankful for that and wanted to say that. Merci"

"They say when the studen is ready the teacher appears and I was certainly ready for your teaching.  It was about 5 weeks ago i came across your website and read a few lines of a paragraph and it just made perfect sence and resonated as Truth straight away.  That was when everything changed. I have been working on myself for a while, but the core had remained untouched.  The core being of course that i still beleived the lie, not that i could have told you that at the time...  I read that line of your wrtting and the lie crumbled before my eyes.  It was a miracle really. Although it felt very uncomfortable to feel those structures crumble and i felt somwhat lost and like i knew nothing for a few weeks. I am feeling much better these last few days. I wake up feeling somthing i have never felt before. It feels like peace.   So thankyou Robert. Thankyou for your life. Thankyou for your work. Thankyou for making it assessable."

"Thank u so much and may I say u have inspired me and helped me make some changes in my life. I owe u. Just know u have touched not only mine but others in my family. You are a great man"

"I stumbled upon your site by chance, I was curious and loved what I saw online, I ordered your book (The Dance of wounded souls) and I am half way through it and I am amazed. Great job explaining what I've been trying to understand my entire life! keep up the great job! and thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

"n 2005 on october 7, i ended up for the 2nd time involuntarily committed to a psych ward (1996 was the first time)-same place again, mid mo in columbia, mo. same deal, coming off of speed/meth.  both times tested negative for drugs. 2002 diagnosed as manic depressive-saw my dad get va benefits for it, so i figured why not try for SS, that's another story.  Anyway, both times "i lost it" i truly began to find myself.  i found in that altered state of mind that i felt better and could only be positive and uplifting to others.  i saw others in the looney bin and i said to myself, "SAVE ME, SAME ME."  I have always felt like i didn't belong and i have always wanted to belong and i see that i do in my own unique way.

 I have a strong sense of self now and thanks to you and other great writers like you, i see that i am the creator of the life i choose to live and i can have a life of my dreams!  (p.s.-in my delusional state i had finished reading your book and told Drs. at the psych ward and everybody i came in contact with etc that they too needed to read your book so they could get with the program. )  Thanks so much and may you be blessed by your true god."

"I came across your website earlier this year when I had started relaunching my own Hypnotherapy practice with a focus on Inner child healing work. I have referenced your site and I am amazed at your information and I love the fact that you're able to keep the metaphysical aspect in there as well, still on a professional level."

"I stumbled across your websites and wanted to thank you for your honesty about the traumatic impact of codependency. What you say resonates with me and is much more authentic and helpful than many hours and dollars of therapy. Many blessings, "

"Omg Robert.  I have no idea how I came across ur site but just the little I read has been such an awakening for me.  First let me say that it belief of healing our childhood wounds in order for us to ever have any chance of being able to fully understand n love ourselves has been such an eye opener for me.  My life is just so twisted being married to as I am aware now to a vulnerable NARCISSIST who has caused me to feel my life has no real meaning.  He has alienated all of my children n none of them seem to care if I am dead or alive.  Causing me to fail like I am so worthless n unloved, knowing I am a beautiful. loving compassionate person.  He has smeared me in the business we still share because I am unable unable to come up with the money for a divorce lawyer n he has taken everything.  I am constantly judged n put down and rejected by my sibling n my own mother in her dying days.  If u r familiar with NARCISSIST abuse to the extreme that is what I am trying to heal from.  And all this rejection n constant struggle of being made out to be this horrible person.  I am a very deep person who constantly educates myself on everything that has to do with the human brain.  The it's, the how's, the causes etc.  I have learned so much n I am constantly helping others but my own life is agony.  I do believe in Jesus Christ n I do know God loves me unconditionally.  I have learned that I am a beautiful person who is extremely compassionate.  I am often tld by others that u can tell I am a gd hearted person but for some reason my own family doesn't want nothing to do wit me.  I read a great bk by Dr. Wayne Dyer that spoke about giving my power away.  He also spoke about not everyone is going to understand me.  All of this helped me but after a short time I was right bk to sabotaging myself.  Judging, blaming myself etc..my health n been affecting n I haven't seen the sun shine in 10 yrs but I never give up.  But things r just becoming to much for me.  I just seem to take 1 step forward n 5 steps bk.  I barely get anything done.  Than tonite I came across you...Such a passionate person in ur beliefs.  As I began to read..I sd.  Omg that is it.. My inner child is so damaged...immediately my thought went bk to things that happen in my childhood that caused me to feel like I didn't matter.  I began to cry...I realize that when I felt these same feelings as an adult..I reacted in ways I did as a teenager..  You as something that will be life changing for me.."Detaching from feeling responsible for the feelings n behaviors of other people". That has been my biggest setback.  Being involved with a npd and his smear campaign for yrs unbeknownst to me, I was desperately trying to show my children, My family, my employees I am not this person he is portraying.  I wld get upset that my kids wld call me crazy etc or that my employees had me out to be this vicious person trying trying to steal all the money or tryin to ruin our business.  Because knew it cldnt be further from the truth.  I am still going threw all this n actually snapped last week, something I never did before. .  Always feeling responsible that  I needed to show the truth.  Not until reading what u had to say did I realize I feel this way n handle my situation in the way I did because of the pain I felt as a child..being misunderstood, feeling not worthy etc..I was the blacksheep of my parents 10 children, which means I did not go along with everyone else.  I spoke my mind. I did what I wanted but feared the  consequences.  My father was a cop n he wld have no problem grabbing me by my hair n flipping me over the fence in front of everyone or forever calling me a whore  but I knew he loved me.  As I am writing this all these hurtful things r flowing threw my conscience.  I have tucked so much childhood pain deep into my brain.  I became a very heavy drug user smoking weed at 11.   Used drugs all my life to mask the pain.  I am 56 n just pretty much straighten my life out 5 yrs ago n that is when the reality of my life n the choices I made really became Crystal clear.  U also sd  "not to give power to others about how I feel about myself...that I have no control over anyone".  My God did that hit me like a ton of bricks on my chest because I am the person I am today because that is what I have been doing.  That is the reason I feel unloved n unworthy even though deep down I know I m a great person.  I just been trying to figure out y I have so many haters n rejected n that has caused me to be stuck.  I WILL continue reading because I believe what u r saying is so true   I am so grateful for it passion on this subject and it compassion for others that u care enough to share it thoughts.  I have such a long road ahead of me but I WILL one day be able to learn how to truly love myself No matter what other people have to say or feel.  I WILL say that I am so fearful of intimacy that I never permit anyone into my world n that really saddens me cause I am such a great person.  I really do know that..finally after all these yrs, I've gotten to know myself but it came at a great price...  isolating myself from the outside world for 10 yrs.  I want to live n enjoy my journey.  U will def be the reason for giving me that hope.  God Bless You."

"Robert, you have helped so many. I give you most sincere thanks for all you have done for so many lives that you will never know.  May He that formed the cosmos, and shepherds every star, bless you and keep you"

"I am a Psychology and Humanities graduate trying to heal my childhood issues. I just wanted to say that what you say on your website is really helping me and I find it very genuine, it surpasses mere intellectual knowledge. In many ways what you write reminds me of Alice Miller. Her books have helped me tremendously too." 

"Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.  Everything I read in your article on codependence made so much sense and moved me deeply.  I am currently seeing a therapist, and the your article helped me understand myself so that I can continue to make progress in healing. Thank you"

"Thank you so much for the invaluable wisdom you generously pass on in "The Dance of Wounded Souls" and on your website. You really hit the nail on the head with this stuff. I lent my copy to someone, but have decided not to ask for it back, as I think their need for it is as great as mine! So I've been meaning to buy another one for some time - and now I'm very interested in what you have to say about relationships too.
Thank goodness for people like you who learn their lessons wisely and then have the kindness to offer others a helping hand."

"I have gotten so much from your writing!!!  I feel like there is someone out there who understands me when I read your website! Both of my parents are drug addicts.  I started going to AA meetings, ACA meetings, LAA meetings, CODA meetings, Al-anon meetings all at the same time in February of last year.  I know that seems like a lot, but my issues are so entangled, as is common for folks like us, its been hard to tease them out from each other... My homegroup/sponsor/ and step work thus far are AA.   I've made a tremendous amount of progress when it comes to no longer living an Insane life - the only way of life I'd ever known!  But now I'm in a place in my recovery where I realize I've got to do this intensive inner child work to move forward."

"I just really want to thank you for writing your books on codependency. Most of the time you read books, and think, "Yeah, that makes sense, I SHOULD think that way."  Your books do something completely different. You have literally changed the way I think AS I have read your books. It just clicks, flawlessly. I am a completely different person than I was a month ago. Every day I grow and change for the better.  Thank you, thank you, a million times.""

(December 14, 2013)

"I would like to thank You for your work, it has not only saved my life but has given may a life I never dreamed of."

"I've had the privilege of reading your book. (Romantic Relationships ~ The Greatest Arena for Spiritual & Emotional Growth) I absolutely love it. You have an amazing perspective on romantic relationships and healing. I can relate to a lot of your experiences in love and I have to agree romantic relationships are truly the greatest arenas for emotional and spiritual growth. The current relationship I'm involved in has been that vehicle for me. It has helped me grow in leaps and bounds. Your work has had a huge impact on my view of romantic relationships. Thank you for your beautiful message and for this great book. So many people are going to receive healing from it."

"I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new website! (RecoveryCodependence.com) It is very clean, with lots of white space & the content is viewable from my smartphone. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story, spirit and tools for healing with the world. Your website has been a Godsend and instrumental in helping me heal childhood wounds. I stumbled across your joy2meu site in 2009 after performing a google search for "co dependence in relationships!" I hit rockbottom & was in my umpteenth unhealthy unloving relationship. I could go on and on but I will just say that I thank God everyday for finding your site. I was suffered a childhood trauma when I was 5 yrs old at the hands of the son of a family friend & I was finally able to come to terms with it. I also gained a better understanding of the pathology of my behavior and relationship with self, as well as my parents and their parents. So again--THANK YOU! "

"I would not be who I am today if I didn't find your work 12 years ago. Thank you."

"I found your work when I googled abandonment. I really like your work, I've shared it with many in ACA. I only started my ACA work 4 years ago but AA long before that. I really get that drinking is only a symptom of the disease. Keep up the great work."

"I have found reading your blog (CodependencyRecoveryExpert) strengthening and uplifting, especially at times of lonliness and doubt. Your spirit has touched my life. Thank you."

"I am re-reading Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls, Dancing in The Light. (Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light  Book 1 Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing)  It is the best and my hat is off to you for this enlightening work.  In sharing your personal experiences it opens a wealth of self knowledge to me when reading."

"In bed reading Robert Burney "Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light." A wonderful book of Truth and practical instruction for recovery. Thank you ManFlu for the opportunity you gave me to read."

"I am over the moon that I have found your website and your books.  I have watched and listened to you on youtube too.   I just want to say thank you for sharing your truth and your experiences with me. Many blessings to you and thank you again."

"Thankyou Robert for all your inspirational writing i have had the good fortune to read over the years. Your writing has often been a great help bringing clarity and perspective on my situation when i most needed it."

"Hey Robert, thankyou for you'd writing. I had an epithany moment whilst reading what you have written about counterdependance. I had never heard the term before and had been searching for an understanding of my problems for many years. Could resonate with so many of the points you make. Amazing stuff! Love to you & your family and happiness always."

"I came across your website several years ago and was blown away, as it expressed exactly how I think and feel about healing our childhood/past wounds. Thank you so very much for writing in words what I have not been able to do as yet."

"All I can say is - thank you so much! I stumbled upon your site by accident and just couldn’t stop reading. It’s been a life changing experience for me, and for the first time in my life I feel that I can truly begin to heal. It’s all exactly what I’m going through, but with no teacher or guide, I was literally cracking up - not able to understand myself - why I’m doing what I do or feeling what I feel.  Thank you, Robert. Again, I have no words to express what I feel."

"Many times reading one sentence from an article is like the saying "A picture is worth a thousand words"( it's like you are painting with words).  I feel like a Phoenix rising from the ashes after reading some of your articles. It's been very healing and validating.   Thank you for the work that you do."

"I'm experiencing life differently and more mindfully and more joyfully since learning from you."

"I discovered your website and read your book Dance of the Wounded Souls earlier this year.  I just wanted to share that I am very moved by your work and personally find your ideas to be one of the only sources that I believe tackle the human condition with complete honesty and transparency.

I particularly enjoyed your article on the flaws in the ways we are being exposed to various interpretations of the Law of Attraction (The Law of Attraction - Misunderstood & Misinterpreted)and the harm this is in fact doing by stirring up more shame and feelings of unworthiness.  I know I have felt very confused by the messages flying around about manifesting as if it were just a matter of going shopping, rather than having a true understanding of the interwoven laws of the universe and the intricacies of our journeys to heal our wounds.

I have read a lot of books this year and I can honestly say that I direct people to your site above all others because I believe in caring for ourselves and others, and I feel that your work supports that.

Thank you and congratulations on your journey.  I hope you continue to write and I would be happy to support you in any way I can.  I live in
Melbourne and am originally from the UK."

"i imediately ordered your law of attraction for kindle.    I am sooo excited about any of your books.  Your teaching and friendship has become so important to me over the years."

"I can't say enough about what a difference your book made in my life. I have listened to the audio at least 4x this past year. Thank you sir!!!"

"Really love your website and the content of work there already hit a few buttons. I did felt better by just reading the words.  I think you have a fabulous way with your writing, which read easily and I thoroughly enjoyed all of it."

"I am grateful that you have entered my life through your writing and willingness to share your abundance of hope. Thanks!"

"Your writing has done so much to open my eyes and feed my hunger for knowledge about something I've been struggling with for a long time.  As I've mentioned to you, your writing is so credible both content-wise and in it's presentation.  Something about your writing made me 'hear' for the first time.  Thank you for that gift!!! And thank goodness that it's free on the website or I'm not sure I would have arrived here. I needed to know that what you were saying would resonate."

"Very grateful for you and the healing work you do, Robert!"

"I just discovered your website and it is just what I needed at this time.  Thank you for all of the time & work you have put into this.  Obviously, you are well into your recovery path."

"I just want you to know, we hope that some time in our life we may somehow make a difference in someone's life. And even though you don't really know me, you have definitely made a difference in mine. A few years back, you were in a tough place financially, and put a call out for help. I had just recently found your website and had done a lot of reading that really, really changed my outlook on life. I believed so much in the things I had read, I decided to help you out and at the same time try to help some of the people I loved the most in my life. I sent you some money and used it to order 10 of your books and asked you to write a personal note in each one of them to certain people in my life. We decided that the rest of the money would go towards a personal counseling session some time in the future. Although I never had that counseling session, the books themselves made such an impact. I still to this day am constantly asking people (when they are struggling), "have you read your pink book?". The 'pink book' is well known in my circle. Thank you for the difference you have made in our lives!!! Much love!"

"I came across your site / have been reading (feeling) the information that you present.  Right time/ right place for me to be.  I want to thank you for sharing your bio, insights and process(s)."

"Thank you Robert, I think you are terrific. I have had problems most of my life. I have been through alot of therapy. Nothing made sense until I started reading all your information on codependency. Codependency sure leads to a very painful life. Thank you, Robert."

"I'm grateful that you decided to give back. Your knowledge has saved my life and I am sure many others. I love what you do and feel so lucky that I came across you! Thank you for everything."

"Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.  It makes the work come alive.  There are few people that have that ability."

"Thank you, Robert. I so enjoy your writings, wisdom, compassion, and care."

"Just over two months ago (mid February) my world was turned upside down, my heart broken, and my emotional state shattered.  I thought I was going to lose it.  Thankfully, that did not happen.  As I embarked on yet another phase of healing in my life, I came across some of your arcticles on the internet.  This led me to purchase your book "Codependence, The Dance of Wounded Souls."  Upon finishing the book about five minutes ago, I decided to contact you.

THANK YOU.  Thank you for your willingness to share your life experience and the insights you have learned along the way.  I underlined at least three quarters of the book, and will be reading it again in very soon.

While there are so many helpful words, sentences, and paragraphs, perhaps what helped me most was in the final chapter.  In particular, the following:  "I spent most of my life trying to become perfect, loved, accepted, respected. . .Now I know that I am not in control of this process and that what I am becoming is in the hands of a Loving Great Spirit. . .There are no accidents, no coincidences - everything is unfolding perfectly." (page 124)

Once again, thank you so very much for the gift of your life experience and the honesty with which you communicated it.  You have helped me more than you will ever know." 

"I've read your page on and off for the last few years. I really appreciate such a resource expounding on human psyche with a firm spiritual/metaphysical background. If it wasn't, I doubt I could relate to it....as I evolve more and more spiritually I find it hard to relate to someone who has anything to say about life without a common understanding that we are creators of our experience. . . . Thank you so much for your time and for your invaluable website. I'm glad there are kind people like you talking about such important topics."

"With my absolute happiness to have found your site is so lovely & miracalous that I could never imagine."

"At age 68 I decided that getting my Doctorate in Psychology was very important, so I went for it.  Thankfully I have fulfilled a desire and will continue looking for all those golden opportunities.   I must tell you that I have used your books on many occasions, in particular when working with parents of addicted children, as well as spouses of addicts.  I am a recovering alcoholic (34 years) and also recovering co-dependent.  Getting free of alcohol was easier than dealing with the other issues. "

"I love your work and i tell everyone who will listen Changed my life completely. Thank you."

"I really love your websites. I can spend hours upon hours reading...learning. I,too, am two and a half years in recovery. My particular DOC is people. My 12step program is AlAnon. Your experience, strength, hope and wisdom really speak to me. On so many levels! Thank you!"

"Thanks for this. Fantastic book Robert - actually all three books are great and I've bought a few copies for different friends and family over the year. This time I need to give this as a gift to my 24 yr old son who is dyslectic and who hates reading so needs another medium to listen to the learnings and teachings.

A superb series and thanks for writing it all down - you have encapsulated and articulated the feelings exactly of 1,000s.... we all learnt it the hard way, but seeing it so clearly in black and white makes the confusion and pain much clearer and easier to understand, and almost washes it away."

"I love your stuff Robert, everything in it, decribe me totally! "

"As I sit here reading your book, I have to stop and say... Thank you little Robbie! For making it through  the mire to surface with all these jewels and gifts for humanity. You are a true champion of the spirit!"

"I recently finished your book "Dance of the wounded souls" that was given to me by a friend in recovery _______.Given how I have been feeling "slow and painful meander of the wounded soul" would fit better but the idea of being able turn this into a dance is something that i would like a lot, as dancing this seems so full of  aliveness and jubilation. He gave me the book over a year ago, and after not picking it up I gave it back after a couple of weeks.After going through quite an intense experience of my inner child (which i can explain when we speak) I ask for the book back.Although it was in my hands previously I guess i mustn't have been ready.This time I read it front to back over an evening.What you wrote about struck a cord and your were able to articulate with inspiration and compassion many of those feeling and awareness's that are hard to name."

"Loved what I've read....painful though. Thanks for putting your pain and hope into words and share them w the world."

" I have already translate your series of "Healthy Romantic Relationship "into Chinese the year before last year. Thank your for your discovery for building up a healthy relationship between man and woman. I send your many articals to all the people in our Chinese CoDA."

"You always know how to put everything in such simplistic terms to be digested, love that! You really are the best!! Great words of wisdom!"

"Thank you for your precise wisdom...incredibly truthful and to the point...would lv to keep contact and correspondence...you put my thoughts into words so perfectly and I am honored by your insight."

"I somehow stumbled upon your website last night and was immediately drawn in by your words and the way u explained things. I started crying because for the first time someone was able to articulate into words exactly how I felt and it made sense why I felt that way. I'm in treatment and have 84 days sober today. After reading your website last night, I woke up this morning feeling better than I have the entire time I've been at rehab. People are always talking about reading the big book and thinking "that's me!" After they read a story from it. Finally I can now read something and relate to that feeling of "that's me!". Now that I understand that my programming as a child has a direct effect on my behaviors and feelings today, I am able to work on trying to adjust those dysfunctional perceptions and heal. Words cannot describe how relieving and better I feel just from your insight and knowledge. I want to order your books on amazon but unfortunately my family hasn't been helping me out financially since I've been in treatment. I will continue reading the pages on your website and work on reprogramming what was instilled in my perceptions and beliefs as a child. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge! I finally am feeling confident in beating my addiction and bettering me life. Have a great day!"

"I just finished your Dance book and absolutely loved it and I'm going on to your relationships book. I'm so happy to come across your work as it really speaks to me and helps tie together so many lessons the world has been sending me lately and re-enforces the teachings of some of my mentors. Thank you for being brave enough to do the work and healing you have done so that you can share it with others and help bring them a long. "

"This is writing from Hong Kong.   i came across with your website, i truly feel very inspiring of your teachings, especially about Inner Child!"

"Just want you to know you will never know how many people you have touched by sharing your life journey. I bought three of your books a few years ago and use them with my clients. One is mine and it is highlighted and dog-earred. It came to me when I knew what you were saying and as my partner states you were my witness. Love surround you and yours."

"At times, when I felt weak, sad or in need of confirmation, I went looking online. I found your pages many years ago. I even shared them with family members. Your words and pages have helped me more than you will ever know!! Thank you for that!!  Thank you so much ... and thank you for all the years and work that you have given to help others like myself. You are truly an amazing person!" 

"Thank you for being such an inspiration to me."

"After years of self help work, reading, taking different seminars (I have a PhD in me) I feel like I'm finally able to integrate it all into actionable realities because of you, your website's wisdom and your book. I had started in Al anon, started journaling through grief, and got your a hold of your codependency work all at the same time but honestly, being able to see my self clearly ( my wounded, spoiled inner child vs. Adult/higher self) has been so empowering. I ask my self daily, is this my wounded child feeling pissed off, demanding or needy etc. Its been such a gift. I already see that living with alignment with my intuition and true higher power is paying off. I'm planting little seeds of success and more self love. Thank you Robert, you are a gift."

"The work you do has made such a huge difference in my life. Bless you for following your Higher Power. "

"I am at the moment doing a website for self healing I have put yr book on my site with an extract from the dance of the wounded souls.. this was one of the first books I was sent to by my guides and it saved me many times."

"Thank you again for your work. Keep waking the babies!  Your work on releasing the suppressed energy of anger, sadness and rage saved my life. It helped me to honor myself honestly. It moved me to acceptance and self actualization. Not an easy feat but the best work I've ever done. Thank you for reminding me to be fully Spiritual in human vehicle"

"I was introduced to recovery from your website and it has changed my life for ever and for the better.  I have so much to thank you for Robert."

"Thank you Robert! So happy to get this greeting from you - I want to tell you that I was just talking with my best friend and I told her that this feels like the most awesome birthday I can remember... not because of anything I'm doing but because of how great I feel and how joyful I am to be alive, and a lot of where I am in my personal growth goes back to reading your "Wounded Souls" book. Thank you again for sharing your vulnerability there, it's been an inspiration to me in my journey.

I have your "Romantic Relationships" book here and have read some of it, wanting to read more of that soon. I'm going through a difficult divorce that has the potential to get more difficult before it's over, yet I'm feeling strong and up to the challenge, in a large way thanks to you and other writers. Thank you so much!"

"I just finished reading all three of your books. I just felt compelled to write you to say how much your writing style resonated with me and how much I enjoyed your books. I am on my path of enlightenment, and you have given me insight and hope on how to have a happy and healthy romantic relationship. I congratulate you! Thank you for your words of inspiration."

"You are a source of hope, solace, love, joy and abundance to many people, who are in great pain.  THANK YOU for giving of yourself so freely."

"Hello dear sir,i don't know where to begin, but the shock and energy am feeling now is driving me to write to you. I stumbled upon you webpage, am so glad that I did, while ordering takeout food and perused the codependency section while eating. nothing prepared me for the extracts you put there,i was almost in tears out in the public and I am a introverted dude faking outward strength.the information that appears on your page have pierced my heart for they describe precisely the patterns of behavior that I display. I try to hide by keeping up appearances of order, but I am beginning to realize small cracks of my inner chaos are slowly manifesting themselves. anyway, thank you. I doubt you are active on this website at all but I will make sure to share your website with others. thank you again." 

"You're amazing! I thank God every day for finding your website! I've turned so many people onto you and your guidance."

"I am a new member to you interent site and I am reading your book 'The Dance of Wounded Souls' for the second time and I can only be thankful  for your honesty, which makes me laugh, agree and even more, it helps me accept my human experience and stay in recovery."

"YOU who hold and share the way to healing of SELF .. and freely have to so many, myself included...your work is more helpful and real than anything I have ever found in 40 years of searching to heal my soul. Yours ONLY, touched my soul and soothes it and defines and explains, as if you were me..as if you were each person who is reading you..and gives us light to head towards..even helps us find our way all the way there. I just wanted to say thank you again, I'm glad to be a distant friend, and actually feel blessed to have this soul..a lonely soul, but it connects me to you and others like you..all these souls filled with love and just searching for unity of all things! I know you're busy, yet I know you will see my note sometime. So, honestly I hope you are too busy being famous and in demand.. and loved...love"

"I have recently discovered your website and thank goodness for your books and the information. I very much need it, and I am sure all of humanity does as well. I look forward to healing my inner children and to living the life I deserve."

"I look forward to exploring your work and suggestions further.  I was sad that our big library does not have any of your work yet.  I have not read any of it yet but it jumped off the website and practically into my soul so I am gonna have to delve in at some point in the near future on this path of healing."

"I purchased and read Codependence The Dance of Wounded Souls last year, which helped me to see what was really going on in my life.  Thank you for your books and your websites, they have been very helpful for me."

"I am currently reading Wounded Souls Dancing In The Light. Every single word you write resonates with my soul. Once I have finished all 3 books I will write you a more detailed response. I just wanted you to know how grateful I am."

"Dear Robert,i just felted to write how gratefull i am for your existance,even though i don´t have your books but i get some material on internet and it is really helpefull.maybe it sounds very weird from a person that you haven´t met.i really am gratefull for you and would love to see you in Portugal and if by any chance you need a translator ,i will do it lovingly for free.All the good things for you and your family."

"Reading some of your material has been painful and also bringing about much relief. A female friend and I can have a better relationship and avoid agonizing painful conflicts because of more awareness.  you have my greatest gratitude for saving so many lives from ruin."

"thank you so much for "codependence, dance of wounded souls" I have never read anything that has described my experience so accurately."

"I am 77, have been 12 Stepping in several of our programs, mostly Coda, for 18 years. I have had your book in my recovery library for many of those years, but had never got around to reading it: UNTIL NOW. Thank you very much. Having been knocked out this book, I have just purchased your Triology from Amazon, and am about to get stuck into these with great enthusiasm." 

"I so enjoyed what you had written on the web about codependence.  Word for word rang true to me."

"I have spent alot of time reading the information you have on your Joy2meu website. First off, you are brilliant. Alot of what you said and your outlook on life is how i live my life as well. I have along way to go with this journey but it will be worth it in the end. I'm only 19 years old and have been reunited with my twin flame. Oh and trust me, I'm positive it's my twin flame. I have done a tremendous amount of research to know this isn't a soul mate. But it's hard, the hardest thing I've ever gone through honestly. Im just writing you a email to let you know how thankful I am for you sharing your knowledge to the world and making a difference in people's live. A very selfless act."

(September 23, 2012)

"Your books are two of the most important books I have ever read. The advice has been life changing - thank you."

"I just really want to thank you for writing your books on codependency. Most of the time you read books, and think, "Yeah, that makes sense, I SHOULD think that way."  Your books do something completely different. You have literally changed the way I think AS I have read your books. It just clicks, flawlessly. I am a completely different person than I was a month ago. Every day I grow and change for the better.

Thank you, thank you, a million times. I have been helping others find your books, since I am so thrilled with your teachings.  I hope you have a wonderful day, and thank you for reading another email from a devoted pupil."

"I read your book on healing the inner child.  The last one. (Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light  Book 1 Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing)  I’ve only just come across your work in the last month and i ve benefitted so much from your wisdom and insight i want to thank you and express my heartfelt (was crying a lot) gratitude that now I feel I’m not a total mystery to myself any more. "

"A few years ago I bought a book ("The Dance of Wounded Souls") while living at my Mother's house.  I finally sat down and read it.  It has helped me immensely in the past few weeks make sense of what has been happening to me physically, mentally and spiritually.  I have changed so much that I'm finding it hard to remember who I used to be.  This is a good thing and I just wanted to say thank you.  Thank you so much for all you do.  Without people like you a lot of us would be aimlessly floating through life growing more embittered.  Thanks for being you :D"

"I read this article http://joy2meu.com/Fear_of_Intimacy.html on your website today. I found it to be the most enlightening piece of writing, all that you wrote about rang true for me.  It has already made a huge positive difference to the way I feel about myself and my hope to be a more 'real' person in the future."

"Thank you very much I read your Facebook posts all the time and I get so inspired and I am on my road to recovery...Thank you very much for your wisdom"

"I received your book yesterday. I read it in one go.  It is a beautiful, courageous piece of work and am in debt to you for  sharing this wisdom.  I would like to give you this Irish Blessing. "may the road rise up to meet you and the wind be ever at your back""

"Dear Robert I keep reading your articles which remind me that this process is difficult and painful but keeps getting better with the healing and releasing. You are truly a GOD SEND in my life. It is so comforting to feel that I have hope to recover, not to perfection but never ending progression. I am still in the process of connecting with my inner children. Still doing my level best to shut off my critical parent who literally screams in my ear!!!! Connecting with GoD who is always always guiding and loving me. Now I am able to accept that the relationships that don't work are just helping me go further and deeper within. Thank you Robert!!!"

"I wanted to tell you that your book has been one of the most powerful influences in my life. And I am looking forward to the next one on Romantic Relationships."

"Just to give a quick background, I am a co-dependant. I became separated from my wife, lost my job, and a place to live all in the same day last month. The most traumatic and horrifying experience in my life, the pain is unlike anything I have experienced before. I am currently in therapy and have found a better job than my previous one, and have also re-discovered my lost spirituality. One day while in the waiting area waiting on my therapy appointment a few weeks ago, there was a pamphlet on co-dependancy on the table next to me. I picked it up and read it and was shocked. It seemed to be written about me, as well as my probably soon to be ex wife, it all fit perfectly. To get to the point, I discovered your website a few days ago and it has been tremendously helpful and educational to me. I bought the ebook last night and just finished it about an hour ago, words cannot explain how I feel right now after reading it. Becoming aware of co-dependancy, what it is, and how it has controlled my entire life, has been a very scary experience. But strangely, becoming aware of it also feels like a huge burden has been lifted. Your book and website have made me make up my mind to seek out a co-dependants anonymous group. I also feel like I have a big head start in my therapy, as much of what is in your book is what my therapist has mentioned, especially the healing of the inner child. I truly want to thank you with all of my heart."

"Over the past 13 months I have been in the grips of a relentless depression brought on by an intense panic attack last summer. Throughout this journey, a dark one at times, I stumbled across your website and your book. I can't tell you enough how profound and liberating your material is. . . When I found your site, I read my life's story. I cried. I commend you for having the courage to process your anger, at society, at your parents, and at the God of your parents. Your section on how you refer to your higher power as "bubba" was joyous. (This is in my Trilogy.) I think your writings come the closest to the original message of Jesus, that to love your neighbor, one must love himself first. Sin, I think, is the failure to love yourself as God loves you. We feel empty, ashamed, abandoned...we spend our days creating false idols for ourselves to gives us a moments relief from the void that is in all of us...that only God's love can fill. Bless you Robert. Thank you for giving my the courage to see the truth of my upbringing and to say to myself, "it's not your fault, you were just a little kid.""

"You have touched my heart with your wisdom. I love your website & I am finally beginning to heal ...my inner child. Thank you doesn't even seem to express how grateful I am to have found your words. May you be blessed! With peace & love!"

"I have been reading on your website and the information you share has already been so helpful to me on my path to recovery. I am no longer a victim, but I am still a survivor of sexual and emotional abuse.  In order to protect myself, I walked off and refused to let anyone in (due to many failed attempts at establishing 'healthy' relationships with people just like the ones who abused me).  I became very withdrawn, untrusting and fiercely lonely... but horribly afraid and ashamed.  I've been helped by someone who saw through my armor as a former survivor... and now I'm slowly finding my way to a healthy emotional place where I love and respect myself.

I would like very much to be added to your newsletter mailing list, please. With thanks and kind regards,"

"I feel this book is really hitting home with me...could not agree any more with darn near every last word you have written. Well done. I am getting hope about some of my reactions and ways of living my life that are unhealthy and realize how much in denial I am/was of my emotions from a very early age in life."

"Just wanted to let you know I have received your book and am currently reading it.  I am finding it enjoyable and unexpectedly true. At first I wasn't sure if it was going to apply to me, but unfortunately it does.  I hope more people read it.  Keep up the good work."

"Thank you so much for the courage and clarity in sharing your words - I have just found your website and and listening to the Dance of Recovery.  I am ready to hear this and get what your saying!  All my years of spiritual growth have led me to these words - reflecting and validating my own deepest thoughts and feelings.  Spirituality arises out of acceptance.  It is a healthy outlook on life and not a process of adding to the existing shaming within.  God is love! Brilliant..."

"I’m really enjoying and getting a lot from articles on your website – and I got a lot from your book too (Dance of wounded souls). So thank you for the writing/thinking you’re doing … I shall get a copy of your Co-dependency Recovery book next.
I agree with a lot of what you say about the way 12 Step wisdom gets turned into dogma (I really value the fellowship I’m in and hate the dogma) …" 

"Life changing book..when i found it and joy2meu i felt a second homecoming. Finding AA was the first."

"I'm loving the site, I spend lots of time going over the articles (again and again). I find myself crying tears of relief/release while I'm reading. The Truth, my Truth is there. I'm so grateful that you've articulated all of this. All these things I've known to be true but keep getting told to 'get over it' 'grow a thick skin' 'that was in the past'. These messages are delivered by people who have a vested interest in not reliving my past (their guilt, their shame, their egos prevent it). I've tried denial but, as you well know, there is no good end to that path."

"Thank you for your amazing website; there is so much information there."

"You may or may not remember but I ordered your book last month and I also ordered a 2nd copy of it and sent it to my X husband in prison serving 2 years for his 3rd DUI.

He's been out of control spiraling downward in self destruction for a few years now since retiring at 55.  I didn't know what to do with him anymore after AA failed as did counselors, rehab, the church, medications, arrests, halfway houses. group therapies, classes, on & on. I finally divorced him but I haven't entirely abandoned him as he was a good guy with 17 years sobriety during our marriage. When I read a very excerpts about your book I felt he need to read it, tho he opposes any kind of self help book normally. (He'd been going to AA so I felt he grasped some of the concepts and I knew he felt the Catholic church & his homelife had messed him up.) I thought he might be receptive to this book.

I got a letter form him today and he asked my to write to you and thank you for the info in this book. He said he "can't find the words to express how great this book is." He said "now he understands how he got there, but most importantly he knows now what he needs to do about the mess his spirit is in, and has been all of his life". He said "your books reeks with the truth and answers what is wrong with all of us." Now he says "he knows what kind of help he needs." He is going to reread your book over & over. He said "this book has the answers he's needed."

He said your book has "really helped him & he would love to hear from you. He said everybody needs this book. He said it was so well written he has very few questions."

I don't know if you can/will write back to him but if you do I will pass on his address- well I guess you have it on the order . . .  I haven't had time to read the book but since I just started CODA meeting I will also read it soon.  Thank you so much for helping. It means more than you can imagine!"

"The audio version of that book was life-changing for me because it connected what i had been doing in CoDA with my spirituality! "

"Hi Robert, I have been reading your book The Dance of Wouned Souls and getting so much peace from it. I am also in recovery for 2 years and 5 months and all of a sudden about 4 weeks ago I realised how deeply unhappy I was inside and my insides were screaming at me.... It was very strange and extremely scary, I mean I thought that abstinance would maek ym childhood go away....  It didnt, and 2 years down the line I am just coming back from a huge rock bottom, your book has been helping me sooo much, it really gets to the core of where I am at right now and reminds me that I am loved and held by this universe and that the love and light is inside of me, no matter how I was treated as a child. I am going to buy your next one tomorrow and have been spreading the word about you to all who know me in recovery. We are truly blessed hey. I guess that sometimes though my illness is so loud that i dont see it and that is where the issues come. Either way... Thank you soooo much for sharing you esh with me. Your book was a God send for me. God bless"

"I just finished reading your book Codependence:The Dance of Wounded Souls. What an excellent read. Very helpful in my work with clients."

"I am so glad I found your website. I have never had an aha! moment like I did yesterday while reading about low self esteem and codependence on your website."

"I came across your website some time ago, and gained much from your writing.  Now, it's really struck home and I feel ready (is there really ever an option?) to peel back yet another layer.  Thank you so much for your generous, honest guidance.  For whatever it's worth, it has helped me a great deal."

"Just wanted to let you know I appreciate and am getting a lot out of your Joy to You and Me website. I keep it on my desktop at work and refer to it several times a day. Thank you for your insight."

"I wanted to let you know (even thought it is not necessary) I forgave my mother (she is the person who abandoned me at 12) in person. When I first started this whole process, I told myself that I wasn't going to even let her know about it because it was my journey, but eventually after all of these months, I realized that I also had a key to her healing of guilt. I felt that I needed to "release" her from that, that maybe that could initiate some healing of her own. I wrote a letter to just hand to her (I haven't seen or really even spoken to her in months). I was really nervous, but then, when I sat in front of her, it just felt right to look in her eyes and be honest with her any myself. It was awesome! I told her that I genuinely forgive her and she cried, I cried as well, that has NEVER happened with us. It was a beautiful moment of coming full circle with my issues. It was something I never would've seen happening 6 months ago! It was great. I don't even mind if she pursues a relationship with me or not, I just know I did the right thing for her and myself. I wanted to again say thankyou for all of your information that planted the seed for my exploration of my abandonment issues. I feel like a new person. Words cannot really do it justice what I feel internally. You are a great person for doing what you do. I looked for hours and hours and when I came across your site, I KNEW you were the person that had the answers I was looking for. I have shared your site with many people since. I really believe the way you deliver your information is so gently done that it is received effortlessly. Thankyou thankyou thankyou! Hope you have a perfect day, you are an amazing human being! Never forget that!"

"I have been doing a lot of reading on your website and let's just say- in a matter of a weeks time- all of your insight has helped me tremendously.  Thank you Robert! I am very thankful for coming across your site." 

"Your work has sustained me over a long period...I really want to thank you for the writing (book) which I re-read every once in awhile when the toxicity of my early life creeps back in to haunt my today life Namaste and many hugs"

"I found your web site last week after making a decision to re-visit my inner child healing work after taking a 10 year break from it. The material you have provided has been a very powerful tool for me to start my journey again. Thank you for having all this insight available in one place. "

"I'm glad that I found your site, as I haven't found yet better description of myself!  I have always been trying to find out what's wrong with me, and often ask this from people. I feel inferior to most people, intimidated by almost everyone.

On surface all is really well, and yo wouldn't believe how I feel inside. I look good, I have a large circle of friends, I'm starting to be successful in my music career, and praised for my talents constantly.  But some kind of basic confidence and connection to what I feel is missing. I realize now that nothing that's from outside, like achievements and people, can make me confident.

I think i have the victim mentality deep inside me. I had really strange childhood, being nurtured by my depressed grandmother, being used by my parents as cushion in their fights, bullied at school never learning to fight back.  Just reading your material has already made me understand myself better."

"I don't know who you are, but I ran across your website at a very pivotal moment in my life.  You are wise.  The universe works in wild ways.  I am forever changed by your words. Amazing!"

"Just finished ur book Dance of the Wounded Souls, great read, thanks for the insight, loving it big time."

"First of all thank you so much for being such a wonderful online resource to me over the past few years, your site has helped me 24/7 which is so helpful in between counseling sessions or when everyone else is busy with life or closed.

Today I logged on to your site again and was reading what you have on the decline of coda and I think you are so very right about what you say here.  I was in AA for 22 years, and out of 12 step altogether for the last 4 years.  I have been in personal counseling since I entered recovery in 1986, many people in AA told me I should not have gone beyond AA but I did anyway because I wanted to know the answers and the true solution.  In 2003 I started 4 years of personal counseling again and this time I found my inner child and 3 other children, it was at this time that 12 step programs became something that didnt fit into my world anymore.  I have been married 4 times, 2 times out of recovery and 2 times in recovery, I have been in many relationships and I am in one now.  I see where I am either the love addict or the love avoidant, which I am  right now in this relationship, but I keep plugging long.  I may not stay in this relationship much longer as they all become too confining for me even though this is probably the most healthy one I have ever been in but my wound is deep."

"I somehow, serendipitously found you on the web and your words resonated with me. I 'joyfully' journey through this valley of the shadow of codependency, something I learned at my mother's knee.  Thank you for being there when I most needed a reliable source of information and inspiration."

"Robert, My husband and I have both read your first book and are going to begin the second soon. It has been an invaluable resource for both of our emotional healing! I want to gift a copy to a dear friend"

"Thank you for helping me understand myself and what I needed to do to change myself. You are the bright start that guided me through trouble waters. Now everything is harmonious.  I am Eternally grateful to you "

"I just purchased your new book.  It is wonderful!   Keep up the good work.   I just ended an almost three year relationship with a charming gentleman.  With the help of your writing I was able to sort through when identifying what I learned from the relationship and comfort the hurt little girl in me that was affected by this relationship. Your work is invaluable to those of us seeking to establish firmly what is 'normal,' as well as people like me who have a very high level of tolerance for discomfort.  I relapsed and that is o.k.  I learn from my mistakes.
I am 70 1/2 years old.  A romantic and an open and generous giver as well as a person who lives in the moment but also lives a very organized life.  Mr. Charming Blue Eyes was disoriganized in every area of his life even putting material things before his own health.  He is stuck in an impossible financial situation and unable to move forward.  But that is his path and I know that life is unfolding exactly as it should and that all I need to do is show up and take care of myself.  Best regards to you and I am recommending your book to several folks I know.  I may purchase a copy for each of my three living children.  Maybe one day they will be ready to hear what you say so well. All best! " 

"I am a recovering co-dependent working as an addictions counsellor in northern Alberta, Canada.  Before I start my day, my heart wanted to reach to you with the love we share for our brothers and sisters in this earth that is so much heaven and so much hell. Your web site has touched and inspired me. I am so grateful for your work here."

"I came across your web page purely by chance tonight at the most important time of my life and wanted to thank you for your wonderful articles on Emotional Abuse, Boundaries etc. I began my journey back to me on my 56th birthday in January and have reached the wonder that I have been here all the time the past week but I have been struggling with the wording of setting my boundaries. I wanted to be clear, precise, not shouted down by my children, I wanted them to know that I have too much respect for myself to allow their disrespect which granted I had allowed for many years. Just tonight I sent my sister an e-mail asking if she had any input and the next thing your web page opened. Thank you. Thank you. From THE Africanqueen in South Africa my warmest regards."

"dear mr. burney, i love your work and the entire website. It is a fabulous addition to my on-line reading. it is the best work on co-dependence, spirituality that i've yet to find. thank ytou so much"

"You get it.  Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I just finished Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls. I'll be reading the rest of the series.  My journey started a few years ago. Your book is a wonderful guide for the truth we seek within ourselves. I have a long way to go but one step at a time."

"Thank you. Although I have always tried to learn from my past . . it was not until I read your article that I realised that all I was doing was constantly seeking that which is familiar to me no matter how damaging I knew it would be. Peverse comfort borne from a familar pain and one to which I now realise I constantly sought.
Although I do not know where I will now travel I can at least understand my journey to date. Enlightenment. . . my heartfelt thanks."

"I am the one who has found your website truly enlightening. I have read a lot of books on boundaries but didn't really understand what it meant til I read your books. I am getting ready to start a 12 week study group that is christian based to help you do your grief work. Could you please add me to your e-mail address. I think my husband's e-mail showed up because I bought it through his pay pal account. You are a real blessing and I have already been telling my friends about your awesome website."

"I have seen a number of therapists/counselors over the years, but have not learned as much about my situation as I did reading your website for about 6 hours during a sleepless night last week!

I ordered the second copy for my best friend who has been with me throughout so many struggles and does have some of her own.  When I told her about your website, she asked me to order her a copy so that she could support me as well as learn about how to deal with own codependencies. I realize it is now Sunday, so you would have already mailed them both.  She will be happy that you personally signed it for her, so for that, I thank you.

I found your website extremely informative and rather quite AMAZING!  It was so much to take in and I will be revisiting it often.  With that being said, I would love to be added to your email list for your website! :)  The fact that you freely share all of what you do on it is truly honorable and shows your willingness to make this world a better place in trying to help others with their lives/struggles.  Your personal testimonies and the information I read has already made a difference for me and I am truly looking forward to rolling my sleeves up and getting to work once your book arrives.

