Joy to You & Me
and Joy2MeU Update
|To any Magnificent
Spiritual Beings reading this,
Well, 2003 is almost over. It has been a really incredible
year for me. Lots of opportunities to practice acceptance and faith when things weren't going as
I would like them to, and a whole series of wonderful miracles that manifested
various types of abundance and Love into my life.
The greatest of these miracles undoubtedly was getting a new
printing of my book done. In my September Update I talked about how
I would be running out of books in a short period of time and how I had posted
a page on my site to send a request out to the Universe for help in keeping
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
"I will need to go to press on the next printing of
The Dance before the end of September
in order to not run out of books. I do not as yet know where the money
to do that will come from however.
That printing process was begun on September 27th thanks to donations from
a dozen different people totally almost $4000. The greatest of these
was a man who paid for the printing of the first 2000 books. There
were several delays in the printing process, but the third printing of the
book finally arrived on November 7th. I had completely run out of books
only a few days before, so it was with immense gratitude that I received the
over 4000 books of this third printing. Thank you Goddess! And thanks
to the angels out there who made donations to the cause.
One of the pages I added to the site since the last Update
is a Donations
/ Love Offerings page in which I am broadcasting a request to
the Universe for help in keeping my book in print . I discuss the history
of the book and this web site - and my understanding of the metaphysical
laws of energy exchange that are involved in asking for, and being willing,
to give and receive help." September 2003 Update
I redesigned that Donations page slightly earlier this month
so that on the top of the page the Announcements about the progress of the
printing - including statements and dedications from people who made donations
- is side by side with the article I wrote for that page in which I share
some of the history of the book and also my understanding of metaphysical
law in relationship to giving and receiving. That way someone who
wants to read the article doesn't have to scroll through the announcements
and dedications to get to it - or vice versa.
I haven't posted any new articles to the web site this month
(although I did post new testimonials and links last week) because I got real
sick after coming back from my Thanksgiving trip. I actually first got
sick right at the end of October with a real nasty cold. (Some people seem
to refer to this as the flu that is epidemic, but to me the flu has always
included stomach problems and vomiting and all that messy stuff. What
I have had is sinus and throat and chest congestion - and when it was at
it's worst real achy and sore all over. Whatever one calls it, it is
When I first got it, it got nasty for a week or so and then
got better - but never really went away. I actually sounded quite pathetic
to many of my phone counseling clients in November. I thought that going
to Phoenix for Thanksgiving with my parents (who live in Arizona in the winter
now) and my son (who I fly in from Albuquerque) would give me a break from
talking on the phone so much and hasten my healing. However while
in Arizona, there seemed to be some allergy type of stuff going on, and
so when I got back I was still not 100%.
That is when I made - what in retrospect is - a very poor choice.
When I saw my son, he looked terrific. He had lost weight and really
looked good. In talking to his mother I found out that they had been
on the Atkins Diet and felt energized by it besides losing weight.
My mother told me all the wonderful things she had heard about the diet -
including that it is good for cholesterol also. I have some blood sugar
problems and a bit of a carbohydrate addiction, so I thought I would give
it a try when I came back. I was really sick by the first weekend in
December - and did not realize until talking to a friend a week after I got
back, that what I had done was really dysfunctional. Here I was with
sinus problems happening and I was eating lots of cheese. Duh!
What a numbskull type of move. I don't beat myself up or call myself
stupid for these kinds of things any more - but I do find it amusing that
I can be so unconscious in some areas sometimes. Many of the great insights
I have into my own process (as opposed to insights about other people's process
which is much easier than seeing myself clearly) are of the "duh" variety
- like of course, eating cheese is going to make sinus problems worse.
It just goes to reinforce something I wrote in 1989 in my Trilogy
- the Magical, Mystical Spiritual Fable in which my Higher Self appears to
me as a Unicorn.
Levels of Consciousness in Relationship
"It would not be possible to measure the level of consciousness of a person
on a vertical graph. In other words, we could not make a graph and
number it 1 to 100, and then figure out where a person scored as far as how
high they had raised their consciousness. The reason this is not possible
is because you have a level of consciousness in relationship to every relationship,
and type of relationship, in your life.
