Abundant Spirituality + codependency recovery + inner child healing + Love = Joy2MeULogo of Joy to You & Me Enterprises, publisher of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls Joy2MeU Home Page
This is the page of the Joy2MeU web site of codependency counselor, inner child healing pioneer, Spiritual teacher Robert Burney - author of Joyously inspirational Spiritual book: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

This page was originally posted August 17, 2010 and then updated 8/22 & 8/29  Then updated November 1, 2010.  The latest update is January 12, 2001.

Update on the Joy2MeU Adventure - asking for help - for Love offerings or sales through special offers page

Hello Magnificent Spiritual Being,
I did a lot of crying today. Very emotional.  Things are really desperate financially again. I hate having to ask for help - but my Higher Power obviously thinks I need to once again be willing to surrender to working the Third Step and taking the action of asking for help. I start sobbing and crying again as I sit here. 

I am so sick of this economic recession (something I am sure you are also.)  I recently posted a link to one of my Update Newsletters where I shared an excerpt of one of my Joy2MeU Journal articles about some of the incredible Miracles in my recovery - and that same Update was where I was processing about my feelings about needing to consider moving from Cambria where I had loved living because it was too hard to make a living there and support a family.

After we moved down here to San Diego in September 2006 things improved greatly - still tight but closer to manageable.  Then in September 2008 the printer who was printing the latest printing of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls messed up and printed a larger print run that I could really afford at the time.

"The article that I had forgotten I had made as a separate web page, is a part of that same series of articles and is the story of me writing and later publishing the Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls. It is called Leap of Faith ~ Publishing The Dance - and I do have a link to it on my site index page, but it is a small link in the Journal section of that page.  It is a slightly abridged version of the two part article that appears in the Joy2MeU Journal.  Reading it again just now was quite a trip.  It is really quite amazing how much recovery I cram into some of these articles about my path - as well as my Update Newsletters - and by that I mean sharing actual examples of recovery in action.  Examples of letting go and surrender, of taking action despite the fear and how I have worked to change my old programming. It has been so wonderful over the years to have the opportunity to share my recovery - and then be able to reread it to remind myself of the miracles and intuitive guidance that helped me to learn the lessons and follow my path.  It has been one incredible adventure - this recovery journey for me.  I am profoundly grateful for it.

Rediscovering that article also reminded me of how the financial situation we are in got to be such a mess.  I posted that article as part of sending out a request for donations to help keep my book in print one more time.  The combination of not getting nearly as many donations as I had hoped, and the printing company printing a large print run without getting my final approval, put us in a real hard financial place that September.  Then the bottom fell out of the economy shortly after that.  I was thinking it was just the recession . . . . that was impacting us without remembering how the printing of the book had started our own personal recession earlier." - Joy2MeU Update Newsletter May 2010

On January 3rd 2010, I posted a page asking for help in honor of my 26th sobriety anniversary.  Last month (and again earlier this month) I added an update to that page to share what was happening in our life now.

"7/14/10 Another milestone approaching, my 62nd birthday on July 23rd.  Sigh.  And as of today I am not sure if I can keep the utilities all on by then, let alone do anything to celebrate.  As I mentioned in my last Update, things got different and more complicated in our lives recently.
"Of course, it seems like sometimes the Universe gives me more because it is about to give me more need - if you know what I mean. (I used to think that it was taking away what it just gave - but have changed that perspective.;-)  Susan's 21 year old daughter and my 20 year old son both got kicked out of after care programs this week - so now we are going to have 2 more people living with us in this house that is too small for just the 3 of us.  Two more people without jobs of course.  Ah yes, more opportunities for growth.;-)" - Joy2MeU Update Newsletter May 2010
My son is doing very well - has over 6 months clean and sober now.  And was recently he won his appeal for Social Security Disability (for the chronic pain and hip replacement surgery he is going to need as I talked about in that last Update) - but not sure when the bureaucracy is going to get around to paying his benefits (which will allow him to start paying rent).  He would have been dead now I am sure, if we hadn't taken him in, but it has been costing us around $750 a month extra to have him here.  We have been afraid that Susan's daughter might not make it, but she may have finally hit the bottom she needed to start getting into recovery for real.  She started a methadone maintenance outpatient program this week - good news that she was willing but of course more cost to us and she is back living with us again for a period of time. (It is crowded in our little house with just Susan Darien and I - adding two more complicates things greatly.)