Thank you for your continued work in support for those of us who are still searching. "

"Thank you again for your help.  I have been sticking with your site and have learned how to navigate from the site index to the pages I am interested in reading.  I ordered your books today.  Do you have any suggestions on how much material I should read at once ??????  I don't want to get too far ahead and mess the program up.
Sir, God is helping me too.  He has been slowly showing me things, then when I read your pages, I get confirmation that I am in the right place.  I do not wish to trust any of this, but my heart knows it is time to take this journey.  Olds ways are not serving me anymore.  And I need to serve my God and help others on this planet instead of wallowing in WHAT I THINK I CANNOT DO.
Cannot imagine how much courage you had to muster to go through this process all by yourself.  I want you to know that I feel totally blessed of your efforts.  Because I have a written process to go through to help me understand.  And even though I am shaking in my boots cause I surely would rather go through this with someone, in my heart I know I am not alone.  My God, Jesus and Holy Spirit are with me always.
Be Blessed Robert !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Thank You for sharing a vast knowlegde upon the healing and recovery from co-dependancy. And much more. Enlightening times. Being benificial 2. Taking the power back myself, becoming empowered in this process to act, not merely just re-act. So thank you, and muchly!"

"I feel compelled as I sit here in some pain, healing pain i hope, to say thank you.  I was given your site some 7 years ago from a lady I met on a recovery chat group.  I've been a member of AA for just over 8 years.

Without going into my whole life story, I was abandoned in many ways as a child.  After being in AA for a time, just last year 2011 I reached yet another rockbottom in yet another broken relationship...This time however I decided to attend CODA meetings.   Anyways to cut a long story short I just wanted to thank you.  The information you offer and the way you express things just touch my heart and make me feel... well.. make me feel ok, that I am ok and that how i experience life is quite normal under the circumstances!  I have done some work around this but recently one of my most debilitating patterns of behaviour has reached the point where i can't live with it any longer... I love what I have read about not shaming myself about it.. It's really hard not to.. but i am turning the corner i think.

Again, I truly just wanted to say THANK YOU.  You have truly made a difference.  I've read many things, attended many meetings of various sorts and you hit the nail on the head.  Love and blessings to you and yours,"

"I wanted to see if this email was still active (got it from the back of the book) and let you know that I have read your book and it is helping me get through some very hard times in my life. I use it as my bible everyday of my life. I have highlighted paragraphs that I know help me to refocus on myself. I wanted to let you know I how much this book and you have impacted my life for the better. I cant thank you enough for helping others that truly need it. I am still in recovery process and healing but I see the light at the end of the tunnel when before all I saw was darkness." 

"I would just like to thank you SO much for helping me to turn my life around and HEAL.

I came across your website in 2006, desperately seeking help to understand myself and leave an abusive relationship of 17 years.

I purchased your books, but also printed off over 300 pages from your website and put them into a big folder into which I could make notes.

I have just reread through the folder, and was amazed at how far I have come and how those words of wisdom still apply, and felt myself refreshed and reminded of where I have come from. I have come SO FAR.

I now have a great job, am out of the relationship, love and believe in myself and have reconnected with my abusive father – in a positive healing way for both (I was able to give him your book to read eventually) as well as my 2 brothers who had not spoken to me for 20 years, as they had been told by my mother (deceased) that I was a compulsive liar when I tried to talk about the abuse and made the mistake of questioning why she had not protected me.

I had felt shame, hated myself, was clinging, co dependant, full of anger and grief, sick, and all internalized when I found your site. THANK GOD I DID

I did the healing work diligently and after 3 years, felt the changes begin to happen, as I regained my strength, got in touch with all those parts of myself, and began to put my shattered identity back together.

I had hated myself,  hated being here, being alive, felt full of fear, and not knowing how the hell to fix it. I just knew normal councellors couldnt help me.

Now I am very proud (and grateful) to say, I feel at peace most of the time. I feel ‘happy’ a lot of the time, and never ever knew what that felt like, and in fact didn’t believe people when they told me they felt happy.

I don’t need anyone to complete me, I have confidence in myself, I trust my inner guidance, I observe my reactions, and know that the child part of me is no longer driving.

I occasionally ‘fall off the perch’, but get back on much much quicker, in fact I think I was rarely ON THE PERCH before! :)

I am also a part of the fantastic cosmic changes, on the ascension path and have great friends.  THANK YOU SO MUCH"

"I have a year and two months sober after two years in aa......i've been drinking and druggin since a very young age, 10 years old.  I have been reading your pages a little every night. I do 6 meetings a week.the program is the best thing i have done for myself in my entire life, just showing up and sticking to it. I was hopless and helpless beyond my wildest imagination. I still have "issues" feeling sort of "victimish",mainly a víctim of myself and life. Fear also has been a factor that has stifled my life througout the years......thank God for what i have been learning as aa has been helping me to "see" so much more clearly.  Your pages are very very helpfull and on the money. Thank you for putting  them out there for people like me......life is slowly beginning to get real good and i can only imagine what the future will bring. Thanks to people like you who share what you have learned to help people like me........i didnt realize you were an aa untill i had been reading your stuff for a while......Im finally beginning to heal, slowly, but i never thought in a million years that i would be as"ok" as i am beginning to be.......thanksgivin you."

(December 25, 2011)

"I have followed your work from the beginning days. You probably don't recall because of the numbers of people you meet, but I worked for John Bradshaw in 1989,90,& 91, setting up workshops in California. I have probably all of his tapes from those days, but I think your work is far better. Thank you for what you have done for recovery."

"G'day Robert, Just felt the need to tell you that I can't leave you (your work) alone lol, Your words are now my driving force for life, and I thankyou again.  Discovering you on the internet is The Greatest Single Gift I have ever given myself :) :) :)"

"I've read your pages on your website.  I find them very helpful.  I believe that you have a "truth that sets people free"."

"This book has restored my faith in human nature and given me permission to take care of myself. After using it for many years there is always something new to learn. Bless you Robert."

"Your book was the first thing that ever opened my eyes to the my truth of my false/true self. Once I internalized the connection to my true/created self, my 30 year old "addiction" disappeared, almost overnight. That was a year and a half ago.  If I had not read your book when I did (2007), I may not even have been here now. Your work, my friend, has helped me beyond measure, and I am sure many others, too. "

"I love reading your articles about loving relationships! It has helped me get past some painful parts of my past."

"WOW! I just finished your book. Impressed…..Spirit gave me this saying early this year that (Everything in my life is perfect in perfect timing.) Agreed just not in my timing. How long does this take………..LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I plan on reading your book again and again. . . .Every page of your book has resonated with me. I highlighted things, but there really was no need to because all of it seemed like I could have written it. Thank you for doing it.  I appreciate your honesty. I have spent years reading the motivational books and feeling guilty for not doing it right, because what I did didn’t work to manifest what I wanted on the outside."

"Your work has been so important on my path and I am so grateful to get to read your posts on Facebook everyday. I hope you and your family are doing well."

"And thank you again for your guidance with "The Dance of Wounded Souls" book. It has helped me a lot and I appreciate all your posts here on FB and your websites."

"My life is going great, and I still feel that I owe alot of it to you and your pages of help."

"I just read your article on " Setting personal boundaries - protecting self".   I just wanted to say I found it very inspiring and informative. It gave me lots of hands-on tips on how to deal with a lot of "stuff" in my personal life at the moment. I really appreciate that you took the time to post it online."

"Thanks for sharing so much  -  your insights and your personal history - on your website!  Keep up the wonderful work!"

"My name is _______, and I am a recoving codependent of 7 years. I came in to al-anon when I was 21. My fiance was new in AA and suggested I go into Al-anon. For the first time in my life, I had realized what my "problem" really was. I was an adult child, a care taker and people pleaser. I was co-dependent. I found this to be a realief.  Before purchasing your book CODEPENDENCE:THE DANCE OF WOUNDED SOULS, I thought I knew about my disease and how much dis-ease it caused me. The great ness of your book greatness knocked the wind out of me! I didn't realize how much I didn't know! And I also remembered things that I had forgotten about my disease.

I liked how you described a God-force. I found this both politically correct, and able to put your reader at ease.  I also enjoyed how you used everyday terms and words to help describe the process of recovery. My favorite, IN-dependence. I never thought that freedom was more than just living in a free country, it meant to actually be free of judgement of yourself and others.  I just wanted to say thank you for writting such a wonderful book!"

"Your site alone is one of the most helpful I have come across. Everything you say MAKES SENSE! Thanks for doing what you do :) "

"I was up (again) at 3am due to intensity around resentment etc. and Googled some terms like "codependents in AA" and others. Your website kept coming up and I began to read. Thank you so much for your insight! I have been sober in AA for 12 years and worked thru the 12 steps a few years ago. It was only afterwards that I could accept my codependency. I have known something was still missing so I began to go to ACA and Alanon (Adult Child) meetings last week. How eye-opening. I never could have looked at any of it until my awakening - too painful. Now I am hungry for more information. Thank you for sharing everything with others"

"Hello Robert. I will keep this short. Thank you so much for doing what you are doing. I need to tell you that because since I have started reading your materials I have realized much of my life I was like a child spinning around thinking that the world was spinning. In reality it was me who was doing the spinning. I want to say to you that your courage and perspective has really helped me see things much, much clearer. I can only hope that you reach many more people. A thousand hugs from me to you."

"Hi Robert, I just found your site and find it is very helpful."

"Your website has been the greatest/best thing to come to me from the internet. I am currently on a spiritual journey learning to love myself, healing my inner child and overcoming co-dependence. Please keep up the good work."

"Your sharing made a difference in my life at a point in time when I needed to hear what you said. I'm too skint to give monetary gratitude, but wanted to say thanks anyway! I thank God for you and for your willingness to share you information freely on your website"

"Dear Robert,  I finished reading your book a few weeks ago and have wanted to thank you so much for writing it. It was truly beautiful and inspiring! It really helped me to define the journey I have been on with my inner child... It all began over a year ago when I found your Soul2Soul articles online (I don't know how I found them - I can just say it must have been divine timing or divine will.) I was so ready for them and they really shifted so much in me. I continue to work on the areas that need attention in my love relationship area - and your book really helped me to see the road I have been traveling on. Thank you so much for shining your light - and showing me the path."

"Thank You for your work. Your awareness and your sharing saved my life." 

"thank you so much for the help i have been receiving through your site for the last 4 or 5 ...I got important info about codependency through Melody Beattie and J. Bradshaw but your site was really the mirror of myself... Thank u so much for all i read there! It made me look at myself and my disease and finally face it with all my heart and the help of my dear therapist...God bless you and all your work that has improved my life so much."

"I just came accross your website i really enjoyed and need it thank you"

"I wanted to thank you so much for writing those articles. you really help me understand this whole process better and thank you for being so honest and open and helping me connect to you. "

"I just wanted to let you know that I love your joy2meu website and find the information incredibly helpful.  I love that you incorporate the metaphysical aspects and take it to a new level. Your experience and knowledge is totally enlightening and helpful on so many levels. So thanks so much for sharing what you know."

"I have just begun reading your words and I just want to tell you how much I connect to virtually everything that you say.  Thank you so much for writing these … as I continue to work through my intimacy issues, I am so glad that I have found this site to fall back on.  Thank you for making me feel not alone in all this!!!"

"I downloaded your E-Book last night, when I was desperately seeking knowledge and understanding of this Pain, I googled Emotional Healing and your site came up.  It is a great book and has helped me already - on so many levels. ROBERT - THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE."

"Fear of Intimacy The wounded heart of codependency - This is exactly me. Thank You."

"Hi Robert, Read your article Fear of Intimacy.  It's a really super and fabulous write up! Not only in content and writing but your style matches a Hesse or a Kerouac !  Extremely Impressive!  Congratulations on that ! :-)  Not writing for any specific reason, it was such a good read that letting you know its so good is the least I could have done!"

"Thank you Mr. Burney. Your book saved me from the depths of my dispair, and my life has new direction and purpose now. Blessings on you and your beautiful wife. I can never thank you enough."

"I have already read your book ( library copy ) and wanted my own copy and a copy i am donating to my codependency group. Your words spoke to me unlike most books i have read. I go to it daily. Thank you for helping me as i try and find my way in this experience called life."

"I wanted to email you and tell you how much I love what you have done with your site."

"I read your book last year and so many of your words of wisdom stick with me. Your book and website have been a huge help to me in understanding more about myself and my codependent relationships. My divorce will be final tomorrow, after a spiritual journey and awakening that started last July. You are an angel, Robert. I am forever grateful." 

"First, I want to thank you. My whole life I have wondered what is wrong with me. I came across your website yesterday and it has had such a profound on me. Reading your words it was like you had watched me growing up, like you were there taking notes. It has simply been liberating. To know that feeling ashamed of myself is not my fault, that I am giving others power over my self-worth and that is like dipping a straw into whatever is in front of you. If I have a glass of disappointment in front of me, I am going to drink some disappointment and it's going to be inside my body. Only it is in my mind. And it has been killing me. I can't put into words what it was like to actually feel for once. It felt great! There is no shame in feeling great, if there was, it wouldn't be great. I have been going through a rollercoaster of emotions the last couple of days, and it feels like a weight that has been suffocating me for 28 years has finally been lifted off. I am a lovable person and I chose not to be ashamed. I know this is a journey and not a destination, but to know that this is something I can work through is one of the greatest feelings I have ever felt. Thank you so much again. You really have made a lasting impact on my life. Thank you."

"I have almost finished reading your book.  It is an awesome book and I know I will read it many times. Thanks so much."

"I've done a lot of Bradshaw work over the years - But this book came at the right time for me, thank you Robert for your amazing book, truly tear jerking stuff and healing for me on this ongoing journey, I love the Native American mention of the Great Spirit too :-) Blessings !!"

"it is so amazing to find a person who puts my thoughts or prethoughts into the concepts. I am not an alcoholic, and could never be, but what I realized is that the crippling misconceptions that I have had about myself would probably express themselves as addictions/alcoholism or other disorders if I were another person.I am amazed at the prolificacy of your writings. it is an eery feeling to see my ideas mirrored in another person's views .  Good luck with you message, and I hope more and more people will read it on the web.  when I was a teenager I decided to read as many books as I could to get as much wisdom as there was accumulated throughout the centuries of written word. the sole goal: to be wise and not to make mistake. but I realized 20 years later is that it all came from the fear of a failure  and how empty it feels now to have been  afraid of making a mistake all these years; that fear of being  shamed actually robbed me of opportunities to take chances and testing myself.  when you are cautious with  your every step  you start doubting your every decision. anyhow  let us all spread wings and just fly, without fear of falling and use our human emotions as muscles to keep us afloat."

"I really appreciate you putting so much information out on your website, etc... it is awesome. I was clueless ( well still am ) about codependency. I thought it had a different meaning than what you say it is."

"Hey Robert, discovering you on my journey last year was a turning point in my life. I appreciate all you have done to help me and others."

"Have been reading your web pages. How amazing. Again Thank you."

"I’ve been reading your site and find it so very interesting, and I must say it almost knocked me over. How I found it was by typing in google Why am I attracted to alcoholics. To have someone else express some of my feelings in such a way that  can be understood by even me.  I’ve always had trouble expressing what’s inside of me, being afraid I would not be understood, or not be able to express it in such a way that others wouldn’t be able to connect with what I was saying.  My head feels like a jumbled up mess so much of the time,  I’m afraid to even  express myself to the man in my life.. Sometimes I think I’m going crazy with all the chatter that goes on inside of me, but reading your stuff made me realize I’m doing the dysfunctional dance you so eloquently describe.. Thank you for the dim light you have shed on my journey to finding myself."

"I'm enjoying reading you articles and find them very enlightening."

"i got your book and loved it." 

"You have touched my heart with your wisdom. I love your website & I am finally beginning to heal ...my inner child. Thank you doesn't even seem to express how grateful I am to have found your words. May you be blessed!"

"Your writings have validated what my mentor has been teaching me and what I have been going through so many times. My co-dependency issues in my relationships with women are all identified in your writings. Thank you for sharing your gift"

"I LOVE your website articles!  Oh, what passion and honesty!"

"just waned to say another Thankyou, you're teachings have turned my world around for good x :) :) :) Loving Life.......................and Loving Myself"

"I so appreciate your book and writings. Thank you for staying on course and helping us do it too!"

"I cannot began to thank you enough for the insight and knowledge you have provided on your site.  I have reached an age where life has become a burden of hidden truths, a basket filled with material gain but no substance. Feeling deflated and hollow to the very core of my existence I had planted a seed for the need of an external emotional shift. (relationship) I am married and have two wonderful children, my husband a simple but kind man is left floundering in my need to expose my inner truths. Life to him is directed by the belief in god, therefore his direction never waivers. Funny how religion and our belief systems direct ours ego based level of content or discontent. I myself, always one to color outside of the lines, attempted, and reattempted to find a solid understanding of my core.  When the choice was given on immediate gratification I declined, the journey on the road there was  in essence a source of healing, and I was very aware that the act itself would provide no long term gain, but feelings of regret, shame and once again worthlessness.  Living in a small country town in northern ____ shared understanding of the internal conflicts of one’s own mind becomes very isolating. Without the mirror of validation to the emotion growth and journey I feel I am compelled to take I am often feeling the insane effects of my society and it`s limited scope. You have validated my core existence that to desire for more in life is in fact a rare but wonderful gift of few. For I am not alone."

"Its due to your literature that i am enjoying life to the fullest these days."

"your website is amazing and i am so thankful that you are here. you have help my life just in the website info alone! I want to share the book with my family as soon as i get my copy. they might not read it but it is worth a try. I pray this info gets out to many people. its funny how we can get away from the truth of ourselves when we get distracted by crazy thinking."

"I love your work and find it very important, meaningful, healing, and helpful.  I can relate to a lot of your experiences and insights."

"I love your codependent recovery pages, especially about emotional honesty and gender."

"Thanx for your inspirational writing, I'mm recommending you to everyone on 'In the Rooms""

"i am definately a fan. your approach has been enlightening and i feel so empowered now whereas i always felt misunderstood."

"I found your website at a crucial time. Thank you for sharing your insight and offering valuable lessons."

"your website is amazing and i am so thankful that you are here. you have help my life just in the website info alone! I want to share the book with my family as soon as i get my copy. they might not read it but it is worth a try. I pray this info gets out to many people. its funny how we can get away from the truth of ourselves when we get distracted by crazy thinking. lots of love and appreciation"

"Your website is rich and awesome.  Your website materials has been of immense blessing. Pls I have an unusual request. I have searched everywhere for your book, 'Codependency, Dance of wounded souls' but can't find it. I don't think it is in my country, Nigeria.  I am just coming out of 43 years of abuse - 32 with my father and 11 years in marriage. The similarity in their acts was initially strange to me but your site really made me understand a lot of things. That is the source of my deep hunger for your book. I will surely keep in touch. Pls see me as one of the lives your touched in a unique way and i still have tons of questions for you." 

"I am a Chinese, I translated some of your works in your website, and gave them to a woman in our church and some Chinese people in sex and love addited anoymous and co-dependence anoymous fellowship. We Chinese in the two fellowships like the information so much and we need the material about it. I am in the translation commitee of slaa(sex and love addicted anoymous) now,to translate the material which i am interesting into Chinese . . "

"A month ago, I began to read the stuff on your site, healing the inner child.   I have to say I really really like your essays. I am feeling more and more free and brave.  Thank you very very much.  Keep up with your good work.

I also hope more and more people can read what you write and be free from the fear and false believe.  I live in China."

(February 21, 2011)

"Mr. Robert you ROck! Really nice of you for sharing your knowledge and helping those people that may be confuse of how or what they really feel...I am myself too is learning from YOU, been reading your post here in FB (meaning Facebook), your really an expert, so amazing you know all of this ....God bless you and your family always."

"I just wanted to thank you for all the great info you have been posting here on FB. The posts have been so helpful to me and I greatly appreciate your sharing them."

"Mr. Burney, I love the way you put the hardest feelings and patterns in simple forms and make it easier  for me to understand what I am struggling with. You simply act like a decoder. Thank you"

"I just finished your book and I cannot even come up with the words to express how much I LOVED it!  I recently decided I needed to talk to a therapist and was about half way through your book at the time.  She told me that she thought I would benefit from going to Al-Anon and a 6-week co-dependency class (I went to my first Al-Anon meeting last Tuesday and today will be my first co-dependency class).  I showed her your book because when I was talking to her some of the things she said reminded me of what I was reading in your book. She said it looked like a really good book and took down the title of the book and your name. I just wanted to say that everything I read in your book resonated with me SO much. I just want to tell everybody about it. GREAT book. Thank you for writing it."

"It is a great year now that I know how to love myself and not shame myself... Your writings changed my life!!! Thank you for that too :)"

"I had stumbled across your website on googling the fear of intimacy and then discovered what you had to say about codendency and it has really opened up a new understanding of human behaviour and mine in particular. Am enjoying reading what you have to say, makes sense to me in so many ways that I had never before truely realised.
I have always felt that everything is connected, everything is something and everyone is someone and I thought I was getting to know myself pretty well in my life, I am grateful for the life I have and the people I have in my life. I wake up most days and go outside look up to a blue sky with the warmth of the sun on me, birds are singing and I think life really is beautiful and I have always welcomed change good or bad because I know that means that I am growing and learning.
Over the last few years I have been working out the source of a lot of my issues but didn't really understand how to deal with them. I have always thought I was a pretty honest person but after reading what you have to say I have realised that I haven't really been truely honest in a conscious way. The controlling, manipulation, I can see it now in my behaviour whereas I didn't see it before I started to read the pages on your website. And although I have only just started to read your stuff,  I feel already like Joy2MeU has given me a new opportunity to learn about mine and others behaviours and hopefully help me to live a more honest, conscious life!
There is a lot to take in about what you are saying so I am reading lots and i think I am getting it, sometimes I have to read and read again for it to sink in but your words are giving me a new outlook, now I just got to work at putting what you are saying into action."

"My dearest sister sent me the link to your website at a very critical time in my life and it has been the blessing.  Thanks for your wonderful writings and your honesty, we are all on a journey and it is our responsiblity to make it as peaceful and wonderful as possible."

"Hello Robert, I been reading a lot of your work and it's amazing how is helping me. Thanks a lot!"

"Thank you so much for your work and your courage to share your truth.  It has helped me on my journey, helping me to cross my bridge.  Last night I sat in the parking lot at the grocery store and cried because I knew I couldn't walk into that store one more time and buy another Reeses Peanut Butter Cup... I had to face my pain.  Today is the first day I have felt calm in what seems like a lifetime.  I've crossed a bridge into new territory and am ready to learn a new way of processing my life and my past with love.  Thank you for your guidance."

"I needed to contact you and let you know how much I appreciate your ability to express what needs to be heard. I have been reading your words for the last hour and they resonate deeply. I feel nourished by what you are saying and how you say it.  You are a gift and I am grateful to have found you today."

"Your work is amazing!  I have been spending the morning on your website.  I think you are an amazing writer and being.  I stopped drinking alcohol in 1983, and have struggled with co-dependency issues for all of my life.  I am in a six months duration relationship and the issues are starting to come up.  I am hoping to use your websites wisdom as a starting point and inspiration for my partner and I to work through the challenges of our relationship."

"I just discovered your web site tonight when I "Googled" the term, Healthy Boundaries in dealing with my own issues of co-dependence, "etc."  Throughout my adult life I've done a lot of searching for spiritual "recovery" concepts through Christianity, counseling, 12-step programs and the like.  Often information can be disjointed and fragmented, even from some of the "healthiest" of sources that I have found.

I must say that I appreciate your web site, Joy2MeU, and will refer to it often in the future.  It offers a wealth of information with clarity and conciseness and, for the most part, is unbiased from a religious perspective.  That will help me as I work with atheists and agnostics alike.  As a Registered Nurse in grad school to become a Family Nurse Practitioner, I am seeking ways to integrate healthy psychological principles into my education for a holistic view of healing.  Though I tend to consider myself to be a fairly conservative Christian (Non-denominational), I know that rigidity can undercut a program of recovery every time.  Spiritual warfare wreaks havoc in our lives on a moment-by-moment basis. 

I see you are a grief therapist as well.  The past year has been an upheaval of my routine, guided by the hand of God, and ultimate passing of my mom as I took care of her through Hospice in my home.  I am on a spiritual journey in the truest sense.  The Caribbean Cruise looks like a great and fun opportunity to add to that journey, but I don't have anyone to share a cabin with!  I will pray on that issue.  Thank you for your web site and resources.  It will be shared as I move forward in my own recovery and as I help others."

"I read, Dance of Wounded Souls, and i think its the best book about codependency ive ever read. I love your Joy2MeU website."

"I wanted to tell you is that while I have had a copy of your book for awhile, I just listened to the audio version while on a road trip and it has had a profound effect on me...thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insights. It has changed the course of my life, or at least (and at best!) my perception of it. Thank you!" 

"It was not a coincidence that I came across your work 3 days ago...Your words of wisdom and experience dug right through my pain and opened up my heart to receive your message. It has helped me see my situation in a new light....I could only imagine how much more enlightenment I will receive once I purchase the book. Once again thanks for being vulnerable and real and sharing your knowledge."

"When I read what you have written I find myself saying 'I knew that all along', 'I knew that felt right and made sense'. You seem to be confirming what I believe but did not know how to access the help. I trust over time I will be getting the perfect help, support and guidance. I shall just have to accept what is offered every day, (as the universe will look after me) and know that I one step closer to my recovery."

"You don’t know what a huge influence your ideas and philosophies have been in my life. You are good man and it always gives me a lot of hope listening to you."

"Thank you for your articles. This morning, I was searching for the word "Tough love", seeking self help, and or an incentive, mainly a mental strength, in reacting to a Son, who once again, and continually, falls into the descriptions of Self Destructive behavior, I also found the words, Enabling, Co-dependent, and Rescuing - applying to me.  I mainly want to Thank you for your articles,, they helped."

"I want to thank you for writing down all this information and wisdom about healing, and providing it to people free of cost on top of that.  I'm 28 and have been trapped inside myself for as far back as I can remember.  I was born into a family, that had no idea that I existed as a seperate person. They still don't get it.
Your website gives me hope, gives me landmarks on my journey and brings me back to the reality that recovery is indeed a process, and takes place over time. Just wanted to share my gratitude, and the best to you."

"Thank you for providing so much wonderful information for healing and growing!  I am excited to continue on my journey of recovery and healing."

"I am finding your website valuable and hope inspiring.  I have been studying and trying to integrate spiritual information for years, only to gradually feel more tired and depressed.  After reading the first page on your site, it made clear to me what I was starting to realize:  that I've been burying my feelings more and more, while adding layers of forced positive thinking and always trying to substitute higher thoughts whenever "negative" feelings arose.   I hope to clarify with further reading of your material, how to be human and accept feeling everything, while still trying to create a better reality and not stay stuck in feelings and beliefs.   Thank you for your insight and work."

"You helped me see more clearly how I can make this journey of life more enjoyable for me. I have bought your book and am now reading it. Your words have brought a Truth into my life that will help me stop being codependent and enjoy life. You are truly a sage.  Thank you,"

"I have been working on my own inner child(ren) for the last little while... and yesterday I was thinking about setting personal boundaries... I did a search on Google and when I saw the name of your company Joy2MeU I had to click on it.

I believe in synchronicities and I know that my Guides lead me to your page. Of course I read the Setting Personal Boundaries article and then switched over to the Inner Child Healing work you have posted. It was very helpful to me. I did order your book last night...  I just wanted to say thank you for sharing all that information and wisdom with the world. I am grateful for connecting with you."

"Thank you so much for your inspiring website on healing childhood wounds."

"So first I would like to say thank you for all of the insight available on your website. I feel I was defiantly guided to the info. by something GREATER than chance. I keep feeling that things are signs. I feel the vibrations ;)  I also am having (preminitions) ??? just not sure yet how to make the best of all of this. Everytime I'm feeling someone will give me feedback as you got @ the end of your 30 day stay in the rehab.  I'm told I need to spend money . which I've got no prob spending money if it's available but what if it isn't ?  I'm truly thrilled to read more and share the info I'm learning."

"Its was on 28 july 2007 you sent me your book The Dance of the Wounded Souls.........................inside you wrote _____ I hope you enjoy my book and find it helpful in your recovery journey.  I would like to thank you Robert as this book did play an important part in my recovery. It opened up new channels of thought and i still re read it.

Before I discovered your book I was in a very dark place emotionally, so much so that i really thought I was never going to come through it, I was drinking every night and was so ill i couldnt even move from the house. My children suffered as a result and it was as bad as it gets, I would just like to say that the new found freedom i have found in recovery has been worth every single day of emotional pain and i feel eternally grateful that i kept on and never gave up. I realise that its an ongoing process but thank god i found your book . Thank you" 

"I just want to thank you for the gift of your writings – for sharing your insights.  What you express (both in your book and on the website) resonates with me.  It gives me a perspective that not only makes sense, but fills many gaps in my previous understanding of the human condition.  I always felt that the information I had on the inner child, the twelve step program and codependence was somehow incomplete or distorted.  Intuitively, what you express feels “right”.  This came to me at the perfect time (of course), and I am excited to explore these ideas further and to advance my own personal healing."

"I am in South Africa and your website is my lifesaver. I am finally on the way to recovery. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are amazing."

(October 30, 2010)

"You are blessed with a wonderful gift of clarity in helping others with your writings and I am most grateful for your websites over the years.  I cannot tell you have many friends as well as clients I have referred to your site.  Thanks for being so very human and thanks for sharing.  I know your work has made a difference in many lives.  It has in mine."

"I just wanted to let you know how much reading your book and workbook (not actually a workbook, a booklet: Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing) has helped me. I haven't started doing any of the "work" yet, as far as the writing goes, but just the reading has helped so much. My way of thinking has already drastically changed. I've had a lot of genuinely good days lately, and I'm just all around happier. Thank you. . . . But no matter how hard I tried to put it in words, I couldn't. You did that for me. Reading the words on your web page and some things out of your book, it was as if you have been sitting in a corner of my mind my whole life, and put it in all in writing. As un-nerving as that sounds, it actually brought me a lot of comfort. Just having an understanding of why I am the way I am, why I feel the way I feel, and what exactly it is that I'm feeling, has helped me to not feel so "different" and alone. It's helping me to be more accepting of myself. And just that alone, well, I'm sure you understand. I can never say thank you enough."

"First of all, let me say - I am a big fan of your work. I've been a frequent follower of your website for sometime now, I got so much out of your INNER CHILD HEALING booklet & cannot wait to listen to the audio version of your book.

I am a 40 year old recovering ACOA / Co-Dependent / Alcoholic / Workaholic (etc., etc.) from Central New Jersey. Since I've been in recovery I have become familiar with much of John Bradshaw's work (read many of his books and purchased / viewed many of his DVD's), read a lot of Alice Miller, Melonie Beattie, Janet Woititz, attended Ann Smith's Breakthrough Program @ The CARON Foundation. All of this work, collectively and respectively have been extremely helpful to me and my recovery journey.

However, I want to honestly let you know that perhaps more so than any of the above mentioned therapists / authors, your work and your particular method and style has been what I relate to and resonate with most. I am especially grateful to you for the fashion by which your work is helping me actually integrate the "intellectual information" into my personal healing process. I've found your suggestion(s) regarding honoring, loving, nurturing, and cherishing the portions of my being, my psyche, and/or my "soul" which I had previously been "hiding from", in / with shame - for so, so, so long. The "inner boundary" work which you explain so very clearly makes so much sense to me. Perhaps most importantly, your "spiritual emphasis" on this work / this healing process works wonderfully for me!"

"I've read your book at least 20 times Your a brilliant & inspiring writer. You have made a great difference in my outlook. Many thanks"

"Having just recently discovered your web sites, and having become a "Facebook Friend" I find myself reading and re-reading your process(es) and thoughts that you share.  As you are aware, your writings have been so helpful to many, and myself in particular. I have just completed reading your article "God the Father and my father" and your breakthrough epiphany. The honesty with which you composed this piece is so beautifully courageous - I admire your resolve and commitment to your recovery- and am blessed by your sharing.

You write in such a personal manner and with such honesty, from a space of strength and not shame. In the "mystical" way, I feel your personal presence and that you truly are a friend. Your consciousness transcends and is in the present as we read. So intriguing. You probably will be hearing more from me as I progress along the path and read more of your writings. Thank you for sharing."

"Finding your website was a miracle!"

"I have the cassettes of your book. I listen to them every night whilst falling asleep. I must have listened to them 100s of times. They are a very important and valuable part of my healing journey." (I responded to this person that I don't have the cassettes any more but do have an MP3 audio download that can be put on an iPod or whatever.)

"Just finished your book…wow, it’s truly an amazing act of grace when the right information comes at just the right time. Thank you for writing this book! I am in alignment."

"I just ordered your trilogy and I am so excited to get it.  I discovered your web site about a week and a half ago and have been reading pages of it every day since then.  I do understand the internal problem you deal with regarding how much information you provide for free vs. paying rent every month.  I have a marketing background so I do understand where the well-meaning marketing people have told you that it's "crazy" to offer so many pages for free.
I felt compelled to write you just now to thank you for making so much of your information free.  Here's why:  I didn't order any of your materials the first day I found your website.  It has taken me reading your material every day for over a week and already having my mind blown over and over again and saying "Oh my God" at least 100 times while reading; it has taken a week and a half of me reading, and crying, to realize that yes, in fact I did have a sad childhood and there's nothing wrong with me, I didn't do "this depression" to myself, it's not my fault, etc.  To learn how to be loving to myself and my inner children.
In a way, it was a little scary to order your material because I think I felt on some level that by buying it, I was acknowledging my childhood and just how wounded I am.  I have spent my whole life (I'm 28) trying very hard to block it all out and never look back.  I am so grateful for the events that led me to your website.  I am grateful to you for writing the words about it's not just "only" emotional abuse and also about how this is not self-help because I have God with me and I am not alone.  I think another thing holding me back is my codependency; wondering what my parents would think about me ordering it, am I making a "good" decision, etc.
It's taken me reading A LOT of your material to get to a place where I am able to do the most loving thing for myself, which is: let go of the outcome of if it's a good decision, let go of getting my parents advice about ordering it, being less afraid to go to the dark places (having gone to some already this week through reading your web pages), and generally feeling like I deserve to order it so that I can continue to heal, feel better, and love myself more.
Thank you from the botton of my heart and God bless you!"

"You've made my world and our world a better place."

"Your words really helped me.  I now have a better understanding of myself and my feelings and therefore I think it will be easier for me to release the pain I have had inside me for such a long time.  I wish you all the best both in your personal and your professional life.   You are making a great contribution to all human beings who get in touch with you."

"i want to thank you so very much for the resource yr website offers. i visit it at critical times. at times when the pain feels overwhelming. you see i am healing -- currently in the recognition and early recovery stage -- from my childhood emotional and physical abuse.  you describe exactly what i am going through -- and what i can expect as i grow. yr writing is not only so affirming and helpful, its also a beautiful expression of human empathy and consideration for others which is a greatly appreciated counter-balance to all the anger and abuse i have known ...

i thank you. i don't know you -- you don't know me -- but you helped make my living more authentic."

"I have read Roberts books and they are amazing! Such insight!"

"Dearest Robert,
    I am saying dearest because at this time there is no one closer to my heart than you are. You mailed my book on Tues. I received on Thurs. afternoon, and we spent the day together on Fri. I can honestly say I have never had anyone or anything speak to my soul the way you did. You were right on target (as you well knowSmile emoticon). Please know I have a library of books, some are ones you recommend reading, I been workin this rodeo for well, let's just say 50 plus years now. I have just never been able to connect the dots. I feel pretty good about it all at this point because of the work I have already done. I know the facts, now all I have to do is put them together and change the perspective on it all. I do know there is plenty left to do, but I now have the path, thanks to you. . . . Thanks to you and your God gifts and that you would share them with the world. Can't tell you how much I appreciate it." 

"I love your book and I will share it with as many people as I can."

"Firstly , allow me to thank you from the bottom of my heart and in appreciation for the work you do.  I bumped into your web site about 4 years ago and that was when I learned about my ‘inner child’ and its wounds."

"After spending time on your website I am now aware I can facilitate my own healing process, which has already begun. Incredible stuff though very painful at times. Thanks for posting so much information on your website. It has made a major impact on me already. I think you are very brave. And honest. God bless you."

"This blows my mind. I couldn't put my finger on what was going on and you have completely put it into words and explain it extremely well. . .  I was feeling lonely, so I googled about loneliness and it said main cause is feeling worthless and unlovable.. so I realized I had to Google feeling unlovable and that's how I came across your page somehow. . . . your codependency article is right on point.  The way you teach and describe things.. You pay so much attention to detail and you are very thorough and I appreciate it so much. You were actually able to get all of that and put it into words and it is exactly what I have been searching for. My therapist was trying to teach me this stuff but I couldn't understand what she was talking about.. I'm trying to snuff that dang critic in there man.. that one is so freaking mean and what a pain in the ass. When you said to tell it to fuck off I died laughing.. lol. I really really appreciate your work Thank you very much."

"I wanted to mention that in addition to finding your book enjoyable and helpful, I also found the ebook Inner Child Healing to be excellent. (This is now available in spiral bound booklet) I really resonated with your candid sharing of your own situation, and it really helped to know you have been as wounded as so many of us in recovery.  In other words, if you can find the light, then it makes it believable for myself and for others who are looking to get to that destination."

"Hi. I love your website. Thank you for sharing this truth!"

"Hello, old friend. I was making a referral to you, someone who needs that kind of special healing, and I thought of my own journey, so I told her all about you... Found you're alive and well, and still bringing us the message... Great to hear about the workshops, bet they are as fulfilling as ever. Sending you love, oh mighty healer..."

"I really enjoy your writing, as it has opened my (blind) eyes to being codependent.    look forward to meeting you, and learning your path to higher living.  You have inspired and guided me to want to help others like me, hopefully at an earlier age, to tame this kitten in a tiger suit.  No one should have to live this way."

"Don't Lose Your Inspiration! You are Light to the dark."

"Robert, you sent me your book many years ago to use in my practice.  I am 76 now and retired.  But I want you to know that I loaned your book to hundreds of people.  You are the most courageous open, straight and honest psychotherapist I have ever known and I pray that you will be able to continue your work.  You have been a great blessing to me as well as to numerous clients of mine. Sending you prayers and energy to bring us both abundance.  God knows you deserve it."

"I can honestly say that your work has made an impact on my life like nothing else ever has" 

"I appreciate your website, and the courage that you have displayed by sharing so much of your journey with the world.

In contrast to much of the literature on Codependency, Relationship Addiction, etc. you have done a remarkable job of dispelling the stigma associated with these conditions.   I appreciate how you repeatedly and gently tie all aspects of your writing back to some universal, cultural, and spiritual commonalities in the human condition, thus making the information accessible and applicable.  It is probably quite deliberate on your part, but the delivery is VERY GENTLE for people that struggle with these issues.  So a word of THANKS!"

"Thanks for sharing your spiritual experience in understanding codependency."

"I've done a lot of research on co-dependancy both reading books  and on-line.   Your website is a great resource to have when recovering from co-dependancy.  Unlike some of your eminent colleagues you are prepared to share your resources freely  with those who need them.   No doubt you will be blessed for this!"

"After purchasing your ebook, you have confirmed so many things that been heavy on my mind for years. Your book feels like you have been observing ME very recently with the exact same drama that you have written about. It  is wonderful to know that my thoughts are not alone and that there is a means to to find the happiness that we all strive for. Thank you very much. Honestly, I feel that you have saved my life."

"I have downloaded the book successfully and am thoroughly immersing myself in your in-depth analysis in part 1. Powerful stuff! Admittedly, I’m a “recovering codependent” and still discovering/revealing blind spots. I thank you for your wealth of information, already it is resounding deeply within my soul. I look forward to breaking patterns and healing/grieving toward wholeness."

"Robert, you are a divine Messenger whom God has sent to us on Planet Earth. Thank you for being available and helpful and wise. It is amazing that you wrote so many pages about various subjects that are all related to each other and to how Human Being works." 

"I happened on to your article pertaining to the fear of intimacy today.  WOW. I am 52 years old, and for the first time in my life, I read words of a stranger about the story of my life. . . I wanted you to know your words have given me hope – something I previously thought was a luxury afforded to deserving people, not people like me."

"You have been an inspiration to me and to many others. Your life's work is a legacy that will last for a long time to come! God is watching you and guiding you and thinks you are truly precious no matter what is happening."

"Thank you so much for the help i have been receiving through your site for the last 4 or 5 days...I got important info about codependency through Melody Beattie and J. Bradshaw but your site was really the mirror of myself... Thank u so much for all i read there! It made me look at myself and my disease and finally face it with all my heart and the help of my dear therapist...God bless you and all your work that has improved my life so much..."

"Through my desire to find healthy boundaries I found your site.  The best site ever. . . Your insights and spiritual guidance has been a great treasure in my life and I am really grateful for your process and your healing that lead u to help so many."

"I have recently stumbled upon your site and all your columns and posts about codependence and intimacy issues and I must say your story has really touched me and resonated with me on such a level, it's wonderful! In fact, I loved your articles so very much that I am definitely going to buy your book for my own personal issues that I am aware that I have at this point in my life."

"I wanted to say a special thankyou for your ebook.  I read it thoroughly and will reread it again.
Your book has certainly been very helpful to me.  It reinforces the absolute necessity to let go of shame and guilt.  Everytime I am aware of feeling shame about something it's an opportunity to also ask where did that belief about myself come from.  Was it true back then, and is it true now?  Invariabley the answer is no.
Since I emailed you with my question about caving in under pressure I have learnt from your book to honour my internal boundaries that have been weak.  This means I need to be very aware of those people who have a tendency to play the role of the bully.  They're the ones that will keep on showing up in my life until I have learnt to be assertive and protective of my boundaries.  It's so conscious in me now that I'm sure I have learnt, and will not go unconsicous in the future if a situation arises."

"Thank you so much for the personal response to the email I sent you. It means a lot. And thank you for the information on what is available on the web site vs. the books. I have found that I have spent 3 different nights lost in your pages just reading... Taking it all in. It's almost as if I have an unquenchable thirst and your words are water."

"I enjoy your literature and love the healing steps you offer.  I have benefited from them greatly."

"First of all, I want to say thank you, Robert, for everything that you've done. I am 38, and have been hit hard lately with the effects abuse I endured as a child. I'm not the type of person to sit back and say, "poor me, look what happened to me, and now this is how I am because of it." I'm more the type to say, okay, this is what happened, I'm tired of how it's affected me, and I want to do whatever I can to heal, so I can experience some happiness, and enjoy a healthy loving relationship that I believe I deserve!". I have read a lot of information on a lot of different sites, but your site is the only one that actually tells you how you can heal. And it comes from a place of true understanding, and is written with compassion, and for that I cannot thank you enough."

"I have read several of your posted articles online and found them,  very encouraging. thank you for sharing your life's experiences and your journey and helping other people to find peace and joy and love."

"I do not know how I stumbled upon your website, however this is the first time in my life someone could explain to me what Codepency is and what the ramifications look like. It explains everything about where I am at right now and trying to understand where I want to go. I always hear cliche's of oh..you just need to let go.. you just need to forgive your mother....etc... It has never been explained or described to me this way...In a way where I am beginning to understand the relationship to myself. "

"I've been reading your website over the past few weeks and find it EXTREMELY HELPFUL as a resource as I now pursue inner child healing after many years of cognitive/behavioral therapy."

"I have been glued to your website ever since I somehow got directed to it in my never ending search for help and advise regarding the current "isolationship" I'm finding myself in after 15 years of marriage to an emotional unavailable man "with a vengeance"....I am fascinated at your discoveries and eye-opening realities of life and relationships with one-self and one another. Knowing what you believe is not just a "feeling" of mine but obviously has some kind of truth behind it, affirms my doubts and thoughts about weather or not my current relationship really is worth hanging on to or better to let it go. More so I finally feel I have some tools to end my own needless suffering once and for all...learning about my disease of codependence and the healing I can do for myself instead of waiting to be somehow healed by somebody else!"

"I do not (yet) own your book, but from what you've generously allowed to read over  website, I have put a recommendation on a Forum of a very spiritual, global Portal: lightworkers.org  I hope many people will buy your book, it is helping me so much. thank you, Be Blessed! Yours, ____ in Queretaro, Mexico."