The reason for saying "every" and "every type" is that there
is an energy field of consciousness for both individual interactions (relationships)
and various types of interaction categories. For example: you may
have a level of consciousness in relationship to: your ex-wife, all women,
all blonde women, all women named Shirley, etc. It depends upon what
mental attitudes you are holding and what issues you have repressed emotional
energy in relationship to. Thus if you were scoring your level of consciousness
on a chart - you would need thousands of charts.
As has been stated, this dance is all about relationships,
and Spirituality is your relationship to self/Self, everyone and everything
in your environment, and the God Force. The point is that there are
a lot of relationships that need healing - consciousness raising in relationship
to - and they all have to do with your relationship with you. All of
the relationships outside are reflections of what is within, everything is
symbolic on some level. There is no single level of consciousness.
Levels of consciousness are relative in relationship to relationships.
Any individual may be high in some areas and low in others. You may
have a high level of consciousness in relationship to understanding Spiritual
Truth or emotional healing, and a low level in relationship to your relationships
with the opposite sex, or you own body, or whatever." - The
Dance of the Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1
History of the Universe Part VI Notes to Earthlings
When I wrote in this quote about someone
having a high level of consciousness in relationship to some areas and low
in others - I was specifically thinking about to my level of consciousness
in relationship to romantic relationships. My childhood wounding -
which included sexuality abuse and emotional incest (topics my latest suite
101 articles in right hand column) - coupled with trauma I experienced in
my first romantic, sexual relationship, caused me to adapt defenses that created
a virtual relationship phobia. I had a real terror of intimacy.
In my recovery (and my 20th sobriety
birthday is January 3rd - hurrah - miracles do happen) I had my first long
term relationship when I was 7 1/2 years sober and 5 years into Codependency
recovery. It lasted from 1991 to 1993 - and was the first time I had
lived with a woman in over 2 decades. That is the longest relationship
I have had except for the first one I just mentioned in my late teens and
early 20s. When I got into the relationship in 1991 I was at - as
I describe it someplace in my writing - a Neanderthal level of consciousness
in relationship to romantic relationships.
I have come a long ways since then.
But the bottom line about romantic relationships is that we can only really
learn how to do one by being in one - we get in touch with our deepest wounds
and strongest reactive buttons when we open our heart. And as I say
in various articles, I believe that romantic relationships are the greatest
arena for Spiritual Growth available to us. That is why one of the great
gifts in my life this year was getting the opportunity to get my heart broken
- as I mentioned in my September Update.
"The processing I refer to, that I did in my online
journal in the Joy2MeU Journal last November, opened me up to being available
for a romantic relationship this year. It was an opportunity that came
out of left field, and involved someone who lives a long distance away from
me. I have resisted getting involved in long distance relationships
for years, because geographically unavailable is unavailable. But
the Universe works in mysterious ways at times, and by staying in the moment
and being present for the unfolding adventure a relationship developed.
I am very grateful for the gift that this relationship was in my life this
year. It helped me get in touch with my capacity to Love in
a wonderful and unique way. It also gave me an opportunity to get in
touch with lots of grief that I got to release, and to - I believe - break
through my fear of intimacy defenses in a major transformational way.
It has been a wonderful experience that has helped me work
through many blocks in my defenses against intimacy and Love. It was
wonderful to be able to experience a romance after 4 years of not even coming
close to one. I was able to be in the moment, and be Loving in the moment,
while letting go of fear and projection to an amazing extent. The Loving
and being Loved was wonderful - and the laughter together was delicious.
That is the very good news. The bad news is that codependent reactions
intruded and a couple of weeks ago I got to experience the feeling of having
my heart broken one more time." - September 2003 Update
In my Update of May 2001 I shared how I had caught myself saying
something to a friend after a meeting that brought my fear of intimacy issues
to the forefront. I then started processing through those issues in
what ended up being 3 Newsletter pages added to that Update. And then
I took that processing to my Joy2MeU Journal for 4 more pages of processing
and grieving and insight.
In my Joy2MeU Journal (in addition to the 235 + pages of Joy2MeU.com,
I have a separate body of work in a password protected part of the site -
another 80 or 90 pages that is open only to subscribers - the Premier Issue
of it is free for preview) I share a personal journal (not part of my plan
when I wrote that first issue, just something that evolved) as part of a series
called The Path of one Recovering Codependent ~ the dance of one wounded soul
- a series of articles about my recovery and spiritual path. The journal
part of it I call My Unfolding Dance.