One of our cars got repossessed the 2nd of this month, but I think we are going to buy Susan's son's girlfriends car - if we can come up with the $300 for the old junker.  Anyway, the time has come again when I need to put out a message to the Universe that I need help.  I hate that I once again have an opportunity to practice surrender and faith and acceptance and demonstrate my willingness to do whatever it takes - obviously I have some very gnarly Karma that I am settling.  Any help that anyone can send my way will be greatly appreciated. ~ RB 9:13 am 7/14/10

8/10/10 We were able to get another car for less than $400.  Still paying rent in two installments - paid the last part of July on the 31st, and not sure when I will be able to pay any on August.  The Adventure continues.  And I still find many moments of Joy in my life every day - and have never had more Love from intimate relationships with other human beings in my life than I do today.   More will be revealed about what the Divine Plan is - I don't need to know today. ;-) RB" - Working the Third Step - ASKing for Help - Opening to Abundance
The car we got for under $400 is acting like it is about to die.  The other car has the transmission going out.  Still do not have any rent to pay for August.  Abe just got 8 months and is doing great (although kind of touchy while working on his fourth step.)  Susan's daughter (Darien's mom) is in a recovery home and doing very well.  Her best friend who lived around the corner from us died of an OD in the back seat of a broken down car down the block last week - he was 20.  Hopefully the people that knew him will get the message that alcoholism / addiction is not child's play - it is a fatal disease.

Abe's SSI disability started but doesn't cover what it costs us to have him here.  I continue to have phone clients tell me they want to continue but can't because of finances.  In the later part of September my social security will start (one of those good news bad news situations - egad how did I ever get this old!!!) - so that will help.  And the first of October Abe's SSI will increase because he is now paying us rent. Darien's father is also working on getting more support for him from the army.  I can actually start to see a light at the end of the tunnel in about a month.  It will especially help I think, if I am able to get a DVD made of my Intensive - something I would very much like to do on September 5th when I have the next one.

Part of the reason today was such an emotional day is that we took Darien for his first day in kindergarten in public school.  The place was overrun with parents and kids - we had to park blocks away.  There are over 80 kindergarten kids and none of the 20 in his room was anyone he knew.  Darien got really upset and started crying.  Susan and I also got really emotional.  We had been hoping to put him in a Montessori School like his preschool.  In fact Susan found one in Carlsbad that goes through 6th grade that she fell in love with.  She took Darien to visit it last week and he really loved it.  The director and one of the teachers spent almost an hour with Susan and Darien.  When it was time to leave Darien thanked them for spending so much time with him and expressed his beautiful self so wonderfully that both of them - as well as Susan - got all choked up and teary eyed.  He is such a beautiful, sweet soul.  He told me the other day that he wants to learn everything and that is why he asks so many questions.  (Like "What do we need plants for?"  "Where did animals come from?" "How do you get to be a father?"  "Do boy birds sing?" - this last was coming home from school one day when he started in with one of his trains of thought that went something like this:  "Wouldn't it be cool to be a bird!  I could fly up in the sky and it would feel so wonderful!  And sing beautiful songs.  Do boy birds sing?  Then I could sing beautiful songs and make the whole world happy."  He is really big on wanting to make the whole world happy and keeping the planet clean and beautiful.)

In February, the last time things got so desperate that I had to send out an appeal to my whole e-mailing list, I mentioned that one of the things we needed to do was keep Darien in his Montessori school.

"The response was overwhelmingly positive.  Most people weren't able to send anything, but did send good wishes and prayers - as well as thanks for having the courage to ask for help.  There were a few people who responded very negatively and asked to be taken of the mailing list.  There were also 3 or 4 people who wrote to say we should take Darien out of the Montessori School - that it was a luxury not a necessity.  That couldn't be further from the truth.