( From Switzerland)  "I was very upset last Sunday and I found your writing with these words : "We have spent our lives triying to protect ourselves from a lie about who we are, we have spent incredible energy in our lives trying to keep the toxic shame hidden. The secret thas is killing us and has made our lives miserable, the secret we have lived in reaction to - is a lie...." !!!!  I cannot explain how these words transformed me, it was magic, suddenly I felt relieved and lighter as if a heavy burden had fallen out of my shoulders, it was suddenly clear to me that my being was not defectuous any more, that I was born "normal" like anyone else, my brain is working OK, my capacity of understanding is OK, I have no defection. If I make mistakes, I can improve and do better next time. It occurrs to everybody to make mistakes. There is a possibility of improvement when you seperate Being from Behaviour - as you have explain it. I have understood that my being is OK, this is really a great relief to me. Shame has no more reason to stay in me, there is nothing shameful in me, nothing to hide from others, the bad secret is gone. . . . My life has already changed since I read your writing last Sunday. Although I haven't understood everything and I don't know exactly what Codependency means and how it is related to fear of intimacy, I feel better now. And I trust that it will go on to improve if I keep caring for my emotional wounds.


(June 15, 2010)

"I think Robert Burney is the wisest man on FB (meaning Facebook)...and if you haven't read his book you are missing a treat and a liberating read!"

"It is such a delightful honor and appreciation of gratitude to find you on facebook and be counted among your fans.  Your courageous work of intuitive knowledge and connection to The All that Is restored my faith in a path and pattern, whether or not it can be understood in any moment.  Thank you."

"Thanks for sharing. Your book has saved me and I am so thankful for your facebook page I read it daily and get encouraged to be healed and grow from the dysfunction I have survived and enjoy your wisdom and thoughts every day!"

"I think so many people have a mis-understanding of what codependence actually is. Robert, your website, Joy2MeU.com, gave such clarity and understanding, grateful I found it!"

"Your work is transcendent. It has allowed my soul to open back up and peek out into life and feel alive again. You are deeply valued and loved. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you."

"I read your book and it was truly amazing!  You are truly inspiring!"

"I felt a sudden desire to write you as I was reading the site about you and Darien. It moves my heart. And not just that. It influences me on a deep level. I don't know what it is exactly but it is something important, something special.

I want to express my admiration that you so openly share your life. I admire your courage - it takes a LOT of courage to put oneself in so vulnerable position as to revealing as much of one's life as you do. Your faith is great (great as big). I want to express my gratitude for your free websites - I couldn't afford to pay of it all."

"I stumbled across your site, doing a google search for "letting go".  I am a 49 year old woman, who has had attachments to men who were "unavailable" to me emotionally and otherwise.  I have found your articles are such a "hope" for me to find complete healing. . . I just wanted to say thank you for doing this web site.  I feel it is a key that will open a door inside me to a much fuller and satifying life, if I can have the courage to do the work. . . Thanks again, I just wanted to write this little note of appreciation for the Sage-like direction I feel has come my way through you."

"Your website has gave me a lot of insight on theories I've had before and has also revealed to me my problem with relationships and waiting for prince charming to come sweep me off my feet! God bless you Robert."

"All your work, concepts and the book, you've written have an amazing liberating effect !! "

"I have read your book Codependence:  The Dance of Wounded Souls before.  However, I was talking with a co-worker one day who was going through a difficult period related to this subject and I shared my copy with her.  I do go to your website often and read what you have posted there as it helps me to stay centered and it is very supportive. Each of us has a wonderful purpose in life and I want to share my appreciation with you for sharing what you have to offer."

""I spent most of my life alone because I felt less lonely alone." This resonates with me deeply. Robert, you truly give voice to the suffering of so many. Thank you."

"Your works helped me tremendously, Robert"

"I only discovered your web site(s) a week ago, (through a random search using Google) and I cannot begin to say how relevant & inspiring I have found your words and spiritual guidance to be." 

"Here is the link for the song I wrote for your website many years ago if you want to listen to it. The recording is crappy but it will give you an idea of what it sounds like. It is my thanks to you for being one of my greatest mentors and showing me how to heal my wounds. For that I am forever grateful to you and the Universe. Thank You My Friend!"

"So much deep gratitude to you..thank you, thank you, thank you. So empowering, enlightening and so much LOVE, guidance, and validation. All love and Light to you for who you are what you do..lifting humanity and souls up toward a higher, more beautiful horizon. Love this writing/insight. Very nourishing. Needed it for this day."

"Hello Robert, I have been using your excellent book for 10 years now and shall again now. Your insights and verbal clarity make so many of my ingrained issues around codependency understandable and barable. Much forgiveness for my poor parents now. Long may you continue your outstanding work"

"your work has helped me hugely and dealing with old pain and re-writing negative self-beliefs has opened up a whole new perspective on life for me."

"Back when Joy2MeU was a small newsletter on the web...and the web was still relatively new to me. circa pre 2000. I still have the book with the Unicorn on the cover!! I love it!  I had almost forgotten how great your work was until I found you again. I'm sure I spe...ak for MANY in thanking you for what you have shared that has helped many understand and even evolve to their better self."

"Your book was a huge help to me getting my recovery started."

"I'm not sure if you are still monitoring your Joy2MeU website but I wanted to contact you and let you know how much it has helped me reading through your site.  It has recently come to my attention that many of the dysfunctional relationships that I've had over the course of my life originate from events that happened in my childhood.  .  .  What I didn't realize during this journey of self-discovery (one which continues to this day) was that I still need to acknowledge the hurt child inside of me, the one that I didn't know even existed.  I realized that some of the "positive" things (exercise) that I was trying to do to help myself were actually a way of punishing myself because I felt/feel unlovable and unworthy of love.
After reading your website, I realize that I need to start inside, to forgive myself and accept that the events that happened when I was a child, happened to an innocent child, that I'm not a bad person, one unworthy of love.  I was coming to this realization but hadn't gotten to that point, and then events in my life took a turn, and in a conversation with my sister and brother-in-law some truths came to the surface and I realized that I need to do more soul searching, acceptance and forgiveness for/with myself.  Finding your site has helped provide me with some guidance and information on my journey...so thank you."

"I have the book Dance of and I love. love. love it."

"Good morning Robert, I just wanted to thank you for being an important piece of the puzzle for me. I bought your book last week and listened to the cd's in the car, ( I spend much to much time behind the wheel). When you said you always thought about dying because you thought it was the only place you would find peace, I had the light bulb moment. I'm not suicidal but often death comes to mind as a picture from my childhood of where acceptance is found. I was having problems because, my spiritual learnings could not be digested and deepened until I recognized the innerchild at work. I have been enjoying much success with my work on the innerchild thru NLP, and with my spirtual teachings. Thanks to you I can once again refer to them as learnings. I had believed the process of my innerchild work was completed, thanks for reminding me of the furtalizer aspect of life and the fundamentals behind the word process:>) with deepest gratitude"

"The Dance of Wounded Souls" ... thank Mr. Robert Burney for such a profound, yet simple, analogy ... the connection with recovery and/or failure to understand the connection ... is worth the admission price alone"

"I came across your articles on line and WOW!"

"Your website has helped me so much -- along with about 200 books in two years and 4 years of therapy with a psychologist who was on the receiving end of an abusive relationship for ten years. It makes ALL the difference. Practical advice is ok but you need real understanding to heal. Your website has thoroughly shown YOUR understanding. Thanks from all of us who you have helped!!" 

"I wanted to congratulate you on your 25 years in the program. I am in Al-anon and will have my 4 year birthday next month. I wanted to let you know that your book and website have helped me immensely in dealing with my co-dependency problems with my AA husband.

I often though how wonderful it would be to have you as a speaker at one of our conventions but the geographic constraints would make that difficult. I am in Oklahoma and you are on the West coast  :-(

Robert, it is truly amazing how the 12 steps can change our lives and I am overjoyed for you in your recovery and sincerely grateful to you for all you have done for me in my recovery. I pray for all those poor lost souls out there that they may find your book and website and receive some healing also.  Blessing to you for all you do."

"I am receiving so much from you writings.  I am newly in Alanon.  It has been quite intense so far!  Thanks You!"

"My journey of self discovery has been remarkable.  The healing that I have found in your words is…restoring.  The eyes I now see with are new and the sadness is being shed.  I am saying goodbye to the little girl that used to be me and I am embracing the woman I am today.

My scars are there…they always will be…but they no longer rule me.  It is time to stop passing down the legacy of codependency from generation to generation.  This is not what I want for my daughters.  As I sit and read your words, tears fill my eyes…the cleansing process is so transforming its almost out-of-body.  The Divine and True Self within me years and longs to be…to be free…I am slowly breaking free from bondage of self and embarking upon the journey of new life…like a young bird learning to fly I cautiously take my first few steps out of this old nest and spread my wings.  Progress not Perfection.

Thank you…two simple words…I would like to shower you in more superfluous expressions of gratitude however…thank you are the two I choose.  Again…thank you.  I feel so much better already and I am not done reading."

"I love your information. I’m an Adult Child of Alcoholics and it’s a rough road to healing. Your information is very helpful."

"Dear Robert:  First, I would like to express deep appreciation for your work and your willingness to make it so easily available to folks on the internet.  Already some of  the content has help me immensely.  I'm 60 years old and thought I had done all the work/therapy/etc. I could possibly do in this life.  Surprise! "

"I have dived into your work, mainly 'relationships' and I am deeply grateful for you, as you were the teacher that showed up when this student was ready.  In doing this I find I am magnatizing others to me that are on the edge and searching for grounded balance. I am able to enthusiastically direct them to you. It always feels devinely inspired"

"Robert...your message and teachings have shown me the way and provided the tools for me to step out and notice my personal codependent ways...THANK YOU...words cannot express my gratitude and appreciation.   :)  Thank you so very much for sharing.  I really appreciate your work."

"I just wanted to thank you for all the help your book has given me,i'm reading it for the third time now and every time i get more out of it thank you very much.  its an excellent book." 

"Thank You for sharing your journey through your work. "Dance of The Wounded Souls" is a spiritual masterpiece and has helped encourage me on my path."

"We have used your book many times in our support groups at the ____ in ___. Sooooo many need to read your book. Thanks for all you do!"

"It's not that your works have "cured" me, but I can laugh and feel the joy of love of this lifetime once again. . . I read your book, The Dance of Wounded Souls, and it was like a wave of AWARENESS...there was a kindred spirit!  AND one who has found the NOW of his path with Integrity.
Your open heart and willingness to share with such courage touched me deeply.  I had always sought "him" and you speak of the same thing...and now, to feel that emotions ARE to be felt (with health and a bit of reason....) - I feel FREE...of shame, of not being what I thought others were...that alienation is gone.  You truly paved a safe haven of sorts - to be different...to look newly...to (as the song from La Cage Aux Folles says) stand up and shout, "I am what I am." I just wanted to thank you for being the presence you are and making a difference."

"May I say that I so appreciate your appraoch to the codependency issue/drama.  I feel the spiritual connection is missing in many informational writings and therapy."

"Robert, Your love has reached all corners of the planet.. that is a magnificent life achievement, i am honored to have shared time with you... my life is more full because of it.. much thanks and gratitude."

"You have some wonderful insights into the mind of the adult related to the thoughts of the child, glad you were able to make these offers for everyone to read!"

"Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all.  Please add me to your e-mail list as I am deeply grateful for the words of understanding, healing & comfort I have found on your website."

"I found your website back in 2003 and lost touch with you for a while. Do not stop what you are doing for there are so many people that, as me, need to see a soul break lose. I admire you...especially being of the masculine energy form."

"I simply love your writing Robert, your prayers, your self worth and belief...........thank you. I am slowly learning."

"I am a therapist and grief/forgivenss coach and acoa and I am excited to read your work - I approach the healing and transformation of these wonderful beings (myself included) from a place of joy and God and love, knowing that it is possible for us to find a different way, through and not in spite of. I will order your book but just wanted to get a preview. Thank you for your heart and wisdom."

"Hello Robert: I have been utilizing the great information you have posted on your web sites to assist clients with working through co-dependency issues.  I, too, have learned so much from your writings!  I've had some major "light bulb" moments, and I am for the first time in touch with my Higher Power. "

"I came across your website in my search for setting boundaries.  I work in the addiction and behavioral health recovery field and have personal experience with both.  I was amazed with your site!  As I read I began thinking of some of my clients who could really benefit from so much of the teaching you offer there but then the truth hit me--I NEED THIS FOR ME.  I am so grateful to have found your site and wanted to let you know that."

"I discovered your codependency articles through google. Your writing has helped me to understand the core of my problems which I was previously blind to. Every word you wrote spoke to me directly and fit my situations and attitudes perfectly.

I suddenly find myself loving myself again, now that I have realized that I own that power over myself. Your articles have helped me change my perspective in a way that will empower me for life."

"I am at the beginning of my journey to healing.  Your website has been a huge help for me."

"I just want to say how much I appreciate your writing.  You are more new age than me for sure but the basic reality of what you are saying re shame, and everything is really helping me deal with some issue.  How'd you get to be perceptive and wise.......where every word is a gem?"

"I stumbled upon your website by chance some years ago. I ordered the book and then the tapes. I listened to the tapes so many times that your voice put me to sleep night after night after night. I wore the tapes out and ordered the CD.  Your work is remarkable and can help many people if they were aware of it." 

"I am sending you this to say how much I appreciate the work you are doing. I have enjoyed reading your pages and your book and there has also been learning there for me."

"I have listened to your tapes many times, and each time I hear something new in my own personal journey of difficulties. I want to thank you for that, and I call you my Guru to friends. . . Thank you again for all the help and care you continue to give to others, and a realisation what needs to be healed in their journey through this life. And hope one day you do come to England."

"I'm from Finland and been got lots of help in past of your book The dance..... and been introducing your thoughts to my friends for several years now."

"I am from Singapore.  I have been reading your articles day and night (and Im not joking) for the past two weeks. I have been unwell and have taken the time to just recuperate and read. What a BLESSING my illness was.
I will never be able to thank you enough for the articles you have written. I can resonate with them easily. Many articles were comforting, soothing, encouraging, painful but I could understand it all with the depths of my soul. My very SOUL that I had hurt over and over again.
Thank you. Thank You so very much. I am relieved to know that I am not crazy nor wierd as my husband has always made me out to be.  My only goal in life is to live my LIFE  fully day by day in the NOW through the FEAR that I truly truly hope will lead me to the LOVE within.  And I pray that all that I ve learned and will continue to learn will allow me to help some one like you helped me. GOD BLESS YOU ROBERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I hope someone today has already told you how utterly FAB you are! Your words of wisdome have turned my life around from one of self-sabotage and victim state, to one where I try to make healthy choices and enjoy what each day brings. This is a sincere thank you. And learning to appreciate others and to be able to say so is an example of one of the changes! Just a bit of warmth to you, Robert, from an almost sunny UK!"

"I wanted you to know that your work has been a key to my healing and growing and I am still finding a great deal of value in it every time I look at your website and what you share.  I will be purchasing a copy of your inner child workbook shortly as well."

(February 14, 2010)

"I found the audio download to be astounding."

"I read your book as soon as I received it and I was absolutely consumed reading it.  What an eye opener and brilliantly written."

"You touched my life. I thank you forever."

"You are so very welcome (this from someone who made a donation to the cause - something that is always appreciated), I have gotten so much out of your book and the information on your website that this is the least I could do.  I am in the healing process after trying to find the answers for many years and your information made it really clear to me in a very deep way.
Yes I would most definitely like to subscribe to The Joy2MeU Journal and Dancing in Light and the bound inner child articles.  This information is so valuable to me.  I feel a new awareness is happening and I have already spread the message to several of my friends and relatives who are struggling with their lives.  This has me so motivated I want to let everyone know how this is helping me.
Thank you and keep up the great work!"

"I received your books (referring to Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls and the booklet Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing) have been totally submerged! I just want you to know that they have come into my life at the right time and have been invaluable to me. I am understanding the process and only beginning to relearn who that wounded inner child is and to honor her courage."

"A couple of days ago I received your booklet of the Inner Child Healing, thanks a lot!! and I found lots of available space in it for making drawings, :), so I am reading, drawing and coloring, expressing with images all that comes from my inner children while reading. It's a rainbow experience :)!!"

"I was doing some more reading this morning on your website, and wanted to thank you again Robert for your emotional honesty and sharing your wisdom with the world. Your truth, and sharing about it, always touches my heart deeply."

"your site is great.  thanks for having it on the internet:)"

"The other one I am going to have donated to my local library. There can never be too much books like this in my opinion because i feel that the writings offered in it (and at joy2meu.com) are particularly valuable  (Yes, I resonate with them). Since I began reading them years ago, Love and Light seem more accessible."

"i am writing a paper about your teachings.  I love your writings!  I am a junior at ____ in _____ and this paper is for my A.P. English class.  I really do like your site."

"I just wanted to thank you for the web pages you have written. Its like someone has looked at my life and written about it and has given me hope and strength to carry on my very long and recovery process from alcohol and drugs and to cope with the pain that I have been carrying around for so long. Your articles on obsession were very helpful for me which has been a particuarly difficult thing as I continue to torture myself by focusing and obsessing on unavailable father figures.

I have spend three years in alcohol and drugs recovery and am now beginning a long treatment with a pychotherapist.  Thanks again. its great to know that I'm not alone."

"Thank you so much. Timing on articles perfect for what is happening in my life.  All kinds of ptsd, layeres and layers.  Denial impossible when you reach your fifties. If we are honest, no pill no drink, no guru is going to fix all the pain. Your work makes all this material less radioactive. Helps me cut it down to size so it can be handled.   Thank you so much for your generosity in sharing this material."

"The website helped me to change the way I saw my life, it is a wonder!"

"I think your articles are absolutely brilliant!"

"I am sure you hear this all the time but I just wanted to say thank you for your brilliant yet easy to follow words of insight. I stumbled upon your site today (joy2meu) and spent at least a good three hours reading your articles.   Your articles about co-dependency really hit home as well as my lack of boundary setting and the harm that has caused me.

I have read many self help books concerning my issues but no words have hit home the way your articles did today. As my therapist pointed out last week, I have admitted to and identified my problems, deeply crave a happier, healthier life and am ready to do whatever it takes to recover. Your words are a real beacon of light and hope for someone who is about to embark on that path and feel for the first time in my ife that I can obtain that healthy and happy life I have always longed for, but had been unable to identify exactly where my unhappiness stemmed.  Thanks again. "

"I just discovered you yesterday and I feel blessed to find you and your book and website."

"I get so excited when I come across things that totally resonate - like give me goosebumps!   First of all - thank you for your website!  I literally stumbled across it a couple of days ago and thought - what the heck?  why haven't I ever found this before? (however reminded myself - everything is happening perfectly!)

I absolutely can not believe that there is someone else on this planet that understands (even though there is so much more that is not understood) what being human is all about - it was like you speak for me in your beliefs, in your experiences, in your healing, in everything!  Which is why I purchased your book.  I can not wait to read it!!  Where did you come from?!! LOL! . . . . .

I stumbled across your website because I googled codependancy (it was a word I never heard of before and saw it in an article that day).  and I had NO idea that I have been codependant in my relationships / life until I reached your website.  You have offered me so much with your words/experience etc, that I just KNOW the next lessons for my growth is to understand this codependancy thing.  My soul is ready for the next step and thank you for providing a foundation for another level of learning / healing for me. Anyways, thank you again - for reading this email, for your website and (in advance) for your book!" 

"Robert,  First of all let me begin by telling you how much admiration I have for what you do.  Co-dependency is a bitch and you've helped me to better understand my actions."

"I have also been reading through your website. Thank you for making all this information available for everyone!"

"i am so relieved to discover your website. i found it and wept with relief and grief so much relief - thank you . . . it was like coming home reading your website, having a profound insight into why i am not in a long term relationship at the age of 39,  so painful but so needed - i have ordered your book for me here in scotland. If you are ever coming to scotland, please let me know!  Guides and Teachers appear when we are ready thank you"

"Thank you for all the helpful information on your website."

"I am so very grateful for the information being shared through your website.  I am finding there such rich, specific information and it is offering me so very much in my recovery.  Thank you so much."

"Thank you for the Amazing work with the "Joy2MeU" Recovery website. And thank you, that already in 99, this was out openly. Currently, i am reading "Newagedawned", as the site attracted me strongly. Simply grateful for being on this planet, during these days.  Amazing knowlegde being shared, and it is like waking up from a haze sleep, and remembering. May your Higher Power continue to Bless You in Everything. The Unicorn has also appeared to me, and also when forgiving those whom helped cause me to hide behind a shell. May things be Prosperious with you & yours."

"I read more of your Newagedawned website material again today.  When I am feeling drained or low your writing has often confirmed me, my recovery and reminded me of the Truth.  I just wanted to take a moment and say how much your work has influenced my own, and know that your insights have helped all of my many clients too.  I don't know if I ever told you that.  I am sending abundant energy your way for your work. I am in the process of reconfiguring my own practice and working on my website.  Working on my life path.  Learning the lessons acckkk!  Just want to think you for being genuine, transparent and for your love of learning."

"I have gotten so much value and hope from your amazing body of work that you offer online for no money!"

"I resonate and sing praises with and of you, and your book, Robert. Thank you so very much!"

"Robert, your website, your words, your insight are a lifesaver.  It was about a year ago now that I discovered/admitted I had a problem.  I always knew that something wasn't quite right but I had never looked within.  I knew my life was completely devoid of any spiritual connection but did not see any reason why that was a problem.  The pieces finally fell into place for me and I had an awakening.  And the insight it gave me into the people around me; friends, relatives, etc. was mind boggling.  It felt wonderful, like a weight lifted from my shoulders.  Unfortunately it didn't last but soon I discovered your website and with your help I have been able to get to a place where I can feel less bad when I'm down and keep building on that. I was addicted to drugs for 10 years and became fed up with my dependence on a substance to make me feel a certain way.  Now I feel good even without the drugs.  Sometimes I get down, it seems to oscillate, but you've taught me how to pick myself up off the floor.  You are a real inspiration and a wonderful teacher. "

"I am profiting a lot from the wonderful material on your various websites."

"I wanted to drop you a line to extend my heart felt thanks.  The last seven months have been the hardest months inside of my fourty years.  I chose to leave a toxic relationship of 5.5 years and then hit rock bottom (and I thought I had hit rock bottom while I was in it ......)   I could not understand why when I elected to remove myself from something destructive I was not instantly happy / better / healed.   I have read everything I could get my hands on.  I read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (him), healing the heart, toxic love.  You name it.  Then I came across your website and the penny dropped.  The pain was still inside because it had been there all along.  Before, during and after my relationship with him.  I had only been acting it out with him.  He was the symptom, not the problem.  The problem was still within me.  I had been looking for the answer to healing my pain in the past relationship.  The answer is here with me. Right now.

You provided me with such a turning point I felt my whole perspective on life shift.  I bought your book.  I have just finished it and am about to start it again.   I just wanted to say thank you."

"Your writing struck a true and exquisitely painful chord."

"Robert, you have been a blessing, an answer to my prayer for you see I am struggling with these issues and I found you here, before my face and encouraging me.  You are placing within me a hope of which was lost in the jungle of confusion.  I am going to work this program of information and pray I can assist others.  Thank you for sharing and caring."

"I googled "deep grief" and came up with your website. Although I've been involved in body/mind healing for several years the deepest grief is surfacing now. I just wanted to thank you for your very helpful column."

"I wanted to thank you for your work - it is a great contribution to the collective, and has certainly shed some light on things for me regarding my own struggles and process."

"I know you don't ask for any feedback from your book, but I would like to let you know that I consider it one of my most treasured possessions.   When I read it...and I am on the second time round slow gear read...I feel as though someone knows me, understands me and it all makes such perfect sense. . . . It is hard to feel self worth but your book helps so much with that...it is the greatest gift anyone has given me, so thank you...tears...I shall keep reading your book and I visit your website often, and point friends in that direction too."

"Greetings from India!!  I am familiar with you work for some time now. I beleive in it and i beleive in you."

"I found your website this morning as I was looking for some insight on how to enhance my ability to set boundaries with my husband.  I was immediately caught up in the ‘Emotional Abuse’ section . . . I  sincerely appreciate your work. Thank you for your insights, and I hope to have the good fortune of hearing you speak some day."

"I just finished your book today and it really spoke to my situation and relationship dynamics.  Moreso than anything else I've found. Thank you"

"I just found your website last night as I was researching about why my 16 year old daughter hates me. I just want to tell you thanks for sharing your insights and knowledge with others. I am just starting my healing journey and just want to say thanks for your help!  Eternally grateful,"

"I only started learning about codependence when I started having deep relationship problems with my wife, and a trusted friend told me I was a codependent.  The first book I read was Melodie Beattie's "Codependent No More", which was tremedously helpful. Melodie is such a blessing!!  When I read her book, my life started making sense.  I then started attending CoDA meetings and started seeing a wonderful therapist.  I started feeling peace I have never felt before!  Recently, I decided to live sperately from my wife after seeing what an unhealthy relationship we had...  I am finally putting some focus and energy on taking care of myself...  something I have never done in my entire existence.
Your book came to me after I found your website.  It is the single most influential book I have ever read.  Your words talked to my Spirit.  You are gift from my Higher Power.  Through you, He has brought awareness, truth, hope, peace and love in my life.  I now know there are no coincidences in life.  You and your book came to me at the right time.  I am beginning to heal my wounds.  And God sends me gifts that help me in my healing process.  You are a tremendous gift to me.  Thank you, Robert.
Today, I am ordering more books from your site so I can share your beautiful words with others.  All around me, there are good but wounded souls, and through your book, I hope to inspire others to find themselves and change the dance into one that is of healing and love.
While I still struggle many times - I know now that it is all part of the human experience my spiritual being is having.  This is my journey.  I can only thank God for making you part of this journey.  I pray for you, and pray that you may be able to continue the good work that you have done for me and countless others.  Please also include me in your thoughts and prayers.   
Joy to you and me"

"I own your book.  I am very grateful for your spiritual insight within its pages, as well as your website."

"Robert,  Have so enjoyed your online articles on griefwork.. . . .Your writing is so well detailed, with great examples of cases."

"I listened to your tapes in my car during the winter months while still in Minnesota.  I was there from 2005-2008.  Thankfully,   I am back to Seattle.  You work is a channel to the source of unconditional love.  It is the closest to Christ Consciousness that I have discovered so I thank you."

"I have only just discovered you today. I started reading. I am looking forward to reading everything you have written. I started feeling like, maybe I'm okay!  Just this morning, struggling to get out of bed to face another day, I wondered what it would be like to be in the present, look forward to a day, to life, to not  feel like like I don't belong, feel sad, feel like a big screw up. It IS fear, and shame. I've been obsessing (about a man, a very unavailable one) and I can't tolerate it anymore. It interferes with my life. It thwarts motivation, thus progress.   I am going to put my two sons in touch with you and all you have to offer."

"I have received lots of help from you and I am sure many people is feeling better because of your work.  I found you in January 2009 and inmediately bought cds of your book, a really healing work, it has encouraged me to keep doing my emotional work and listening to the audiobook has given me some company in difficult times. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!"

"Am so glad that I ran across your work and will keep exploring it! you are really ahead of your time."

"Thank you for your book! Thank you for signing it! That was nice. I read it through with many underlines and journal entries along the way. All of it resonated with me, on so many levels.  Many thanks for you helping me as you already have."

"Having read your book, I had a really good day at work. I forgot to tell you that I have work, relationship, shopping and sex addiction.  I have got rid of the relationship, so I do not have a relationship or sex addiction. But work addiction was at its peak. Today it was ok. I am powerless over work.  I surrendered to my higher self completely.  It is so good that you understand everything.  thanks for writing the book.  I am living consciously with awareness and when I respond I make sure that I am not coming from the wounded child.  I do not react but sit with it and respond in a mature way. You book has made a difference.  I am beginning to feel happy."

"All you've written so far has been a wonderfully liberating help !!"

"I discovered "YOU", your website and your book yesterday while doing a search on Amazon and cannot stop reading anything that I can get my hands on since yesterday.  Even though I have been in therapy and recovery from codependence for few years and I am familiar with many of the "works"  in the field, I was so grateful and excited to find your name.  I ordered your book from Amazon yesterday and cannot wait for it to arrive.  I love your simple yet so valuable style of writing and cannot wait to learn all I can from you.  Thank you so much again!  I am so excited to have found you!"

"I've recently stumbled upon your website and i'm really grateful for all the information and wisdom you shared with all of us"

"I loved your book & the way you made it clear that co-dependency is a spiritual problem. It helped me out of a dark hole 3 yrs ago."

"Hi Robert, came across you several years ago. Something that has stayed with me all this time (as I interpret it) - in your writings you talk about how we aren't to blame for some of the F'd up things in our lives, nor should we blame our parents. The way society had been molded over time by some very greedy, sick, deranged people throughout time that sought control with no compassion for humanity, only their benefit of oppression. Your words of "we are not to blame" have helped me keep perspective and to seek and embrace that which resonates with my inner soul, my True identity. The internet has been very beneficial as it allows us access to the 'right' minded people and ideas! Thank you Robert."

"I have been engrossed in your web pages for the last few nights! What a writer."

(September 26, 2009)

"Just want to say Thank You!  I just recently found your website and have been working through your pages/steps over the last week and already I feel they are having a huge impact on me.  I have been trying to figure out my internal battles for years without ever understanding ANY of it till now. You hit the nail on the head every time. Every page makes me go "WOW - that's it!"  Thank you, thank you, thank you. The people in my life thank you!"

"I am reading the brilliance of your words as tho my Soul is articulating them simultaneously!!! What joy!  All the Gods Bless You Robert--I want to weep with joy and relief at having found your website....I cannot tell you how hopeful I am perhaps for the first time in my 49 years."

"I just wanted to say thank you for healyourinnerchild.com!  I've been doing the codependent dance for decades, and have been able to grieve and heal with your guidance. . . I have been reacting out of wounds.  I have been living life in a reactive way.  I CAN change my attitudes and perspectives.  I have been living life as a victim, but I'm not merely a victim.  I do get to co-create my life. My heart has been broken for a long time, and it's wonderful to acknowledge that.  It's nice to have guidance in healing.

I have been emotionally abusive to my wife over the years.  She may be leaving me.  That is an effect caused by my broken heart and attitudes. The great thing about your website is that it helps me to heal!  Other online and published "sources" on emotional abuse merely paint the abuser as a crappy guy, and that the woman needs to flee the man.  You, however, actually love!  You actually show where things have gone wrong.  You actually show how to help.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Thank you for the work you did putting up your website healyourinnerchild. I had the link in my bookmarks for months before I intensively read the entire site in a few days last week after I almost had a full pledged blowout with my parents.  It was refreshing to have the thoughts that I have had for a while written by someone else and explained better than I could have because I had never shared what I felt with others or if I did I sugar coated it to make it seem like everything was fine."

"WoW, I love your style of writing. i am ssooo grateful to you for your newest web page healyourinnerchild.com  i to am a recovering alcoholic, child of sexual abuse, and dysfunction in all areas of my life. i have a adult child (20 yrs.) with 3 ,yes 3 children under the age of 3 yrs. old. today we have a respectful,loving relationship, but it was very rocking at the beginning of my recovery. your websites have helped me tremulously. along with weekly physiotherapy appointments and daily AA meetings. i live a life today, like i never knew was possible. thank you for your knowledge (and sharing it) that effects millions of adults. i pray i am able to meet you some day."

"Thank you for this! and as always such apt timing for me, the web site on heal your inner child was so very relevant to me and I thank you for your generosity of such information being available. I will continue to read the books and pass on the information to others to help. I resonated with many things you said thank you Robert it lets me know I am on the journey that is right for me and in many instances is unfolding with naturally when I let it show itself. The detachment you talk about I also gained insight for myself naturally as a way to help me be in all this so reading your articles brings that groundedness and light back again to me.  Integration is the key for me now, funny how it unfolds when you let it............Thank you again, keep up the good work it makes a difference :-)"

"Your website has been absolutely invaluable for me.  I have and still am learning so much from it."

"Your work is so far in advance of what most people can deal with, but thank you so much for it. As soon as things allow would like to prosper you. Thank you for your work. I can only scratch the surface. It is almost too much for one abused to find answers like this."

"I feel that God led me to your web page.  May God continue to bless your life, Mr. Burney.  Thank you for your help to thousands of desperately sick people, myself included."

"As always I am enjoying reading your website very much. Thank you for having it all that out there.   Your website is great and I love your brutal honesty."

"You've really been a great help to me over the last two months.  My personal and spiritual growth have hurt, but they have been leading me home.  I still have moments of insecurity, but you've helped me be more loving to myself, and allow me to acknowledge that I am a spiritual being, that I am wonderfully made, that I am a success, and that I am universally loved.  I'm 32 years old, and I'm just now loving myself. . ... . thank you for your growth, and for sharing your growth."

"Thanks for the information about your new websites.  Your book really helped me some years back in my recovery from food and relationship addictions and I have continued to read from your website since then.  Thank you so much for the part that your experience and material has played in my recovery."

"You’re work has been a Godsend and I’m so thankful to have found it.  I have been doing the affirmations every day.  I recorded them and listen to them multiple times through out the day."

"Your work has helped me so much.  I printed out several articles last fall and gave them to my therapist.  She in turn made copies and gave them to a handful of her patients and they signed up for your newsletter!  I loved your book too.  Loaned it out to someone now that I think of it...thats why I can't find it!  All good though.......keep the potential for healing moving."

"I wanted to get in touch and express how significant your writing has been to me... it has been most helpful and insightful to read. . . . Once again, thank you for the website, i hope you are proud of your work."

"I have been struggling with many issues, including a very painful 'falling in love' situation with someone who feels like my soulmate, but has been very unavailable to me (from his own terror of being hurt and feeling unlovable, I am now able to see).  No other resource, book, or therapist has been able to explain why I have such strong emotions for someone, that seem to be 'true love' (certainly true longing), that do not want to relent, no matter how many meditations, affirmations and strong words of discouragement from my friends about this guys' unworthiness as a partner.  I've spent many hours combing through this site, and so many things resonate with me, that I cannot stop reading.  Thanks for much for your work and brutal honesty.  Right now, its my one source of sanity through these very painful times."

"You are onto some really good material here.  Everything I read on your website had immediate meaning for me."

"I have recently gone through some significant life changes and while browsing for helpful information on the net, I came across your website and it really struck a chord.  I must have read a few dozen of your articles almost immediately. "

"Bloody brillant article !! (referring to The Miracle of The Twelve Step Recovery Process - a formula for integration and balance) I'm really  impressed with the subject and overall proper use of English language, which leaves me with the only fundamental question: ''How to apply these theories to our lives'?''.. May the universe bless you,mate."

"I was just led to your website and I felt compelled to thank you for being you and for all that you do. I am so grateful for light workers like you!"

"I also just want to say thank you for your website and work. Just reading some of the material on your website gives me a feeling of hope for positive changes for the future."

"I very much enjoyed reading on your website this morning.  Thanks for your work in "putting it out there!"  I wholeheartedly agree with you!"

"I am in Peru and I have been thinking about you a lot, wanting to share my experience with you as you have helped to get to this point of healing my emotions and my wounded self. . . . You have planted a seed in me to want to heal my inner being and for that I thank you very much and will forever be grateful to you.  My love to the cutest Darien as well as your partner."

"I send this mail from Srilanka. Yester day i found your web site I am very happy to learn about inner child healing. . . After reading your writing I feel that I have found new light within me. And I have got a very remarkable releaf.Your thinking is an exhalant gift for the people who search emotional and spiritual holistic life."

"WOW!!!  Your book and CD's arrived, and I literally can not stop listening to them, as I drive my car, and lay down to rest.  It has struck as Truth with me, and just affirms all that I have come to accept as my path, in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.   I am sure you are used to receiving emails of this nature, but I would me amiss if I did not thank you for your words.  They  have assisted in transforming  me to another level of living,  I think you may understand what I am trying to convey.   I was yearning for a boost in my program, and this was it.  I work with many young women and this has given me new information that I feel is most helpful, for many.   Thank you for sharing.  If I keep doing what I have been doing, I will have 9 years of sobriety this July 8th."

"I found your email on your website and was inspired to write a short note of gratitude. Your articles have really helped me solidify my perception of codependence and strengthened my resolve to having healthy, loving relationships. . . . . Your series of articles have proved useful when my own words fail me. They've been a great tool for friends and loved ones.  Again, thank you."

"I am writing with deep gratitude for having found your work on codependency on the Internet. I am truly inspired by it!"

"Thank you for sharing your amazing uplifting facts about recovery"

"My name is _____, and I am a Program Manager for a Crisis Center.  I  have been to your Joy2MeU website before, but tonight, as I am working 3rd shift, I found many other articles that I never saw before;  I was looking for some information on codependency for a client, and just got engrossed in your website!! This is fabulous stuff. . . . I just wanted to thank you for your website, and all the information on it.  It will be very helpful not only to me, my staff, but also my current and future clients!  It has been hard for me to find literature on the subject that has not been either judgmental in some way, or either over- or anti-spiritual in other ways.........I find your descriptions to be the most objective and simple of any others I have come across.  For that, I am grateful.  Blessings to you and your work and continued recovery!"

"I love your website and all you are offering the world."

"I am already getting the answers to many of my questions through your great articles.   P.S.: Was reading your newsletters about your godson today :). Somehow, I feel as if I am part of a big family through your writing, amazing!"

"Thank you for the book, it has realy changed my perspective on life.  I have also read all your webpages. . . Since I have started reading your book, I immediately changed my perspective on life. I really am much happpier now than I have ever been and I feel at peace within knowing that everything does happen for a reason."

"I've been reading an excerpt from your website related to fear of intimacy.  You've hit so close to home, I'm astounded.  Your thoughts on codependency, emotional trauma, repeating the same destructive patterns which further injure us and cause even more fear of intimacy are all so close to what I've been feeling, what I've gone through in my life made me feel like you were doing a case study on my life and my feelings (or lack of understanding of what I was and wasn't feeling)."

"The reasons for my current feelings of gratitude are: I have re-read all of your work over the last few weeks and suddenly it has all come together for me in applying that knowledge to my everyday reality on a moment by moment basis.  As i am walking through my life i have a continuous mantra going on in my mind that runs almost on auto pilot
That mantra is simply "robertburney.com, robertburney.com" (It is actually robertburneylive.com - the one with just my name is a dental plan;-)  It is empowering me to let go in the very moment and make the loving connections i so desire  All of a sudden my ability to connect intimately with my wife and son is really starting to happen for me This is precious and means the world to me  Thankyou Robert, thankyou.."

"I can definitely say your written wisdom has helped me along my own journey-and I share it with others I work with.  So, thank you for that."

"Your new webites are brilliant  Your intellectual work on everything you have made avaliable to me is amazing.  I have had a breakthrough recently in my ability to stay self loving at all times. This has occured because i have brought to the forefront of my mind all of your work.  Whatever the situation, (interactions with wife and 2 year old son), (out and about round the shops or whatever), (facial contacts with strangers in passing)  I have the mental ability to immediately hold in my mind the mental power avaliable through the knowledge of your work. This is awesome for me. I am emotionally very sensitive so i am now able to let go and emotionally process every single moment completely in the now holding onto my magnificence. This has only become possible for me lately because i have been able to use the power of your work. Almost matrix like! i have downloaded the software. One brain to another! Wow, this is awesome to be able to have these thoughts and tell you these things.

I love your work Robert. I mean i really love it. I really am amazing. My biggest fear now is if i can be this happy and free within myself, where is my higher power taking me. This is so exciting. Maybe i will become a being of light in this earthly experience! That could be intresting.  Cheers Robert, you have given this soul the tools he needs to heal, love and fly."

"Robert , I want to share with you what I notice, about myself I feel as adult child, teenager, youth, little _____, I feel all  what little _____ desired as a child, I feel it’s complete, I notice the pattern I had repeated in the past is in the past for me, I’m learning to change my thoughts and thinking pattern with positive affirmation, for me to make it come true for me. why I honor my past for what wonderful person I can be. With understanding for other wounded souls. I feel for people, and yet allowing others to live their own life experience.  This way I’m not in denial/lying to myself. I feel With gratitude to my higher power, for wonderful spiritual healer come into my path, and I ask God to make me the best student for my spiritual teachers.  Robert continue with your journey and many blessing to you."

"You are a great teacher and am helping many people!  The world needs more love and you are showing people what real love is and how to do it!!!!"

"I was introduced to your material, the "Dance of the Wounded Soul", by a friend of mine in London and I have gone into your website many times and got some really good help for myself there. I really do thank you for your generous sharing of yourself and your materials."

" I stumbled upon your website this afternoon - Joy2MeU.com. Or rather, the universe directed me there. So far, I've perused the site. And already I can sense the info will help me heal my inner child and tape over the programmed tapes in my subconsious. . . . I really want to heal... it's time to. And I'll do whatever it takes... so finding your site today is a great sign."

"I purchased you book as an mp3 and must say I am very impressed with the material. You cover the subject of codependency in a way that makes sense, more sense than all the material I have read to date. My greatest appreciation is the fact that you treat the subject with an intelligence that doesn't simply glaze over the surface of the problem. As you say, it is insidious and it does unhinge us at our core. Now, of course, comes the difficult work of facing the problem with a new understanding and a willingness to heal. My favourite part of your book is the idea/fact that we are spiritual beings having a human experience - liberating!"

"It's an honour that you have openly shared your experiences with the world.  Please keep up the work with Spirit and Bless you for having the strength to share it."

"I read you book and listended to your tapes in 1996 when I was going through a painful divorce.  Today, I still live by the principals you taught me in your book "Dance of Wounded Souls."  Reading your book and going through the divorce with the help of your teachings brought about an awakening and understanding of what had gone wrong with my relationships in my life.  Love your works  (e-mail received 5/30/09)"

"I'm spending every free moment going through your websites, and enjoy every minute of it. . . A friend just lent me the Voice DVD, along with that and devouring your writing.   It is such a blessing to know that there is a soul healer available to me and the whole world."

"I have read your book and alot of articles on your websites you are amazing, you have helped me so much in seeing some of my own issues."

"I am sitting here thinking how on earth do i express my gratitude to you.  This is how.  I want to go outside and explode with gratitude to my higher power. My higher power has included you as part of a plan to make me magnificent. That feeling is divine love with no limits, boundries or rank It is pure awesome love Of course as you know we are all magnificent THANKYOU GOD, I LOVE YOU (my thoughts)  THANKYOU ROBERT BURNEY WELL DONE GOD FOR WE ARE ONE AND LOVE IS ETERNAL AS YOU KNOW"

"I bought your book and donated to your site. Both are simply awesome and should be required reading. It has been helpful to be reminded that someone else's behaviour is not personal. . . . Thanks for the reminder and all the wonderful work you do."

"Your websites are wonderful...and it is so great, refreshing to read a man's perspective of things I have been thinking, feeling, working through. Thank you from the depth of my soul.  It would be a pleasure and an honour to be on your mailing list, thank you. I have already spoken about your website to several friends, and I have been to order your book Dance of Wounded Souls from our local book shop, but sadly it is not available in the UK, so I will order it on-line. . . . Your own accounts have been an inspiration and a comfort.  I had already found the articles you refered to before your email came....the labyrinth is worth the search!"

(May 25, 2009)

"I know from personal experience that time spent listening to your recovery story and codependence healing process is so helpful! . . Thanks for keeping me on the mailing list.  I always look forward to anything that comes from you and your site."

"Thank you so much for your website. I have been turning to it repeatedly for the last week and finding it a great source of information and comfort. You article about Letting Go of an Emotionally Unavailable Person has especially deep resonance for me right now.

I'm grateful to have found your words to help me during a time when my childhood wounds have been triggered. I agree with you that when this happens it is an opportunity for healing. I am trying.  Thank you for putting this help out there for all to access."

"I just stumbled upon your site and think your contribution to our world is brilliant. You and Jesus appear to have very similar vibrations."

"Yesterday at work, while in the midst of another mind numbing day of pain, I stumbled upon your website while searching for information about boundaries. I spent the better part of the afternoon reading and bookmarking pages to return to when the time is right.  This morning, I woke up and was drawn to "The Story of Joy to You & Me". This story hits so close to home with me on so many levels, but particularly where you explain how you added “thy will not my will be done”.  All week long this has been the phrase that has been running through my head while trying to cope with my immediate situation.  What I found to be ironic was that I carry the serenity prayer with me on a pink sheet of paper taped over so it doesn't fall apart and on Monday I had added "not my will…" to the bottom of the page.  So when I read your story it confirmed my need to let go of my situation and let God do his work.