On October 1st, I began one of my writing frenzies in that
personal journal within the Joy2MeU Journal. I was writing and processing
about the romantic adventure I had this year - working through layers of
grief to sort out what had happened and what lessons there were for me to
learn from the adventure. I am going to share a few excerpts from it
in the Newsletter portion of this Update because there is some good stuff
about letting go - that I think many of you will find valuable.
I am publishing the 10th page that has resulted from that writing
/ processing frenzy at the same time I am publishing this Update - and the
frenzy is not finished yet. It is because my writing has been focused
on that processing that I haven't added any original articles to this web
site since the last Update. What I have done is added 7 articles that
I originally published on Suite 101 - including 6 that are a part of a series
on Discernment in relationship to the Serenity Prayer.
Shortly after finishing the writing above yesterday - as I was getting
ready to go to the post office to mail some book orders - an earthquake hit.
The epicenter was only about 7 miles away and it was measured at 6.5.
It was a major shaking - and I had adrenaline in my system for several hours
afterwards, and keep getting little shots of it with the aftershocks.
There was no damage to my place or to me. There was visceral fear that
shot through me at the time - but I will still take an earthquake every 20
years or so over living in snow. ;-)
I had hoped I would be able to announce a speaking gig at a
CoDA Conference in the Midwest in this Update - but it ended up not working
out. There is a chance of a workshop in Sacramento in a couple of months
however, so if anyone thinks they would be interested in attending that send
me an e-mail. I will of course announce it on the web site if it manifests.
I am going to end this part of this Update with a quote from my article Happy Holidays, Sad Holidays.
"So, have a happy, merry, sad, Joyous,
painful, peaceful, scary, cheerful in the moment Holiday season experiencing
what it feels like to be alive in human body. Whatever your celebration:
Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, New Years, etc. let it be
about the new beginning; the rededication to: the recommitment to: the rebirth
of; life. But most of all, let it be about Love by first of all
Loving yourself enough to tell the critical parent voice in your head to shut
up with all the comparisons and shame and judgment."
|Additions to the web site since the September Update include:
7 new pages with articles originally published on my Suite
Sanctuary Trauma ~ memories and emotional honesty
Including a series on the Serenity Prayer
and Discernment "The Wisdom to know the difference":
Serenity - Accepting the things we
Intellectual Discernment - focused within
Discernment - taking power away from the fear
Discernment - shutting up the critical voice
- Watch how you speak
Intellectual Discernment - "have to" and the Holiday Season
I called attention to two articles that
have to do - like the one above - with the Holiday Season, which offers so
many of us lots of opportunities for growth.
Ten new pages have been added to my personal
journal in the Joy2MeU Journal
I added links to a web site that
has Spanish Translations of some of the articles in my Codependence section,
Two new resources have been added to
the Referral to local Therapist / Counselors page
- one in Arizona and one in Ontario Canada.
Two new batches of wonderful testimonials for the book, tapes, and web site
were added in October and December.
Eight new phone counseling testimonials have been added
since the September Update and I did some redesign to that page to
add a bit of explanation about the process.
Some feedback about new Journal pages
on Journal Testimonial
The site has received a new Award.
A bookstore in Michigan stocked
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded
Souls - listed on the Bookstores page.
A new link added on the Finding CoDA meetings page - to a web site that lists meetings in New York City.
Most Recent articles published on my Suite101 page:
Published August 2003
- and the Bible
Published September 2003
Crippling Shame of Incest / Sexual Abuse
Published October 2003
Published November 2003
Incest = Sexuality Abuse
Suite 101 has now published an e-book of my series of
articles Dysfunctional Relationship Dynamics - Healthy Relationship Behavior
- which can be purchased for $9.95 through Suite
101 Anthology page.
Links to past Update Newsletters for the
Joy2MeU site (launched February 4, 1999) can be found on the Information index page. Links to the Newsletters
of my original Joy to You & Me web site (launched February 28, 1998) can
be found on the Joy to You & Me page which list
pages from that site not moved to Joy2MeU.
Here is a long excerpt from the Joy2MeU Journal in which I was talking
about different levels of letting go.
"Letting go is not a destination - it is part of a process,
of our journey. Letting go on one level is part of daily life, part
of going with the flow of life with some serenity - instead of creating
artificial, codependent stress and frustration for our self by trying to
control life and force our will on it.