We originally put him in that school because it was cheaper than regular day care.  And it has been a great experience for him - he is so much more confident in socializing with other kids now, it is really great.  The main reason to put him in the school however was to give me some time to work.  I have almost no time to do any writing these days (witness the need to do it in the early am) - and find it impossible to do any kind of focused work that takes some concentration when his enthusiastic, exuberant little self is around.

"During the time he is in school - basically 9 until 3 - is the time I have to get things done.  Then and early in the morning or late at night.  (Last night - with the help of a tooth ache - I stayed up until about 2 working on this.)  My mornings are centered around getting him dressed and ready and off to school - and once he gets home in the afternoon it is hard to do anything that takes very much concentration and focus because he wants attention and help with various things.  Or he wants to be on my computer playing games - which means I can't be on my computer.  The other day he changed the screen saver on my computer - 4 years old, and he is finding things on my computer that I didn't know were there.  I used to have more time in the afternoon or evening to get some things done before Susan started this job - but now she isn't here near as much and is often pretty tired when she is." - Feb. 5, 2009 message to Yahoo Mailing list quoted in April 2009 Update Newsletter

It is between 9 and 3 on weekdays that I try to do most of my telephone counseling appointments, get to the post office to mail off orders, do the grocery shopping, etc., etc.  He is a Joy and a blessing, but it is challenging to get any work done when he is around.  So, having some time to myself is very important to me and keeping him in school was not a luxury." - Joy2MeU Update Newsletter May 2010

This time of course, the Montessori School would be a luxury, because he can go to kindergarten in the public school for free.  We really don't want to send him there. The one time a few weeks ago that we went over there to check it out, there were older kids - maybe 3rd or 4th graders - running around, cussing and generally acting in ways we really don't want him exposed to at this age.  After that visit, we started searching frantically for other options.  Most of the private schools are too expensive, and some of the them are not that great.  But then Susan found this one in Carlsbad - which is about 10 miles away, but in the same vicinity as Susan's office.  It isn't as expensive as most of the private schools - but still not in the realm of possibility when we can't even pay the rent.

The Montessori School doesn't start until September 1st - while public schools started today, August 16th. (I am actually finishing this on the 17th.)  We realized that no matter what we wanted, the Universe might have different plans.  And that it could be best in the Cosmic Scheme of things for him to go to public school.  Also, realistically, if we didn't start him in public school and the end of the month comes without enough financial resources to send him to the other school we would be in a really bad position - perhaps having to start him in public school several weeks late.  We certainly didn't want to put him in that kind of position.

In any case, what happened is that Susan became very upset and gestured for us to go.  As we were leaving we ran into 3 of his friends from his preschool, but we were already leaving and he was so upset. When we got home I was an emotional wreck for a couple of hours.  Just kept bursting in tears and sobs.  It took me awhile to process through what was happening and realize I was reacting out of an inner child place on one hand.

"By the time I was 4 or 5 I felt overwhelming shame.  I felt like I was inadequate and defective because I was unable to protect my mother from my father." - Union Within - healing the inner child

And also reacting out of the old tapes that tell me I am a loser and a failure because I am not making enough money and able to support and protect my family.  The old tapes that tell me that nothing I ever do is good enough because I am inherently flawed and defective - inherently unlovable and unworthy.  When thinking about sending out this appeal during that time, it was going to start with something like, "My heart is so broken."

As I said, it took me a couple of hours to work through that - to set some internal boundaries with the critical parent voice and with the inner child places within me that feel so broken and damaged.  Shortly after I had gotten to a place of more balance Darien came in to talk to me.  He proceeded to tell me that he was so upset because there were so many people there - and that I should remember that it takes him awhile to get used to someplace new.  He then said he wanted to go to school tomorrow (today) and "I promise that I will be really brave."

So, this morning I took the brave little man to school.  It seemed like there were hundreds less people there and we were able to park right in front. Of course, we went early and his room was still locked.  But then we connected with his teacher and she was really cool with him.  She had to go into the office for a bit and Darien started dancing - doing what I think of as his Irish jig kind of a dance.  By the time, she had shown him around the room and explained a few things to us, a few of the kids he knew from his old school had shown up.  Last I saw of him, he was waving good bye as he ran to the playground to play before school started.  So, more will be revealed about how this all works out - but as of today he has started kindergarten in the public school.