Meanwhile, through your story, I now realize that I have also been torturing myself for all these years when what I really need to do is let go of the craziness and turn the situation over to God.  AND, today is the day that I will start to learn what it means to love myself and to begin the journey of working on me. .
As the tears stream down my face, I realize these aren't the "pain and fear" tears I have been crying, but they are tears to acknowledge that there is joy is within me, I just need to start letting it out. This feels like a pivotal day in my personal recovery and I just wanted to thank you for your transparency because it was a positive trigger for me."

"I find your work very refreshing, i feel like i am truly connecting with my self . . .  i am very thankfull for all the time you have put into your work and that of helping other peoples lives."

"Was up at 3am this morning reading more on your site, I love the way you explain your thoughts and expericances. I'm 100% with everything you are writing." 

"I just wanted to let you know how amazing your wedding prayer is to your friends.  I wish I could have found your website and audio book years ago.  My husband and I were married 4 years ago and I couldn't find the right words to say to him that truly expressed what I felt for him.  However, I was so blind and misguided as to what love truly means and what marriage and relationships mean.  Your wedding prayer says what I feel to be true.  If that makes sense!  My husband and I are now separated and have had so much trouble ... let me tell you, we can really push each other's buttons!  More so than anyone I've ever been with.  I now realize that I am very codependent and he also plays his role in our unhealthy dance.  We are talking about your book and he is going to listen to it also.  I am hoping that he and I can work through this so that we can be together with our 2 year old daughter.  We do love each other, we just haven't been that kind to one another when we've hurt each other.  I've definitely had the misconception about relationships, thinking that they were supposed to be perfect and happy all the time.

Anyways, thank you for posting the wedding prayer.  It's beautiful!"

"Your website is fantastic."

"Those pages (inner child healing pages starting with Inner Child Healing - How to begin) really helped me get to the core of how to even recognize what co-dependence really is, I'll have to wait to buy the book but it looks like it's really worth it to.  That's pretty amazing though to have basically a system to quickly and relatively simply get through and get passed so many LARGE issues! . . thanks again Really appreciate the direction."

"Sir you have changed my life and my way of thinking ..."

"First I owe you an apology for the lateness in thanking you for your reply to the question I posed on your website regarding 'codependence and the spiritual journey'. I have read it and re-read it and then visited your site and was so touched at the abundance of information that you provide so generously. Thank you for sharing your kind, wise and wonderful soul. I very  much look forward to receiving your book and plan to schedule time to read through the material on your site too."

"thanks for saving my life i read your article fear of intimacy...and believe i am ready to start living."

"I attended your July-2008 Intensive with my daughter, _______, and we have been singing your praises since then. As a matter of fact, I convinced my friend,_______, to come from Virginia, be my house guest and attend your February Intensive. . . I have read numerous books on codependency and felt great gratitude to you for what you have created to help people who have grown up in the dysfunctional systems so prevalent in our culture.  

How could I help my daughter ______ was my painful quandary when I discovered your website. It would take years going to Alanon or codependency groups. You and your heart-felt program was just what we needed. I could not give her what I had learned with her resistance. However, you could and did. She took copious notes and bought your book. Your incorporating transactional analysis was particularly helpful. . . .  Thanks to you, our communication has opened and ______ has let go of the insidious "I Don't Want to Talk About it." I appreciate how you have evolved a system and a vision that is practical, effective and cutting edge."

About Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls - an audio Spiritual Experience

"I received your CDs a couple of days ago, and I am remembering my Truth in listening to your words.  The CDs are invaluable to me."

"LOVE the audio cds!!! God Bless amigo."

"Thanks for sending the book and cd's. I've been through the cd's once now and really liked them."

"I am recently blessed by the high vibration and accuracy of your cd set."

"Thank you Robert.  I am in receipt of your CDs.  They are in alignment with my beliefs and a wonderful tool for assisting in reprogramming negative patterns.  You are extremely articulate here and I will recommend your CDs/book to my clients and Yoga students."

"i found your site very useful and helpful, i have to say i am or rather was not a big fan of self help books , because hey after all i assumed i was  a well rounded, well balanced, sucessful independent woman...... until i hit that brick wall, whereby i could not figure out why i kept repeating the same patterns and the same things were happening to me over and over with regard to my relationships with various people, professionally, but more especially personally..... i am on a massive journey of self discovery and that process is long, hard and painful, i am however determined this time round to deal and confriont my inner child... i have totally resonated with what i read from you, but i believe I did so now, only because i am now in the space to receive that information with an open mind and want that change, otherwise yours would have been like so many... read it and gone what the hell??? and put it down, forgotten about and carried on with my day............

i bought he CD so i could listen to it at night before i sleep, so i can begin to retrain and re programme my subconcious NOT to go back into default mode whenever things happen or i go into my victimised space.......... no doubt i look forward to going through more of what you have to say on these issues and i also thank you for coming into my life at this juncture and contributing to hopefully a new me!!"

"Myself and many family members of mine have been inspired and helped by the information you have on your websites and the audio and written version of your books. We would all love to be able to attend one of your Intensive Training Day workshops, but with the economy in it's present state and several without jobs, it is not affordable at this time. I believe your Intensive Training Day workshops are very fairly priced, but the cost of travel and hotel is too expensive. "

About Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

"Thank you so much -- the book is brilliant."

"Thank you for the gift and blessings of your book. The book was a life saver…Again, your book is the Truth. It came at just the right time. Just looking for an additional nudge to do something.  Blessings to you eternally."

"I haven't forgotten you or your work and what your (book) words did for me.  I continue to walk my spiritual path and with that lies my compassion to empower other women. The Dance of Wounded Souls continues to guide and inspire me. And I am thankful for all the fertilizer."

"Thanks for the book.  It is my second copy. I gave my first one to a friend who really needed it.  I told her to keep it.  It helped me more than two years of counseling. I recommend it on many answers/chat rooms for people seeking help.  Your observations and views are spot on, and your view on religion,( as opposed the the God spirit) and what it has done to us really opened my eyes.   Thanks for helping me, and the millions of people out there like me/you!"

"Your book is amazing."

"I am emailing to thank you very much for what you have written in yr dance of wounded souls book. I have just finished reading it for the first time and I intend to keep it as something I will re-read later on in my life.  I have found it inspiring, hopeful and very truthful. I really appreciate yr honesty with your own frustration around the timing of higher power and also yr absolute conviction about our spiritual nature. I have come a long way on my own healing path and like you believe that the inner child healing is the most powerful - I realise that I, like many others, get very stuck in emotions and then believe them to be the total truth of everything rather than fluid temporary expressions of passing moments. It is great to have a sense of myself as something more than my thoughts and my feelings.  I feel a lot of love as I write this so I am sending it to you with my gratitude. Good luck with everything you are working on personally, professionally etc etc  Much love and light"

"Just found your book and loved it..... thanks for sharing your wisdom!"

"I have read other books on codependency but the material did not resonate with me until now, when I found your website."

"I have read and used to have a copy of your book but I happend to give it to my brother so I am ordering a "resident copy" of the book for myself. The other two will go to some important people in my life who expressed interest in the subject matter of your book. If I come across more such individuals, I will give them a gift or your book, that's the least I can do.
I would also like to let you know that your book and website gave me (and keep giving me) some very important insights which have aided my healing process. I keep on coming back to your book and website and I would like to thank you for making them available. I am just about to sign up for the Dancing in Light website section."

"And I just can't get enough out of reading it. I just can't put it down. I am gaining so much insight and understanding of 'codependence' and 'the human condition'.  Your book and the articles on your website have helped me so much; everything just seems to make sense."

"I purchased your book via amazonkindle and am deep into Chapter 4 . I am looking forward to getting a hard copy so I can highlight and underline the most meaningful thoughts for me.  The way you are able to communicate the pain of codependence is very helpful to me."

"I received the book today, and I am already half way through it. A fantastic read so far, revealing, warm, and so very insightful. I wish you the best of success in your pursuit of helping others help themselves. I've no doubt the book will prove to be an invaluable tool for myself."

"Hello Mr. Burney I want to appreciate your book, your knowledge have giving me the opportunity to understand how life works and all the problems come from the fact of disconnection from the higher power and of the wounds from childhood."

"This is great work you are doing."

"And joy to you brother  Brother, You are the only one I know of who tells it like it is."

"What a blessing to come upon your website tonight.  I've finally made the step to do much needed Inner Child work.   As I am not in a financial position to go to a counsellor, I was thrilled to find so much great information on your website.  This will be most helpful in the weeks and months to come.   May your generosity be returned to you a thousand fold!"

"I've been reading your website about codependency issues and it's making tons of sense. . . Anyway, to make a long story short, I absolutely LOVED the information provided on your webpage and it sounds like we could both use some good counseling.Thank you soooo much for your help Robert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Thank you for your kindness, your work... and for sharing it."

"I have visited your Website and enjoyed the material on setting personal boundaries.  I am presenting a class to graduate nurses on “Setting Personal Boundaries.”  I would like to use some of the material in your website for educational purposes.  For example, your definition of boundaries is excellent.  Also, I really like the way you explain how to set limits with other people and what consequences one can expect when setting appropriate boundaries."

"I haven't yet had a chance to listen to the audio, but have read with great interest your article on Setting Personal Boundaries. . . Please do add me to your email list, as I know from browsing your website that much of what you have written about will ring true for me as well.  I felt as if it could have been me you described growing up believing that you had power over other people's feelings, and they over yours.  Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight with those of us not quite on the same step, but very much on a similar path."

"Its God's leading that I came upon your website. Really want to express my deepest appreciation to you for being & doing what you do so well. .. Your website will be passed on to soooooooo many friends living miserable helpless lives. In the days following, I'll be very happy & busy ......smile........studying your experiences & the wisdom you so joyfully share with the world. . . I feel you do OUTSTANDING work as a therapist."

"I want to thank you for your amazing wisdom."

"I read all your web sites and they all blow me away, I feel every word you say, and someday I will be able to write them and verbally say them as you do. Your a true blessing to me and I look forward to reading more of your inspiration."

"Finding someone who connects wounded souls and spirituality so well has been a blessing.  Upon reading about you, my “writing coach” purchased your book to learn more about co-dependence and dysfunctional families. "

"And I just can't get enough out of reading it. I just can't put it down. I am gaining so much insight and understanding of 'codependence' and 'the human condition'.  Your book and the articles on your website have helped me so much; everything just seems to make sense."

"Thank you so much for putting all of the wonderful information out there on your website.  I actually just discovered that I am involved in some pretty deep codependent relationships and I am so ready to start working on this and start definitely bringing some joy back into my life!  Yay!  It is awesome to have a wonderful resource like your site.  I plan to get your book asap, also.  Thanks again and have a great week!"

"I have over the years gone back to your website time and time again.  It has been part of my journey to finding myself and to refinding parts I never thought existed and to heal the pain that I still carry with me.  There's still lots to do but I am in no rush.  Every day I learn something new.  Be it about dysfunctional families and the anger I carry.  Then recognising that feeling anger isn't wrong but that it is a valid emotion that points out that something is definitely wrong.  Then I read your page on Holidays and how we 'should feel' as opposed to just letting go and if I feel like crap then so be it.  Happiness is so overrated at times.  There is much pain that exists and we don't need to deny it, we live with it.  Life is hard but the journey continues.  And the peace we find now and again completes the picture.  But ultimately the work we've come to do, will bring us back home.

So with that I want to say thank you.  Thank you for the work you've done and for allowing people like me to do the work I need to do for myself and with others and in return coming full circle to reclaiming what's rightfully mine."

"I have loved your website ever since I discovered it a few years ago.  I have always wanted the book, only now I am getting it, first for _____, then I will get one for myself."

"WOW Robert!  I accidentally stumbled across your site - incredible and awsome! Congratulations! I will need to spend quite a few hours in there reading it all. Such an incredible amount of wisdom and understanding to share.
By amazing co-incidence (or not-so-amazing sychronicity ;)) I have been going through exactly a lot of this stuff recently myself!!! Only I didn't know anyone else had been there the same as me! I am not alone! It's great to have likeminded support, even if across from the other side of the globe, written a few years ago. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for the site, and I will look out for the book. Keep it up!! Well done!"

"I have found the site very inspiring so thanks for that."

"Thank you for your answer and thank you for your wonderful page.  Thank you for sharing your experience. Thank you for being so clear, so honest. God bless you"

"I got tremendous benefit from reading the excerpts from your website. I needed to find codependency recovery information that could help me better understand myself and my relationships with people, all mutually emotionally wounded individuals as well as me.  So, I googled "emotionally wounded" and your site came up. Thank you for your valuable information on the spiritual aspects of codependency. I sorely need that information right now."

"I am extremely grateful to have access to your website.   I have read all of your work in the past and thought "wow this is great, someone knows what i feel"  And i thought thats it, i know everything Robert Knows, job done, easy street!

Well i have come back to your work with a new state of mind.  I really do "read" your stuff fully these days and allow that wisdom to penetrate my whole emotional experience.  "Wow" what a difference  Whereas i used to read a page of your work in 5 minutes, now i take great joy at 5a.m in taking an hour to read a page with a nice cup of strong coffee!x)  So now i am really benefitting from your work

I am really grateful for this Robert and wanted to tell you so.  You "should" (positive should!) be really proud of yourself for your amazing website. Fantastic Robert, so much depth and detail, its quite incredible really.  When God dishes out the universal honours you can be sure he's mighty proud of what you have done. He might even have one of those funny hats you could wear and stick a load of letters after your name, because the value of your work to all of his magnificent spiritual beings is without doubt immesurable and brilliant.  I am so grateful that i can "just" click on your site and there i am back in my magnificence in an instant."

"Thank you for sharing your insights...they came to me exactly when I needed them!"

"Hello Mr. Burney,

It has not been too long since I started to know myself. Now I am 31 and it feels like 31 years in Auschwitz..   I just would like to thank you very much for sharing the light of your wisdom which helped me set boundaries with my inner  Nazi torturing my inner little jewish.  The articles you share on the internet has given me a lot insight, helped a lot.

Thank you, thank you, thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu very much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom:)  Kind regards from Turkey," 

"The website is incredible."

" I came across your website on 3/16/09. What I read, I liked. I am in the process of ordering your book. Also I printed out many of  pages from your website to read& study. Thank You!"

"I love everything I've read from your web pages, your personal experiences written with honesty, and sensitivity is felt through your words you put on paper. thank you"

"Whenever I was resisting healing or had fear I went to your website and realised that I need not fight with my own Truth. Although I have been ______ student since June 2008, I discovered your website in September 2007 - when I was going through depression. I was suicidal much of 2007. It was relieving to find out someone else had experienced what I had and there was a name for it - i.e. codependency. It made me realise that life need not be so painful and we have a choice; that we deserve and demand respect and that we have boundaries. It was in January 2008 (after months of intense reading on your website and writing down pages and pages of notes) that I heard my first inner children yelling and crying to me that they don't trust me as I don't listen to them. I was upset, I told them, "It's okay for you to be sad and angry, for mum was never there".

Since then I have learnt so much about healing. Your website resonated with me so much that I could just literally after reading once, memorise what you had written and I would tell others about it. It is all beautifully written. Eventually, in November 2008 I finally spoke to an inner child who felt alone since ever and forever. She wanted to leave and go far away from mum and dad. Since then I feel I am done with my suicidal thoughts for good. I am much less codependent now - but I guess, I am 23 and it takes time to resolve years of conditioning. However, now that I have discovered so much and my past is very clear I exactly know what wounds to focus on in the next few weeks or even months. All the patterns I had been living were unclear when I first decided to be Abby's student. And although initially, my resistance to healing was immense, I believe your website did give me a flair to understand what Dominant/Non Dominant Hand Writing and Journalling was.

Also, I feel may be I have a bigger purpose. Your stuff resonated with me so much that I felt as if even I could help people as I grew as a person. Even if it may not be as a spiritual teacher, it may be through motivational speaking - as that is something I intend to do.  Thank you for the service you are doing to humanity." 

"I enjoyed your website and was particularly taken with your lighthearted attitude to life in general. Like you I am a fan of Richard Bach and I have been a seeker of truth for many years. There are a few authors such as yourself who resonate with me metaphysically and I always welcome new information as I explore my present incarnation."

"Your writings are extremely inspiring to me.  I am in my second month of sobriety.  I have been in two treatment centers in the last 10 years and have had some beautiful periods of sobriety.  I lost a job and hope back in July last year and gave up.  I have your book around here someplace and have to find it and read it again.  I read it, and found your site back in 2006 when in a treatment center for addiction.  I want you to know that you are appreciated.  Even way over here in Michigan.  I have a good sponsor this time and am taking my time with each step."

"I was on your page for hours the other night .  Your Truths have helped me immensly.  Thank you for being here now"

"Dear Robert
I am a recovering codependent - in therapy 2.5 yrs - separated from my wife 8 months ago. I am also an atheist - I found your pages nicely explained and take much comfort from your kindness and words of love expressed therein.
I wanted to tell you that being an atheist closed off a lot of immediate options for me, but I have found much comfort in the philosophy of Buddhism - other religious traditions are full of the lies and untruths you talk about - not to say that Buddhism does not have it's fundamentalist dogmatic side - but I found it to be most useful in changing my perspective on things.
I realised one day - and I mentioned this to my therapist - that I take great prode in being a scientist, but it is poor scientific practice to close ones mind off from other possibilities. I lived in a closed concretised world view - now i have an new openeness to the possible and I do not have to reduce my understanding by invoking a higher power as the explanation for any unexplained thing.
I agree with your concept of having a strong reaction / wound associated with spiritual words like god. My therapist mentions to me often that i have grown up feeling like I did not deserve god's love (she is a little more religious than I can be, but i know she means it as a statement of loving kindness), and that I felt abandoned by god - a representation of my internal wound having felt abandoned by my parents when I was sent to boarding school.
In terms of my internal dialogue, I do sometimes say "what is the lesson that the universe is trying to teach me here?" but I do not personalize "universe" into some deity concept.

I must say that I have cried a couple of times reading your pages here - thank you for the love and kindness you project out through these pages. I appreciated it."

"First of all thankyou very much for a fantastic website joy2MeU.com I've learnt so much and so many things I wasn't aware of particularly with regard to the Inner Child Concept.
I found your website with the search term "Fear of Intimacy" and as soon as I started reading the article I related to everything you were saying in it, I felt emotional as I recognised myself in what you were describing.
I can understand now how my personality has developed, when i look back at childhood experiences, I can see how I could have created dysfunctional beliefs that have caused me great suffering all my life."

(January 4, 2009)
"I just wanted to write to you and let you know how much your book, The Dance of Wounded Souls, has helped me. I have read a lot of books on codependency, but your book lead me to the real issues. I feel like I'm finally getting to the core instead of just working on the symptoms. I'm 40 years old and have been divorced for ten years. I have attracted one dysfunctional person after another into my life. I reached the point where I never wanted to try to have a love life again. But, I knew that the common denominator was me. That I would have to work on myself before I could have a healthy relationship. Your book resonated with me on so many levels. Thank you so much  for your work and loving insight on a topic that needed to be studied further. You have done it brilliantly and I have recommended your book to several friends. "

"I was quite impressed by your writings, particularly on the subject of Magdalene and Christ...Thank you for your raw courage... Amen."

"I am currently listening to my new discs of you reading your book.  Thank you for putting this all together.  I first went to Al-anon 40 years ago, and from the very first meeting I was "hooked" and on my way to recovery.  Over the years, I have read and studied much along this line - but yours is absolutely the best!!!!!  I don't know how you managed to put all this together ine one package - spirituality, co-dependence, quantum physics, ---but your work is very powerful."

"i need to tell you, i have been in  the field for over 20 years, and just read your book, "dance of the wounded souls"  i believe it is the best book i have read on codependency ever. i shared this with the 12 people iam working with this week, and they all plan on buying it, along with with my peers.  thank you for the great info."

"I know you probably receive a lot of emails, but I just wanted to say thank you for the articles you have on your website. They have been immensely helpful to me, especially your article on setting personal boundaries.  I never actually realized how much control I give to people, but you have opened my eyes." 

"Thank you for your very descriptive and accurate analysis of so many psychological/behavioral questions I have. Your work is truely an insperation that should be used as a model to teach and enlighten the world. I know that there are very few who have even come close to your level of understanding, I have searched for a long time and concider your work to be the only successful find."

"I have found hope and inspiration on your web page.   I think this is the first time I read the term 'internal boundaries'. That phrase resonated like a bell ringing."

"I am quite impressed with your writings on co-dependency.  Although I am not an alcoholic, nor do I eat obsessively, my co-dependent symptoms and the logic behind them are well scripted at Joy2MeU.com.  Actually, I've done alot of reading over the past few years and I've never come across any single book or website that almost point for point addresses the totality of the issues I am working on head-on.    
So I thought I would write this quick email to make contact and thank you for sharing your thoughts.   At the very least, I now know I'm not alone.   In all instances I will incorporate your thinking, which solidifies and expands upon my own, into my recovery plan going forward."

"Your Books and web pages have meant so much to me - I am soon to be 79. Unhappy not to learn these things sooner, AND HAPPY TO BE LEARNING THEM NOW."

"Thanks for your good work.  I would be interested in the Dancing in Light subscription.  I find your ideas interesting and am joyful to hear of your progress.  I can relate to Codependency and was attending meetings for a while. Best regards to you and your expanding work."

"I really like what you're saying. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic and have worked on my codependency for years. I'm now 48 yrs old and still dealing with it. I thought I had it licked but a recently failed romantic relationship really showed me I was wrong. I find what you are saying is deeper than what others have said and for that I am very grateful for your work. I ordered your book and will read it soon. I wish I could attend one of your lectures, but I live in Virginia and it would cost a lot of money to come out there for a one day event. I don't know yet if I need telephone counseling, but I'm glad you offer it. I have a lot of reading to do on your site."

"Thanks for all your insights, they are a blessing."

"I hope someday/somehow you will truly know how much your words have meant to me and helped ME to change my life, I couldn't imagine a more valuable gift from another human being ;-)"

"I just wanted to write to thank you for your website and the material you have made available on it.  I have not purchased your books yet but think I will do so in future.  I have been sooo helped by what you have written here.  It has made me realise what is going on my life, and what I need to do to change it.  Your analogy of not letting your wounded children 'drive the bus' of your life was so helpful.  I can see that this is exactly what has been happening in my life - my wounded children have definitely been driving the bus.  Now I am learning more and more to develop a loving adult and a connection with God that can help to heal those wounded children and so I can reclaim myself again.  Thank you so much."

"Thanks, I've finished the book & found it both helpful & inspiring. I stil read the website almost daily & enjoy that also. Thanks again!"

"Thank you for writing about your friend Robert and his passing.  I lost my best friend to alcoholism four months ago and she died alone also.  She was in a treatment center for eight weeks and stayed alive for five months after.  I was with her for two close calls a couple of years ago with her throwing up blood and I never knew then that she was an alcoholic.  She hid her drinking from me  and when I say that I mean that she would drink a couple of drinks with me in the evening then but apparently she drank more.  Her husband found a lot of empty wine bottles hidden all through the house..  Anyway I think of her often and she was my best friend."

"subject: A brief message from my inner child He found your website, and he wants to say thank you.  Thank you for the time you have spend exploring this emotional disease, and the wisdom that you impart upon it"

"I am working and listening to your audio, and it is just amazing. So right and accurate, and just confirms what I knew for many years. It was only that being in the middle of mostly ignorant people, it was sometimes impossible to believe our own feelings and visions.  Anyway, i absolutely love it, and have recommended to couple of people already."

"A friend of mind shared the her CD's with me.  There was so many words and ideas that resonated with me that I decided to have my own copy plus the book so I can go at my own pace to digest all the concepts that validate what I have been thinking for many years.  You have a gifted way of presenting that material. Thank-you for sharing your gift with those of us who need to hear the message."

"Thank you for your insight at Joy2MeU.com. . . I have found your sight to be very informative and compassionate - so thank you!"

"When i googled codependency your website was one first that i looked at.  That was back in April, but just by reading your website started the little seed that is now a tree of growth.  For that i can not thank you enough.   thank you."

"I also just want to say thank you for your website and work. Just reading some of the material on your website gives me a feeling of hope for positive changes for the future."

"You know, your book has set me free.   As the youngest in a family of five daughters, a strong patriarchial father and a mother who did her best and stayed true to her principles the best way she knew, I am surviving best by staying in as close a relationship as I can with the Mystery.   Thank you, Robert Burney, for helping me discover the wisdom of my own voice.  God bless you."

"I found your writings on the web while studying the topic of codependency. Your insight is truly fascinating and refreshing. Thank you for posting and maintaining your website. Your teachings helped me understand and accept myself and have taught me how to approach love in a healthy, balanced way. I'm a heterosexual male, 33, recently divorced. I'm a full-time musician as well. Thanks to God and yourinsights, I'm happier now than I've been in a decade or so."

"i've been drinking(!) in the information on your site and it's helped me so much already, just to recognise myself and my patterns I want out of this codependance and the toxic relationships i've been attracting. i thank you so much for sharing the information and your experience it resonates with me on every level."

"I found your website by googling "letting go" and came to the page "letting go of unavailable people".  I began to read through the inner child healing pages and the romantic relationship pages about a week or so ago.  I have spend the last 4 days just reading your pages.  I too am in recovery (NA since January 26th, 1988) but still struggle with codependency issues.  I was at my lowest point ever when I found your website.  It is helping although I am still agonizing about losing the guy I met a year ago after many years of being single.  I never thought I would "fall in love" again.  Once we met I ran towards the relationship while he soon began to run away.  We have been doing this dance for a year and it seems hopeless.  I am trying to accept that it is over but my abandoned child will not let me accept it.  The pain is unbearable sometimes.  I really thought when I met him that I had found my  soul mate.  It is not that I can’t live without him but I don’t want to.  I have gotten through many dark times in my 20 years in recovery but this one has practically destroyed me.

When I read about how you were yet again setting yourself up for a birthday alone (mine is next week 9/27) and called a counselor (the one who was going out of town but let you talk to him while he was packing) I reached for the phone and called a number given to me by a trusted professional (my chiropractor) of a holistic healer.    I am seeing her next week and after speaking to her on the phone I know she will be instrumental in getting me to re-focus on my spiritual path.  She does energy work, meditation and other stuff.  I have a wonderful therapist, a solid foundation in my recovery, a wonderful sponsor, and good friends.  I feel so alone though and so unhappy and empty.   I do have a glimmer of hope and am facing my inner child wounds and the grieving process thanks to your website.  Anyway – thank you for writing about your journey.  It has helped me and I will keep reading. "

"I just viewed your website and have been reading your words which have compelled me to write to you.  I think you are phenomenal in your approach to co-dependency and life in general."

"I did resonate a lot with your website-very authentic- and similar to ideas I've explored in my own writing and healing experience from both on an individual and macro level.   I had never thought about codependency the way you described on your site, and I am a poster child for the description you outlined."

"I just want to let you know that i think you are great by the way and your website info has helped me so much as I am going through a tough break up!"

"Reading your website I find you a kindred spirit."

"I googled in parents of addicted children and your wonderful site came up with its inspirational words."

"I would like to say Thank You I knew I was a co-dependent but I didn't know how to love or let myself be loved you have inspired me to take a deeper look at myself and the ghosts that live within. So I can learn to let others in I have found with myself that I only let a little of myself be revealed and didn't know how to have a open and honest relationship. I have always been the one who gave with nothing returned, finding those who were emotionally unavailable knowing that it would always end, that was always my course of action. Reading what I have I know that the first thing is to forgive myself first and to love me, so that others can truly love me.  Once again thank you for the path and to be enlightened."

"thank you for putting such a great work and helping us all to grow and understand.  Love and joy 2 you Robert."

"I am so pleased to have received your wonderful book so quickly.  This has to be the deal of the century. I was awake until 5AM reading all of your additional web pages my purchase gave me access to... what a privilege and an upgrade!!!. (not to mention the  emotional upheaval I anticipated.  Feeling and not releasing has not and does not work for me... I'll have to get to work to get rid of the mental and 'heart congestion'!)"

"I have found reading your website very helpful and look forward to hearing the audio version of your book."

"I wanted to let you know that a Higher Power used your writings to help me. Here's my little story. :)
Recently a friend and I parted ways. I was spending a lot of time thinking about the relationship. One night the serenity prayer came into my head. I found myself going through the lines of the prayer and thinking, "I've always liked that prayer since I was a kid, but I don't understand it." I said to God, "What does it mean? Everything is so fuzzy. There's so much gray area. How do I know what I have control over and what I don't?? I don't understand! I don't know how to apply the prayer to my life." The very next night, I searched for something in google (I can't remember the phrase. It might have included the word shame. Possibly it included the word co-dependency, I can't remember.) One of your webpages came up. I started reading what you had written. Almost immediately, I came upon what you had written about the serenity prayer. I had one of those very special "aha!" "answered prayer" moments. Not only did the meaning of the prayer become very clear to me, and not only was I thanking God for leading me to the site and answering my prayer, but I couldn't believe how much I needed to read what you had written, and how illuminating and helpful and applicable it was to what I was going through. I would read a few sentences, and their power would make me stop in my tracks and reflect, and then I would re-read them before I could go on to the next sentence. It all rang so true. I could relate. It tied so much together. I kept reading/reflecting, reading/reflecting, reading/reflecting. I slowly read pages on your site almost all night (something like midnight - 3 am!). It was a special time. I just wanted to thank you very much for writing your book and creating your website. I'm looking forward to receiving your book! Thanks again!"

"I felt compelled to mail and say I found comfort in this site."

I’m just excited as can be, to proclaim who I am, and what I’m doing.. and feeling.  I found your pages some weeks ago, and have used the knowledge within them, Bigtime!

I suppose the reason for this email is that I had the opportunity to experience something that would have set me back months ago.  Instead of feeling worthless, full of self-hate.. desperate.  I feel all the emotions from the experience itself!   Grief, anger.. acceptance.  I owned them, and they ran their course.  And I’m still here, and feeling whole; as though energy flows in and out of me.  Own it!

It’s perhaps a familiar story for you <or so I read>.. I have been in and out of a dating situation with a highly ‘counter-dependent’ woman, she’s the spitin’ image of a woman that excited you once several years ago.  She’s charming, pulls me in.. but ultimately denies me in one form or another.  I see her fear clearly, I respect it, I do what I can to dispel it within the boundaries I have established for myself.  The final result is the same, from the surface view, inside I am not the same person.  I am in control.. not at the mercy of emotional tides that ebb and flow.  Unbelievable.  I now stand in the face of something that once killed me… unblinking.  It’s working.  And I feel beautiful.  This is my future to keep working for."

"I've been reading your website over the past couple of years, and I always find a paragraph or sentence that speaks to me, as though you knew my story."

"I have been reading a great deal of the content on your site, I find it both enlightening and humbling and very much correct!  Your work is appreciated."

"I bought the Inner Child Healing E-book . .  But I just wanted to say that your e-book really hit the spot. I have been going to Al-Anon for about 2 years and have been working the steps with a sponsor since February and am on Step 4 and have gone through a ton of healing. . . The things that hit me because they are really relevant, was 1) integrating the self, which I am completely focused on, 2) the magical thinking inner child and the critical parent. which is completely me and I am focusing on this because it really affects my life, and the whole concept of love, I am a deeply spiritual person when it comes to nature and almost to a compulsive standpoint but when it comes to men I am attracted to I am filled with fear....and fear is a huge part of my day to day life, though I will admit less so than it was....so everything you wrote about I actually am pretty aware of and working on, but somehow the way you put words to the page really made it jell for me....... So, I know I will go back to this Ebook from time to time just to remind myself of things...... but it just was incredibly timely and "hit the spot" of most of the things that I am trying to kind of mix together..... ANd I guess Love is the key ingredient which for me is fine with nature, dogs and women but really hard with men and myself.....so it is obviously easier to start with me..... THank you for this great piece, and thoughts and insights."

"I have been working on my inner child stuff for a long time.  Your thoughts and beliefs have given a new dimension to my on-going recovery.  I'm also in a 12 step program (al-anon) and that has put a great  many things in prospective for me.  I wish you all that is good and connected."

"I am reading your book at the moment.  Your writings make a lot of sense to me, and are helping me to fill in some of the gaps in my understanding of how it all came about and how it all works.  What you are bringing to the world is so important, it's so important that people who walking the path of recovery themselves are open to sharing their path and learnings with others.  I salute you in what you are doing."

"This is the second copy of the book i have purchased. I lent it to a friend but didnt get it back... so i need another copy to keep handy and keep me on track with life!"

"Terrific timing, just before the New Year, and at a time in my life when I'm most ready to learn from it.  It's resonating more with me than any other book (and many therapy sessions) on the subject, and it comes at a time when I'm opening up much more to things Spiritual."

"Thank you for your work and sharing.  I was lead to this from inner direction and my desire to become healthy. I am ever so grateful that this enlightening information spells out most of it for me so that I can understand more concretely."

"I love your work and feel blessed in finding it."

"I have gotten a tremendous amount of healing from your writings and your book and I am truly grateful."

"Robert – I am thankful to have found your site after a romantic breakup."

"I just wanted to say thank you.  Your website has saved my life!  I have been looking through your pages now for nearly three years.  My marriage was failing, even though it was a load of crap anyway.  My ex husband was as equally co-dependent as I was.  However even now, it was like I had a deep rooted emotional tie, that even still now I feel with him.  However now I recognise what it is and it is not good for me or for him.  However, I am not the same person that I was then. In about May last year, whilst reading through your inner child healing pages, and it felt like everything I tried to control, I had to let go of.  I remember going to see our marriage guidance counsellor and I could not stop crying or shaking, I remember telling her that if felt like I was 11 years old.  I cried and cried and cried.  Actually it only lasted about three days, but it was such a relief to let it all go. . . God guided me to your pages, I wouldn’t be where I am now, if it was not for you. Again, thank you so very much."

"I have been reading a lot of information on your site recently re inner child healing and have found it invaluable.  So much of what you have written about resonates with me completely and I now feel I have got to place where I can understand more fully why I feel the way I do and have chosen the relationships I have in the past.  The great thing is now that I know I can change things going forward!"

"Thank you for being such a beneficial presence on this planet. Your work is so needed at this time!"

"I really gotta say I love reading your stuff I have learned so much clear plain talk detailed emotions, emotions is where I lack in handling I found your web site when I realized that I was co dependent , I can’t wait to read book 2 , I have the first one at home,although I thought the book would have been bigger but I was not disappointed when I read it. Keep up the great writing and thank god for you, cuz know I can learn and so many others I recommend your site to many people, take care and merry Christmas"

"I just wanted to say THANK YOU for putting up your website!!!  I came across it today and I think it's awesome!  As Spirit would have it, I came across it JUST when I needed to!  I have been through A LOT in my life and it's like you said in your site, progress.. that's what it's all about!

My name is _____ and I believe in gratefulness, sharing and letting someone know that they affected your life.  Thank you for affecting mine!  I bookmarked your site and I KNOW I'll be back there later tonight when I have some more free time to read.

Your site is so well written and while reading it, the words just kept making sense to me.  I recently had a life changing event take place in my life and ever since, my growth spurts have been tremendous, and reading your site today, has given me even more!  Again, I thank you for taking the time to help others with your wisdom. "

"upon stumbling to your site within the first few sentances i couldnt quite believe how your very words were telling my whole life story ... You spin your information in such a way that is very admirable,understandable and easy to relate to  ... Thanks for helping me to understand my whole situation in life and thank you for putting that website up ... Believe me pal what your writing is helping wounded people just like myself ... I'm ___ 23 from the UK by the way... You really know how to get to the roots of the problems we face in a way - Keep up the good work :)"

From the Netherlands: "With reading your material I see how it all fits togeteher, and the more I read, the more clearer it gets.  I appreciate that you wanted to share your experience with others, like me. I agree with you that when someone has not done this work him/herself, he/she does not understand the complexity, the phasing/timing and is not the right person to be the therapist. Indeed this profeesor treated me like dirt, placing himself in the one up position and at the start of the session made clear I was out of balance, troublesome for myself and relations. Indeed I run from this man who is a symbol for many more therapists that I have met.
I continue working the healing process. I know it's not a quick fix and I know there have been people before me who have been able to do their work. Indeed as you say as a starting (incest) survivor I need to have some support and acknowledgement. That's in my system until I can fully support on my own feelings. It is scary to look into the dark, but I will. And I know that's the only road to the Light.  With appreciation and kind regards,"

"Robert,   I didn't though that there is someone who felt EXACTLY the way I felt. And I was born an lived in Egypt for all my life (43 years)  It is amazing how people can be alike. . . . And all these deep thinking come from a man! I was sure that only women who were that concerned with there inside feelings, and man just don't have the time for it.  On top of all, you could find the relation with Christ and God, I still didn't get to that part yet, but until now , I really thank you.  Cairo-Egypt"

"I am far away from S Diego,  I live in  Buenos Aires, Argentina, but every word you write becomes a  part of my healing process."

"I am writing to you from India. I a live in New York and came here for the second level of a course I took earlier this year at the Oneness University.  I brought you book along on this journey to read over the course of my stay and managed to read it all on my first day.  It was so on point with how I am feeling and much of what I want to work on during my visit.  Thank you for your book, it has helped immensely in my journey to oneness and self love."



(July 4, 2008)
"I cannot thank you enough for your website. i came across is recently when i was in a crisis and am working through ALL of your articles. You saved my life!"

"Your site is fantastic.  The abundant amount of information that you have provided is exceedingly beneficial to the recovery community. It is so incredible that you have so much information to share with others."

"I've been having a rough couple of months lately, and so I was searching the web for some answers and stumbled across your website. The articles have been so helpful and have really opened up a lot of barriers within myself and have answered/created a lot more questions. It has definitely helped me with my personal growth. Thank you so much for your work, it will most certainly help others and it is really a wonderful gift you are giving to put so many articles on the internet for others to find and gain knowledge from."

"I have read some of your passages on your website…I am a 41 yr old male that has been divorced for 7 years and has had poor success with finding that next relationship.  I recently had a relationship end that brought to surface some incredible grief that was so incredibly depicted in your long excerpt from the Joy2MeU Journal in which you were talking about different levels of letting go." 

"Just so you know, I found your site on google.com, and the information there helped me immensely yesterday and gave me hope when I needed it."

"My girlfriend went off on me today and I googled how to get over an obsession because I wanted to break up with her but I am very in love wither her. I get to your article and I really have to say it moved me. I felt like the article was written about me. Broken house the CONSTANT worrying... everything. I have a fear that if I break up with this girl my world will end. I really think you helped me not get over her but really help myself "

"I have enjoyed exploring your web pages."

"Thank you for your website...you offer some ideas and insights with issues I've been struggling with.  I saw it before (perhaps a year ago) and read it a few times.  I found it again this last week and have been reading through it.  It's been very helpful...thank you."

"I am 30 years of age and have been struggling to cope with my inner children - i didn't understand this until i came across your website. As soon as i started reading about all my inner children.... the words sreamed out at me "This is your life. Now i know what's going on!"

"A few days before i found your website i had a very bizarre experience where i woke up and jumped into a 3 hour conversation with my inner child. No longer screaming and able to talk to me. I had recently taken up Emotional Freedom Technique and this experince came about because i had tapped into something extremely overwhelming... I have now discovered how much healing i still have to do and have found your website a fantastic help - you spend so long living with something you sometimes forget what it is or how to word it. I needed to find the words - thank you!!"

"I have found a lot of healing in just reading the articles.  I have never heard anyone else say that they woke up and just wanted to die too.  It makes sense now.  I don't feel suicidal but see how that has been an unconcious driving force behind a lot of my behaviors."

"Your site is amazing and I am grateful that it is out there for all to see.  It is also very true. I have enjoyed reading it and still have more to explore within your site."

"In November, I went online and did a search for “inner child healing” and your sight came up.  I had no idea how much in return I would get for that search.  Your writings resonated with me so deeply and powerfully, and I have to tell you that many times a week I say a prayer out of gratitude for what you have shared."

"I have found your website an immense treasure of wisdom and healing for me.  Thank you so much."

"thank you so much for sending me the book. my friend had it and i read it and it was so powerful i decided to buy one. i have been in recovery since l990 and am half american and half british. you spoke from the soul and the heart, everything is about love. i was diagnosed aids in 1993 with three hospitilazations and 50 tcells, i am now 62 this year and became a grandmother yesterday, i now have 430 tcells and havent been ill since 1995 with a combo of 12 step recovery modern medicine and powerful alternatives practically vegan now. all my hiv friends have cancer etc because they chose to leave 12 step and are back on the poisons of modern day. i have cherokee blood in my veins and wondered if you had native blood. i am in tune with the great spirit and the earth now and have a good life. thankyou so much for your beautiful words. they were powerfull words from a man on a good journey, in love and fellowship"

"I have been reading and learning so much from your website.  YOU understand me.  What a gift that is!  Thank you so much for the website."

"I want to thank you for all the work you've done on co-dependency. I have your audio book, Dance of the Wounded soul, and I found it very enlightening."

"Even the small amounts I have touched on he website have opened my eyes, my mind and my heart. My life has already begun to change with the first tears that began to roll down my cheeks. When you feel so empty and alone for so long and then realize you are far from alone and there is genuine hope, it is life changing. Thank you again."

"I wanted to say that I love your site and you’ve really helped me in times when I’ve needed it most."

"Thank you for the priceless gift that is your book: The Dance of Wounded Souls. I found your site while googling "how to stop obsessing." And as it always is, I found exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it. As a gift to myself for my thirtieth birthday in March I made the conscious decision to end my near half decade opiate addiction and allow myself to feel the emotional pain and face my Reality, for a greater purpose. At 30, I am just beginning to feel and find who I really am- it's so painful and wonderful and scary and everything all at once! Your book and website- your understanding and explanation of codepedency, is helping me tremendously with my process.  In addition, you have reinforced my belief that some men can and do discuss feelings and emotions honestly and openly... and even want to!  I also want to thank you for re-assuring me I'm not crazy! Your Truth and my Truth are so in-line with one another I felt an instant cosmic connection :-)"

"thank you for such a great and extensive web site."

"i absolutely *loved* how you described the evolution of the term 'co-dependency' on your wounded souls tape -- i see it exactly the way you described it!!! i have never been in a relationship with a chemically dependent person, and yet i found that many of the things being discussed at co-dependents anonymous meetings were *my* issues!  i found CoDA in the late 80s, and went to meetings (at *least*, and usually more often than) once a week, until i had my ten year chip!  it was a *wonderful* experience, and the beginning of my spiritual journey.  i also went through a month long treatment program at the 'bradshaw center' in los angeles in 1990 and did a *lot* of family of origin work, and healing of my inner child(ren).  although i'm not in therapy anymore, i attend a unity church and am addressing the *spiritual* aspects of my healing now!"

"Thank you for posting such valuable information.  Your work is appreciated!!"

"Thanks for the great website.  I wanted to thank you for all the work you put into your website.  I am a recovering abuse survivor, and I'm trying to set boundaries with a very codependent, emotionally manipulative friend.  The information on your site is helping me stick to my boundaries without getting drawn into her drama. Thanks for the great work!"

"i absolutely adore your writing."

"It is with great honor that I write to you to let you know that I was guided to your website and since that day but only a few weeks ago...I have the knowledge to understand that you have a great handle on the TRUTH of this realm."

"Your book Codependence:  The dance of wounded souls and cd set have really resonated deeply with my own healing journey and experiences.  Thank you for such a giving and resourceful website."

"My name is _____ and I am currently training to be a psychotherapist. I live in Ireland and am studying in Dublin. I just wanted to email you to thank you ever so much for all your postings on the Joy2MeU site. I have read your words many many times and still revert to them on days when I am feeling particularly vulnerable. I have taken so much strength and encouragement from your words. Everyones inner journey is different and yet I relate to so much of what you have written, it makes me feel less alone as I continue on my journey towards healing."

"I am looking forward to reading your book, as your writings on your website are great (and helpful)."

"This letter has been stimulated by my discovering and reading your web site. As I went through it, I found much that I appreciated and heartily agreed with . . . .  I came to CoDa almost seven years ago, after a search of many decades. It felt like home to me and has continued to do so. For me too, CoDa is a path of spiritual growth more advanced and more consistently effective than any other I know about. Many of your comments in your web site are reaffirmation’s of understandings and experiences that have come to me also through the program.

And your book "The Dance of Wounded Souls" is being read by a number of members of my regular group and they speak highly of it as supporting their recovery process. I like that you see the issue of codependence as a crucial insight clarifying larger sociological and political processes. This capacity of codependency theory to cast light on other aspects of life demonstrates its value and usefulness. . . . I am glad to have discovered your site and hope it gets the attention it deserves."

"Your work has been of great benefit to my growth, thank you."