A short excerpt:
"So, I accept whatever it is that I perceive as deprivation
today - and make the best of today. That doesn't mean that it doesn't
generate stress for me. But the stress is like the 3. earthquake as
compared to the 8. earthquake that my perspective of life used to generate
A great example of how the process of letting go works in moment to moment,
day to day life, came when I was trying to explain how important it was
to accept - and not judge our self for - our humanity in my January 2002
Update Newsletter. I was talking about recognizing there can be levels
to our motives that are codependent and levels that are "right on" at the
same time (some of my e-mails here being perfect examples) and in trying
to write about it, I got to demonstrate how the letting go process works.
The great majority of stress felt by any codependent is manufactured
out of dysfunctional beliefs and definitions - perspectives and expectations
that cause us to feel victimized. Most of the stress I used to feel
had to do with trying to figure out how to control life, worrying about
what is right or wrong, obsessing about trying to change someone else.
By learning to accept the things I cannot change, and integrating a Spiritual
belief system into my subconscious programming and emotional relationship
with life, I reduced my perception of stress by maybe 10,000%. Learning
to let go has removed the illusion of stress from my life that was being
caused by living life as if it were a test I could fail. There is still
some legitimate stress that is caused by life events and circumstances.
It is not bad or wrong to feel stressed. There are times when it was
real important for me to own that it was OK to feel stressed - what was important
was not to let the impending doom, fear based programming of the disease blow
things out of proportion and create artificial stress based upon false beliefs."
Dance 11 written June 20, 2002
"In writing about levels of motivation, and how important
it is to surrender to my Higher Power's plan instead of trying to make things
work the way I think they should - I was getting frustrated because things
weren't working the way I thought they should. I was aware that I
was getting frustrated and what that meant, but being human I tried to hold
onto "my way" a little longer. Which led to more frustration.
Engaging in a power struggle with God is a set up to feel frustrated.
Letting go in a major way - of a relationship for instance - is a higher
level of the process. We don't let go of something that we have a
strong emotional investment in and have the desire to have it back just disappear.
The desire, pain, wanting, feeling of need, anger, whatever, associated with
the lost dream comes back up - and we let it go again, and then again, and
then again. At first maybe hundreds of times a day. As time starts
to heal our wounds, gradually it doesn't come back up as strong or as often
- so we don't have to let go as many times a day. (And the healing process
is greatly accelerated when we are able to not shame and judge our self for
the loss we have experienced, but rather look for the silver lining and be
gentle with our self as we grieve.)
See what I mean about it being silly to put much energy into
my ego's attempts to control. I was getting frustrated and knew I needed
to surrender - but I was being willful and not accepting that I needed to
surrender to being willing to surrender. Pretty amusing really. ;-)
My writing about levels of motive had led into attempting to
communicate a message about how important it is to accept our humanness.
And I get to demonstrate my humanness in my attempts to write about accepting
it. Perfectly ironic - ironically perfect.
It is so valuable to stop shaming ourselves and instead to start
being amused at our human self. To stop calling ourselves stupid and
to start seeing the humor in how silly it is to try to control this life business."
Update January 2002 - Newsletter 1
Then there is even a higher level - times when the letting go /
surrender marks a major milestone in our journey. Times on our path
when we go through major transformations in which we surrender / let go of
some perspective with which we have been viewing our self and our relationship
to life - when we experience a major paradigm shift. And often these
major shifts / transformations are so huge that they change our relationship
We are involved in a process, a journey,
on multiple levels. One level is, of course, the individual level.
Another much higher level is the level of the Collective Human Soul:
the ONE Soul of which we are all extensions, of which we are all manifestations.
. . . . .
Both the individual process and the larger
human process are marked by milestones. These milestones feel like endings
and beginnings, in many instances they feel like and appear to humans to
be tragedy. They are in Truth a perfectly planned series of lessons.
A perfect part of the unfolding of the Divine script. These milestones
are benchmarks in the progress of the process. They mark the beginnings
of new phases, new stages. . . . . .
(This color of text is used for quotes
from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls)
. . . . . Letting go of this relationship was a catalyst that facilitated
a much larger surrender.
"It may, and often does in my experience, turn out that
once I have let go of something - let go of trying to dictate to the Universe
my idea of what I need in my life to be OK - then the Universe says "OK,
now that you have surrendered, you can have what you wanted."