By the time he came into tell me that he was going to be brave, I had worked through the reactions I had and remembered the Truth about asking for help.

"Learning to have the humility and courage to ask for help was a vital component for me in learning to live life sober.  I understand now that asking for help is an act of Love for my self, is part of taking responsibility for myself because I cannot do it alone - I was never meant to do it alone." - Donations to the Cause / Love Offerings / Spiritual Tithes

So, I am getting ready to publish this page now to demonstrate a willingness to be Loving to me.  I have made up some pages with special offices on the products I have and on phone counseling.  There is a list of those along with links to the offers pages just below the donation links.  As far as the donations go, I have always sent energy back when anyone has been moved to send some green energy my way.

"The Metaphysical Law of Karma - of cause and effect / giving and receiving / what you sow you reap - is what governs this life experience we are having.   Giving and receiving are two parts of one dynamic - like breathing.  As a friend of mine who is a New Thought minister says, "to say giving is more Blessed than receiving is like saying exhaling is more Blessed than inhaling."  Just as breath needs to flow in and out, so too does energy need to flow - on all levels, including emotional energy.  Blocking the flow of any energy, whether it is money energy or emotional energy, is dysfunctional."  - Metaphysical Law: Giving and Receiving ~ Donations / Love Offering
This time in addition to what I have sent back in the past, I am also going to offer a free download of the digitally remastered MP3 download of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "An audio Spiritual Experience" and also of the e-book version of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.

I know there is a perfect Divine Plan unfolding and that everything will work out for the best in the long run.  What that is going to look like I can't know - More Will Be Revealed.  The reality of my life right now is I have never had such an abundance of Love in my life.  Things between Susan and I are better than they have ever been (she asked me last week if we could just get married in Cambria soon) - and Darien continues to amaze us and bring so much Joy into our lives. Bringing my son Abe out here was the absolutely right thing to do and we are very glad we did it.  We also did the right thing with Susan's daughter Rose from all the evidence at this point - and hopefully after 6 months in the recovery program she will come out able to be more responsible and mature.

[While I was writing this the guy who does the cruises called to see if we were still wanting to get married on a cruise of the Caribbean in late February as Susan had been wanting to do a month or so ago.  I told him that we had pretty much decided to just get married in a simple way sooner and then maybe do a celebration of it later - perhaps on the cruise.  (We found out that you can't get married legally in international waters for one thing - and of course, there is no way right now we can make any kind of financial commitment to take a cruise in 6 months.)  I gave him Susan's phone number to check with her on what she had going in regards to organizing a group of people for the cruise.  About 15 minutes later she called me - she had already talked to him - to ask what I thought of getting married in Cambria next month.  So, that is the plan at the moment.;-]

How the rent and utilities will be paid I don't know.  I know that any time I have put out a blatant cry for help (as opposed to hinting that I need help to avoid having to ask out right - like I did last month;-) the Universe has answered - often in the form of people on my mailing list donating or buying at the time I need it most. I will be very grateful if you are moved to respond in any way this time.  One of the things I am hoping is that I will be in a position to film / record my next Intensive.  I sent an appeal to several people that I thought might have the means to help with that.
"I was wondering if you would consider a loan of $2000 that I could pay back with interest out of proceeds from sale of a DVD of my Intensive.  I very much want to get the Intensive recorded for posterity - and know there is a market out there for it as people are inquiring all the time.  I have also come to realize that there are many things I say in my Intensive that are different from ways I have written in the past - and really want to get all that on record also.  So, I would use a portion of the money to get the recording done.  I really am quite desperate and so hate having to ask - but there must be some reason in the cosmic scheme of things that this is necessary."
If there is anyone that would be open to this kind of arrangement, please give me a call. (760-230-1821)