"I have been reading many different books on codependence, recovery, and inner child healing.  I came across your website a couple of weeks ago.  It has been very helpful!  Some of the most informative and understandable information I have read so far. . . Thanks for giving so much free info on your website.  It shows you care about helping people and I personally am very thankful."

"Thx for your insights on your web site ­ I keep coming back to it time and time again as I “Google” the latest phase of my life I am trying to come to grips with."

"Yes I am enjoying your website and know I found it by Divine direction.  :)   Doing some homework from my last therapy session I was led to it and it has answered a lot of questions for me.  My therapist asked me to ask myself this week what my fear of intimacy was due to my pattern of wanting to run away a lot and also picking men who are unavailable. Truth is....and don't laugh too hard.....this was after I told her I had filled out some forms for a placement service for the religious life. She said _____ A convent would be the ultimate form of running away and you wouldn't make a good nun! LOL

Truth is I wasn't really sure what intimacy was because I have been running from it for years.  When I finally just let it come up the word and the feeling I got was "death".  I thought death?  Why would one feel that way about intimacy?  How odd.  Then I realized I didn't even know what intimacy was.  So I googled why do people run away from intimacy and up comes your site. It has been so wonderful and enlighting! I have been reading it off an on all weekend. After reading I realized I feared both abandonment and engulfment.  I love my therapist and she has really really helped me but I feel at some point I will be calling you for phone counseling.  Yes, please put me on your newsletter list. I will look into the Cruise but am hoping that you will put on an intensive in the midwest some time.  Thanks again Robert for your generous heart!  Your website must help a lot of people."

"I look forward to recieving the your book - I stumbled across your website at a very difficult time in my life and as I began to read the various entries it felt as if a veil was lifted and for the first time in my life I began to understand how I came to be in the place I have found myself, and perhaps how I can get to where I want to be. Thank you for your generosity in sharing so much wisdom with others via your site."

"I read about grief of deprivation,that you wrote,today,and yesterday I had it.You said,the universe send us the mesegges,and thats thruth.For me is hard to believe,that you write exactly  about the deepest mental proceses,and thoughts,and feelings,that I have.fear of intimacy is realy a serious isssue,something The Universe tells me I shoud work on.Becouse,I suffered of sexual deprivation,and then if even a Beautifull woman tries something,I reject her....later I cannot understand why did I reject her,and stay alone sexualy deprived.See,how strong are emotinal wounds.Anyway again,I am thankfull To You for imposing your knowledge on the internet,for free.."

"I am really looking forward to receiving the book.  From looking at your website, I feel your approach and understanding resonate very well with me.  I have only recently come to a greater understanding of my patterns and your thoughts have helped me to put that into words and to find in that a sense of hope.Thank you,"

"Wow! Robert, your message and the insight it contains needs to be made known to the world!  You are truly an amazing gift."

"I am very new in my walk to overcome my co-dependency issues.  Your website has given me the courage to move forward with hope that in time I can have a happy and emotionally healthy life."

"I would just like to say that I thoroughly enjoy reading your site and find it very rewarding.  It has really helped me moved forward with problems I have had from an abusive childhood and I hope to book some telephone counselling sessions with you in the future, which I hope will move me on even further.   By the way, I found this on youtube the other day and thought you might be interested to hear it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICLp0gmkrYM  Thank you for being so generous."

"I am looking to heal myself and I am progressing well but I realize the more you learn the more you have to learn -- it gets painful and it gets dark.   I have been visiting your website and reading your articles regularly and I find that so much of what you write resonates with me. Thank you for your insight and your work.  I hope that one day I can help others as you have done and continue to do."

"your Web site has been a great comfort to me."

"Thank you for the newsletter.. i find them very helpful..this vibrantly beautiful spiritual being is greatful"

"This is wonderful stuff...found it by mistake.  Are you a psychologist?if not you should be.  my brother is a serious alcoholic..hes in hospital now with dts.....and when he is happy..he says"it is not allowed"but when asked he doesnt know or wont say and he gets vioces saying he is bad etc.
I will show him your writings when he gets out of hospital,as i feel that a lot of it might just ring a bell as he is a very spiritual person as well as liking"spirits" of course!  He is a buddhist by the way.  so thankyou very much for sharing this(if you get this)"

"I am a Unity Minister. . . . I am not sure how I found you...I do know it was surfing and I think it was when I was looking for stuff on codependency.   . . . . I love your site. You have really "given" us a gift on your site Robert.  You give alot and I really appreciate it.  I find your writing and thoughts very profound, clear and thought-provoking.  I resonate with your writing."

"My spiritual partner stumbled upon your site yesterday searching for information on Inner Child Work. I have been doing a lot of personal healing work and growth over the last 15-20 years. Your site and the articles are wonderful. Connecting it all with our spirituality, karmic healing and balancing, Christ-consciousness and more is AWESOME!!!! Wit wll take a while to get through that which resonates (which is a lot of it).  Thank you and may you be continuously blessed for the wonderful work you do!!!"

"It's only really been in the past three days since i've been devouring your articles that i feel the full healing and the acceptance coming in. I don't feel guilt and i know that the guilt was never mind to feel. The people i have hurt with my actions will either forgive or will hold on to that anger from their own conditionings.  I just wanted to say thank you for the insight into all this and that I believe i have finally realized that if we don't love ourselves, we cna't really love others. and if we can't make ourselves happy, no one else can either. "

"I received your book and was so appreciative that you took the time to write a note of encouragement.  Thank you for that.  You should also know that your book is great.  I thank you for taking the time to write it."

"Thank you Robert.  I found your website full of great info.  As I am processing a long marriage of 24 years,  that is now ending in divorce, your information on your CD and book are relevant to my healing and moving forward without a partner until I am strong enough to stand on my own.  Thank you so much for compiling this information for Wounded Souls to find a healing way."

"I just read the above article on your web page. (Obsessive thinking Part 2)  The entire article describes what I am living right now.  Thank you for the suggestions within the article."

"Your articles have given me such insight and have been so helpful in opening my eyes to see myself differently and give me the "permission" to like myself and appreciate the beautiful gifts God gave me. I never knew I was of any value. Thank you so much for your perspective and thank God your work fell into my life just when I needed it the most."

"I bought your book a couple of years ago.  Reading it has been a catalyst for my personal and spiritual growth and getting in to a choice based program.  I am beating Co-Dependency and for the first time in 46 years I love myself.  I look to myself for satisfaction and fulfillment and not another human being or thing.  The Journey has been worth it even while it was hard.  Thank You for sharing your experiences!"

"I've been enjoying your metaphysical approach to relationships via your website.  I'm looking forward to receiving the CD's and listening to them in my car on my way to work."

"Thanks for the book and CDs.  I've read a lot of your web site pages on-line, but the book and audio CD reading of it, really hit home.   I'd first found your site, about a year ago, but wasn't ready at that time to really get into the deeper work I've embarked on now.  I'm sure your materials will be a great help to me."

"I am a 21-year who just graduated form undergrad and am in my first semester of Grad school.  All of your words ring very true in my heart and it's like all these bells and whistles going off in my head. Often it is those of us who are most sensitive, kind, and compassionate in our hearts that are hurt most by parents and people who stumble blindly around with their own wounded selves and since we feel that we must somehow heal them we become very wounded ourselves."

"I love what I've read on your website. "

"I would have loved to attend your workshops because your words so resonate with the forgotten knowledge in my soul.  I have yet to read everything (the Universe has led me to you but 3 days ago), but already you have brought me much clarity and comfort and hope.  I live all the way here in the Philippines, so making it to the workshops is pretty tricky. (-%  Still, who knows, we do travel there every now and then.  Next trip I'll be sure that it coincides with some of the sessions.  Thank you so very much for sharing your wisdom with us.  I will have you know, that you just spared me my sanity."

From India: "I appreciate the commendable work you have done!!"

"i have found your book - dance of wounded souls beyond description. i am in a twelve step program. my mother died a few years ago and i need the stuff in your book to be true. it has such a ring of truth to it unlike anything else i ever read. i have tried many scams before but i don't find anything about your words scammy. and i am a very skeptical questioning person."

"Your website is amazing and I have recommended it to my fellow counselors. at the very least, I will order your book, to help me, and hopefully eventually my clients. . . At any rate, thank you for your site and your honesty and I look forward to reading your book"

"The information you're giving out is amazing!"

"l stumbled across your website about four years ago when l started taking a dance around pandora's box. Well lets say l had a peak and it scared me, the thing is as you know once it's open... it's open.  Well four years later lm starting to delve deeper, really peeling those onion layers! Tonight, l had some emotional clearing come up and tried to squash it down until l could no longer and the tears came rolling down. When it was over l got onto the net and guess what? After, four years l stumbled across your website again!

l wanted to thank you for the literature you have provided on your site it is very helpful and the style of your writing is reassuring. l even managed a giggle when l read "I would end up crying in a rubber room for the rest of my life. That if I ever really owned the rage, I would just go up and down the street shooting people". May you be the recipient of many blessings "

"Just wanted to thank you for all the awesome material you have made available free online!!!  I am looking forward to getting your books..  my Spiritual Partner and I are both excited about finding this material"

"Hello.  I have to say that when I read your article on "Fathers", particularly the part about the additional way that fathers wound their daughters, I felt completely validated.  For years it was a joke in my family that "Daddy stopped hugging me when I got boobs."  But it was true!  I had been a daddy's girl until I hit puberty and then I couldn't do anything right...not that I could before, but I really was dealt his wrath after I developed physically. . . . . . Thank you for putting in print the feeling that has dominated my life for the last 30 years!  It is liberating to know that I wasn't alone or ridiculous for feeling this way.  Perhaps now I can begin to heal."

"Just recently, I read some of your writings on co and counter dependency and was amazed to see how well the descriptions that you provided were so right on the money, as a description of our parents, while growing up, and that made no sense to me as a child, as well as all the stress and frustration produced for all of us."

"I am enrolled in a Clinical Pastoral Education Program at the Veteran’s Hospital in ____.  A large portion of our program is Psychotherapy training and WOW am I glad I stumbled onto your web site.  I ordered your book “The Dance of Wounded Souls” and I am very excited to learn more.  I, being co-dependent myself, think that this book and some of the other points brought up on your website help drag out some really deep issues into the light.  Thank you and please keep up all the great writing!!"

"Your website is totally amazing.  I stumbled upon it recently while looking for articles related to obsessive thinking - in order to heal my own.   What I found was information on that topic and so much more.  Thank you for publishing your work like this, making it so easily accessible and understandable.  I'm on to reading about romantic relationships, with hopes that I will also find answers and healing within your articles.  Thank you for your colossal efforts in putting this website together.  Please know that they are helping me, and I'm sure many others, tremendously."

"Thank you for your writings. They helped to convince me of my issues that I have been facing in life. I suspected the cause but I needed to confirm the insight. Your writings have assisted in that regard."

"I just wanted to express my gratitude for supplying such eye-opening information on your website.  It is so greatly appreciated! . . . The reason I am sending this lengthy, way too much information e-mail, is to thank you, because I stumbled across your website just today when doing a Google search for "personal boundaries," because I had absolutely no clue what that meant, and I'm waiting for self-help books arrive and counseling to start.
Thank you for making this information available to the public!  I have spent the entire day reading your website with your valuable information  -- and I now have a place to start with myself immediately, instead of having to wait."


(March 19, 2008)

"I just wanted to send a small note to thank you for taking the time and effort to explain so thoroughly this "void" that I have lived with my entire life. Recently, after ending a relationship that I knew should be over I had the same horrible feelings that I had felt so many times before. Even though I knew that the relationship needed to end I could not rest in the fact that I had done the right thing. All the same emotions came rushing back that hurt to my very core. After a talk with a friend he suggested that I do a little research about fear of being intimate, abandonment, guilt and so on. That is when I found your sight and began reading. For the first time in my 45 years did I have a clue what was going on in my brain, my body and with my emotions. My God, who knew. It all makes perfect sense now. For the first time in my life I feel peace. I am actually excited about learning and healing the part of me that has confused me for so long. I am now in the process of reading and living your pages on healing my inner child. Again, thank you for making this information available and changing my life."

"I want to thank you for all of your wonderful articles on your site. I have been searching for so long for an answer and when I found your site I was so excited I cried. It seemed like everything I read you wrote just for me right down to the part about your last relationship. . . I have never felt so peaceful in my life though and I have hope. Thank you so much and I hope you are blessed beyond measure."

"I continue find your website a fabulous tool to assist with the business of a real life.  Thank you."

"I have been tirelessly reading your online articles and they have been of great help to my healing.  I find myself emerging from suffering and confusion into happiness, understanding and serenity. It must be an amazing feeling to know that you have brought peace and happiness to so many.  With love and deepest gratitude."

"Thank you very much for sharing on your web pages. I found the way you write so honestly about your own experience very moving, and there was so much I could identify with."

"I have spent a lot of time on your website the past month and recently purchased your book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.  I absolutely loved it.  I can not thank you enough for your work.  Thank you for opening up your heart and soul.  Reading your book and the writing on your website has brought me so much peace and comfort at a time when I needed it most. . . . I am currently writing an autobiographical book and would like to know if I can use parts of your book as quotes included in my book.  I can honestly say that you have explained my life through your book and also changed my perspective on how I view life forever.  By profession I am a Psychiatric Nurse and will be incorporating this invaluable information in to my practice.  It is going to allow me extend a wonderful path of healing to many.

I want you to know I am thankful for knowing about you.  Thank God there are people like you out there spreading the good news.  This is something that is going to transform the world.  Again, thank you for all you do.  Also, thank you for signing my copy of your book.  I appreciate you taking the time. much love..."

"I love your book--I think it is genius"

"I accidentally- no let me rephrase that - I went onto google and typed "self love" your website was one of many that appeared. My soul led me to your site - I am completely wow'd. It's just what the dr ordered. I have not read the material on it in concetration but have skimmed through the pages and I am wow'd. I've printed some stuff which I'll be reading tonight at home - I cant wait.  Thanking you for such a lovely website of enlightenment - I hope to get more from your site and will advise you accordingly and if there's anything to add I will do so."

"Thanks for the amazing work you have done on your own recovery and for your courage in sharing that process with other sufferers.  Over the last week or so I have spent hours reading,  thinking and feeling about a great deal of the information on your website.  When you describe the illness of co-dependence, you are writing my biography.  I have already gained a new perspective on my life and some hope for a different future from the material you have provided."

"Your website is quite amazing and anticipate it taking me a very long time to get through it all."

"I wanted to say that I find your website very educational and helpful.  I can relate to so much of what you say. . . . Thank you so much for providing so much helpful information on codependency...  You really are a blessing!"

"I read your book "The Dance of Wounded Souls" yesterday. And again today. The first time, I could hardly get through it. I had no idea what you were saying. Yet, a few passages resonated and I decided that I needed to re-read the book. I have found your book, for me, to be life changing. I am 43 years old and I don't believe I have ever known the "gut" feeling of Truth that I had when I understood that my inner 5 year old was "driving my bus" (and has been for as long as I can remember). Codependence has been SO EXPENSIVE in every way in my life that I can't even describe it. I am still reeling from this first hint of recovery. I have been attending CoDA for about three months and have introduced myself as "codependent". The next time I share, I will use "recovering codependent"."

"I just wanted to send you an email to thank you for all your work on codependency - it has helped me greatly in so many many ways"

"I just wanted to say, I have been visiting your site for a little more than a year. I also have a copy of your book. I have benefitted so much from your writing, and I even found ACoA because of it. . . . The second thing is that I think you are too apologetic about your pay section of your site. I was happy to pay. You have given so much to me. If people do not wish to pay, then I think that it is their own problem. But I was more than happy to pay, and actually a little off-put that you had apologized for having a pay section. You need to make money too, and you are helping people in the best way possible! All power to you!"

"I am enjoying your writtings Thanks for making then available"

"Hey, I really like this article on Happy holidays, Sad holidays. I am  just noticing this year as well that I am around my friends and feeling deeply sad, and I hadn't been thinking about the joy I also feel. Reading this article reminds me that, yes, I can feel more than one feeling at once. I can feel deeply sad, that might be the strongest feeling, but when I define my self in that moment by it then it is an untruthful accusation. I am not "sad" or "suicidal", I am feeling sad but also lots of other things. Thank you for writing this article for this time of year :) I  appreciate having it to read when I am going through this time, and likely to forget some of the subtler details."

"I appreciate your site and your words."

"I love, love, love, did I say, love your book! "The Dance of Wounded Souls" is what I hope everyone in my group will have the opportunity to read. I have looked for a book like this all my life. Like I said in a previous email, I was sitting here minding my own business and your name appeared. I am so grateful for the Divine unfolding. I can't thank you and Him enough. My journey has been a long one. I wouldn't change a thing. Your book feeds my soul."

"I found your website very valuable. So much made sense to me and my life at the moment."

"I found your wesite last night and I amazed at how it describes me to a "t".  I know I can benefit greatly from Robert Burney and Joy to You and Me.  Thank you."

"Tonight I have spent 5 hrs off and on the computer, discovering that yes, indeed, there's a factor of co-dependency alive and well in me. I started out looking for something for someone else, and ta da -- found me. Why am I not surprised?  Ultimately, I have found your site, and tho I haven't read an nth of what I shall, I've read enough to believe you (your site) will be a valuable resource.  Thank you for the massive amount of work that has gone in to making the site, for the journey to Self that you openly and freely share, and for the continued work you carry forward."

"Hi. I find your essays on boundaries very helpful."

"I've just found your web site and am thrilled with the contents,i've also ordered the book and cd set as well,i've been in recovery for a number of years and am just now getting to the core issues,,my relationship broke up 8 month's ago with my partner,,a very sick individual,,,and i've been in an awful lot of emotional pain since,,,they've moved on with ease,,(when you dont look at yourself it's easy to do that),,any how i just wanted to say thank you and i look forward to dissecting this site and soaking it in,,it was found at the perfect time on my part."

"I found your information by Googleing "How to stop obsessive thinking." I loved what I read and it all has fit me to a "T.""

"I want tell you that I am so grateful that I have found your website. I have had revelations on my condition from reading your through your writings.  I can deeply relate to so much of what you have written.  Its like you have followed me around my entire life and wrote it just for me. Your writings have helped me tremendously."

"Dear Robert .... Thank you!  While doing some searches on Jesus and Mary Magdalene and related topics, I stumbled into your sites .... divine intervention. . . . I am overwhelmed to find confirmation on your website of many conclusions I have come to myself through independent study, meditation, dreams, and prayer.  . . . . I had never before reading your website connected "Wounded Inner Child" as a form of PTSD .... it makes incredible sense, and I will certainly keep it in mind in my counseling work....and in my own life!"

"It feels like a miracle that I found your site."

"I am very much looking forward to getting started on a path to recovery. I have purchased an intial telephone counseling session. I have read your book and listened to the tapes over and over again. I put the tape on when I go to bed at night, when I wake up in the middle of the night I put it on and when I wake up in the morning, I listen to it. I have done this for the last five days in a row. I want to do the work that needs to be done."

"I have not contacted you in awhile. we did a few phone counseling sessions in the past and I have emailed you from time to time. I wanted to wish you a Happy Holiday. Your website has guided me on my path of trusting the universe. It makes sense out of the nonsense and I am grateful for you. So again thank you."

"I have tears of thankfullnes at receiving your reply! It has given me even more hope to explore and understand the impact of my "childhood" and inner child that is getting in touch again.  I shall continue to visit your site and will be buying your book as soon as possible! I live in the Netherlands and am so glad to have acsess to you via the internet.......Thanks again so much for your time and efforts to pass on your knowledge and experience."

"It was some time I contacted you to thank you for you book......I beleive I contacted you from a different email back than. Since dealing with my child hood abuse issues and learning to love myself I have come out of the closet. I am walking in love and peace with my husband and he is handling things pretty well considering.  I wanted to thank you as your book and site helped me out so very much. . . . Much love to you and thank your for all your loving support."

"What a great heart you have. I feel really lucky to have found you and your work."

"I started finding web-sites like yours it gave me clarity, WOW!!!!!, when I found you're site holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . . .  I can tell from you're site you are full of compassion and will give me some advice."

"My therapist gave me a series of articles to read which prompted me to go to your website.  What I have read so far has been incredilby helpful."

"Hi Robert, my name is ______ and i just want to start by sayin a big THANKs to you for the work you are doing. It has been invaluable to me on my own journey of healing! I can only imagine the countless others that you have helped, it seems without much thought of personal gain! . . . I love the emotional healing aspect of your work, which certainly resonates strongly with me!"

"Since I have found the website, joy2meu, I have been profoundly enlightened"

"thank you so very much your book has touched my life greatly, I have been recommending it to everyone I know~ I sure orders will be coming in soon~ but mostly I pray that it will touch my friends and all others that I have suggested to purchase your book , and it will inspire them to make a change in their life for the better~ Again, I wish I had the time to tell you my story, it has been an amazing journey~ from a extremely abusive childhood to homeless to almost losing my life from a 21 year eating disorder ( praise God ~ I have recovered, out of 5 of my friend's I was the only survivor)~ So in short~ thank you and God blessings upon your life,"

"Thank you for your exceptionally useful, wise and insightful site, Joy2MeU. . . the content of the site is adult, well researched and deeply meaningful."

"I don't usually send letters to writers, musicians or other famous people, but as I looked over your site again I just thought why not send thank you?  3 years ago when I discovered I was addicted and codependent, I read your site ALOT along with books by Melody Beattie and Pia Mellody and I absolutely thank you from the bottom of my heart for having your writings online and accessible to all, it's a beautiful gift to your fellow mankind and is so helpful.  I had no idea about boundaries. Now I protect myself a lot better and am a much nicer person :)"

"Thank you for your amazingly helpfull site."

"I am so happy to see that your webpage still exsists. It's been many years since I have been on but your webpage was there, when I needed it most. I learned so much about life with you and your understandings. . . I just referred your page to friend and I thought hmm.. I should go on it too. Can't wait to start reading again and healing another part of my life."

"Thank-you for everything you have posted on your website!!!  Your revelations you have typed about Co-Dependency are truly already transforming me, and truly truly I am full of joy for finding this, and giving all the glory to my beautiful God!!! :) I know He lead me to your site!!! I am so happy, this is exactly what I needed at this time! :)"

"Thx for your response, I really appreciate it!  I can only imagine how busy you are!!  Thx again for sharing with me, I will do some reading.  You are truly gifted and in the Divine Flow. May God continue to bless you"

"I did not expect to hear back from you personally, what a pleasant suprise.  When I googled obsessive thinking and your website came up,  I could not stop reading your articles.  I had to purchase the book. I look forward to reading the book!"

"your website has been very helpfull."

"You have no idea how deeply you have touched me!  I am a little boy who was prevented from exposing my emotions.  Now, I am a person, not yet a man, who was not able to express my emotions to myself or anyone else.  I've been reading your information now for the past four days, and I can't stop gleaning the information that I crave.  For the past three days, my spare time after taking care of the everyday things that need to done, is spent reading your works and then evaluating my inner self.  I have never had such a clear view into why I am the way I am.  I've sought out the help of a friend, who is a therapist and I believe that I am on the path of recovery now.  I at least can see a light at the end of the tunnel, or that black hole that you so vividly depict.  The therapist that I am in contact with is hired by the Police Dept that I work for, just to ride with each of us every once in a while for us to bounce things off of.  Through my interaction with him and the descriptions that you offered of going through that black hole, I can tell that he has already done that in his own healing.  He is a recovering alcoholic.  It is my goal/hope that one day I will be a person that is capable of Love and being Loved.  I think that as that occurs, I will not be the lonely little boy full of saddness and insecurity any longer!  I just wanted to say Thank You for putting your experiences out there for others to find and use to their benefit."

"It was wonderful to receive your holiday message (referring to December Update) and I will be sharing it with our Nar-Anon Group.  Blessings to you and your family too!"

"thank you for the great work you are doing Robert.  I continue to be one of your supporters and admirers and quite often give out you web site to my own clients."

"I cannot even begin to express how much your writing has profoundly impacted my life.  I discovered your writing when I set out to find out why I continually found myself in abusive relationship after abusive relationship despite recognizing the signs of abusers.  An internet search took me to your writing on emotional incest which I read in absolute amazement as it described my relationship with my father with astounding accuracy.  I continued to read the other writings on your site and could not order Codependence, The Dance of Wounded Souls quickly enough.  Your writing paved the path for my discovery and identification with  Adult Children of Alcoholics.  I embarked upon the journey to the core of the tightly weaved layers of the dysfunction in my family and the manifestation of the dysfunction throughout my entire life.  I often read aloud passages from your book, and this piqued the interest of others and I soon found myself introducing the concepts from your writing to them.  I suddenly knew with absolute clarity the direction my life was meant to follow, and made the decision to pursue a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and will start in the fall."

"i find your site very informative and can relate to some of the information and some of the other info certainly gives me a different perspective."

"I have just read through part of your site (I'm new to it) and write to express my gratitude to you for your writing about the process of your relationsip (1998/9).  I realise this is old 'history' now and you are doubtless moved on to continuing life adventures.  Nevertheless, writing about your own process has given me MUCH clarity about a recent relationship/ending.  I have been in a screaming heap over this but am now starting to put together the story that fits, and through this process, start to believe (and SEE actually) that I am now more likely to have the thing I want which is a (real) relationship. Thank you."

"I've just read your book and found it to be extraordinarily helpful."

"I poked around the web looking up emotional child abuse and trust issues.  I found your site and all became clear. . . I have dealt with so much that I am sort of bummed there is plenty more to uncover release and heal, but I have come far enough to know this wounded part of me is not all of me."

"So I got on the internet and the first thing I came upon was your website.  The first paragraph of Obsession/Obsessive thinking part 1 hit like a rocket.  “Being in our heads ? thinking, fantasizing, ruminating ? is a defense we adapted in childhood to help us disassociate from the emotional pain we were experiencing.  WOW!!!!!  This has been my life since the age of 5 years.  I don’t know of any other way to live.  I can tell you that I just can’t bear the thought of living the rest of my life with this pain."

"I would like to express my gratitude to you for your website. . . . I wrote, mainly, to let you know that your site, your words, your insight, your guidance served as footprints next to me in the sand tonight.  I was asking for guidance to calm me and a term popped in my head.  "Obsessive Thoughts".  I Googled this term and found you.  Funny thing is that I have been writing about Joy and me/you, you/me......today I was contemplating renaming myself Joy.  All just hints so I would recognize your site.  Syncronicity never ceases to amaze me. "

"Just wanted to say, brilliant work. My wife and I are both incest and child abuse survivors and learning what we’ve learnt from your website has pushed our individual recoveries far further along than we could have previously imagined. So thank you.

I made this posting on survivors forum:  I would recommend that everyone on this site and any other abuse, mental/emotional health, Alcoholics Anonymous, Al Anon, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, BPD, Victims of Domestic Violence websites etc start learning about the true definition, the true nature of codependancy and it’s causes and effects. I would recommend the first place to start is a site called www.joy2meu.com  I don’t think there is anybody else who has been able to gather all the information and demonstrate it verbally or in print as well as the man who created this site."

"Lovely website. Well written."

"This is the best book I have ever came across dealing with these issues... it feeds my soul. I can't think of a better description."

"Im 21yrs old from Sydney, Australia. Over the past months I have been uncovering and adventuring through the path of recovery. I have found your website the most insightful so far. When i started on my journey I found most of the information I found helpful to my cause but my not fulfilling to my overall understanding. I still had this internalised feeling of doubt and suspicion over my newly acquired perspective. Though, with all honesty the thoughts you put forward have filled that gap and inspire and motivate me on my path."

"Thank you for sharing some of your writing on your website.  I haven't gone through the 12 steps but i was intererested in reading about your perspective on spirituality. For some reason it doesn't suprise me that even though i haven't been through the 12 steps, i have been "forced" to go through a similar transformation that you describe in powerlessness to empowerment."

"Thanks for the richness of your website. I almost could heal with just that."

"I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have happened upon your website.  I have come to realize most recently that I have what they call "obsessive behavior".  I am no expert of course, and as far as I know it only exists during, but mostly after, romantic relationships that I have been involved in, and as I was searching for information on line regarding this, I came across your website. . . .After reading a few of your articles I couldn't believe how much I connected with what you were saying, it's as if you were talking about me and my life, and although reading is wonderful and enlightening, I need more."

"Well i have to say thank you for your insightful web pages. . .  these articles all ring true for me."

"I am enjoying your book greatly. . . I do not like to read that much but your book is quite interesting.  The majority of the information makes complete sense.  It is nice to know that I am not a screwed up hopeless cause.  I feel empowered to make changes and do not feel guilty for seeking out help to be a happy, healthy person.  I want to be a postitive role model for my children as well.  I have spent far too much of my life being bitter and owning that bitterness as part of my identity.  I did not want to forgive or let it go because I felt I would loose part of who I am.  However, I was only preventing myself from giving and accepting love and joy.  Thank you for your book."

"I just found your great website in my search for a CODA meeting."

"I guess I just want to say thank you for your site; it has helped me in so many ways.  Most importantly, it clarifies all the work that I've been doing over the past 14 years...I'm finally understanding and forgiving. Again, thank you so very, very much!"

"All I can say is WOW!   I Googled this morning and the first site I landed on was yours."

"Another relationship(really learning lesson) for me just ended.  I had become sick of this.  I know codependency well.  I went back and reviewed my life and came up with variuos triggering incidents, had a list of issues, main two being that of "trying to prove to my mother that I was good enough,"  and to be complete I needed to be in a relationship.  In fact all of my relationships followed these lines.  I was not sure how to address these and begin the healing process.  I found you on the internet.  The rest is history, and your book arrived at the appropriate time.

I cannot put into words the enormity of help and comfort and potential for healing that your message brought to me.  My list of issues was validated, and as I read the book, it was as if I was reading an autobiography.  Many of your ideas, I have had and know them to be true,  I lacked the confidence and trust in myself and love to know them as true.  During the three days that I have been reading your message, there have been four triggering events that brought me to tears.  Before I began to read, my eyeballs hurt, no headache just the pain of eye strain.  With my emotional release, the eyeball pain is gone.  All I know is that the God-force was preparing me to begin dealing with the couped up emotional pain.  I know it is only the beginning, but I embrace the journey with a more appropriate attitude.

I will continue to process your message, and with God's help, grow stronger and help the universal evolutionary process.  I will always be mindful of integration and balance.  Thank you, and I truly appreciate the message that you brought to me at the proper time.  Needless, to say I will be referring your book to anyone that will listen."

"well, if so, then hello robert. i just came across the website that featured your 'healing the child within' articles. i wanted to say that every single thing in them matches what i've been learning in counselling. i found it reassuring to read the articles as it was a reinforcement that someone else (besides my counsellor,) understands what i am going through.

i found your explanation of feeling the feelings and how you thought if you allowed yourself that right you'd end up crying in a rubber room for the rest of your life, quite accurate! in fact, almost every day i feel i am masochistic for allowing myself to "go there." i feel quite alone in the process, as most people around me simply self-medicate and must think i'm quite self-absorbed with all of this "healing" business.  and the fact that no special alien can come down and heal me/there are no secret codes/pills/time limit resonated with me as well...i've often wondered if my soul had been plagued with some sort of grief a shamanistic healer could free me from. also, the harder i try to clean up my life (quit drinking, go to therapy, etc.) the WORST i seem to be...because the "pandora's box" is indeed open, and i am feeling for a change. it's no fun, huh?. . . . . ps: i can REALLY relate to those articles...the more i think about it, the more i can. the part about 'trust' just popped in my mind...it's so true---i'm always suspicious because i don't know who to trust because what we naturally felt as kids was told was wrong or inappropriate. GOD, what a waste of time all this regressing is haha."

(November 8, 2007)
"The Dancing in the Light stuff is awesome! It hits me like a lazer beam. It is all very profound. I am getting it. I finally understand totally about coming from a place of woundedness. This path I am on is all very strange., I am getting so many answers.. a lot of guidance. I am finally relying on me instead of wanting someone else to do it for me. . . . the emotional vampire info changed my relationship with my father. I just dont go there anymore with him.. Man oh man.. I was really giving myself away to him. And others too!  I am excited about getting your book. This information is priceless... I am so grateful you wrote it."

"We've listened and loved your CD version, and now want the book to go along with it. We are both very active AA members."

"Thanks for the book and cds, and especially for the personal dedication of the book, which you most likely write in every book you send, which is in my opinion utterly cool! :)  I have devoured your website quite thoroughly in little over a year, that I've been on the strenuous but, oh, so rewarding path of recovery. It was now the time for me to buy the book from which it all started sprawling. I've read the material of the book in citations on the articles on your site several times, but I wanted now the full and original version of the book that has had such an impact on me and had created such shivering resonance in my Soul. The CDs are absolutely a mind-blowing audiospiritual experience! You rock, man!! It's one thing to read the articles on the clinically electric computerscreen and completely another level of involvement hearing the man himself utter his own words of wisdom and spiritual alchemy. One can tell that you aren't just mumbling through a book you've written; while listening it becomes certain that the message truly is your spiritual truth and not just some neatly packaged intellectual mindjob disguising itself in spiritual language. And for a work-in-progress production the quality of the audio is solid. I dig the vintage cassette feeling that has remained on the CD-version quite nicely. A slight indie/garage resonance enhances the street-cred-value of the recording it most certainly deserves. Cult stuff, indeed! ;)

An enormous THANK YOU for sharing your story and perspective for all the world to see, I truly appreciate it, man!"

"After reading your website it felt like I was drinking water after being in a desert for 30 years."

"My name is _____ and I have been following your work via your web site from almost the beginning and I have been tremendously impressed with it. Your work is more comprehensive than anyone I have seen in the recovery field ever. In fact it is almost overwhelming."

"These are some of the best articles I have ever read. Thank you for sharing your insight and experiences."

"A therapist recently suggested I look into inner child healing, so I was surfing around the internet today and came upon your site - Wow, what I read was nothing short of amazing.  The painful and confusing thoughts I had been having really re-formed to make sense after reading some of your articles."

"I just found your web-site and have to say  that you said in one page what I have been trying to articulate (to my self first and then to others) for years.  THANK YOU for your work and the way that you express your truth.  This is a great site and I am thankful I came across it. I look forward to spending some more time here and checking out your other writings as well. Thank you sincerely"

"I am greatly enjoying your work on the Joy 2 Me and U website.  I have never seen such a wonderful collection of writings in one place.  My feelings about life are very closely aligned with your work, and I am finding it invaluable. . . Thank you so much for your time and help, and thank you for your wonderful articles.  I look forward to reading more of your work in the near future."

"Your website was a blessing.  I cried as I read all the pages that I could within 7 days.  I was obsessed with it.  So I thank you."

"First of all thank you so much for your trust in your intuitive guidance it has lead you to put out information that will help many people. It has helped me thru a tough time recently and I am very greatful to you."

"I LOVE your tape !!!!!!!!!!!  YOU ARE AMAZING~~~~YOUR VOICE IS AMAZING, YOUR MESSAGE IS AMAZING. I have a NEW problem~~I didn't want to go to SLEEP I wanted to stay up all night and just listen to the tape !!!  And I turned it on first thing this morning and didn't want to LEAVE for work!!!  What a problem~!~!

It is so amazing.  The words just go right into my soul~~~~~~~~~ I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy.  Thank you so much for sharing your recovery with all of us.  This is the BEST gift I've had in a long time. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I have been looking at these web pages and it has released so much anger and sadness in my body. thank you for sharing."

"I read many of your articles in internet. They are so clear and so right on to my mind and heart. Thanks for your works in this area."

"Thank you so very much!!!!!  To start with I immediately felt special when you signed my copy of your book. . . . . It is not unusual for me to drive 200 to 400 miles a day.  Needless-to-say, I listened to your 3 CD's in 2 days. What a wonderful experience!!!!   I am HIGHLY suggesting to my 6 sponsees (we're in NA and I have 16 years clean)that we are going to have a "Celebrate Burney and Humaness" day free from shame and perfectly human!!!  Your willingness to share your experience ,strenght, and hope are greatly appreciated............so, Thanks to you sir!!!!"

"Much of what you have written on your web site resonates deeply with me. I am from an alcoholic, emotionally abusive/neglectful home and much of what you have written describes my resulting codependent patterns."

"I've already healed a lot of issues from applying what you say on your website. I love your website so much and it has helped change my life. your book will be icing on the cake."

"I finished reading your book Dance of the Wounded Souls.  I just wanted to write and thank you for your experience and your insight. It is a shame that we have to get beat up by the stream or beaten with the stick so many times before we learn an easier way isn’t it? . . .  Many blessings to you and I hope you know that if you had blinded me in a previous life, you have indeed repaid your Karmic debt."

"You have done some amazing work and I applaud you for the courage to share everything you have."

"I remember reading and enjoying your book years ago, though I don't believe I was ready for it at the time.  I am now diving into recovery through 12-step and counseling (who knew I belonged here?!) and it is not an easy journey.  I had forgotten about the book (misplaced it, loaned it out....) until just now when I came across your website again. Funny.....everything seems to be coming full-circle these days! . . Thank you for sharing your wisdom and healing energy."

"Hi Robert~ I just want you to know how much you/ your book has inspired me~ I beieve with all my heart that God brought me to your site and I have been truly blessed~ I thank you."

"My biggest problem in all my recovery/healing was forming the spiritual aspect... and I really relate and agree with your view on it. Especially how Paul really f-----d it up with our relationship with spirituality. I think I can finally get over the blame/shame that Catholicism embedded in me, and live happily, joyous and Free! I still go to my 2-3 very strong support groups/meetings a week, but I now have so much more to share, relate to and pass on."

"I received my book today and I am just dancing!  You see about a year ago when I was dealing with repressed memories of childhood abuse I found your site.   I always wanted to get your book but did not. The other day I was at a sweat lodge and great healing came about but it brought me back to your information.  The book spoke to get it.

Little did I understand why but I opened to a section about touching and expressing love no matter what gender and I was just shouting from the roof tops.  I have been working through this very issue. . . . . God I can not tell you how free it makes me feel to know I was not wrong for what I was feeling and desiring to express.   It felt soooooooooo trapped as I was made to feel it was sooooooooo wrong.   I am not talking about anything to violate the trust, repect or boundries of another but just freedom of touch in general.  I have always been a touchy feely person and it has been hard at times Robert.

I look foward to reading you book all the way through.  I am seriously thinking about starting a support group and if I do I would like to use your book with your permission of course.   I noticed that I can order in bulk quantity.  I cant express my gratitude to you Robert.   Oh and Yes..........thank you sooooooooooooo much for taking the time to sign my book copy.    YOU ARE THE BEST!  HAVE A WONDERFUL VIBRANT RADIANT DAY MY DEAR BROTHER."

"Your website and book have helped me more than I can say. I love the way you write."

""The Dance of Wounded Souls" did change my life. Thank you."

"I wanted to tell you thank you for your website and all of the articles you write…I was searching for websites on codependence and stumbled upon your great works and now I read a “chapter” a day. I can’t tell you the INSPIRATION you have instilled in me to want to get to know my SELF better and own my SELF, and all that comes with it."

"Just want to say that I have been researching some of your work and for the first time ever I feel relaxed content and at peace despite my life being sheer hell at the Moment."

"I have truly enjoyed reading the articles on your website thus far.  I am certain I will enjoy the book more.  Thank you so much for the free information.  I have just ended a very emotionally abusive relationship that ended in physical abuse and have been struggling for answers.  Your articles were so refreshing that I instantly felt better after reading a couple of them."

"Thanks for sharing your ideas with those of us who can truly benefit from the knowledge you've assimilated."

"I borrowed your book from a friend and liked it so much that I wanted a copy for myself and my husband.  We are therapists/life coaches and find your book a great resource for our clients.  I will be referring many people to your book and website.  We have been in Private Practice for 32 years and are always looking for good resources for our clients.  Thanks for writing this great book."

"Hello Robert, I just finished listening to the tapes and I am so happy that I am able to send you a letter of thanks, and tell you how much I enjoyed every word. I laughed out loud many times and related on so many levels."

"I have found your book extremely insightful and want to buy one for my therapist."

"I just discovered your site and want to thank you for such wonderful information.  What a gift you have provided!  I've only just begun my journey on healing my inner children, and your site has given me the start that I so desparately needed.  Thank You!"

"I simply want to say, "thank-you" for your site.  I am a recovering codependent, and have been on the road to recovery since 2000.Your site contains the best information I've found on codependency and recovery."

"Recent circumstances in my life led me to your website, which absolutely resonates with me - more than any other self-help /break up /abandonment book I have read (too many to mention).  Your philosophy fits perfectly with, and fully incorporates, my spiritual views.  I have been looking for that for a long time.  I hope to gain more insight from the book, and will definitely consider phone sessions and/or intensive training.  I admire and appreciate your integrity in sharing what you have learned for a minimal price.  Considering some of your past experiences, it would be understandable for you to want to profit as much as possible from your wisdom.  You really must be working out a lot of karma."

"I found your website while looking up info on aca and codependence.  I think the writing is profound and great and gave me more hope than anything I had read all week."

". . . it was not until I found your website that things really began to make sense and fall into place.  I have been reading your material, I started with Loving the Wounded Child Within, it opened my eyes so wide and helped me finally to begin to see the truth, to see through the misperceptions that have were formed from my childhood, I now feel I can finally begin to let go of the past, the outdated, outmoded beliefs that have kept me attached to the past and kept me reliving it over and over again. Freedom is mine."

"Thank you for the wonderful site you have provided on the internet.  I found it when I googled the word "discernment"."

"What I really like about the book though, is how I can seem to put things all together now. After lots of money spent on years of therapy (no resentment though, I had to go through it to be where I am), Landmark Forum (Twice!), and two years of the meetings, it feels so good to feel good about myself again and not so much of the negativity of the 12 step program. I was having a problem with the spiritual aspect and your writings follow right along with what I believe about the universe, etc. and I think it will really help me to live life freely again."

"thank you for the amazing gifts you bring to the planet and the healing that takes place on all levels."

"How brilliant are your words. I am a die hard born and bred skeptic and the comfort from your philosophy seems to touch all the areas I have chosen to embrace, to listen to. I have a feeling we may have had similar experiences. To be pushed by life to where I am today and to find your book is a blessing. It has helped my husband and myself to "SHUT UP!" and we were desperate for something to calm our fears something worth listening to. I think you hit the nail on the head. . . . . You have become my warrior of truth. A beacon of hope and happiness something I have lost so many years ago. The beauty of it all is after so many extreemly complicated issues comes such a simple cure and thats how I believe life should be, simple. I believe the most brilliant minds find their conclusion in simplicity, though you do have to be smart enough to realize when it appears. I think you are BRILLIANT! BRILLIANT! BRILLIANT!"

"Your site has been the most help in my quest to become healthy from Co-Dependence."

"I am just so very grateful that you had the courage to present your Truth in exactly the context in which you presented it. I am so grateful that you can acknowledge that this life business can feel like a cruel and pointless joke and still ask us to consider that maybe it does all make sense somehow and we are loved unconditionally. Thank you so much, Robert, for daring to burn brightly."

"thank you for your work and for your sharing, it is truly a life saver, please keep writing, i will be forever grateful that i found your website. but i think it was the universe guiding me towards you and towards better life emotionally."

"I have enjoyed your website so far, and I'm looking forward to your book. When I first read your site, I felt that I have finally found something that describes me and makes sense. Although it is a relief to find such familiarity, it is also overwhelming and frightening to think of all the work that may lie ahead. And although the literature feels so familiar, it is still all very new to me and I am sure that I am no where near where I have to be to grasp the recovery concept. Nonetheless, it is good to know people out there that are going through the same thing, and that I am not alone."

"Great stuff, very helpful. Thank you for your work of assisting people to heal and grow."

" I just wanted to take a moment to thank you so very much for this site. . . . . . Thank you so very much once again, I was sitting here miserable having come to the realization that it was time to move on and afraid of the missing her that will ensue. But I feel much more confident that my decision is what is best for both of us."

"Really getting a lot out of your articles on codependence and healing the inner child.  Man, you positively hit the mark when it comes to understanding what it is I'm currently dealing with -- toxic love, wounded inner children etc.  Just want to say thanks."

"Found your web site and it made excellent reading, and provided a very good insight to what is happening to my wife."

". . . you kindly wrote me a message saying that you wished the book helped me along my life journey - to be honest that was an under statement! Having read your book, been to a CoDA meeting and read some of Pia Mellodys books, its like I am waking up for the very first time. The shifts in my emotional world have been quite profound and I am grateful to life that it has bought me to you and to our forthcoming meeting."

"First of all I must thank you.  No words can express the graditude I am feeling for you appearing in my life."