. . . . . . . It doesn't mean my desire for the fantasy is going to go
away. It will keep coming up - and I will let it go again and again
as I surrender to the Plan as it is written. Thy will not my will be
done." The Path of One Recovering Codependent ~ the dance of one wounded
soul: My Unfolding Dance 22 published October 29, 2003
Because when I let go, I also open up to receive. As long
as I am holding onto something, I am blocking the energy flow of the Universe.
I have to let go and open up in order to allow the flow.
The catch is, that the letting go has to be real. I have
to accept on a gut level that I can be happy and peaceful and fulfilled without:
money; a relationship; whatever. There is no tricking the Universe
into thinking I have let go when I am just pretending to let go so that I
can get." Joy to You & Me and Joy2MeU Update
"I have been having to work real hard at certain times -
some periods for hours - on my internal boundaries to keep from being in the
kind of energy that drives relationship addiction. The feelings of desperation,
panic, and terror that the wounded inner children feel about losing a source
of love. The feeling of energy out of control in my body so that I
am not comfortable in my own skin - so that I feel like I am jumping out of
my own skin. The life and death urgency, desperate neediness to be
reassured that my love is not going to go away.
Another long excerpt that contains some description of the process of doing
the inner child work.
I have, of course, recognized these inner child place for what
they are, and have continued to talk to them and try to calm them down - reassuring
them that everything is going to be okay. That does not mean telling
them that she will come back, that she won't go away. It means telling
them, that if she does go away it will be what is best for us. That
if she goes away it will be part of our Higher Power's plan. That maybe
our Higher Power brought her into our life to break through the barriers
and learn about Love because there is going be another woman in the future
who will be able to be more available and willing to commit to the adventure."
- My Unfolding Dance 21
"The grief is right near the surface. All I have to
do is consciously breathe into it, and the sobbing starts coming, the tears
Hopefully some of you will find these excerpts helpful.:-) RB 12-23-03
What comes out of my mouth is, "I don't want to lose her."
Sobbing. Crying. Hurting.
And then I tell myself, this can't all be about her. All
this grief is not about the possibility of losing this specific person.
I need to separate out the levels here. The intuitive message I have
gotten for years, what I tell the people I am working with, is that, about
20% of what we are feeling in a moment of intense grief is about what is
happening now - and about 80% of it is unresolved grief from the past.
This doesn't feel like childhood grief though. I am sure
some of it is connected to issues from my childhood, some of it is childhood
wounds being triggered - but this doesn't feel like inner child wounds.
And then I get it. This is adult grief about being alone.
This is about how deprived I have been in my adult life. Sobs bubbling
to the surface in a continuous stream of burp like little explosions (not
a very elegant description, but graphically accurate:). Tears seeping
from my eyes.
This is about being so alone for so long as an adult. This
is about being deprived of companionship, of affection, of romance, of touch,
of sexual expression. This is grief from my adult life that I am feeling
"These deprivation issues
bring up a great deal of sadness for me. It is not old grief from my
childhood that I can release and take power away from. These are ongoing
issues that I need to release grief energy about, but then more builds up.
This is grief about now - and the recent past.
This is really good. This grief is really important to feel and identify
because it will help me to see things more clearly now.
When these issues are triggered, I need to just feel the sadness
- to acknowledge it, honor it, release what I can. I need to accept
them as a perfect part of my path somehow, so I don't fall into a victim place
of self pity about them. I can feel sad for myself, affirm that I need
and deserve affection, touch, Love, companionship, sexual fulfillment -
and then let go of buying into the belief that I am a victim because those
needs are not being fulfilled today.
This is one of those internal boundary areas that I have found
so important to practice discernment about in recovery. I need to feel
and honor the feelings - the feeling of being deprived, the feeling of being
the victim of both my fear of intimacy and the Divine plan - but it is vital
for me to not buy into the belief that I am a victim in relationship to
my Spiritual Path. Buying into the belief in victimization is what
creates the artificial emotional state that is self pity." - Dance 12
written June 23, 2002
This is why internal discernment is so vital to me and my process.
I always initially identify the feelings coming up with the most recent thing
that has triggered it - thus my first reaction is that what I was feeling
was all about losing her.
At this point in my writing on the morning
of October 7th about what happened yesterday afternoon, I got off into a discussion
of the dynamics of my internal processing, of discernment, and of the disease
dynamics as it manifests in romantic relationships. It is a really
valuable discussion but it belongs elsewhere, so will be in a few chapters.