So, this is where I am at in my recovery adventure / spiritual path on August 17th 2010.  Once again surrendering to the need to ask for help and reaching out to the Magnificent Spiritual Beings that have found some help in my work over the years.  I am hoping that this is the last time I will need to do this, but I will keep surrendering to, and accepting, whatever is presented to me on my path by my Higher Power because my Higher Power's Plan for things has turned out pretty wonderful so far.  Love and Joy & Peace and Abundance 2 You & Me ~ Robert 8/17/10
"I freely share so much information on my site because . . . I believe it is my Karmic Mission in this lifetime.  I want to share the Joyous message and the precious information that I have discovered - and it is what I need to do for my Recovery and Spiritual Path.  It is not such a great strategy when it comes to finances however.;-)  So Donations to the Cause / Love Offerings / Spiritual Tithes are always appreciated if you feel my sharing has helped you in your Healing / Recovery process and on your Spiritual Path. If my writing has helped you remember Truth that brings you some Joy and inner peace, and your Spirit moves you to send some Love back my way . . . . - Metaphysical Law: Giving and Receiving - Donations to the Cause / Love Offerings / Spiritual Tithes
Update August 22, 2010: Some donations have been coming in, and some sales, enough that I told the landlady's lawyer son on Friday that I should be able to pay the first half of the August rent by Tuesday or Wednesday.  Today our best car broke down.  If we are lucky it will just be a water pump and cost less than $600 - but doesn't look like I will get the rent paid when I told him.  Hopefully there are some more people who are going to take advantage of the great deals on phone counseling or the upcoming workshop or some more donations are on the way.  The Adventure continues and More Will Be Revealed. Meanwhile Darien's aunt and uncle took him to LegoLand on Friday and after riding the rides they went to the Waterpark - "the Greatest Day Ever!" according to the amazing little man.  I got to watch him surf yesterday and was blown away.  He goes boldly out into the waves with his boogie board - the man who doesn't like to get his face in the water - and rides them in.  Very cool!  (A little scary for Papa to watch.;-)  And he is loving the public school so far.  He is obviously way ahead of where they are starting at, but I guess we don't have to start worrying about him preparing for college just yet.  I should have an announcement about the cruise in February later this week.  We will get married next month but have a celebration on the cruise.  Hard to have moments of Joy when waiting for the tow truck to come take the car to the shop - but not impossible. ;-) I know there is a Divine Plan unfolding here somehow. ~ Robert 8/22/10 6:22 pm

Update August 27, 2010: Have gotten first half of August rent paid and all the major utilities covered - so that is very good news!  The junker car we took on a month ago had some major problems but we found someone who wanted just that kind of car and sold it today - seemed like that car was going to be far more hassle than it was worth (it had a broken motor mount so I was having to drive very carefully.) Got the water pump on other car fixed for under $350 - it has some transmission problems going on but hopefully is good for awhile.  We rented a car for a week while all this was going on but will have to give that back Monday (Susan mentioned on her Facebook page that it was a cool hybrid.)  Having only one car will cause some major logistical problems but if we have to go that way for awhile we can work it out I am sure.  Susan is going to see about buying a car on credit with perhaps a cosigner to try to get workable payments.  We went to open house at Darien's public school last night - and afterward Susan cried.  We are not happy about his teacher or the situation.  This afternoon Susan got an e-mail from the Montessori school saying they might be able to work with us.  We both want so much to be able to send him there - but are willing to accept the Divine Plan if that doesn't work out.  Doesn't look like I will be able to afford to record my Intensive a week from Sunday. We are very grateful to everyone who helped out or sent good wishes.  Would be grateful to anyone else who wants to send some help our way.  Hopefully a few people will take advantage of the special offers I have available before Saturday night when they expire.  I am not sure we are going to be able to make the trip up to Cambria to get married as we planned in a couple of weeks - or that we will have a car that we feel confident enough in to make the trip. If we have to postpone it a few weeks, we can.  We are just going to have a very simple ceremony with a few people up there and then have our real celebration on the cruise hopefully.  (And hopefully, I will get some time this weekend to work on the page with information about the cruise.)