"Robert, I have to say your website and articles are invaluable information to anyone who is on the  healing path.You put to words many of the things that were confusing to me. Like much of my own emotional pain and confusion and self hatred. You put to words my own childhood experiences which I could not name or put a finger on.  I had done some reading and had tapes on inner child healing but it was not as extensive as your website. Looking for information. I started doing a websearch on what was mental and emotional abuse, and I happened upon your website and what you say about religion is right on, definitely toxic and shamebased. You help expose the crap we have  been fed by society and toxic religion. And you put things into a saner perspective. I hope you don't listen to those who may criticize or attack your ideas and beliefs, you are right On. . . . Unfortunately we have very few religious leaders who have the honesty and integrity you do about things"

"I just wanted you to know that it makes me feel better knowing that I am not alone in this struggle. By the way, I loved your CD's."

"I just found your website, and the article that you wrote in reply to questions about Jesus and Mary Magdalene. (Jesus & Mary Magdalene - Jesus, sexuality, & the Bible) I want to commend you on your work, and your research. Your research goes hand in hand with my own, and it is rare that I find someone that sees things in the same ways that I do. I will be reading through your site even more, but I wanted to take a few minutes to send my regards. Excellent job!"

"Had to let you know how much I enjoyed reading your book.  It is a thorough overview of the subtle, but life draining issues of Codependence and the wounded inner child - and connects all aspects with a rare, wise and visionary insight."

"thank you forever so much for that site for sharing for completely changing my life."

"Your texts are a great help for me in my self-work, and I thank you very much for them, especially for your integration of feeling therapy and spirituality. It has been a new perspective for me, one which I highly appreciate."

"I don't know how to thank you enough...Your website and your Co-Dependence book have been brought to me just in time ...more so because I happened to open a page of your online writing that began " I spent most of my life wanting to die"...and that caught me because I was feeling that feeling again.

It is the first time that my life-experience, which felt so unlike anyone else's around me, has felt recognized, validated, empathized-  word for word, sentence for sentence although the details of the circumstances are different, and this in itself is a big relief. . . . . I live in India. . . . . Thank you for having the courage to write the book and the online stuff. I hope there will be an opportunity to meet you someday. I hope I will be able to help others someday too."

"I received the book yesterday and am diving right in. I have enjoyed the website and your approach to codependence as a spiritual and cultural issue rather than just a " personality problem" that occurs in some individuals."

"I just finished reading your book.  Without sounding like a converted cult member, I must say that those words more than resonated with me, they showed me how several puzzle pieces that I have acquired in my lifetime fit together.  Thank you for writing it and sharing it with the world."

"Remember" is a great way of explaining the feeling you get when you are being enlightened.  I have often used that word myself, because at those "Aha" moments, even though I feel like light is being shed on something that I had not noticed before, there is always a feeling that I already, in fact always, knew the thing the light was revealing.  I also use "resonate" to describe it, because it feels like something deep down inside recognizes it's long-lost twin. . . In any case, this is how I felt when I was reading your book, and I am on-board with everything you are saying."

"Your words offer a compassionate clarity to cut through the emotional fog of accumulated hurts and wounding in our lives."

"I had looked up tough love and came upon your website -I just downloaded huge amounts of your website that I will read this weekend.  I am the codependent mother of a 21 year old son who I have allowed to turn my life inside out over the past 5 years. . . . Bless you for putting this website together."

"I find your work revolutionary, and I dont say it to please your ego, but becouse I realy think so."

"Your insight is a breath of fresh air for me.. . . . .Just letting you know I am reading and reading and re-reading and actually have made a notebook to journal the steps.  I am not in a hurry, it has already been 48 yrs. of this.  I want to get it right this time and if I drop dead 10 minutes after feeling that personal victory of owning self-love...I will still say the journey was all worth it.  Thank you for all you have shared with the "online world" out here."

" I am reading a lot of the stuff from your site - very good....  very helpful to me personally outside the office and also in the office."

"I must say that I read literally hundreds of books, self help, healing, spiritual etc and have never before felt compelled to write to the author until now. . . . This morning I chose to read passages of your book again to see if it might get me through the day and I have to say you have touched me to my soul with the Truth that I have felt in your words.  I cry as I type this.  I love your "fucking asshole" to your Higher Power.  I must say that I have certainly felt this way about mine lately as well.  You have given me hope that this might all really be part of the perfect plan and I wanted to thank you for that today. . . . Again thank you for your book ... and for getting me through my day!!"

"My name is ______. I found your site and it is changing my life. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . . . . I am so thankful for finding this information at this time in my life."

"Your book is a big part of my progress in dealing with my own stuff.  For the most part, my friends are recovering non-drinking  alcoholics, and without noticing the transformation, I somehow started avoiding the drinking ones. From the first time I visited your website I felt like I was talking with an old friend."

"Thank you so much for all the information. I am revisiting your site after some years for 'the crappeth has hitteth the faneth' big time in my life and I need to ground."

"I would like to thank you for creating your amazing website...I am 25 student of counselling, who recently finished her another tragic codependent relationship:/....I have done plenty of work around my self esteem, childhood trauma, and irrational beliefs to change my attitiude and choices in life. I am not saying it did not help me, but I did not felt truly understood and in spite of all, still kept my inner children rulling. Few days ago I was really desperated, I lost faith that anything will change. I observed all my life's fascinations and they all perfectly fitted to 'UNhappy ever after' story. I started to believe that this is how I was and there was not much to do about it, when I accidently googled your website I spent 2 whole days reading your texts.  I also bought 'Codependence: The Dance Of Wounded Souls' straightaway.  I was laughing and crying sometimes in the same time. At last, someone who understand me, even more, who experienced exactly the same situations, feelings...and found the way out of this. There is hope. There is strenght. Knowing that it is possible to stop to crave for critical and unavaible partners gives me that power. And me, I am sitting on the table with all my children around me Lonely child, the one with broken spirit, bad little kid.... romantic and magical thinking ones are here as well but more distant, still angry at me since I told them that Fairy Tales are not true. But I know they will be ok!, I will be ok!...universe showed me that he cares by giving me your book to put these pieces together and make more sense from my living:) THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT Mr. Burney:)"

"Hi Robert, I’ve read a lot on your site and I’m very interested in what you teach and the way you explain problems."

"_____ was kind enough to share your article with me.  I've read a portion of it tonight and am excited that there may be a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.  I'm starting to understand how I got where I am and how to get where I need to go."

"I am experiencing a romantic break up after 9 years and your knowledge is here now to help me understand and heal and move forward. I have come to an understanding of myself that I have searched for since I was 17 (I am now 45). I do believe this is not a coincidence and am thankful to be coming into these levels of understanding after so long. Thank you for so generously sharing!"

"WOW!! I mean, WOW!!!! I see an email from you and I can’t believe my eyes. I told my husband last week; there is one person I’d like to meet before I die, and that is Robert Burney.  You have no idea the impact you’ve had in my recovery since I first heard you last year. My husband had your tapes sitting in his office for a few years and one day I noticed them. As you say, there are no accidents, no coincidences. It was a time in my recovery where I had thrown away my Catholic God as well as all spiritual hope and all I could think of was, how much longer before I get a chance to check out. Dealing with people, hurting those I loved, being hurt, afraid of confrontation, angry,  etc... that was my dilemma.

 You’ve given me hope and a door into a program that fits. I have been a member of Al-anon for years but, though it helped, it just wasn’t cutting it. Then I heard you and I realized, I am a full blown adult child. And yes, there is a God that loves me, warts and all. My soul is coming out more and more and I kind of like her. So with my deepest gratitude and admiration I thank you for all your wisdom and sharing. I am so looking forward to meeting you!!!"

"I actually already own a copy. (of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls) It has been so helful and insightful in my own journey out of codependence that I am giving a copy to my mother:) and to my best friend.  This is the second book that I have read on this and while I learned a lot about the disease in the first book, yours has touched me on a much deeper level.  Thank you for that.

"I've been a huge fan of your web page joy2meu for years. I'm a coach who uses inner child-based techniques in conjunction with other tools both in my own life and with clients."

"I am very much inspired by your work and would like you to know that I'm very much touched by your life history and i can very much relate to it. . . . . I thank you very much and would like to read your articles more often. I think this will help me get some clarity and understanding about the person I am and finding peace within my inner soul. Thank you so very much for your writings."

"Thank you for a truly amazing book!  In fact, some of the sample / examples of the mother and father you shared left me thinking, "well d*mn, how does he know MY family!?!" . . . . My thank you headed into a lengthy narrative, so i decided it best to abbreviate it all by saying - you work has left a lasting impression on me and echoes the voice I have heard calling me for years!" (the same person wrote later "I jumped too soon when writing, as I had not completed the Cosmic perspective.  if you only knew how it meshed so coherently with the kabalah coursework I received.)"

"I do not know how I found your web…probably it was meant to be…. Thank you for U being who U were and is.  There are so many things I have experienced exactly in the way U had, it seems to me that YOU is almost me."

"Just wanted to thank you for your web site.  I have been away from the Inner Child/Co-dependent work for quite a while and it was good to be brought back to this very important inner work.  For those of us that are not in a position to purchase books, the web site offers great free material which can only benefit us. . . . As a woman, I appreciate your understanding of our centuries old wounds and how we pass those wounds on to other people.  It is the main reason I decided not to have children.  I also appreciate your take on what happens to girls as they turn into women and how our fathers turn away from us and turn on us and do not celebrate our transition - very sad (refers to article Wounded Parents - the tragic legacy of dysfunctional families). . . . Anyway, thanks again for your web site."

(May 20, 2007)
"I read The Dance of the Wounded Souls and I think it will be life changing for me."

"I ordered your book a few weeks ago . . . . . it has changed my life. I went from hating to go to AA to going at least once a day. I went twice today. I have ordered another book for my son ____ who is in rehab. I hope it helps him as much as it helped me."

"I just want to thank you for your wonderful website and thank you for keeping it accessible to all.  I've been coming back to it every so often over the years.  It is like a sacred place where I can come and be understood and helped.  I don't know if you get compliments like this often. I just wanted to make sure you know just important the work you do is."

"Robert, thank you, your website is amazing, such great info. Congratulations on your great work..."

"I had received your book in the mail on Friday and i have not been able to put it down since. very well written and indeed gives a lot to think about and a much healthier perspective of life. I have been in therapy for years as a result of a terrible childhood and i have that problem you had mentioned of the critical parental voice that makes me think im an evil monster when infact i havent done anything wrong and never meant harm to anyone. it can get overwhelming sometimes but your book seems to point me in the right direction."

"I found your website and LOVE it! really resonates  :)"

"I read your book, I have to admit it is good and that is saying a lot, because I am sick and tired of these self-help books and allergic to spiritual mumbo jumbo, but you have something."

"As an transactional analyst I find the information on your website very relevant to my work.  Also, coming from a dysfunctional family, repeating my own dysfunctional patterns with my children, I am now in the grieving stages of the break-up of an emotional abusive relationship. Not only did he broke my heart but my soul was complety destroyed in the process and I lost all passion for life. I now have the courage to move forward and would like to attend one of your inner-child workshops. Congratulations on an excellent website."

"I have gone to your site over and over again and am reading and taking it all in.... thank you for this wonderful site."

"Thank you so much for your literature. thank you for your time you spent in giving it. Thank you for your courage to share your experiences."

"Robert, I am surprised that people who visit your website don't buy your book or ebook.  Your website and writings represent to me the only kind of real, grounded (Amerincan) spiritual and psychological information I have read on the internet so far.  I used to have lots of information on my websites for free and many visitors from all over the world, but I decided that I needed to have some balance in all this, so I made an ebook instead and only had a few writings on my website for free.  Maybe an idea for you too?  Of course people like what they can get for free, but your information is valuable information which comes from the heart (I feel).  So many people write about spiritual stuff but contrary to your writings, it seems that the experience from the human point of view of having been through all that they write about is missing, and this is certainly not what I feel from reading your website. So keep up the good work."

"I would like to be put on your email list for any emailings you send out and info on your work.  I am finding what I have read to be of great interest and better said and more clearly stated than anything else I have read or any of the work that I have done in therapy"

"Excited to receive your book! Thank you for responding so quickly to my enthusiastic e-mail :)  I passed on some information from your site to friends and got responses immediately! One friend in San Diego, _____, said he is going to take the first workshop coming up this month (i think that's pretty soon). And another friend in Canada felt like it was speaking to her directly. So happy. I love sharing information that is full of divine truth and healing and much, much needed."

"I have learned so much from your articles . . .  Your articles have helped me tremendously, and I thank you  for them.  I look forward to your book. . .  you have definitely hit the mark for me, and I value your insight.  I thank Spirit for leading me to your website."

"I found your website through a yahoo search on emotional grieving. Thanks for your time in developing and sharing your website."

"I spent the morning reading your newsletter and I especially liked the thought of the childhood healing seminars that you have created . There can be much accomplished through this type of healing . Far too many of our everyday problems now stem from such experiences . Sometimes just saying them out loud can help a great deal at facing these demons down . Keep up the good work."

"I am very happy to be on your mailing list because everything I've read so far makes so much sense to me now that I'm off the drugs and I can only thank you for being there when I needed some help, and help so often comes from the most unexpected direction, thank you again."

"I am one of your Danish visitors.   I find your information and articles brilliant and very useful.  I have been very inspired when reading your writings.   You seem to be a true lightworker to me. Thank you for doing such excellent work."

"I have just found your website and it is "right on time".  I have struggled throughout my life with many of the feelings you discuss.  Having no boundaries and codependency are the two major current items I have come to realize I must work on  and I had very little information.  Thanks for the information and I will be reading some daily."

"I received your book and really love it! It's like a deep sigh of relief from my inner child and soul as I read"

"Thank you so much for everything you have done for so many of us who need your words of wisdom. I read your book and have been continuing to read the information on your site. Because of this help, I feel like a weight has been lifted from me - I feel free, and able to smile - I do not feel empty and dead inside. I will continue to read everything I can on your site...It is transforming! Of course, I have to do the work but because of you and your site, I have the tools to work with."

"I wanted to thank you again for your web site.  I spent a lot of years growing up feeling like there was something weird about me.  I have a certain degree of ESP and I've always had vague memories of what felt like times and places I'd lived before.  I never have talked about it much because it's offputting being able to know things like that when most people can't.

Two years ago, I started dating my current boyfriend.  Over the course of that time, we wound up talking about a number of things (of course).  About two months ago, he started talking about past lives, and we'd never talked about that before.  He knows who he was in at least two past lives.  I don't know who I was; I just know where I was.  I didn't know before that there were other people like me.  So, please put up with a "newbie" who has finally found out that there are other people like me and just wants to learn more about it."

"Thank you so very much for your website."

"I write to you in the month of my 3rd AA birthday, a 32 yr old single  mum, in the process of integration of my fragmented modes with my  wonderful therapist, stepping out to observe just how I play out  Rescuer, victim, Perpetrator and back to university studying  Theology, then likely a graduate diploma in Psychotherapy...  I've defined myself from where I am now in my journey - where I found  your pages on the net, and where I come back to for connection to  tell my little girl that it is going to be OK and I am not going to  die... You seem to write how I think (though I wonder if this is the same  energy as when I sit in a meeting and feel like it was planned just  for my ears only (I am sure you know how that feels!))  . ."

"I read a book on dysfunctional families I had had for a long time but hadn't opened, and happened to find your site on the internet.  I am so amazed by all the discoveries this has brought to me.  I was a good psychiatric nurse for many years but did not have any dealings with family therapy. Thank you for your site, it has been a revelation, and I hope will help to bring more peace to my life and my mothers.  At last I understand."

"Just wanted to say thanks for the site.  It was very helpful reading your narratives about each of the family roles as I study for my "Substance Abuse and Social Work Practice" class. . . . Keep going!  Your life story was very inspiring, and is one more testament to the importance of dreams and perseverance."

"Dear Mr. Burney, I ordered your book -in spite of what I considered was its somewhat-new-agy title-  ;-)  while browsing through Amazon.com for items on recovery. I received it yesterday, and thought I'd read a few pages before retiring for the night. Well, it's well past 11am, and I have not slept a wink! I do not believe I ever read anything so easily absorbable while being so profoundly enlightening. I remember the Bradshaw series, still have the tapes somewhere, read tons of material on self-healing etc including Dyer, Mindell, Gawain, and many others, but your book was by far the best "bull's-eye hitter" ever. I cannot express enough my joy and gratitude to you for creating this extraordinary spiritual revolution tool.

On another note, I got so excited about sharing your brilliant “perspective” that I thought I‘d ask if you might consider authorizing me to do a French AND Arabic translation of the book! "

"I really enjoy your writings.  I am reading about The New Age Misinterpretations.   I too have come across people who talk about twin souls and say they channel things, but at the same time they are totally disconnected from their feelings and wounds.  And I get this feeling they are striving for perfection and the light, but fail to understand that you cannot receive the light if you are disconnected from an emotional part of your own being.   I think this split happened at the time of Atlantis where feelings were considered to be bad."

"Absolute Masterpiece! I have finally finished my first reading of the book.  I do love to read but I took my time to read it all. Now I understand why it is not a best seller.  You would put too many people and the powers that be out of commission. Imagine one book having the power to do all that. It is funny when I started to think what I was going to write in response to the book, I likened you to the messiah...and lo and behold you started writing about it on page 111...so I said oops, it wouldn't seem like my words now would they? That continued to the end, my thoughts eventually I started to read in the pages that followed, it was amazing! Never before have I ever read a book so thoroughly explaining all my suffering etc. . . . I do love the incorporation of Native American spirituality...I always felt that the Native American holocaust preceded ours...if they weren't successful in taking over this land...we would never have been stolen to be slaves. . . I honestly feel the book was written for me and it was my time to find it. . . ...you are just here ahead of your time...and for that I am eternally grateful because it is my time. Thank-you.

"Your website is such a deep allowing life-affirming place.  Thank you so much for what you've shared in your website. . . . . I felt led to email you and thank you.  We are strangers and yet not.  The way you write and explain your work is very familiar to me at some deep inner level.  I want to thank you for what you share in your website.  I am not in a place in my life where I can attend workshops right now.  If I could I would so sign up for yours!    Thank you!"

"I have been reading your excellent pages on 'Setting Boundaries'. They have helped me a lot."(refering to Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self)

"I just found your site on Google. Great site... keep up the great work! =)"

"What a feeling, What a rush - to be present in the here and now.  I have been reading your articles off and on for about two years. . . . all my relationships were acutely dysfunctional until I found AA, then AlAnon and then ACOA. The latter being the one that was home to me. And it took 10 years of this (and therapy) to begin to change my life. Armed with an education in 12 step programs I made a choice to try to become healthier ie. couldn't take the pain any longer. Of course my family have not been receptive and in fact express anger for the changes they see/feel in me. To continue, I found your webpage about two years ago. . .  I work on healing myself daily and have spent more time in the here and now/the present in the past year than at any other time in my life and a major support is being able to access your webpage - reading - feeling - affirmations - all part of my daily life. I am also writing my dissertation and that is more than a fulltime job. . . it was time to thank the person who has given me encouragment to go on. For me, reading your articles has been as if I were in a therepeutic relationship with you and I have gained so much - even a little serenity."

"I have just finished reading 'The Dance of Wounded Souls', and i particularly enjoyed the last chapter.  It gave me an insight and answered some of my questions.  Without coming across your web sights I would not of totally understood about the disease of co-dependance and i didnt realise it went that deep."

"I have been reading your pages on codependency and recovery with great interest.  Thank you for making that material available.  I've been in AA for a while, and your synthesis of 12-Step spiritual principles with codependency healing make more sense to me than Melody Beattie's sometimes candy-coated approach. Thanks again for your insight and willingness to help through clear explanation."

"I feel I grew a lot by reading your book, and what you taught me is wonderful and beautiful knowledge. I feel how special my inner child is lovable and loving. Wow Robert your awesome teacher, I hope to meet you someday, that is my hope my friend, I thank my creator and I thank you Robert, isn’t joyful to see and hear the creation of our holy mother source the nature, what I see I love and what I hear I love."

"Hi Robert~ I love your work, and have recommended it to others who are serious about their spiritual path."

"Over many years I have found help and solace from your writings. Thank You!"

"Maybe it's a coincidence or not, but I ordered your tapes many years ago while attempting to do something about my situation and I really liked what I heard but it was all lost and fore-gotten over the course of going through a divorce and attempting to recover from that. So here I am probably 7 or 8 years later and after witnessing some close friends go through loss of loved ones and my own father with a blood disease and a shortened life expectancy, I found myself searching the net for some help, some guidance and direction, and have stumbled once again into you. I have spent hrs and hrs searching and reading and I like the approach that you have."

"Hi, I've really identified and enjoyedthe material on this websit"

" It will be quite fine to add me to your e-mail list, your website is very impressive, though i cried immensely after reading it."

"Hello, I had been co dependent and an enabler for years. In the past year I have taken ownership of myself and have confronted years of dysfunction. With that, there is another person involved and your site has helped me confirm and has given be the hope to go deeper, to put the dysfunction to death forever. Thank you"

"Robert, thank u very much for all the information provided on your website, i just ordered a copy of your book and am awaiting it's arrival with as much patients as possible.  i have read just about everything and the words on your page resonate very strongly."

"I read and re-read your articles on your website for help and hope for me. I fit into exactly what you write about."

"Thank you for your excellent work and insight!!!  Hi Robert my name is _______ and I just wanted to say thank you very much for allowing us to read your thoughts regarding basic self awareness.  I am sure we have only scratched the surface however, it would appear that on some levels humanity is slowly but surely moving in a positive direction.  Telling the truth to ourselves is extremely difficult and taking action is even more so and this is why I found your work so very important in our ever changing dysfunctional world.  At the end of the day our "errors" are only half the battle.  The other half is what we do to make things better. . . .  Your work helps illustrate all of the basic themes in human behaviour with only the names and faces that change.  Thank you very much for providing us with the tools so that if and when, we choose to enlighten ourselves and others the opportunity is there.   Let's make the world a better place by losing the secrets and enjoying the healing process.  Thanks again and keep up the good work. "

"I have found your book to be very insightful and I am attempting to apply some of the principles."

"just found your material on the internet following a argument with my Mom!  I happened to type in on a yahoo search engine for some help this morning and came across your article titled "Emotional Honesty and Emotional Responsibility" and it literally is beginning to unmask things that I never had words for in my relationship with my Mom!  Thanks ahead of time for all your writing is and will do/doing for me and my relationships with God, self, and others!  I can feel such hope and anticipation on what lies ahead for me in this next season of growth!"

"I identified, myself, tremendously with the information on your web site.  Thank you. GREAT WORK!"

"I came across your website when I was searching for information about 'emotional boundaries' ... and I was so impressed by the articles you'd written and the information on your website that I wanted to read the books you've written about issues that I think hit very close to home for me (I included the CD's because I want to put them on my Ipod so I can listen on the train to London and back for work).  What you wrote really resonated with me so I'm looking forward to receiving the books and CDs and to learning more -- about boundaries and about myself ... : ))) ...  Based on a very small sample -- of one, me -- I know that generalizing is dangerous (yes, you guessed it, I'm an academic, American, but displaced to the UK) ... Nevertheless, I think you've got a really powerful website and are probably helping more people than you realise come to terms with the 'baggage' we've dragged with us into adult-hood from the time we were small ...  Already, I've learned an enormous amount ... and I feel so encouraged ... Anyway!  Thanks again ... "

"I do hope this is the right address to get in touch with you directly.  I have been meaning to get in touch with you for some time as I wanted to say I have been deeply moved by your writing (both your book, The dance of Wounded Souls as well as your web pages) and feel convinced that what lies between me and my healing is the need to heal my inner child."

"If I could afford it, I would send this book to every person who needed it, which is most everyone! I'm very glad there are brilliant people such as yourself that have the capacity to help in this world.   Thank you so much, Robert"

"I just ran across your web-site while doing a google search for codependcy + alcoholism and it directed me to your "Toxic Love" link which was really what I needed to see.  There were parts that rang so true that I literally gasped out loud.  It made me want to go and wake my husband with a hug because we are both stuck in the same vicious cycle together and (thankfully) finally trying to figure out where to begin the recovery. My next hour was spent reading about the Inner Child and I have forwarded the web site address to my sisters as well.  I think they will find it as beneficial as I am. Please add me to your e-mail newsletter - I plan to visit your site often and would love to hear more of what you have to say. Thank you for your time and your work!"

"Thank you for writing this book.  I have been handed many publications on codependence and adult children, and this is the only one that has given me hope and inspiration."

"I am enjoying your book, and I appreciate your down-to-earth, no-nonsense approach."

"I was so grateful to find your site while I was searching for help in getting thru my "4th Step" in my program where I am healing from many years of emotional, sexual and physical abuse and codependence. This step has been very very taxing for me. Most of my trauma has been blocked out so I have had a real struggle to "dig up the bones". I believe the LORD led me to your page where I saw your book. It looked like EXACTLY what I needed to begin my healing process. I didnt hesitate to order it. Thank You for writing it. Its exactly what I need."

"Just like to tell you that i think your insight and word display are simply amaizing, just so everything that i believe and feel are so integeral to us as humans. You conceptualise, intelectualise and emotionalise everything so well. You are really a great spirit. I would love to come to one of your seminars one day! You have a little admirer down under."

"I am so inspired by the readings on your site that I just ordered your book: "Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls". . . . I just wanted to write and say thank you for sharing your emotions. You definitely give me hope"

"I do not know if you ever get a change to read your e-mail, but would really just like to thank you for your work that you made so freely available on the internet. I am sure it is a lifesaver to many people and has been an answer to my cry for help. Not having any one to talk to and not knowing how to bother people with my problems without creating more for myself and others, and when every one so firmly believes I don’t have any, I ask God to give me an answer through google. To get an answer to my continuous self-inflicted emotional pain I wanted to know why I am so ‘emotionally needy’ and how to heal this deep empty hole inside of me. Your web pages came up addressing a lot of my problems. I am stil far from where I want to be, but as you said life is a process. . . .Thank you very much again for sharing your insights, knowledge and experiences and your time."

"Your web site inspired me! . . . . I loved your web site, loved where you're coming from."

"Your writings and website continue to be a tremendous help and inspiration to me. I can particularly relate to your ideas on "counterdependence". I certainly have and do swing between the poles of codependence and counterdependence often. I find that counterdependence in particular leads me to a harsh rigidity and narrow-mindedness that is not a good place to be. The difficulty is that the outward manifestations of counterdepndence (setting boundaries, not being a victim, etc.) can actually appear healthy on the surface. It's only when I look at how I'm getting there that I realize that it's really no closer to a healthy love and trust of self than codependence."

"A week or so ago you sent me a copy of your book, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls. I was deeply touched by the personal message you'd handwritten inside, wishing me well on my spiritual path, and my first thank you is for that. It gave me an immediate sense of connection with you.

My second thank you is for your book itself. I've never believed in the "no coincidences" philosphy of life, but the way your words have resonated with me is making me question my own (dis)beliefs. Your words have given me an unexpected shift in perspective. I've always thought myself to be spiritual in a sort of abstract and "intellectual" (read: totally disconnected!) way. Now suddenly, for the first time in my life, I feel like my spirituality is taking flight. Or at least, my awareness of it is. I'm feeling like there might be hope for my life.

You wrote that "our personal stick" (mine being an addiction to a relationship) "is the blessed gift that has started our awakening to consciousness of our path". I can't tell you how much that idea alone is helping me right now. I've been in a process of emotional healing for about 8 years now, making great strides, but without making much progress on my "personal stick". Your words have opened up for me the possibility that there is a very good reason for that.

I've just purchased a package of telephone sessions with you. I am very much looking forward to beginning this work, this adventure. But with this email I just wanted to thank you for what you have already given me."

"Robert! Just a note to say, WOW! Is this not just the most incredible and awesome journey on which you find yourself?  I just finished reading the following passage:

"The Universe completely ambushed me with this relationship - and did it in such a way, that I had to throw out all the romantic fantasy stuff.  There was no feeling that I had met a soul mate or twin soul - or that there was some powerful vibrational or Karmic connection in this relationship.  I don't even think in those terms any more.

I think that I am seeing now, that part of the experience I needed to surrender to, was to learn how to be present in reality in a romantic, intimate relationship.  I mean, I knew that theoretically, but I don't think I have been focusing enough attention on actually doing it - actually being present and conscious of the gift that this relationship is in my life, the gifts this relationship has brought into my life.

I have been not been focusing on the relationship - or on my recovery.  The fact that I haven't been focusing a lot of attention on my recovery - haven't thought I had the time and energy to do that - is definitely a strong contributing factor in what has been happening."

I bow my head in humility and reverence at the depth of the courage and the honesty this passage reveals and at the very real cost in pain and grief of such clarity and insight. At the same time, Robert, I am filled with such joy at this level of growth and awakening. There is a line in a poem by Walt Whitman that goes something like: "We but level that lift/To rise and go beyond. . ."

I am so happy about this gift of relationship in your life and all of its gifts to you. But when you can say, as you have in this passage, "I have not been focusing on the relationship - or on my recovery,"  I could leap in the air with the sense of liberation from lies that I am not doing recovery right. This is Truth which Lives and Breathes, not some canned, stale sales pitch. I can celebrate with you the amazing gifts and growth of the path you tread right now and feel a newfound measure of peace on my own path. Dance wherever you may be, Robert, at the Wonder of this Life!" (This is in reference to an addendum to the March 2007 Update: My Fear of Intimacy processing page)


(February 28, 2007)
"Your website is helpful and encouraging, and it's so good to know that someone else is approaching codependency recovery spiritually."

"In the 34 years of my sobriety, 30 of which has been working with addicts and families I have never read or heard anything that equals your writings on addiction and effects on loved ones. Thank you. "

"I just finished reading your book, The Dance of the Wounded Souls, and wanted to let you know how important a read it has been for me, walking the path I am now on.  Many, many things clicked as I read.  Many "aha!" moments.  Understanding the different voices and emotions I'm finding is an indispensible key to this.  I never thought in terms of different aged children coexisting in me, and never saw myself as an emotional six-year-old.  But I sure do now!  An incredible learning experience. . . Thanks again for sharing your profound insights.  They are helping to light my path."

"I read the Dance of Wounded Souls just before Christmas and it has been very helpful.  It is helping me to work through and understand problems that I have had with my partner and with my close friends.  I think that many of my friends are wounded souls, as was/am I.  I had an insight before reading it that we were friends because of some dysfunctional reason as well as because we have fun together.

It is a wonderful book.  And it has helped me on a path to spiritual understanding and healing.  I went to Southern India over Christmas and the New Year.  And this also has opened my eyes to a different way of looking at the world.  The people I met were wonderful.  I really felt as if there was warmth and love between them and I.  I really believe that you are right -  once we start being conscious of the problems, we can then start to change."

"Thank you for your response. I listen to your CD's every morning and evening, as I take the NYC subways to and from work. It is helping to change my life immensely. God bless you for putting out this beautiful, so desperately-needed work"

"Just wanted to say how thankful I am for you and your site and your wisdom!  I'm at a real low point right now and I'm trying really hard to read and understand your articles.  I can't afford a therapist and so I'm so grateful."

"I was doing some searching and came across your website.  I enjoyed your insight on many topics. Obviously I can relate...  I plan on reading more of your experience and helpful suggestions."

"Dont know if you read these, But just in, case, would like to say thanks for your articles and how much they have helped me through recent crisis. You are an inspirational person. I asked for guidance and I got it.  Thanks again  This book is for my partner for Xmas.  Hope he sees the light too."

"I had to stop today  and take a moment to thank you for sharing your insight and knowledge with the world on your website.   I began my healing a few years back and I still find that I put it on hold sometimes as it is very hurtful and probably the hardest job ever.  I find your material inspirational and refer to it often.  Esp. at work when I can take a break and read a bit to refresh my self.  Working with family is hard enough but putting 2 stereotypical narcissists in the picture makes it brutal torture.  My goals this year include a change of employment and more growth for my inner child and self.  Thank you again for reaching out to others, you are an amazing man!!"

"I forgot to thank you for your Dance of the Wounded Souls book, I went through a major depression last year, and read it, it helped immensely and is one of a kind and ahead of its time!  Your work is amazing, and I look forward to reading more that you publish.  I am going on to study energy medicine and acupuncture and plan on understanding emotional intelligence/awareness and how false belief systems affect and manifest actual physical symptoms in our bodies, and would love to share your material with my patients who could benefit from your work!"

"I am so pleased to have have found your web site and pages and book.  They are helping me NO END.  I am not a recovering alcoholic, but an adult + child of one, and are recovering from my childhood abuse wounds which I finally SEE.  I see how they have run my life thanks to your willingness to share your journey.  I am in the process of RECLAIMING myself and existing for ME for the first time.  it is very liberating.  It is very HARD. But I feel the love finally. I am ready to receive it, knowing I have a right to exist, a right to breathe, a right to be here. THANKYOU. from my heart and soul."

"I have read your book "the dance of wounded souls" and it ressonated with me - the wounded child that I feel I carry around and the spiritual aspect - which I think is really my only hope."

"I would like to say Thank you for your wonderful website.  I found it quite awhile ago and have been skirting around my codependency issues for some time.  I plan to order the book soon.  I have been quoting some of your writings on my blog."

"Thank you very much for the prompt delivery (and the enclosed inscription) of your book.  I read it through the day I recieved it and found it to be powerfully insightful.  Having this book enter my life at this point in my journey has helped greatly with some added perspective."

"I have found a deep connection with the way you have describe the circumstances of co-dependancy and how all pervasive it is - i have only came to the realisation before Christmas that my wounding had been since birth due to my parents own wounding etc.  I have repeated the same issues again and again in my relationships ie different people but the same dynamics!  I have found that there is a great deal of ignorance in the recovery groups in the UK regarding Co-dependancy. i have had to search out the way which suits me in the end. I am so grateful to have found your site and i wish you every continued success with it and hope we can arrange to meet this year on one of your courses."

"I recently came across your page after doing a google search on Codependency. Quite sometime ago, a friend recommended Melody Beatties book "Codependent No More" to me. It lit a fire under me to seek out inner bonding-inner healing, emotional honesty and much of the things you mentioned in your writings on your page. I identified with a lot of your writing. . . . . From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for a wonderful and truly enlightening site and thank you for your work. "

"A few months a go I contacted you about the emotional crises I was experiencing. Both your books got me through not to mention the many many pages I downloaded from your site. It was lifechanging.  I was desperately grabbing out for something and nothing fitted. Your support and guidance were there when I needed it."

"Your work has added to the value of me as a human being.  I am as a result, more educated and enlightened and feel not quite so alone.  It is good to know that other people are working to enhance the cause."

"Fabulous sight and lots of great info on dysfunctional - isms!, I really needed to read it to remind me where i was going wrong, thanks so much:-)"

"I just stumbled onto your website by accident today.  I wept as I read the part where you indicated that you thought "wanting to die was really who you were". (Union Within - healing the inner child)  Your words rang true for how I have been feeling for nearly all of my life.  I am in recovery also but have just realized that it’s never really over.  I can't wait to read all of the information you have available. Thank you for sharing your experience of inner pain.  What a wonderful gift.  I feel truly blessed today."

"Thank you Robert.  I discovered your website yesterday after a very difficult day.  YOur teachings are bringing together things that I have intuited and half guessed for months and years."

"I have recently come across your site and find it amazing accurate and a wonderful array of insight and knowledge. It was actually more than I bargained for as I was only looking for material to include in a hypnotherapy script for a client.  I feel that inner child work is very important as it’s only when the ‘child’ is able to make peace with the past that was, that we are able to move forward.  As I feel quite strongly about this type of therapy I will soon be facilitating workshops on this here in Australia."

"Hi Robert, Thankyou for the gift of healing. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart and soul."

"I just found your website tonight. I searched "emontional incest" and your site was the first that popped up. You have some excellent descriptions and examples of emotional incest and Codependency.  I am happy that I found your site."

"Perhaps that is the beginning of " wisdom".... recognizing that there is a better way and being willing to explore it.  I would like it very much if you would add me to your e-mail list.  Thank you for doing so.  I like your approach.  Much of what you write resonates with the program of AA of which I have been an active member for longer than I want to admit.  The program of Al-Anon, at it's best....approaches the idea of dysfunction and co-dependency but it is difficult to find a group that either know or are willing to examine the many aspects of old emotional injury.  I am looking forward to reading your book.  I particularly am boosted by the idea that there is a distinct line between emotions and thoughts.  I have already become aware of my speech and the way I automatically define myself with my emotions....simple things make  for the greatest change."

"I find your site very helpfull and am glad I came across it, we need more people like you in the world."

"since I found you I feel different from others. And I said to myself I will turn all my garbage into something wonderful. I feel you’re a wonderful person and did wondrous for me. . . you are a gifted teacher, and I'm grateful to my creator for guiding you into my life. Mahsi (cho). Is saying thank you very much, in my language"

"I recieved your book some time ago and now I have read it. It took some time as I needed to digest everything in my own time.  Im still very impressed by your book!  And Im so glad that I found it and that you wrote it! Like you say in your book, its not a coincident that I got to read your book. "

"Yes, Robert, it is from ________. This is another "tithe". (This is the second time this person had made a donation to Joy2MeU as a way of Spiritual Tithing.) I visit your site from time to time, still being inspired and greatly helped. Your book is a wonderful support and am often led to it in time of need.  The wisdom I received from you is very "ALIVE", it echos often in and from my heart at the right place, at the right time. I am grateful for your work, and advise people to get your book and visit your site often."

"You have a terrific website. I am a LifeCoach and find you really cool."

"I know I haven't written for a long time. I just wanted to let you know we both really enjoyed reading your book, "Dance of Wounded Souls" and it helped alot."

"For a long time now I wanted to tell you what a wonderful book you wrote. I am 43 and read this book three years ago. Actually I read it several times. I have read it again and again and even now when I have a low day, I find myself referring back to it. It’s something to think that it took 40 years to become a complete person. And it was not right after I read the book, it took actually a lot longer than that, and I still think this will always be a work in progress. If everybody in this world wanted to read and understand your book, this would finally be a peaceful planet. I still fall back into traps where people push my buttons, I still have some insecurities, but I am aware of it now and can be proactive. Wouldn't it be nice if this book could be translated into German, (it is actually available in German) so my mother would be able to read it? I was raised in a traumatized war refugee family ? talk about emotional unavailability. So for the longest those were the people I ended up with. But I do think even if you never attempted to work on it ? it is not too late even for people in their sixties. They have never been happy."

"Thank you for all your time and insights you have invested into your website.  I have embraced the spiritual path for many years and found this site to assist in the horizontal part of the journey.  It helped me put into words feeling and emotions that have existed for so long but that I could not quite verbalize what they were all about.  It has helped me make leaps and bounds in my awareness and growth in a very short time period.  I wish you much love and light on your journey and that the dance of the rest of your life is joyous and full of love."

"I keep seeing your writings when I do research - they're wonderful. I look forward to reading more of your work."

"Hi Robert Burney, I find your writing --your thoughts to be inspiring--both to me and to my clients."

"I have downloaded many many of your articles since I went into a crisis state about 2 mnths ago. I can't ell you how helpful and timely they have been, as I continue to work my my way through. . . . . I felt desperate and began searching the web. I found lots of articles which VALIDATED that I had been abused by family and partner, but NONE explaining HOW I drew this to me.  I had not realized until then, HOW affected I was.  I began to look back over my life and see the abuse patterns. I felt sort of shattered when I realized the impact it had had on me, that I had tried to forget it.

Some of the sites mentioned codependance linked with emotional/verbal abuse, so I looked it up and eventually I found your site and it was literaly a GODSEND
AND it came from a spiritual perspecetvie.
AND it showed me the patterns
I have been on the spiritual path all my life.  A belief in a higher power that guided and protected me.  I felt the TRUTH in waht you wrote.
Recogninzing Truth as an EMOTION was HUGE for me and validating. Through your articles I understood Co dependance and MY PART in it.
I had KNOWN I was wounded from my childhood, but discounted it as 'other people have worse.'  Your articles sent me into my grieving process. They have been TREMENDOUS."

"I have already found your website insightful, it was passed onto me by a friend.  It is a relief to know that this a common conditions for humans and i look foward to freeing myself with the help of your book."

"I find your website truly inspirational."

"Thanks a heap for making your book/tape series available on CD.  I bought the tapes some months ago and listen to them frequently.  I dig into something in my own recovery and my own development, and then listen to your tape and realize that I plug in more and have more to learn from your tape.   Additionally, when I am feeling 'crazy' and 'codependent', I know that I can pop on your tape and find some centering for myself.  I connect with my spritual self in some ways by turning to something that is positive and uplifting and along my path for reccovery. I believe it them so much that I recommended them highly to others in my CODA group yesterday, and have my two tapes lent out to two folks, hoping that they get as much out of the content as I have - and as I continue to.  I am evolving my car stereo to one that does not have a tape player, so I have been working to figure out how to transfer the tape to CD, and spent an hour at BestBuy last night to figure out how to use my computer to record the CDs.  I figured that I should check back to your website as well to see if you have moved to CD media.  Yippee! You have (or your friend did it for you).  I bought a copy of the CDs - so now I can keep listening.   Yeah!  Robert, thanks in a huge way for your very helpful book/tape and now CD series.  Thanks for your perspective.  I have found it real helpful that you describe how the many levels of this world relate to codependency and recovery.  I very much value your local/community/global view of spirituality and how it plays into my personal /community /global view and interaction with/in the world. This is hugely impacting for me, as I have needed to integrate my newer spritual beliefs into how I relate with the rest of the world - and I am very much in agreement with how you portray things. Thanks again, I'll be listening more, and will try to hit your website more frequently."

"My name is ______ and I am a 33 yrs old french woman living in the Netherlands. I spent hours reading the pages on ur website. I just feel so close to what u r writing.   thank you for your wonderful site."

"I just want to send a few words your way to say how much valued and appreciated the experiences you have shared have been to me. . . . I was left stunned, just reading the initial few articles that you posted. I did a little bit of regression on myself, and eventually traced some anxious feelings I used to develop when my dad would come home late when I was a child. Everything made so much sense, and it was all greeted with a sense of relief and joy. Spirit has its own mysterious ways, and I feel so relaxed and free now just with the knowledge of a new perspective beckoning. I am actually looking forward to do my own inner healing process, and I am sure this will have a very positive impact for me on the path to just be, let go and live in the moment. . . .  All in all, thanks once again for being the kind soul that spirit sent my way through cyberspace in times when I felt really stuck. I have gained brand new and fresh insights and can't help but feel excited over what lies ahead. . . . P.S: I am on the other side of the world by the way, in the tiny island of Singapore."

"You are love and you are light!  and we are many people around the world who loves you dearly!  Please dont feel that you need to explain yourself as everybody needs help at times, we are humans, and humans dont live on their own and we are all connected!  I shall send you some money by cheque when I can. Right now I dont have any to give away but I will soon and then just take it as a symbol of love, ok?  Also I will put your website as a part of my signature where ever Im online. Hopefully this will generate some traffic and money your way!  Sending you a big hug all the way from Copenhagen, Denmark"

"Even though I know I don't know you, I can relate to your articles on the internet on fears of intimacy on a deep level.  I'm a 22 year old female student from New Zealand and all my life have felt incomplete somehow.  . . . . I'm writing this email just to let you know how much your articles have helped me realise I am not alone and think now I might have the courage to seek help and support to help me begin to heal. I have never talked to anyone about how I feel.  By writing some of my feelings down I think this has also helped me. I can now begin to see light at the end of the tunnel"

"I am thanking god for guiding me to your site when I desperately needed to find a way out. And I thank the universe for responding to my thought!" & "Just want to let you know that I received the book 'Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls' and the 3 CDs on Thursday. I am very happy when I got the parcel and I was even thrill to have your autograph in the book, thank you very much for such a nice thought. My car is like a mobile university to me, I begin to listen to the first CD whilst driving, that is convenient and time well spent when queuing in the traffic!" - from Malaysia

"My web searches regarding codependency and healing my Inner Child have led me to your site.  Thank you for sharing your wisdom, insight and experience through the medium of the Internet, which I'm accessing here in Coventry, UK."

"I've spent the last few days reading your joy2meU website and have found it really useful.  I seemed to have found it just at the right time.  For some time now I have been trying to understand whether my hurts are the result of unhealed past wounds or a consequence of the current situation.  I understand now that I need to detach, and discern between my emotional and spitual truth. I am excited about this process and look forward to discerning between the different "voices" and emotions."

"Wow. I have listened to the CD set twice. What a revelation! I am passing the good news along. I would love to attend one of your workshops. I plan to in the future. I believe that you may be a genius! Thank you for your work."

"I LOVE your website and the blending of psychotherapy, spirituality and native am. wisdom - they all work well together."