Here is a quote from that writing:
By being in my observer consciousness
and telling myself the Truth, that this is not just about her - I am able
to start identifying what it is really about. I recognize that part
of the anguish I heard in my voice when I said, "I don't want to lose her!"
is being caused by my disease.
It feels like it is all about her. It feels like I
am losing her. It feels like I will never have another love
Anguish and grief are two different things.
Grief is pure emotional energy flowing. Anguish is caused by
the mental filter / perspective that is dictating how I am relating to the
emotions. Anguish is grief sifted / examined through a filter of fear,
shame, blame, and black and white thinking.
Those are feelings - they are not telling me facts, are not telling
me the whole Truth.
Just because it feels like you are being
punished does not mean that is the Truth. Feelings are real - they are
emotional energy that is manifested in our body - but they are not necessarily
What we feel is our "emotional truth" and
it does not necessarily have anything to do with either facts or the emotional
energy that is Truth with a capital '"T" - especially when we our reacting
out of an age of our inner child.
Hearing the anguish in my voice as I was crying and sobbing, saying,
"I don't want to lose her" was an immediate tip off to me that the disease
was in play - was putting a negative, victim based spin on what I was feeling
in the moment.
So, I pulled myself into my observer consciousness, my recovery
control center, and started looking at what was happening from the perspective
of the empowered adult on a Spiritual Path. I started using the tools
from my codependency recovery tool box.
The tone and anguish in my voice did go back to an inner child
wound. The genesis of the wound was in my childhood. It feels
like it is probably real connected to the incredible pain, to the loneliness
and feelings of isolation, that the 7 year old who tried to commit suicide
must have felt.
But I have substantially healed that 7 year old's wound - it has
next to no power in my life any more. This is about the effects of that
wound - about the layers that were piled on top of it. This grief about
how the defenses - that I adapted to protect the part of me that wanted to
die - created my relationship phobia / terror of intimacy as an adult.
This grief is about the deprivation I suffered as an adult because of the
"I also know that there are layers of grief from the emotional
trauma I experienced. There is not only trauma about what happened
back then - there is also grief about the effect those experiences had on
me later in life. I get to cry once again for that little boy
as I write this. I have been sobbing for that little boy and the emotional
trauma he experienced - but I am also sobbing for the man that I became.
. . .
To say that what I am going through now feels like a major transformation
is an understatement of epic proportions.
. . . . . I have been going through a transformation one more
time in my recovery. Each time that I need to grow some more - need
to surrender some more of who I thought I was in order to become who I am
- I get to peel another layer of the onion. Each time this happens I
get to reach a deeper level of honesty and see things clearer than I ever
have before. Each time, I also get to release some of the emotional
energy through crying and raging.
Through clearer eyes, and with deeper emotional honesty, I get
to look at all of my major issues again to heal them some more. I used
to think that I could deal with an issue and be done with it - but now I know
that is not the way the healing process works. So recently I have gotten
the opportunity to revisit my issues of abandonment and betrayal, of deprivation
and discounting. My issues with my mother and father, with my gender
and sexuality, with money and success. My issues with the God I was
taught about and the God-Force that I choose to believe in. My patterns
of self-abusive behavior that are driven by my emotional wounds - and the
attempts that I make to forgive myself for behavior that I have been powerless
over. And they all lead me back to the core issue. I am not worthy.
I am not good enough. Something is wrong with me.
At the core of my relationship is the little boy who feels unworthy
and unlovable. And my relationship with myself was built on that foundation.
The original wounding caused me to adapt attitudes and behavior patterns which
caused me to be further traumatized and wounded - which caused me to adapt
different attitudes and behavior patterns which caused me to be further traumatized
and wounded in different ways. Layer upon layer the wounds were laid
- multifaceted, incredibly complex and convoluted is the disease of Codependence.
Truly insidious, baffling and powerful." - Grief, Love, & Fear of Intimacy
Yesterday when I was going through the grieving, I wasn't doing
all this analyzing. I was just working my program as I have learned
to work it. This is part of the gift of this writing for me - and for
you hopefully - is that in writing about my process, I end up breaking it
down into an understandable (hopefully) explanation of the underlying dynamics."
My Unfolding Dance 19
of Joy and Love to Me and You all 2,