"Your articles have been a blessing to me, thank you. . .  I am an actor/writer/director and the process has helped me tremendously in my craft as well, specifically expressing myself in a real way and getting to the point of what I am saying. So if possible that would be great, for my life and art."

"I love your work and find it very deep, enlightening and unlike anything I have read so far. I am in a recovery period, trying to find my lost wounded self. I've experienced lots of trauma as a young child, teen aged sexual molestation and emotional blackmail from my ex-husband of twenty years. Your work is going to be of paramount importance to me, I can see that! I am trying to scrape together some money to come to the Feb. intensive training in San Diego. Don't know if it will happen. Yet I feel driven to attend. We shall see if it comes together for me!

You are a courageous spirit and I am profoundly grateful that I 'discovered' you online. I've already ordered the wounded soul book and look forward to voraciously reading it!  Thanks for all you do for all of us out here in reality!"

"I have really enjoyed reading your website and it has helped me to do some very preliminary work at becoming concious of some of my co-dependency.  Thank you so much for sharing with people your experience and giving hope for the opportunity to become whole beings again who love themself.  I am going to try a CODA group as I feel like it would be better not to try to tackle everything on my own."

"Thank you so much for all your wonderful information. I have spent days printing it and also bought the book-Dance of the wounded souls. I am currently in an anger management class. I have been sharing your stories. Some others have alcoholism in their backgrounds and have found your info helpful. Although this work is a lifelong struggle for me, and just when I think I'm so much better-wham-it hits me in the face how much more work there is to do. Bless you and I'll keep on keeping on. If only I could afford your seminars I'd love to come. Unfortunately not. Thanks for all your help and please put me on the updates in a newsletter."

"Thank you - your web site is proving to be exactly what I need - too bad I didn't come across it before this - a relationship ended and I feel now that a big part was because of my reacting in a childish way - guess I can't go back and make up for the mistakes I made but I can go on from her - loving myself and healing the inner child (children). Your site is wonderful - thanks again.  Yes, please add me to your e-mail list. I appreciate you and your work - keep it going so others may learn to heal."

"Hi Robert….I’m a 51 year old mother of four, and for the first time in my life I can see “why” I’m codependent. I’ve been to countless “co” meetings, and I’ve had the concept explained to me over and over, but I never really understood what it was until tonight. I sat down and started reading excerpts from your book on your website, and now I get it. I’ve been sitting at the computer for nearly 3 hours, and I can’t pull myself away from what I’m reading. My eyelids are getting heavy, so I wanted to “Thank You” for your website before retiring for the evening. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but at least my eyes have finally been opened. Wow!!"

"Hello there.  I am a life coach and am so impressed with what I see on  your site!  As a coach I am aware that without boundaries people subject  themselves to great suffering.  I tell people not having boundaries is like  being a river with no banks.  If a river has no banks eventually it will  evaporate as all the water dissipates!

 Given that, I often give people words to say to help them set boundaries; however I loved YOUR three steps! It is what I have been telling them more or less but I value all the renditions of words you offered.  That makes it  even easier for clients when they can see the choices so clearly!" (refering to the formula shared in Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self - and it is actually a 4 part formula.)



The comments below are from people in response to the request for Help in keeping my book in print that I posted on January 11, 2007.

"I loved reading your book and it has a profound effect on me.  I am happy to make a donation and wish you all the best in the coming year."

"I'm very happy to help. I only wish I could do more. If you ever need any more help just let me know and I will always do what I can. Reading your work has helped me a GREAT deal and I'd like to do whatever I can to see that others have access to the same help. You're very caring and genuine and I think that's why you really touch so many people."

"I admire your intellectual honesty and the way you shared your dilemma. Wishing you much abundance and continued prosperity."

"keep it up its great to see you have persistence and belief in your work  if i had more you would have had it."

"I loved reading your book and it has a profound effect on me.  I am happy to make a donation and wish you all the best in the coming year."

"I  have The dance of the wounded souls...........i have written to u at the beggining of my journey and i had told u .that u had saved my life and i realize now my sanity as well.........can u give me an address i can send u a few dollars.......i hope u recieve enough $$ to continue to help people like me.i belong to a support group for women who are in an abusesive relationship or out of one.....i keep telling everyone about your site.even the social workers.........i keep on spreading your word...........i hope u trudge on.....and u get the suport u need to help women like me.......i dont find your writings to deep.i find they reach my inner core to maintain a healthy mind."

(November 13, 2006)
"I recently bought your 3 CD's: "Codependence; The Dance of Wounded Souls".  I literally CANNOT THANK YOU enough, for the immense service you have done for me. Like you, I am an addict in recovery, with an addiction to almost everything addictive, although I have been clean for almost 10 years. However, I have only recently realized that I am addicted to abusive relationships, and that is what is currently driving my new approach (out of desperation) to recovery. Your CD's, are now downloaded on to my iPod, for me to listen to daily.

I am planning on writing an online review of these CDs'. ANYONE who is open & willing, will heal and grow, because of your work. I am convinced of this.  God bless you, Robert."

"Thank you. Your words have helped me in a new found spiritual joy and freedom."

"I have been reading your web articles off and on for a few months now. They have really helped me pull together the insight I needed to more forward in my recovery. . . So thank you for putting your stuff on the web or else many of us would be in roaming mode for years and years never really able to get it. Your articles really bring it all together in a way that creates the ah ha moments. . . I like to think along your lines of it being a societal disease. Again, more reasons I love your articles, they are softer, and more healing based."

"My friend _______ turned me onto your book.  I was so moved by the accuracy of your perspective and the frank way in which you communicate your knowlege.  I sent the book to my sister in June... she passed away August 7th as a result of her addiction to barbituates for over 30 years... heart attack.  She gained so much from your book and after working on her sobriety seriously for 1 year I was so delighted that she got to read it.  She was really in a good place when she passed and I think God was waiting for her to "get it" and when she did He lifted her from the worldly troubles which engulfed her.

Upon rescuing the book from her home after her passing, I gave it to my mother (25 years in Al-Anon) and she has chewed it up!  Highlights abound on each page!  She said you didn't miss a concept!  I ordered the 3 books so that she can turn others onto you and so will I  Thank you for so eloquently putting all in the perspective of a worldview... we need it.  I just wanted to let you know quickly that your book resonated so deeply with us and to thank you for sharing yourself and your insights with the world.  Bless you  and thanks again!"

"I thank God for you. from the day I came across your book, my life has been transformed. The wounds of my past has been healed and I am truly living in the moment and having fun. I am free at last. Thank you."

"I have just come across your website Joy2MeU and I am so thrilled.  I am in the process of healing my inner child and have just finished reading "Healing your aloneness - finding love and wholeness through your inner child" by Erika Chopich and Margaret Paul. The book was good but I felt I was left with so many questions about how to go about the whole process. My main question was really "how to love myself, how to grow an inner loving parent??"  And now I found your website and have just read your articles about Internal Boundaries. What a relief!! :-)

You approached is both pratical, simple and yet I can feel that its coming from a spritual place. Its like some deep part of me, knows that this comes from a good place!  I shall carry on reading your website with much joy and excitement. And I shall try and figure out how to buy your book when I dont have a creditcard.  Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wisdom!"

"I just want to say, how brilliant the info is on your website."

"I've been reading your book and listening to your tapes, and to be honest, they've literally been a life saver for me. Everything you say resonate with me, is addressing exactly what I'm facing and working on right now.  I really appreciate your very clear writing style as well. Your teaching is being both inspirational, uplifting, and comforting - almost like a security blanket in times of turmoil and deep pain. Thank you for the work that you've done, and continue to do. I can't tell you how immensely it's been a guiding light to me already."

"I recently visited your website for the first time and it had almost brought tears to my eyes.  It was like God led me to you."

"I am sitting here reading your pages, feeling as though I have found a lifeline of sorts. I appreciate your wisdom and perhaps even more importantly your willingness to share it; you are very articulate in the delicate matters of the psyche. Your words penetrate to the levels of my deepest wounds and I am grateful for the spirit of hopefulness and possibility for recovery which they impart. I have found traditional psychotherapy and the more common literature on codependency to be lacking somewhat."

"Hello Mr. Burney, Im taking time out of my busy life to tell you your book is excellent!"

"Dear Robert, I have just read below this piece of your work.  Thankyou!  this has just given me a hugely positive quantam shift in uderstanding myself  God Bless you (dude) Robert

"I very seriously pursued learning about past lives and different planes of existence and all of the esoteric, metaphysical knowledge I could access.  And that pursuit was important in helping me to enlarge my intellectual paradigm - but a few years later I realized that the whole purpose of the pursuit had been to bring about a shift in my relationship with myself, my concept of God/Goddess, and with life.  The details that I had accessed about past lives and other dimensions of existence were not really important in terms of how I live my life today - but the shift in my paradigm, and therefore my relationships, was vital.  At that point in time, I threw away all the notes I had taken about different past lives and such.

The whole purpose of my quest was to discover a belief system that could allow me to start believing that I am in fact Lovable and worthy.  Figuring out how it all works isn't what is important - what is important is discovering the faith to believe that there is a Loving Force in control.  That is what helped me start Loving myself more - to start relaxing and enjoying life a little bit more instead of always giving fear and shame all of the power.

So, anything in terms of details, that I share here are my interpretations.  The interpretations that helped me to discover a belief system that served Love - that was functional in helping me to overcome the dysfunctional beliefs I was programmed with in childhood.  That they may be different from someone else's interpretations does not mean that one is right and one is wrong.  There are a plethora of ways to look at and interpret information which is beyond human understanding. Any explaining or defining of God is limiting - and the Goddess is unlimited.

The purpose of sharing this at all, is the hope it may help you to enlarge your intellectual paradigm - help you to build yourself a larger Spiritual container so that you can open up to accessing more Love in your life."  (This is a quote from The True Nature of Love - Twin Souls, Souls Mates, and Kindred Spirits - which is now part of the Dancing in Light pay to view section of my site.)

"I so value your work and the help you provide to so many."

"Just a quick word to say how pleased I am to have discovered you web site. There is so much information which I want to absorb. I have only this year discovered ACOA. I never knew they existed. . . I would like to get all the info written on your site and put it in one big book which I could hug to myself and feed off of."

"I find the message in your words and on your website inspirational and hope one day to attend one of your 'intensives' all the way from New Zealand. Until then keep up your great work."

"I have never written to an author, to a TV host, or anyone of whom I have never met or will likely never meet.  I can’t help but not write to you and let you know how much your book has meant to me. . . you have helped explain so many things that I feel such a rush of joy and excitement.  I could not put your book down and found myself underlining every single page to bring my eye quickly back to an area that meant a lot to me.  If you did gouge my eye out in a previous life, you have made up the Karmic debt in spades!  Thank you for writing this book….nothing is coincidental (like you say), and I am so glad I saw your quote to motivate me to buy your book, and thank you for your personal touch with your note."

"I appreciate all the work you have done and continue to do and I pass on your name and website and your services as much as I can."

"I wanted to say thank you , for giving me hope again.  I've been struggling with codependence my entire life.  I am 37, and an adult child of an alcoholic.  I just had yet another break up, with someone I love very much.  I can see now that I set myself up for this, yet again.  I am committed to looking at this, and changing my patterns.  Your website is helping so much.  I don't feel so trapped and isolated anymore.  I'll be referring to this site often"

"First, Bless & Thank you for making articles Joy2MeU website available! It is my belief that I have been lead to your site for help."

"I had a feeling he was ready to hear your words (he lives in MA and we talk almost everyday except when I do not respond to drunken phone calls) and he was thankful and told me he would read it. Well!  I have to tell you that not only did he read your book cover to cover for a week while on a business trip..he called me sobbing saying that he finally gets it. He went on line today to find where AA meetings are in his area and says he will attend his first meeting tomorrow on his lunch break. That's a start! So, thank you for being you and having the courage to share your story and helping others in doing so. Your words resonated and touched off something in ____ that enabled him to face his truth. From my mouth to G-ds ears...thank you!"

From the person the above messages was referring to: "Thank you for opening your soul and sharing your emotional connection with "our" higher spirit;....in "The Dance of Wounded Souls" you write on page 10 .."I am sharing my Truth with you. I am sharing my heart and Soul. I ask you, if you can, to be aware of the emotional messages coming from your heart and your Soul as you read this".

This sentence resonated through my Soul as I read and re-read your writings,..extremely powerful emotions poured into my heart as I turned the pages,...and the emotional feelings finally, finally connected!!.....I cant thank you enough for your courage to share "your feelings"....I feel honored that I have had the opportunity to read and greive,..which has allowed me to spiritually heal, open wounds that I have carried as toxic shame for 50 years!!  Please add me to your your e-mail list....I thank you again for your Truth,...I'm on a new Life discovery of wonderment and Joy, through the awareness of appreciatition of living in the moment and grace of the miracles of today......Thanks to two Loving Spirits...you and _____"

"I am reading your book and it is great!  It really speaks to me on so many levels -- It's the kind of book that you don't want to rush through.  Thanks very much for writing this book!"

"I would like to be put on your mailing list so I can receive any updates you may have on your wonderful page. I came across this page nearly three days ago and I cannot tell you enough how much this is saving my life! I mean it.  I would love to eleborate on what I mean, but I believe you know exactly what I mean. Thank you for a terrific website. And I pray you receive adequate funding so you can publish more books and get this message out to many, many more people. God bless you"

"Like you, I became aware of my other disease, that of rampant codependency, more or less when I was nine or ten years into my recovery from alcoholism, also. I related closely to your story, bought and read your book two or three years ago, learned much about my own codepedency and how to heal from it. The sharing of your experience, strength and hope has helped me immensely. I am now living in Mexico, retired, sober, happy, joyous and free.  Thank you very much, Robert."

"What a blessing to have come across your web site.  I can't wait to read your book. . . I began my search on the internet for false self image, removing the mask, etc. when I came across your web site.  It is in your words that I have found the answer to my questions for my self.  Your writngs caused an unbelievable spiritual awakening with in myself.  My false self images I was representing began in the child hood wounds.  Everything is suddenly very clear and I have a true direction in which to work.  I am very excited to have found you and very excited to present topic tomorrow night where I wll be quoting many of your words and referencing your writings, book and web site. . . Thank you for all that you do, and you will be seeing my name again. God has blessed you, there is no doubt."

"Recently I have purchased your book Dance of Wounded Souls. And I have printed out so many of your articles to place in a binder for my reference.  I have been working through recovery for 15 years--working through family dysfunction and addiction. I have several books and have been through some counselors. I have made steady progress and have journaled the whole journey.  When I came across your definitions of codependency and about inner child healing you opened it up for me like no one else.  Especially about emotional honesty. That opened my eyes and a flood of healing has come to me. I thank you for all of your hard work and the legacy it leaves for people like me. I have never worked so hard for my recovery as I have in the last 5 months. You had the key I was looking for.

Another counselor who has helped me also incredibly is Iyanla Vanzant. Have you heard of her? She and two other wonderful counselors run a 'Starting Over House' in L.A.  They have a TV show on in the mid morning channel 6. I have also been working through her book called "In the Meantime". It also comes with a workbook, "Living in the Meantime" She has similar views to yours, but you have a way (that works best for me) of bringing it all to light.  Thank you so much."

"I wanted to let you know that stumbling upon your website last year began what has really totally transformed my life."

"As someone who grew up in a far from perfect home, your article and website helped alot. I know I have a long way to go, but it already feels like a weight has been lifted just knowing that I'm not alone, or paranoid. Being around so many people who had it alot worse off than me made me wonder if I wasn't just being sensitve. . . Thank you so much for having the website up. It has helped me see and learn so much about myself and the type of parent I want to be."

"Reading your website, is such a powerful catalyst in my continuing recovery, every word pulls a resounding "yes" "yes" from deep within, . .  I won't take more of your time now except to say thank you for creating such a helpful, clear, nuturing, spirit driven book"

"I really do appreciate all the information you have made available. You have helped me more than you will ever know. I'm happier and finding more joy in life, less stress. I am getting closer to my daughter and husband, and I am seeing who I really am. I've even lost weight now. I had no idea that all the junk you collect growing up could affect you so much as an adult. I really feel like God led me to your website, it was a huge blessing in my life. Many blessings to you in return sir."

"Thanks for sending your book: "The dance of wounded souls" Thanks for writing it!!!"

"I had just checked in and read your August update. Readers and appreciators of your work who have some recollection of past accounts of your history with cars are going to derive a lot of pleasure from the image of you and your family riding in air-conditioned comfort and from your account of the Ford Focus. Your description of an "Intensive Training Session" appeared as if in response to questions I had been asking of my Higher Power after my own recent Adventure in Relationships. At the risk of this sounding like my August update, I have been experiencing a profound sense of inertia that I told myself was just a reaction to the extreme heat and to the increased work load with my new job. However, I haven't been able to muster the enthusiasm to do much more than go to work everyday. I caught myself Friday feeling that I didn't want to get close to anyone (at work, I said).

Today, I became aware that I had suspended myself, so to speak, between two mutually irreconcilable, equally untenable extremes: a) spending the last quarter of my life alone (and, if that's all there is, I don't want to be conscious); and (b), being drawn into (because I don't make good choices) another relationship (because it will end badly, and I will be back at (a), at which point, if that's all there is, I don't want to be conscious). I felt like a beetle which had gotten on its back, struggling to right itself, but fearing, once it gets on its feet, it will only get squashed. With that many types of codependent thinking in operation, no wonder the best option felt like remaining unconscious. Robert, I kept thinking my first task was to get myself out of this emotional place. And, since the one thing I did not think I could do was to take action, I keyed "taking action" into the search engine on your site. In your article, "Obsession/Obsessive Thinking, Part 2," I found the following passage:

"It was very valuable for me in recovery to realize that I cannot force myself out of an emotional place - I can't force my process.  I learned that I needed to accept where ever I was emotionally - no matter how uncomfortable.  Once I accept where I am at, then I can take some action that will be helpful in moving me to a different emotional place.

One of the things I have control over, that I have the power to change, is what I am doing in the moment.  I have the power to force myself to take an action.  Not because I "should" - because it is the kind thing to do for me.

Allowing myself to be in my head wallowing in the agony of the trauma drama that is obsession is not a kind thing to do for myself.  Getting up and getting in motion is a good thing.

I take the deep breaths to get into the moment.  I look around and see that the sink is full of dirty dishes.  So I do the dishes.  Then as I am drying my hands I look around and notice what a beautiful day it is outside.  So, I go out and take a walk."

This passage is the equivalent for me of the Universe's gift to you of a "new" Focus. Although "wallowing in the agony of the trauma drama" still comprises a portion of what I have written here, and the act of writing might still be at some remove from actually "getting up and getting in motion,"  I had to express my gratitude for this astonishing passage. If my Higher Power had assumed corporeal form, sat down in front of me, and spoken these words to me, they could not have more directly addressed my immediate situation. Thank you. Now to get up and get in motion!

With Wishes that Joy, Love, Peace ~and Playfulness~ Abound for You and Your Family,"

"I was so grateful that you addressed the inner child who does not want to live (Union Within - healing the inner child) on your site. It was good to know that someone else understands this and acknowledges this honestly. Yesterday I managed to talk to my inner child about the pain and why she does not want to live and I made some progress towards healing.  May your work continue to bless and help people around the globe. Thanks that you share what you have experienced and learnt."

"I wanted to express my sincere gratitude for the articles on your site.  I have searched for months on the topic of Inner Child Therapy, more to keep myself focused on my recovery, but also to hear various ways to approach it.  I've found a lot of insight and hope throughout your site, and I've shared it with many.  I'm very grateful that the information is out there, and I've got a feeling you've helped more people than you know because of it."

"I am writing to you cause I am so excited and want to share with you. I am reading on your website and little by little I learn new things and you are giving me new tools, which I am SO greatfull for. It feels like your story, your experience and knowledge is the missing link I have been looking for. So once again thank you so much for sharing."

"Thank you so much for your web site and all of the voluminous, vitally helpful and healing information.  Without being able to access your site daily, I'd be at a painful loss at this time in my life.  I did Inner Child work several years ago and my therapist has since left this small town, leaving me without the kind of therapy that I know works well for me and the kind of therapy that both my Inner Child and I like and believe in.

I am doing MORE grief work now and working daily on MORE of my unresolved issues, due to your WONDERFUL web site information.  I have learned and utilized some new information from you.  I appreciate your emotional honesty, your writing, your generous spirit, your insights, your creativity and your journey.  I wish only abundant blessings and love and serenity and joy and lots of laughter in your life.  May your Higher Power surround you with love, serenity, warm hugs and total acceptance."

"Thank you for the updates of your information. I am so appreciative of your work and how it has assisted me in my recovery."

"I had received your book, Wow everything in the book is me. What co-dependent can do to me. How powerful it can be, I see it everyday. In my own way I realize what I was doing for me today, healing my inner child is wonderful. And how I can take care of the little children who we’re controlling my life. Robert Since I started reading your work on the enter-net. What it did for me, I was so full of fear. Because I thought I had committed sin, with the wrong I did. Today I thought about my past, what a wonderful experience I had to live to be here at the present moment. Thank you again Robert there is hope."

"I am waiting to receive your first book which I have bought through Amazon and I am trying to plough my way through the super-abundant material on line, its all a bit overwhelming, but in a good way. There are so many points I can relate to. I never realized my Mums drink problem and other family problems had such a devastating effect on me. I have been printing out some if your articles but would absolutely love to be able to buy a book with it all in. Please bring out another book soon. Last year when I was doing some research on line I came across the acoa world service. I was very disappointed with it. It said very little to me. It just made me feel really guilty, where as your site speaks volumes and had been an enormous help. The world service really should have a major place on their front page for your site, it is leagues better that theirs."

"Just to let you know I got your book today.  I've been reading it and it is truly amazing.  It gives me peace.  I love reading it. Thank you so much."

"I am delighted with it.  I have been on my journey of recovery for many years...but there are things in your book that no one else I have read has articulated so beautifully.  I am just now discovering that it truly is "inner children", and amazed at how a 15 year old girl inside me has had so much control!  What you said is true, I was living part of my life through her eyes and while her thinking got me through some very hard years, they are not in agreement with my adult self.  Also, I have healed so much but it never fully goes away.  I am in therapy for over 15 years, and am always surprised when something, kicks up...and I bring something into my consciousness and need to grieve.  And grieve I do.  Your book puts it all in perspective.  Also, I love your concept of the Divine.  Your talent is a gift.  I will be sharing your work with others.  It has helped me feel better about myself just in reminding me that it is a process and I have come so far.  Something to celebrate!"

"I am writing from Australia and just letting you know that your message is being received down under. I have had the privilege of receiving your CD version of Codependence : The Dance of the Wounded Soul, from a very good and insightful couple of friends. . . . Eight years on and meeting many spiritual and healthy people, I was introduced to your work. WOW. It cut through me like a knife, and finally I found another person who had the courage to tell me the truth and without the bullshit. . . . I wanted to thank you from my spirit and heart, for your courage, honesty and cutting through the illusionary bullshit around us.  Co-dependence has caused so much dis-ease in my life that I finally wanted to unveil it and see for what it really was. . . Thank you again for allowing  my wounded soul to dance again and lifting the darkness off Co-dependence.  With Great Respect and Kind Regards."

"How are you, myself I’m doing good, thank you so much for your book. Wow what a wonderful learning experience, I have lived to be here at the presented moment. I started reading your book and what it taught me, I feel reading your book gave me a good understanding for myself. I feel no more being stack in the past. Why you explain everything with the truth, and right to point. . . . Thank you my friend for sharing your knowledge, and what its doing for me is beautiful. Keep up with the great work your doing. . . . What I acknowledge since I’m on my healing journey, you gave me hope. By what you shared in your book. I hope my friends with find their answers to."

"I live in South Africa and came upon your website in my search for information on healing the inner child. Thanks for your very informative website. . . Your website has helped me immensely in my own work on healing my inner child (children) and in working with my therapist in working through the traumas."

"I have been so troubled these past few days. I met someone that I knew would be a gift or a lesson., triggering something in me that I couldn't explain. Becoming needy, obsessive and clinging is so opposite of who I thought I was. I have felt so grounded and truly ME that, well, I still shake my head with puzzlement. What happened in a few short minutes to bring me to this unpleasant state of affairs?  I sometimes forget that Spirit wants us to be happy, joyous and free. It shocks me that I can give up my power so easily when I have fought so hard to take it back after so much sadness and confusion.

Finding this site is easing me. I have found words here to stop the cycle of self loathing and questioning, always questioning. IT WAS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!  I am a very loving and accepting person and it has been very difficult to accept the fact that I am not past this point of foolishness. I now know that that this man is both a lesson and a gift. Mostly a gift and I also know that I still have so much work to do...damn it!!.  Anyhow thanks for helping me get somewhat centered again. It is such a relie"

"I received and read your book and it helped me to love myself through a really rough patch Thankyou"

"Thanks...your web site is very inspirational...my brother sent it to me"

"I received your book yesterday and have read 1/2 of it already.  Wow!  I am getting so much out of it.  I wish I could even memorize it.  I am fully aware of my co-dependence, and have been working the 12 steps since this past February.  I am 51 years old and realize this will not come easy or happen overnight. . . I also want to thank you so much for signing my book.  I was so impressed by that.  I didn't even think you would know I was buying your book!"

"Your site is an incredible. Thanks so much for giving such a gift to us. I have to say that I really don't know where to begin in order to get the most from the site, but I will just dive in."

"I stumbled across your web page by putting in emotional healing in the google search engine. It has been a revelation to me. I felt like crying when I read the quote Robert wrote about being born at a heart chakra level of conciousness and then had to shut down our hearts. He said that is why it hurt so much because we were expecting something kinder and gentler and about feeling as though we had been born on a whole different planet. (this refers to the article Jesus & Christ Consciousness) I have felt this all my life."

"I went to google.com and typed "Broken heart". I found your texts translated in Finnish. (links to those articles can be found on the Romantic Relationships index page) I read them once. Started from beginning and read them again. I spend the whole night reading. Reflecting my life, I found a bit of comfort in them. It made sense. The whole thing. . .  The bottomline is, your writings made me feel better and there seems to be correlation."

"I wish to thank you for having made your pages of Applying Twelve Step Spiritual Principles available to readers.  Though I have read only several different pages, I know I will go to your words every day."

"Finding your web site came at the perfect time on my journey.  A coworker loaned me the book, "Perfect Daughters. Adult daughters of alcoholics" and saved my life. I mean that! From there, I began searching for more help. That's when I found your site. I sent a link to the friend with the book and we have both been printing and reading all of your information. I want to express to you what an incredible gift your willingness to share your journey means to me!!!!!  THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What a wonderful website you have!  I am learning so much in reading, but still am having difficulty putting the stuff into action.   Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experiences."

"you deserve a huge thank you!!!  Your web site is highly informative and very stimulating to read!!!"

"I wanted to write to you and tell you that I feel really grateful to have found your book/CD it was great. I really identified with everything you had to say. I am about 9 months in CODA recovery and I have turned on the tap of self awareness and its flowing so fast, it is great, but I sometimes wish I could turn it off!!"

"I just need to tell you how important your site has been to me and how much your writings have helped me.  I haven't looked at your site in a long time (probably a year).    Tonight I really needed a word from God.  I am really down...Your words were a source of comfort,  power, and understanding all wrapped up in one.  Thank you for your words of hope and light and encouragement.  Thank you.  I really felt desperate tonight qnd decided to look on your site in my favorites...and wow...there it was...A New Year ~ 2006....It said it all! I wish I could send you a thousand dollars because you have meant so much to me"




(August 13, 2006)
"I have purchased a copy of your "Dysfunctional Relationships" E-book for my wife and myself. I recently shared it with the therapist who leads my SAA recovery group. she has 17 years in the field and did a fellowship with Patrick Carnes in the late 80's. She was impressed enough to have it included in our group work."

"Robert my name is _______ I am a recovering codependant. May I say  that your work is for me life-saving and vital to the growth in understanding of not only myself and my own recovery but i believe of the whole of humanity as a dysfuntional entity."

"I have been feeling hopeless and depressed for as long as I can remember.  I have been on your web-site reading for the past three days.  I just ordered your book and I am so excited to get it and finally find an answer to the emotional pain that has plagued me for years.  I have 17 years of sobriety in a 12 step program but have not been able to overcome the loneliness and pain that caused the addiction in the first place. While reading your web pages I felt hope.  It just felt right and made sense to me.  I have been working on me for awhile but keep ending up in the same places.  Perhaps this will be the key that releases me from the past so I can live in the present.  Thank you for the hope!"

"I just wanted to say thanks for having such a site. It helped a few times in what felt like the darkest of hours...............have a good night!"

"I have read your book, Dance of Wounded Souls, I gave my first copy away and then bought another. I come back to your site often to read your special message. You are a very gifted person. Living in the now and learning in the now is so great to be a part of. I have shared this site and bought your book for a Lady friend I meet at a 12 step meeting. She was raised Catholic and attended Catholic schools. She is amazed with your book and insight about the 12 steps and the Higher Power sneaking it in this program for all. She feels we were alcoholics so we could get the message and help spread the word as I do. The messages you put out for free are so good. I just wanted to say thanks to a very gifted and special Spirit, Thanks Robert."

"I love your website."

"Your work, web-site, insights, etc, by the way, excels anything I have read on co-dependance -- as the "global" issue it really is. You have really been blessed with the determination to see and express this issue where it needs to be seen and understood. However, as a researcher and writer myself, this is no job for the meek of heart or mind, and I so simultaneously envy and admire the Olympic and "productive" effort you willingingly undertook to achieve it. Whew.

I forgot to add that your insight on counter-dependence (Narcissism) is a critical missing, (or masked) link to the whole picture and one I am hoping to see you elaborate more on. In fact, I just read an essay by Nathanial Brandon, called Counterfeit Individualism which "intellectually" hits this right on its masked and covertly co-dependent nose. God bless!"

"your website is great!  had to buy the book.. thanks a million"

"Your writing has given me many of the tools and perspectives I need to love myself, to feel my feelings, to heal my old wounds--to becoming a recovering codependent."

"dear robert, i have been reading your posts for a year now and so has my husband. we are processing much inner child stuff this past 2 years. i would just like to say how much your web page sharings have meant to us both - your honest emotional sharing have helped us both to be more honest with ourselves and each other. i have been a coda person for l9 years now and am amazed and sometimes disheartened at the amount of emotional stuff i am still doing.  thanks again for your personal sharings. they have brought much clarity to the present 'tearing down' situation my husband and i have been dealing with for the past 2 years."

"I have been reading your web site and cry every time I do. The things you write about are EXACTLY what my issues are."

"I love your site, thank you for doing it and writing what you have written."

"From my heart I wish to thank you for sharing your story about Shorty. (Grief, Love, & Fear of Intimacy) I sit at my computer in tears for it has touched a very deep part of my heart and my soul.  I have been working recently with my very own wounded 3 year old who was so defiant who has sabotaged so many of my relationships - externally and internally within me, between my heart and my Spirit and Higher Self.  Today I find your website and I know I directed by Source to find the missing pieces of what else is left to heal.

Thank you so much for being so truthful and honest and for bearing your soul, so that others like me can read, learn, heal, cry and grow. I appreciate you for all that you offer to mankind in their quest for union - not only with another, but more importantly with themselves.  Bless you for your insight and work.  Many thanks from New Zealand"

"I felt I needed to write and say how much I enjoyed and related to your book. Thanks you for your book. After all of the self-discovery-help I have read on my journey. This is one I know I will keep."

"It was a pleasure getting your latest newsletter.  I'm glad to hear your second Intensive was a success and your plans for the next two are moving on so well. . . . From the newsletter, which I have not processed entirely yet, it sounds as though you are in a great personal and spiritual place and your life with Susan and Darien sounds not only interesting but rewarding. I have 4 children: two are grown and two still teenagers. My youngest is a 17-year-old boy, who is at once both one of the most lovable persons I know and one of the most exasperating. And yet, I find solace in your words about setting boundaries without being judgmental, for I, as you, was reared in an atmosphere where judgments came fast and furious and were seldom positive.  So while my ___ and your Darien are far apart in age, their need for love and guidance is still the same. Reading that in your newsletter made me feel good and gave me a positive stroke for myself, because I know that as I heal my Wounded Soul, I am becoming a more loving and accepting person. I hope this job of mine eases up soon, just so I can re-emerge myself in the language and literature of recovery, which, I will tell you, emanates from you and your communications in abundance. I always feel good after reading you."

"I want to say thank you for sharing your great knowledge with me. I really enjoy reading your email and all the work you had put into the computer. Continue with your journey and hope for the people of this nation. . .You had taught me many things I had no knowledge off, continue with your journey."

"I want to thank you for your website, it has truely turned my life around. I have finally discovered why over all the years even in childhood I was unable to have any long term relationships even with friends and I am truely grateful for that, it has saved my life, I now know love. I feel like I am born all over again and life is beautiful. You are truly special."

"I came across your web page today Joy 2 me you and proceeded to read a lot about myself and my relationships. The descriptions were very accurate and it has lifted a great deal from my shoulders. Thank you so much for making this public. I hope to find out more and read more on co-dependency from your sources"

"I have enjoyed your writings immensely. I am a recovering alcoholic, but still struggling. I am a member of AA, and do the do things they suggest. Your writings have certainly been an encouragement to me."

"I am sure you have to have heard this before many times.... I am so blown away by what I have read so far on your site ...I have no words to explain the feelings inside me right now!! I am so emotional moved and excited I can barely type.  I'm sure you know how much you work has changed the quality of life for people like myself. It is truly like a miracle!  Thank you very much for your time and for you incredible wisdom."

"Robert, I believe that a large part of the reason why I have found the serenity and peace which accompanies me these days, is the understanding which I have and share, about just what happened and how it happened. This enlightenment is recent and I believe is a direct result of enmeshing into spiritual philosophies which you describe. Thank you."

"I have a friend I want to share the book and CD with.    You helped me tremendously in breaking out of the co dependent cycle I was in, and what I learned has helped me avoid new entanglements as time has gone on.  I am truly thankful for the part you have played in my healing."

"I was on the internet looking for a recovery center that had inner child counseling and I came across your incredibly informative website.  Thank you!   So much of what I read seems to associate with the way my life is going right now.  I am desperately searching for spirituality (mostly through Buddhism) and I have recently discovered/uncovered that I have slowly been cutting myself off from the world; which really scares me!!!  I seem to have high anxiety and live in constant fear of people/the world."

"Will my friend I thank my god for a wonderful spiritual teacher, who he has giving the great knowledge to share with others spiritual being. I feel fortune to know you Robert. I feel I was guided to find you by searching for answer. I feel honored for your teaching my friend. Keep up the great job your doing. People need your help"

"i have been reading for 2 days almost, as much as i can of what you have written, because it is True. The day before i started reading i met my Inner Lover, and now there are all these children.  I just wanted to say something to you really,because its been such a turning point , but where do you write about the Inner Lover_with total appreciation and waiting for your book to arrive"

"Dear Robert:
           "That critical parent voice sneaks in there and translates the
                    feelings in a blaming, negative way - it is nasty." (my replies to an e-mail)

     Yes, that is just exactly what it does and what it is.

            "So, do the positive affirmations and shut up the critical
                    parent voice - and nurture yourself through the grief."

I feel like I have just received the equivalent of Isaac Newton's calculus. Emotional calculus. How a Magnificent Spiritual Being having a Human experience moves through an emotional process. I am deeply grateful for the richness of your response and in a state akin to numinous awe at the manifest genius in every sentence. I just wanted to say that before I scurry away to a more private space to unpack these insights and exclaim over each one: "Oh, I needed this one so much! And this one! And that one!" Thank you so very much, Robert. "

"I searched on "alcoholic spiritual" and found your site.  Just browsing your site has brought me comfort."

"i found your information and read with interest your articles on co-dependency and sibling roles on the internet while searching for answers to my troubled family relationships.  Your descriptions of sibling roles struck so many chords for me."

"Thank-you for your great web site, it is very informative."

"Your website has really helped me... you explained the way to focus my mind in a way that just clicked with me... I understood the concept that I was reacting to certain situations out of my old emotional wounds but could only fathom it at a consious level and found it very hard to actually make any progress in not being trapped in those thoughts (in my case focusing all my energy on the fact that a certain girl i am seeing would, hurt me, leave me, let me down etc.)  I finally have been making huge progress and know that the relationship is not the be all and end all and I am able to just relax and be in the moment and not always have to listen to messages of impending doom... I am getting better at knowing when my inner child who was let down badly is trying to drive the bus and I have been talking to him. (and yes I felt really silly in the beginning).  Obvously its an ongoing thing and the fear is still there but its not even half as intense adn controlling as it was.  I tried running away and even sabotaging the relationship as the fear I had was so bad.  But it never felt that it was the right thing to do and that I should at least see where it would bring me... even if i was to get hurt in the end surely not knowing or being open to it out of fear would be worse.  My partner has the same fears, so she has started reading your website and we have been more open and able to calm each other down when we are having a row thats not to really do with the situation and we are reacting to old wounds... her the little girl who's father left her and me the mother who let me down. no matter what happens now though... I know it WILL be ok in teh long run. and I thank you for that."

"Hi Robert , I have read your book and found it to be a remarkable and inspiring read."

"My name is _____.  I just got done reading most of the articles on your sight.  I had found your site a couple of years ago-but then lost the link. I found it this weekend again-I am so glad-while I was researching this weekend-and one of sites I went to-linked to you.   I have your link safely on a favorites tracking log-so I am not likely to lose it again."

"Thank you so much Robert - for all the info on your website AND for the book you wrote. I have been reading it all week and it has touched me deeply and encouraged me with the most perfect timing as I've been surrendering and grieving my old ego-self for the past 10 days or so. Haven't quite gotten to the celebration point, but as I sense it is coming, I have an undercurrent of excitement at the prospect!"

"I found your site and contacted you about a year ago at the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful man.  With the help of your site, I was able to understand as he underwent therapy to heal his toxic shame, and simultaneously was able to grow myself, lovingly and spiritually.  This wonderful man and I are getting married in October and I was wondering if you would mind if one of the readings we do at our ceremony contained some of the wonderful and loving quotes from your site.  I would credit you, of course. Your words are love, strength, hope, life.  I can't think of a better song to the Universe and to each other."

"I would like to say that by reading your articles on the web have really helped me at a very, very difficult time in my life. I realise that you probably thousands of these letters a day, but if you’ll permit me I'd like to tell you what has happened to me recently and how your words have eased the pain in my heart."

"I love your site, thank you for doing it and writing what you have written. . . You showed such tremendous insights in your articles"

"My friend and I have been on a search for a long time, using the internet.  This search,through many different sites has helped us find out "Who in the heck are we.who are they, why we are like we are, so_on and so-on!  We are both spiritually minded believing our higher power is God, that will never change.  But we both feel that God has led us to you.  There is no comparison to the other sites that could just put it out there in a magnificent way as you.  I am overwhelmed,and deeply thankful to my friend for calling me,with such excitement, and eming your site to me.  There will be no other sites, YOUR IT, OUR BROTHER!  I thank you for sharing your wisdom and others with us.  I just know we are at the point of growth that God has truly led us to you for the much needed help I need.  The inspiration and excitement that I have been given, knowing that in this search of ours, you are our final "find"!  Please, may I be part of the most inspiring of all sites on this web. My appreciation,again for your wisdom and sharing to so many of me and my brothers and sisters.  I would do anything I can to help you keep these powerful lessons of me so I can be an example to others that they may ask me "What has happened to you"  What a gift of God you have.  I am still trying to find my spiritual gifts vs fruits To end .  Please help me grow up!  and add me to your site. Thank you so much "

(June 17, 2006)
 "I was reading your article this a.m. (I have all the articles on codependence and healing the inner child from your website printed out and sitting on my table and every a.m. I read one while eating breakfast) on interrupting the negative messages that the inner child sends with positive messages, and I was really tickled by your progress in replacing your "I want to die" message with the "I want to live message." as well as the more theatrical "I feel pretty. . ." message that emerged one a.m. (Union Within - healing the inner child - 5 years later)

I just wanted to share with you how much progress I have made in healing my inner child in the last year and that I believe your messages have been instrumental in helping me to become whole -- at least more whole than I have ever been in my life, and that is nearly 57 years. One of the signs has been my lack of fear in signing up for your day-long seminar on Apr. 23. When I received the announcement, I immediately wanted to attend.  Then when I saw it was being held in San Francisco (a place I have never been but have always wanted to visited) I wanted to go so bad I could taste it. After only 10 min. of self-doubt, I decided to sign up for the seminar. That's been nearly four days, and I haven't had one moment of regret or fear about it. When you consider I live on the East Coast and so had to pay for airfare, hotel and rental car as well as meals, entertainment, etc., the cost factor is not insignificant. In the past I would have found a thousand reasons not to go and a million reasons to regret having signed up. But none of that this time.

I know that attending your seminar and having the chance to visit S.F. are not only two things I want to do, but that doing them will be good for me and good for my mental health.

So today, I also feel "pretty, and witty and wise." And one of the reasons is that I have become wise enough to follow the lead of others like yourself, rather than trying to be the "know-it-all" codependent expert that characterized so much of my former life.

So I'm flying in on Fri. a.m. and spending a couple of days visiting S.F. and environs before attending the seminar, and I want to thank you for helping me take advantage of such a wonderful and serendipitous opportunity." (This person did attend the Intensive Seminar in San Francisco - and among his comments afterwards is this quote "Robert Burney's intense training seminar on Codependence was everything I expected it to be and a whole lot more." - which is shared on the Testimonials for Intensive page.)

"quite honestly the benefit I've gained from your material has been so great that you deserve way beyond the price of admission to the training anyway. I am very happy paying the $200 registration price."

"Just received your newsletter, I am VERY VERY HAPPY that your program was a success. I am glad you are holding more training. And yes, surely I don’t think the day might be far when you take your wonderful work and wisdom to far away lands [like mine!! :-) India] and help the people there. THANK YOU FOR MAKING OUR WORLD A BETTER PLACE.  I HOPE SOMEDAY I CAN HELP YOU IN THIS!!!!
I am really and truly so grateful that i found you and your site. i know i told you this before too, but i really cant do justice to my appreciation for your help and work in words. Bye!!!"

"I read thru much of your website and I am very inspired by it.  I have been feeling that something is missing from the 12-step CoDA meetings and now I know it is true."

"I really want to thank you for your wonderful article on Setting Boundaries. (Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self)  I am a lay teacher and help other women experience emotional healing and growth. I really enjoyed this article and was able to share it with someone I am working with. . . . Please know what a dynamic influence your work can have on others. I appreciate your sharing your knowledge in this way online."

"I would like to first tell you that your website is awesome and that I am grateful for discovering it."

"Thank you for the wonderful  website.  I want to say again how much I enjoyed the workshop in Ft. Erie, Ontario when you were there and the book is great. It is in  my car at all times as I read when I have to wait for my Aunt or my  mom or someone or something. And, I must say you look great and younger without the facial hair. Congratulations on the family you have attained."

"Your work is brilliant and from what I've read on your website I am just utterly blown away by this material.   It's like finally someone has put this mess of codependance into perspective so it can be healed!"

"Hi Robert!  I don't know if you remember me emailing you last year about wanting to recover from my addictions or not.  I was really struggling. You were so kind to reply to my email and I'll never forget it!   Well I finally did it!  Picked up my white chip Feb. 12th!  Just wanted to share that with you and thank you again for your kindness!"

"Your writing is more insightful and instructive for change than Bradshaw and Melody Beattie of codependence no more.  Pia Melody's  pretty good but you're more broad thinking in concepts and more  compassionate too. . .  I have been in therapy since I was 19, I'm 48 and am just learning  about boundaries and not from the help of my therapist  unfortunately.  She knows inner child work but not how boundaries  directly relate to it.  Your work has been an invaluable resource as I read it tonight."

"Can't wait to get the book! Spend the whole weekend reading up on your web. Wow, I certainly like your angle on relationships. Got to your site after searching for passive-aggressive behaviour on Alta-vista. Most of what I have read so far resonates with me. And thanks a million for all the info that you do have available. Wish that most sites are like that!!!! South African greetings."

"I am new to your site and your work but in a matter of 3 days I have learned and been extremely comforted by your writings.  I thank you!"

"I'm studying alternative medicine in Beijing, China being raised in traditional Chinese culture, growing up in Muslim society, going to Catholic schools, becoming protestant, have western education background, I've been longing to find the Truth, and I'm so glad and thankful I read your writing, I can't wait to do my own spiritual healing and let my Truth sets me free. Thank you Robert."

"Thank you - you may have saved my sanity...I had forgotten that I'm worthwhile."

"i have been reading tons of stuff lately on your web pages and am finding the info helpful in advancing my own healing work. . . my husband and i are both finding much helpful stuff on your site to continue to help us both process feelings. and 'buttons'.  you validate a lot of things that i had discerned over the years on your pages.  so much of what you say rings so true."

"Thank you for your beautiful words.  As I read more with each passsing day I feel as though I am moving closer to a better understanding of my True Self.  You have helped me open my eyes and see true meaning in each and ever moment I experience.   Thank you for your time and for sharing your amazing journey."

"Thanks for getting the book and tapes out right away-and by priority mail. Just wanted to let you know that I have really enjoyed reading so many selections from your site and have been sending friends there as well. . . I think you are very talented and gifted. I would like to thank you for sharing your philosophys and experiences so that others may learn and grow. Sometimes its nice to know that we're not the only ones going through things...or having a "human experience"...growing. Thanks again!"

"I’m very empowered and inspired just by reading parts of your website!"

"Yes i have found your book very valuable. At first i thought that i would be able to read quite quickly but found that i had to keep putting it down and then return to it later. It was as if i was looking into a mirror, and reading things that i thought were only personal to me, you even on occasion used actual phrases that i have used myself. I'm still reading it at the moment and have talked about it so much to my friend that i have ordered her a copy to stop her from stealing mine. You could say shes worse than me! so i think it will be a great help to her, and if that wasn't enough i am just about to order another copy for someone else."

"great book thanks so much"

"I have discovered your website yesterday and I have been reading as  many of the articles as I can fit in before and after work and in the  middle of the night!  I am sure I will settle down but in truth the  honesty and wisdom is extremely refreshing and totally appropriate to  where I am at the moment. After years of healing I have spent much of  the last 6 months getting in touch with my emotions and that has lead  to an extraordinary amount of crying. Your words have put this grief  in context and a lot of my healing now makes more sense emotionally,  intellectually and spiritually. I look forward to reading more and  buying your book but I just wanted to take a brief moment to say  THANKYOU for your calm, soothing and wise words."

"I just want to say what a most amazing book you have written, it totally blew me away to think that someone else has the exact feelings and problems. The way you have expessed and explained what we are going through is quite extrodinary and you work is of great importance to people."

"Robert,  Your writing today has been a blessing, a joy and a painful acceptance of my codependancy for most of my life.  I have learned that being honest with my feelings is what will keep me safe and healthy... thanks.. God bless you greatly and gives you the energy and resources you need to share this truth with many others."

"I've been reading the articles on your website for the last couple of weeks, and they have really struck a chord with me. Someone recently gave me a Border's gift card that was good at amazon.com, so I decided to buy your book, and I'm really looking forward to reading it. Thank you very much, and keep up the great articles online  :) Wishing you continued success"

"I love what you have written generally and specifically on the inner child - it certainly matches all of what I have experienced and taught over the past 20 years."

"First of all a big Hearty thanks! Your site has and is helping me on my journey to recovery from my dysfunctional family and self."

"I have just been on your site and must thank you for your work on behalf of myself and all the other people who have benefitted from as a result of your valliant effort's"

"I want to thank you for your extraordinary website.  It is literally changing my life day by day as I begin to understand so much about myself, my life.   I look forward to reading your book and have ordered the ebooks . . . . . . You are saving lives, Robert, helping me reclaim mine I feel.   Again thank you so much."

"I purchased your book, "Codependence:  Dance of Wounded Souls" a short time ago and have been reading your articles on your web site on a nearly daily basis. I am learning to heal my inner child(ren) due to your insightfulness and efforts to share what you know to be Truth. I won't elaborate.  Just want you to know that your work is truly appreciated.  YOU are truly appreciated!"

"I just found your site last week and wanted to say thank you for your piece of this great puzzle.  Your words resonate with my sister and I, who have been recovering from Ritualistic Satanic Abuse behind the Mormon Church."

"Again thanks heaps for your work  Having subscribed to Dancing in the Light.  I was wondering how long it will take before I receive a username and  password and link and start dancing! I am v keen. In the meantime I will practice patience :) and read the 3 million  other worthy words you have posted so generously for free."

"Your site is fantastic. I have turn on everyone I know to it. It says what is happening. I may not like what I read, but then that’s why I’m looking at your site. To get some insight as to why my life seams so in the toilet."

"I know you are a very busy man but would just like to thank you for your book and tapes which I found extremely helpful as a starting point in my recovery!"

"I'd like to thank you for your book,'Dance of wounded souls' and tapes-have gained so much from them. I'm also gaining so much from your website, you would never even imagine. I was going through a time in my life when i just couldn't get any answes from anyone, and then I came across your website. It has answered so many of my questions-thank you!"

"About half a year ago I had stumbled upon your site and ordered your book, The Dance of The Wounded Souls.  I know I have much work and healing to do in many areas and I am very glad for the sharing you do and your dedication to help others who are looking within."

"I wanted so much to take the time to tell you how much I appreciate your book . . .  thanks for the help on my journey back to myself . . thank you again for your guidance and enlightenment"

"I was taking a look at your piece on boundaries actually.  I had been attempting to set this boundary with my new love ____, and was not able to maintain it, and usually I am pretty good at that.  When I read your piece, it became clear to me why I couldn't maintain it - I was trying to manipulate her - it wasn't a boundary.  I called her immediately and owned that.  Thanks again man - such an incredible giveaway."

"I have been reading your web-site all morning and have allowed myself some tears that are indeed part of my own healing. . .  It is great that there are people like you in the world that have faced their shadow and looked it is in the eye and are willing to share your knowledge. Your web site is a credit to you and thank you for your truth and good luck on your journey."

"i read your site on a regular basis.....it is a life saver to me."

"Certainly my reading your book proved to be a pivot point in my story, as nothing before it, made me really recognize just how codependent I was, and the effect it had had on my life. Those realizations were like bold brilliant lashes of paint on the canvas of my life.  I am living differently now, more alive, vital and becoming more centered although not in a straight line."

"i'm enjoying navigating through the many pages of your work.  thank you for making it available!"

"Thankyou for your email thanking me for purchasing your book. Im really looking forward to reading it if not a little apprehensive aswell. Having read your website certain things that you talked about hit home with a sledgehammer and for the first time in my life ive decided to take positive action to try and sort my life out once and for all."

"I love you.  I love what God has placed in you to help others. Could you please schedule one of your training sessions in the Washington, DC area? I would love to attend and learn more from you what God has blessed you with."

"Your site and books are so very helpful to me.  I have often heard about healing the inner child."

"Your book has been fantastic to read.  I have only a couple of pages left.  I let a family member (who reads fast) read it because she just got out of rehab for substance abuse. I am on a spiritual journey and my journey led me to your web site and ultimately to your book.  I have been so inspired by your words"

"Just wanted to say thank you for putting up that site, it has helped me."

"I stumbled upon your web page while looking for some answers for myself.  Reading your articles is like reading about my life. I am that parent you speak of; the one enabling my son to continue. I want to help him, he's even asked for help. But it seems that all I've been doing is helping him financially which is only allowing him to continue. 99% of his pay check is gone within hours every week. He's in a lot of debt and that's where I thought I was helping him...but I'm hurting him. I don't know where to stop or start! But by reading your articles I feel that my life and his is text book...and it is possible to help him. Thank you"

"i found your website when i googled 'grief'. thank you for the beautiful writing on your web page. i am visiting it more often now, and sharing it
with my group."

"I have been on your web site and it is fantastic! There is so much useful information that I have only begun to review. I really appreciate all the work that has gone into putting together such a web site as it is so helpful to so many people! Your openness to have it available to everyone is really a wonderful selfless service."

"As I have prayed for several years, and patiently waited for the answers, I have come across your web site and have received many answers to many questions.  . . . I wish to thank you at this time for your commitment to follow what your spiritual journey had in store for you. With this knowledge and spiritual connection, as you say " intigration" is a wonderful gift which you have shared with many. I greatly Thank You! !"

"Happy to find your website and the information contained within."

"I've been reading your web pages off and on for about a week now.  Thank you for sharing your journey.  It takes a great deal of courage to do so."

"I just wanted to drop you a quick line to confirm that I received your book in the mail yesterday. Thank you. I look forward to getting into it as soon as I finish up some of the other material that I printed off from your website; it has become part of my daily ritual to read it on my ride to and from work."

"I would like to thank you for the amazing information that I have discovered about myself.  In the past 8 or 9 monthes I have been going through a situation with a guy and a lot of what was wrote on the website has helped me begin closure on the issue."

"I read your book I think it is excellent and sums up how I feel as a wounded soul and it has been very helpful and insightful. I am now hoping to start on healing the inner child."

"I jumped around on your website. Good Stuff. You write about a lot of feelings and issues men experience"

"Thanks for your honest and thoughtful web pages describing codependent, counterdependent and other associated behaviors. I'm well along in my recovery but it's always refreshing  and affirming to see my own experiences captured so well in another's work.  Anyway, good job, blessings to you, and keep up the good work."

"I very much enjoyed the article that I just read, it was produced in 2004 and I can only identify very strongly with the internal tapes and children that run my life."

"I am now reading "The Dance" and am glad to be able to read it in it's entirety.  I think your work is extremely important and I equate you to a loving beacon that's able to provide knowledge, light/love to sooo many dark and scarred hearts, globally.  I came to your web-site with the search word "Letting Go".  You have provided me with knowledge on how to love myself and that I AM loved unconditionally by our creator who resides within my heart.  I have had many self realizations since my husband died and one was that God is love.  To me that's the only word we really need to know and internalize. How beautiful it was when I made this discovery. For many years I was not sure where God was.....now many pieces of the truth are fitting together, it is very exciting. My life is now being filled with meaning/purpose and love.  It's great to enjoy this gift of life with a WHOLE new perspective than the sad and SEPARATE existence I was enduring.  Thank you again for your light and love.......you are an amazing spiritual being."

"The words I have read so far from your web site have been absolutley remarkable. I look forward to reading your book and hearing your tapes."

"Hello, congratulations for your book, I love your concepts and I'm trying to implement them to my life. They have been such a treasure for myself. Thank you!"

"I have discovered your website couple of years ago and have been learning so much from it. On your website, I have found many answers either for my self or for my clients. Everything on your web site is written with such a compassion and care for people and humankind. Every time I open the website I feel excited, energized and full of love and hope. GOD BLESS YOU.  Everything you talk about there is resonating within my perception of the world and people. I am thankful to you and all the work you have done to spread truth, love and hope. I have fully discovered my spirituality in February this year and ever since my life has changed. Reading your website has contributed to that a lot. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU GOD BLESS YOU"

"This is only the beginning for you to go global and help more people in the world that need you!  Thank you so much for all your help. The timing was so critical for me."

"Thank you for sharing yourself with everyone and writing a book and having a website that can help others so much. God bless you for your understanding and your gifts in helping others."

"I am nearly finished reading your book.  I have stopped to group my thoughts and decided to share the results of reading yours and other books these past several weeks.  I must say, you put an excellent picture together that make it easy to understand once the heart is open for that.  I appreciate the time you took to write all of this, and want you to know you have helped me immensely understand a difficult processing of information.  It has also given me courage now to stand up for myself and prepare to move on.  Whatever is in store is mystery now, but will appear daily bit by bit.  Thanks again"

"I am so pleased for you - delighted that things are flourishing. Your writing has helped me more than I can say, and if I lived in the USA I would definitely attend one of your programs!"

"The deepest spirit in me thanks the deepest spirit in you. I had begun the work before I received your book and tapes, however, they have been immensely helpful in helping me get through the darkest time in my life (to this moment), to recognize the opportunity to finally break out of my half-alive, scared to fly utterly walled-in wounded child. . . Your insights and sharing have played an important part in my healing and hopefully the healing of my marriage."

"The door for healing was opened for me through your personal sharing. In November, 2004  was the beginning of grieivng over the child wounds, at age 68 with 29 years of recovery. I could not even begin to accept this process until I realize my concept of God had many distortions and continues to evolve. Then I was able to face my many hurt feelings with acceptance. I kept away from mother for about six months. 2005, Christmas time, mother got sick and I was able to show up with 'real compassion" and to my surprise I had been responsing to her as an adult rather than from a lost little girl. Yes, I had my own feelings, but I knew they were mine without shame. And it has been uphill since.  I was asked to be the speaker on Mother's day at AA's anniversay.  I invited mother and she has agreed. I never invited her before.  I am ready to share my experiences, strength and hope without blaming myself or her, but being responsible for my own sickness. Now I am almost 70 and she is 94. I have been able to say to her, "Thank you for Everything" Yes, this process affected all of my relationships with people. Anxious, Yes, at times because I don't yet trust it, but I am getting stronger with my focus on where my help really comes from.  The one door opened many other doors from many resources that helped me to continue to moving forward. I call these surpises...Divine surprises and they keep showing up. Robert, God bless you and Thank You."

"I've seen your website read the section "Inner Child Healing". I can only say that it is a great work you have made there. I've learned many things and began to see myself and others in a different way."

"Thank you so much for this web site and your journey into full recovery, 1 day at a time. Thank You Robert for you insights and sharing your journey."

"I came across your site and found it to be amazingly uplifting.  Excellent material.  Site is fabulous"

"I would like to thank you for the level of deep honesty and self acceptance you are showing in this site...I am falling apart as I read it. Thank you for your dedication and wisdom."

"Several weeks ago I was seeking information on the internet.  I am grateful I found your website.

A.  What I have learned over the past 22 years of concious recovery and healing through so many agencies, therapist, books, etc were beautifully summed up on your website.  I needed to have these truths reitterated, my sure state had been shaken up.

B.  A man I have been involved with has displayed wounded soul syndrome and my best efforts were futile in a concious change in his belief system and behavior.  Your website eloquently spoke in a genltle loving way what I knew he would benefit should he endeavor to explore the truths you present.  He has since purchased the book and tapes, which I have listened to and THANK YOU!  He has been in contact with you.  He and I have and will discuss what we learn from your book."

"Today was my first visit to the website, and I must say that I appreciate your opinions and your gentleness of approach that you use.  Your writing shows a deep respect for people and their belief systems which is not usually found in the areas of faith and teaching. . . May God Bless you in your work."

"Love your site! Thanks for sharing so much info!"

"I have been searching your web site for the example you give of the little boy who remained unfazed in a group meeting in which his mother was crying. (Emotional Incest - emotionally devastating child abuse) He had learned it was okay to cry; he wasn't responsible for his mother's feelings. The example popped into my head as I was thinking over the events of the past few days and suddenly realizing what a profound transformation in my response to life has occurred in a very few short years. . . Day after day, Robert, things have worked out in surprising ways. But, it is the deep-down change within for which I am most grateful, the feeling that I am standing up on the inside, while my inner children play. I am so grateful for the adventure my life has become. I feel like I have crossed a threshold. It's now midnight~and I hear a blackbird singing in the dead of night. Gratefully ~and Flying"

"Your site is fantastic. I have turn on everyone I know to it. It says what is happening. I may not like what I read, but then that’s why I’m looking at your site. To get some insight as to why my life seams so in the toilet."

"Thanks for writing the book.  It helped to open my mind up to the process."

"Hi! My name is ______. I'm not religious at all and coming across your website was purely by chance of me "googling" for more insight to the case of Jesus being married. Now, that I didn't know till I read Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code". Curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know more facts.... The piece you wrote in regards to Jesus & Mary - if it was true, I would believe it readily because that would be ultra normal for a mortal to have feelings. I would rather believe Jesus as being a very kind and understanding soul . . . I am glad to have found your site because to me it feels I'm on neutral ground. I find now when Jesus is being referred to is more human like to me than a God - does that make sense? . . . it brought tears to my eyes (or, I was just to sensitive a bit emotional - typical woman traits). All I wanted to say, it has been enlightening and I am very lucky I came across your site."

"i just wanted to thank you for the wonderful site that you have created. as a recovering catholic and sufferer of PTSD from child abuse issues and a lot of un fortunate events throughout my life, you are of great help to me and my effort to begin a healing journey at the age of 56."

"I have written to you before and you answered me, for which I am extremely grateful. Your website and your book, along with Charles Whitfield's "Healing the Inner Child" and "Memories and Abuse" books have been amazing recovery tools for me. . . . It is as if you talk to the soul."

"Thank you for your information, it helped in healing me with-in. . . Thanks again, I read to keep me focused on building my self esteem."

"I have found your web-page and am enjoying it immensely.  I feel I could have written it myself.  I am a recovering alcoholic and addict.  I have been through numerous treatment and counseling.  I am recovering from everything that pulls me away from God basically.  I agree with all that I have read on your page.  Especially the belief that you can't bring someone to a place you yourself have never been. . . I have found only one person in North Dakota so far that I trust and is on the same path.  I know hundreds in 12 step programs and so few have found the wisdom you seem to have acquired."

"I discovered your site tonight. I love it: I have eagerly read much of the material. Thank you so much."

"About a month ago I ordered your book after realizing with the help of my therapist that the reason I had tolerated an abusive relationship for 4 years has do to with my dependent personality.  Prior to that relationship I was following a spiritual path of mediation and self realization that was incredibly fulfilling for me and so one would think I wouldn’t have allowed it much less taken my young son on the journey with me, but I did.

Your book has helped me with the clarity that we are spiritual beings having human experiences.  That one message alone has helped tremendously in my healing.  It has leveled the playing field from Hitler to Mother Teresa inside my soul, helped me let go of a good amount of anger and realize that what happened, happened for a reason.

Your book has a beauty of simplicity and honesty along with a few human and well chosen expletives that resonate deeply with me and shall be a resource for my ongoing healing over this life time.  Thank you so much again!  I have already begun to recommend your book to others with different struggles still possessing (of course) their own wounded inner child."

"I am enjoying your website.  I learn so much there.  Thank you for creating it."

"Having just read a few excerpts from your book on-line, I've found them to be a source of consolation and significant revelation to me about my emotional issue."

"I've already read it/listened to all the tapes. I'm so glad you chose to share your insight. I have really been helped by it…so far, so good. I actually heard my inner voice speak to me yesterday afternoon for the first time in many, many years. I was laying in bed taking a nap with my son.  I've just recently been going through a very bad divorce. My voice told me that I almost wasted my life in despair and self-abuse. It said that this is my second chance. What a gift. I go through pain and crying every day these days. But with the type of insight your words (and others) are giving me, I can at least understand what is going on with me. I feel like I truly am healing. I feel like I visualize myself as the type of wounded soldier walking back from the battlefield with bloody head bandages, crutches, bruises, casts, etc. It helps me remember that this is how I feel, and I need to treat myself just like I am wounded. It helps me remember to take my healing seriously."

"Thank you for your incredible guidance in to Co-Dependancy through your book and your letters that comes always as a big unexpected surprise!"

"You expression of your truth has helped me in a life where help was rare and valued."

"Your site is absolutely wonderful!! I came across it when I was looking for some reading material to recommend to my cousin, who is unfortunately still in denial (I am trying to help him break his defense mechanisms in order for him to save himself from our dysfunctional family as well). Since you have experienced the happiness of finally seeing the truth yourself, I am sure you know how painful it can be when people that you care for are unable to see the truth and to care for themselves and for their inner children (because they are scared of acknowledging their suffering and the ego is maintaining the illusion of control)."

"I got your book yesterday and could not put it down. I'm in chapter 3 now and it is so right on! This is the first book I have found that has most all of my beliefs, higher truths consolidated into one book. . . . Have you tried to send it to oprah? Thank you!!!!! so much...."

"I love your writing. I can't tell you how many times your pages have been the calm, safe place I seek out when the storm is raging. . . Thanks for all your help"

"That night I looked up codependend on my pc and came to a list of 20 signs of codependency I have at least 19 of them then I came to your web site and started reading I sat here with tears streaming down my face as I read thru the pages.  I ordered your book and am wanting with all my heart to find me to step towards my recovery to find me who got lost so many years along the way."

"Wow. I have been reading on your web site for quite some time and ordered your first book......... Many aspects of my life as a 42 year old female have come full circle over the last year or so. I am currently going thru a divorce from a marriage of 23 years from a codependent. Your book and website has given me such insite to my own dysfunctional upbringing as well as his. I am much better and just now feeling alittle comfortable in my own skin. Thank you so much for your enlightenment."

"Dear Robert, Your work has divinely touched and spiritually inspired me......I came to your site in my desperate hour and found so many truths, I couldn't hide anymore. I made the choice, to face the fear, look inside through the darkness and pain, to feel who I was and why. . . . You have given me much healing through your  generous gifts that I would like to share with you my love, appreciation and gratitude.  I am sending a donation ___.  Thank you so very much. Blessings and Abundance Always" (Donations to the cause / spiritual Tithes are always appreciated: Love Offerings.)"

(March 22, 2006)
 "Just to thank you for mailing your book, which arrived here last Thursday, and for enabling me to find an important piece of the jigsaw. Your writing has arrived in my life at just the right time, and I need you to know that your courage and compassion are helping me with a long-overdue healing process."

"On a personal note, I want to share with you that I am a clinical psychologist. Your writings have deeply resonated with me and have greatly facilitated my personal work... recently *enlivened* by a painful relationship break-up. In turn, I hope my ongoing healing will conribute to my professional endeavours as a therapist. Thank you sincerely for sharing your insights and your personal experience."

"My name is ______ and I am 65 years.  Your books and articles have been an answer to my prayers."

"Simply, I want to thank you with every fiber of my being for having the courage to have put together this website. You are making a difference in my life. I am on a journey to recover from my past. I was sexually abused by my brother when I was 11 years old (I am now 45). My wounds are not so much from the abuse but from the lack of support of my parents. All my life it has seemed that they have supportive my schizophrenic older brother (abuser) and left me by the way side.  Anyway, your site is giving me hope that my life can be joyous. Thank you again for this tremendous gift. With Respect and Gratitude"

"Thank you very much for writing your book and making your wonderful website. I'm not even sure how to express how much it means to me. But thank you so much. . . Again, thank you so much for your website. It contains so much truth I've read the same pages many times and I'm still learning from it."

"i apreciate your website very much."

"I really feel compelled to write to you and have been meaning to for what seems like a long, long time. But everything has unfolded so quickly for me that it is only now that I can truly sit back, want to share my experience, feel proud of where I've got and really really want to tell you how much you have helped me in reaching this point.

One evening I decided to look up more about therapy and how it could really help and it was as if I was being pulled to your site and my mission was to read everything that was on it. It was the first time ever that I had literally dedicated time to helping me. Before this point everyone else in my life had always been my absolute priority. I spent hours and hours reading, and re-reading. I returned the following day and spent the entire evening reading. As I read I started to cry, and it became so intense that I could not stop crying, yet I wasn't afraid, and it didn't feel like depression tears, more like tears that were unraveling a truth that would help me so much. From that moment on I thought such loving thoughts towards you. I wondered if I'd ever meet you and how proud I was of you. It felt like someone had helped me so much, yet I didn't know who they were. Funny eh that you go through life thinking that the people close to you are the ones that help you, and then you discover true love from a complete stranger. So from the deepest part of my heart I want to thank you."

"Thanks for offering that website to the world, as of itself, I feel it began to facilitate healing for me.I've pretty much read all of it and resonated with it deeply."

"thanks for your courage and your website. Your insight is profoundly helping me. Do you still do counseling? If yes, I would appreciate any information you could give me about your sessions.  I am looking forward to receiving my book and audio tapes. Thank you again. You are an inspiration."

"I stumbled on your site after being in a short term relationship that went from hottttttttt to luck warm and cold so fast. I needed some answers and found it here. Thank you. I have been sharing your site with everyone."

"I would like to express my sincere thanks and appreciation for your book: Codependency, the dance of wounded souls. I have been very angry all my life, but did not know what I was angry about. I found myself in an abusive relationship and I began to research emotional abuse and came across your website, I order your book and tape. After reading the book and listening to the tape, I began loving myself and was able to gain strength and got out of the abusive relationship and I am now truly living a joyous life. For the first time in 20 years, I went to Florida for a vacation. I am truly delivered and I would like to enroll in a certificate program to provide this type of counseling to others. I Thank God for you."

"I am very happy to have found your website. You have put together some very interesting and informative information."

"Bravo to you sir, by accident I came across your website in regards to Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Yours is like a voice that cries out in the wilderness on the subject matter ringing true yet threatening a belief system that is so rooted in the world.  People are defined by their belief systems and to be challenged on them causes them to react ferociously.  Your voice not only challenges the individual but a power structure firmly entrenched into the mind the masses and the global definition of religion. Dialogically clever were those who set into motion the Christianity we know and were raised on. Dogma to restrict us, guilt to bind us. Instead of allowing the true nature of Jesus Christ to flow from him which is love and one who truly loves acts with restraint in all areas as not to harm the object of their love. No need for dogma and guilt the love will guide. I would be most disappointed in the Jesus I have come to know if he did not have a relationship with Mary Magdalene. In order to be our advocate to the Father he needed to know and feel and experience all areas of humanity and the highest of all of these is the ability to give love, touch love and be given it back starting on a one to one bases which transcends the rest of humanity and graces them with the overflow."

"Thanks a lot.  And the articles on your web site are excellent, exactly what I have been looking for."

"I've been reading articles on your website. From what I've read so far the part that resonates most with me is where you say that you used to think/feel that at the very core of you was the desire to die, to not exist.. Most of the time this is how I feel. I feel as though your website has thrown me a lifeline (and this is after years of therapy)."

"I am lookng forward to taking responsibility for the rest of my life with my new found hope and awarness.  I was impressed by your words / views on the matter at your website and am looking forward to reading your book / listening to the tapes."

"I am very much enjoying your book, and I wanted to thank you.  I am constantly visiting your website and re reading everything on there as well.  Thank you so much."

"I wanted to tell you that I received your book yesteday and have begun reading it. Thank you for your message and autograph.  As a newly graduated Marriage and Family Therapist, I find your message very accurate for all people, not just those who come from disfunctional families.  In fact, I have yet to meet anyone who does not come from a disfunctional family. I am sure I will use and share the words you have written with my clients.  For myself, it is very soothing and enlightening to discover that the difficulties I have had negotiating life are common and curable and it is especially delightful to continue realizing that the power to bring happiness to my life comes from within and not from trying to please and take care of other people.  Thank you for spreading the message of your truth in order to add positivity to the world.  As a Third Culture Kid, I know that we are all part of the same body and that only by working together can we heal this difficult and contentious world."

"I'm a 39 year old man and came across you article today and I want you to know that I have lived your life as you have mine. I am not going to try and show this woman how great we could be together. I could wax on but I shall spare you the drama. Let me just say that I must move on a be greatful that this has all come to surface after 7 weeks and not 7 years.  I will read more of your work. You have help a grown man today that was looking for help."

"I just recently separated from my wife after just 14 months of marriage.  This has been a difficult period, not the worst but in the top three.  I have found your web site incredibly useful in dealing with this situation. It has really taught me what is a healthy/healthier approach to this and all life events."

"I've been in aa recovery here for many years, but I have not yet found someone that I connect with the way that I do with your writing since my sponsor died a few years ago.  He was an amazing spirit and finding your site has given me hope that he wasn't unique.  I resonate with everything that you speak about and have reached very similar conclusions through my own experience.  Sadly, however, I don't find many in the aa fellowship who share it.  It's good to know there is another out there who shares my insights, as well as those of my old sponsor.  I know he would have liked you a lot!  I'm dipping into your site on a daily basis and it feels like having a good meeting.  I hope that I will be able to give some of it back to my homegroup, over time, if they are willing to be open-minded!  Unfortunately, no CODA here, but I don't think that matters as much as the real insight that co-dependency is totally relevent to alcoholics.  I'm quite sure that we are busy, as a species, with that next step that Bill W called "The Next Frontier"."

"I have just discovered your web site couple of weeks ago. I want to thank you first of all for sharing your wisdom  and knowledge. . . . But only through finding your site have I gotten any practical blueprint on what to do."

" I LOVED YOUR BOOK!! Thank you for confirming what Ive believed for so long ... just need it to to be reenforeced.. And Im at work so I have to make it quick, but thank you for trying to make people understand what Jesus was REALLY all about LOVE (yourself and all others) AND PEACE AND JOY AND FAITH AND FORGIVENESS -esp yourself and your 'inner child'...!!  Anyway -thank you may god (dess) bless you :)"

"Its ______, guess you all ready know that, from Australia, I am still listening to your tapes . . . . . I am healing and finding more about me and my journey as I trudge the road to happy destiny, there is a lot of pain involved, I am glad they didn't tell me I would have to go through all this when I first got sober, and my GOD has used seemingly brutal methods to get me to look at me, I am learning to follow the carrots...I don't want the stick anymore, I am now studying Social welfare, and it is an amazing journey. I hope your good Mate, keep learning so I can to!"

"I would like to thank you too for your web site. You cannot believe how much I have gained from it. I've been searching for so many answers,and came across your site at an amazing point in my life. May u continue to do the wonderful work that you are doing!"

"I had emailed you a few years ago after reading your book and listening to your tapes. It was the only thing that got me through a really rough time in my life."

"I found your website incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing your insight, compassion and strength. Your writing came to my attention at just the right moment!"

"I am in a 12 step recovery program myself and am currently facing my own relationship issues. It is amazing to have reached yet another new level of consciousness and to be acting in love and health although this is often the hardest choice to make. I am also training as a counsellor and have read your pages about counsellors and agree very much with the comments about therapists and counsellors only being able to help in so far as they have addressed their own 'stuff'. Thanks and best wishes."

"Both my partner and myself are reading your website at the moment. In fact my partner was skeptical aoubt inner child work before reading your pages, now he is finding your stuff really helpful."

"Big "HI!" to u from India!!! Im a 16 yr old girl from Mumbai and I just don't know how to begin thanking you...thanking you for everything!! I have gone through so much that you have yourself gone through. And I am still doing all that you used to do as a kid....trying to hurt them in any possible way even by scoring low....BY WRITING ABOUT THIS AND MAKING ALL OF IT AVAILABLE ON NET I KNOW YOU HAVE HELPED INNUMERABLE PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF AND FOR THAT I THANK YOU OVER AND OVER.
                 I earnestly believe that it was one of my Angels that led me to discover your site a few months ago. I'm just recovering from a two year long term of depression where I would begin to cry anyplace, anytime and I didn't know why I did it except that it felt like a load off my heart. You see as you have explained on some of your pages, I grew up in a dysfunctional family and I still have so many feelings pent up inside of me.......I FEEL LIKE I AM ADDICTED TO PAIN AND CAN'T WEEN MYSELF OFF OF IT.
               I have quite a few friends but none that I can relate to or talk about this to. I feel like I am A BIG LIAR for not letting others know who I actually am, what I actually am like as a person. I'M AFRAID. And any guy who shows interest in me- I treat him like dirt b'coz he likes me. I Don't know why.
               Just telling all this to another living being feels great and i hope you spend a precious little of your time reading this. I just hope to know how I can forgive my parents and myself because it seems impossible  right now.
              I have so completely spoiled my grades that now even if I try i am not able to put them rite- i feel lost and stupid. I don't wanna screw up my life and was hoping for a few words of healing that you could give me/ guide me to?
Sincerely grateful for your time and help,
[ once agin] THANK YOU!!!"

"Glad to hv heard from you. I'm grateful for your advice and am eager to start applying that to my life. And please do add me to your list. Also, I don't think I'm ever gonna stop visiting your site. Your work is amazing."

"Hi Robert, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your reply to an email of mine late last year regarding counselling in Sydney Austraila. You were very helpful and I really appreicate it.  I have finally had the courage to start counselling here and know there is hope:)  Thanks and best wishes"

"Thank you Mr.. Burney!!!!!  I am seeing a counselor now and she is helping me tremendously. She has heard of your books too! I am beginning to not be so hard on myself and blaming myself for everything wrong in my life."

"I enjoy your website and have found a wealth of valuable information to assist me on my journey in recovery.   Thank  you for all you do for us."

"Thanks for responding personally to me...my husband and I have been search for answers to alot of his feelsings and your internet site...making reference to your book was delivered to us via God.  My husband finally felt like someone was writing from his heart about his feelings...which have been closed for many years.  your words are a comfort in a world full of mystery."

"I found your website out of pure luck and feel as if I have answers to questions I have been asking myself my whole life. . . But I found your website and stayed hooked to it for an hour and a half.  In these past 3 years I have seen a counselor because I knew there was something wrong with me.  They put me on medication (which would have been better given to my wacko parent) and I took it for a while, but that wasn’t the fix, I wasn’t depressed, anything but.  I get angry so they gave me an anger management book, well, that didn’t seem to fit either.  It would appear that I represented many classic cases of a stay at home mom that needed a life (one therapist told me this), another thought that everything would be fine once I set some boundaries (good helped a little) and then I decided I needed time.  Read a bunch of books and reached a plateau.  Then I found your web site which fills in all the missing wholes.  I had even gone to some alanon meetings but I was still angry that these people had so much power in my life I couldn’t see the connection and didn’t feel it was for me.  I can’t wait to read your book."

"I have been sharing your book and some information with many Nar-Anon members and all have been inspired by your wisdom.  The problem I have is that every time I lend it out to one of our "group members," it doesn't come back.  So, from now on, they may look at it, but it will not be offered for loan. I guess it's just too good to return."

"I am currently reading some of your Inner Child Healing work, as it has become apparent that I am most definitely a internalized toxic shame driven individual.  I think that your stuff is brilliant and immensely valuable, and I believe that I told you before how impressed I was with your giveaway. . . . you already have my immense gratitude for your giveaway.  Your work has helped me, and continues to help me tremendously, and I have recommended your site to many of the other men and women that I work with."

"I look forward to reading & listening to your book & tapes. I have a sponsor & will use your ideas and insights to help me with my prayer & meditation to keep me in the now. (My sobriety date is 10-09-05) Can I have your permission to share with other AA members for group discussions similar to the Joe & Charlie tapes we listen to at Big Book meetings I attend? For now I need to concentrate on my own healing but what works for me can work with another human being.

Thanks again for your dedication, I'm grateful for being broke down enough to have a Spiritual awakening & to have discovered the 12 steps which I am slowly trying to understand, work & follow, without it I'd die an alcoholic death."

"Hi Robert,
I have to tell you that your writings and your website are a magnificent godsend. I have been on a sacred healing journey for just over a year. And I have autonomously discovered everything that you have written, even so far as the quantum physics.  (I have a little snowflake frame that contains the saying..."Do without Doing". So, you can imagine my intrique at seeing all the things that I have learned, on my own...hunting, pecking and divining...wrangled into your website in one big package. You must really help many people with your work.  I have basically used Adlerian group coursework, Native American Medicine Wheel and other sacred journeys, ceremony and rituals, Goddess and Archetypes, crystals and stones, candle, chakra work, esoteric healing, journaling, poetry, books, oracles, divination, my own intution and psychic abilities to discern the Truth. I also use the internet as an oracle and it has been the most massive resource that I have used.

Now, the last thing that I am working on is my deep grief work. I think I am finally ready to deal with the deep rage and grief from the pain of my childhood and my adulthood. I have chosen to use a therapist to help me do this work. Odd how the brutal death of a friend led me to seek counseling to help me properly grieve her death...and I find myself working on myself. She was apparently one of my angels.  Anyway, I simply had to write you. I am a web designer by trade and I am also writing a book and creating a web portal for codepency and addiction issues. I would love to link to you when my site is completed.  I count you among my blessings! Thank you for all your good work, Robert."

"I have purchased and read and absolutely loved your first book “Dance of Wounded Souls” about a year ago . . . . I still refer to "Dance of Wounded Souls" when I get depressed and I truly love reading your work."



Responses to January Update and from those who replied to my special appeal for Help mailing:

"I'm so happy to hear of your new found wealth of joy  :-)  I wish you the best. Thank you for sharing your story.  Thank you also for helping me at a time when my heart was aching and I was so confused. . . Thanks for your help. Congratulations on your happiness. You deserve it."

"Your welcome for the donation.  I have a little extra money this time of year.  And I was reading your update and got to the part about your book.  Towards the end when you were pleading and you were asking for anyone who had been impacted by your work to donate.  Your book, your web-site, and these sessions have all made a big impact on my life and my recovery.  Everytime I tell my story in a Coda newcommers meeting I remember the night I found your web-site and read and read for days.  It was the first time I realized why I was so sick and the first time I could ever remember having some sort of voice come from under the pain, a voice that sounded like the real me.  For that and some many more reasons I know that I'm on a path to more joy and love. And that God intended me to meet you, so I could learn about the real me. Thank you so much."

"Just read your your Update Newsletter 2006 and what has been happening in your recovery adventure.  I am so happy for your wonderful news. May God of the Universe and all the Magnificent Angels continue to bless and keep lighting your path.  I will also keep you in my prayers that the "Dance" keeps going out to more spiritual beings who need to know about the dis-ease at a much deeper level!  I know I have benefitted from so much.  You are such a dear En-Lightened-Being and I truly hope the best for you and yours.  I did send you a small Love-offering through PayPal and may the God/Goddess encourage more Magnificient Spritual Beings who have been so wonderfully and miraculously helped do their part in "giving back" to the Universe to assist in keeping the "Dance" going on.  More souls need to encounter the Divine message you have communicated. In Light, Love and Prayers."

(This person is responding to the subscription to Dancing in Light; that I sent to people who donated - and that is still available on the Help Page.)
"Dear Robert:
     Thank you for the subscription to Dancing in Light; I had missed having access to that material.  I would be hard pressed to cite a single paragraph that I wouldn't deem worth fifty dollars to me. . . . . . But your January Newsletter with your characteristic honesty and willingness to share both the glory and the grief of working this path reminded me of the very precious Truth that my path is unfolding perfectly according to a Divinely arranged plan, even when, and especially when, it feels more like some Cosmic game of "Wack-a-mole" (as in, just when you poke your head up, it feels like you get clobbered). Within a day or so of having read the Newsletter, I got myself out of a very dark place by simply recognizing my right and my need to grieve (and doing so), and, to me, just as powerfully by being grateful. Among the reasons to be grateful are just the love and joy you describe in your life now, Robert: I rejoice along with so many other people in the pictures of your beautiful family. Yet, once again, you have taught me that I can feel more than one emotion at a time: I grieve at the prospect of any of your work not being available. Please consider my earlier suggestion that I would be willing to subscribe on a regular basis. I read on average a book a day. No where else can this material be found. Your body of work is incomparable."

"I just donated not because I'm altruistic - but because I keep loaning out my copies of the book (and once the tapes) and they never seem to find their way back to me - so I need to order another copy for myself (again!) and of course from now on I'll just be referring people directly to you for their own copies.  Peace and prosperity to you and yours...."

"I am not on your e-mail list yet, as this the first time I have messaged you; however, I have been reading the articles you have on the website, particularly those on co-depencence and healing the inner child. I am in recovery in a 12-step program and I have been
working on my issues for over 10 years. When it became clear in therapy and through my reading that my issues lay below the surface addiction, I went on the internet and did a search on co-dependence. Your site was one of the top 3, so I took a shot. I have since
become an avid reader. I read your request for donations to have the book, which I have not read yet, printed. I will be sending a gift through PayPal. I can't afford much because my life is in transition, but what I can afford I will send.  Thanks for you work and your inspiration."

"....thank you for sharing your need with everyone.  I know that everything will be in place, exactly when you need it to be. :-)  I was only able to share $25.00 but if everyone did $25.00 .... it is amazing how people realize the expense to *carry the message* Blessings to you"

"Thanks, for all the information that you share. I can relate to so much and I am so grateful for recovery. I appreciate you."

"I have benefited tremendously from your writings"

"Well the site has made such a difference in my life and understanding myself (it's a great supplement to my therapy sessions) I had to thank you in some way!"

"I wish you all the best, Robert.  Your book and audio tape were of great comfort to me, and I enjoy your web-site."

"I purchased your book several years ago, and visited and studied your site for quite a while. It really helped me get through a tough stage I was going through.  Truthfully, I have not thought about it for quite some time, as life as gone on as it does. However, this morning, I was reflecting on some goals I have when your site popped into my head. I wanted to be sure to include a link to your site and acknowledge you online for a variety of reasons, once I got my idea up and running. But I couldn't remember the site name. I put it down in my thought list to be sure to look it up. Then I got home, and there was this email from you. If I have received emails from you recently, I was not aware of it as I rarely use this address anymore as it is so clogged up with spam anymore. But there you were, hitting me in the face.  I am not a believer in coincidence. I contributed what I could at the moment, but also felt compelled to write to you. At the moment I don't have much else to offer you except support and encouragement to not quit. What you have written and are committed to in your personal life, and ambition to help others is a terrific life's work.  It reached me, a stranger, and I am sure that there are many others out there.  I also admire your courage to reach out and ask for help."

"Your book was one of the first books i read in recovery and I am now 21 mnths clean and sober!!! Thank you for your wisdom! I will pass your link to friends I think will benefit from reading it. It really helped me!"

"I was able to donate $10 to your cause. I'm sorry it couldn't be more. You touched my life in a very critical time and I am forever grateful."

"you are a very big part of my healing and I am grateful.  I am happy to do what I can and wish it was more...Thank you for all that you have contributed to me... all my blessings in your journey"

"I *so* wish I was rich and could help you right now because your web site has helped me incredibally and I want to thank you."

"i have benifited so much from your giving and sharing and human-ness. i have prayers to contribute, i also, have no money, and i have great prayers and great belief and God provides me with opportunities, yay, prayers are with you, my friend."

"Thanks for your email, good luck with the print run. I have enjoyed, and leaned a lot reading your websites and book.  I am co-dependent alcoholic in recovery, and making progress, thanks !"

"It is my pleasure to support the important work you are doing. I bought audio tapes of Dance of Wounded Souls and have listened to them many, many times.  Your insights are wonderful.  I am also grateful for your courage to share your personal life on your webpage. I do receive your newsletter and enjoy it very much. Thank you for access to The Dancing in Light page. Wishing you much success "when one follows one's dream the whole universe conspires to achieve it.""

"I hope the Book publishing is going well for you.  I believe your work has touched many and the Universe will find a way for your words to reach many more.  I also believe that the Universe will manifest the financial well being that you need and so deserve, coming out your generosity, to continue your work."

"I had emailed you about two or three years ago and you responed back to me.  (you may not remember)  I was quite surprised to see an email from you.  It was funny, becauce about a month ago, I was searching for your website...and do you think that I could find it.. NO.  I couldn't.  Then I log on this evening and see an email with your address plain and clear.  I guess things happen for a reason, eh.  I praise you for having the courage and strength to ask for donations.  If I had a lot of money, I would donate all that you needed.  I would.  However, with that not being the case, I can only donate a small amount of $10.  I will mail it to you, ok.  I am very proud of you.  You are a wonderful man.  Don't forget it."

"You are welcome Robert.  One day I asked for help and you were there to help me.  I am happy to be helpful to you now.  Thank you for the Dancing in Light subscription....your writing has always inspired me to heal and find my way...again, thank you. Happy, joyous and free"

"Just sent a donation. It's been years since what you wrote gave me a lift. It wasn't about the personal soul mate journey stuff, it was the truth of the past impacting me today that hit me. I wasn't crazy after all.  I had amnesia because of the trauma, and reading what you had written was helpful in confirming I was on the right path. It resonated."

"I opened my eyes this morning, looked around at the light filling the room, and smiled, happy to be awake, happy to be alive, happy to be who and where I am. I leaped out of bed. A little later, while getting ready for work and doing my gratitude work, I had just come to the  part where I express gratitude for the gift of feelings, when I gasped, "You woke up happy, ______!"
     Happy right now. Happy in this moment.
     Joy to you and your family, Robert!
Robert, I just accessed Dancing in Light, clicked on a link I was drawn to, and read this passage:

"It also helps to realize that most of the people who have power and riches are not old souls.  Old souls have lived a lot of lifetimes and were born at a heart chakra level of consciousness in this lifetime.  Their life paths are about following their heart path - not the power and acquisition path of those who are coming from a solar plexus chakra level of consciousness.  In fact, many old souls are out of balance in relationship to their solar plexus consciousness (and therefore money and material possessions) because they did not know how to allow themselves to open up to manifestation without betraying their heart path.  Many of us had the experience in past lives of abusing our power and are terrified of doing it again.  We are also terrified because in past lives when we owned our power we got punished for it."

I am soooo grateful for this passage and the A-HA moment of recognition of intuitive Truth! This is so Amaaaaaaazing-zing-zing! Every bit of crap, ah, fertilizer in 2005 blows away like so much dust compared with this. I gave myself a hug at how delicious this is. Please hug yourself and anyone else you've a mind to! Thank you soooo much!"

These testimonials fill my heart so I thought I would use the hearts here.
The next page of testimonials (October 2004 thru January 2006) are on Testimonials 2

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