I hope and pray this is the last time I have to ask for help in this way.  I just got all emotional writing that.  I really don't like doing this at all, but accepting and surrendering and willingness to take action for me and my recovery have been the key to turning my life into an Adventure worth living instead of an endurance contest of suffering.  This will be the last update to this page - I will probably do an Update Newsletter in September.  I am going to close this with a quote from my book about acceptance and surrender and all those spiritual principles that are so vital to making life worth living - so vital to making it possible for me to still be celebrating life as a dance with many, many moments of Joy & Love in it no matter what is happening with the external circumstances. ~ Robert 8/27/10 5:42 pm

Update November 1, 2010:
Now it is November and I still haven't gotten the Update Newsletter written - or been able to update Darien's page, the little man who is going to be 6 next week.  Susan's Dad helped her buy a new used car - very good news.  The bad news part of that is he has been taking payments out of her monthly bonuses - so less income the last couple of months.  We decided to do the marriage thing on Valentine's Day - though we did make the trip to Cambria as part of our own private commitment ceremony.  The light at the end of the tunnel financially still seems to be about a month away.  Susan is getting back into doing some refinancing loans for some people, and hopefully when that very slow unfolding process is finished we will be able to get caught up so that we are not two months behind on utilities and paying the rent in two installments.  I am paying the second half of October rent today - than God for a patient landlord.  

With sales through my website, there are sometimes days in a row with nothing happening - and then a lot of money can come in in a few days.  Unfortunately right now is a time when there have been almost no sales for 5 days and I don't know how we are going to be eating by the end of the week - let alone how we are going to afford to celebrate Darien's birthday.  It makes me very, very, very sad that it is so hard financially these days - and I do have to fight against that critical parent voice telling me what a loser and failure I am.  I feel really betrayed by my Higher Power in some moments - but still the level of serenity I have is amazing, as well as the ability to feel Joy in the moment for many moments every day.

There was a time on my spiritual path when I raged at my Higher Power and demanded $5000 to get caught up and complete a mission I had been intuitively led to undertake - and I got it almost immediately.  (Story in Leap of Faith ~ Publishing The Dance)  I have had too many miracles and too much abundance of Joy & Love manifested in my recovery experience in the years since then to rage at my HP any more.  That sort of thing doesn't work if I am faking it - but it sure would be wonderful if the Universe could manifest $5000 (or more;-) in my life right now to help me get out from under this financial pressure.  More will be revealed about how things are going to unfold.  I have great faith in my path - I just really, really, really tired of this having been such an issue in my life for so long.  Joy & Love & Abundance 2 You & Me - RB 11-1-10

PS: I did post some special offers today to try to generate some income.

"There were certain books of Truth that I was led to that were especially important in my consciousness raising, in my Recovery process.  I am now going to quote a story from one of those books which means a lot to me.  It is a story from a book called Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson.  This book deals with the Medicine Wheel, and the totem animals of the Medicine Wheel Spiritual beliefs of certain Native American tribes. 

The subject of this particular story is the Swan totem - Swan power:
As Swan looked high above Sacred Mountain, she saw the biggest swirling black hole she had ever seen.  Dragonfly came flying by, and Swan stopped him to ask about the black hole.  Dragonfly said, "Swan, that is the doorway to the other planes of imagination.  I have been guardian of the illusion for many, many moons.  If you want to enter there, you would have to ask permission and earn the right."

Swan was not so sure that she wanted to enter the black hole,  She asked Dragonfly what was necessary for her to earn entry.  Dragonfly replied, "You must be willing to accept whatever the future holds as it is presented, without trying to change the Great Spirit's plan."  Swan looked at her ugly little duckling body and then answered,  "I will be happy to abide by Great Spirit's plan.  I won't fight the currents of the black hole.  I will surrender to the flow of the spiral and trust what I am shown."  Dragonfly was very happy with Swan’s answer and began to spin the magic to break the pond's illusion.  Suddenly, Swan was engulfed by a whirlpool in the center of the pond. 

Swan reappeared many days later, but now she was graceful and white and long-necked.  Dragonfly was stunned!  "Swan what happened to you!" he exclaimed.  Swan smiled and said, "Dragonfly, I learned to surrender my body to the power of Great Spirit and was taken to where the future lives.  I saw many wonders high on Sacred Mountain and because of my faith and my acceptance I have been changed.  I have learned to accept a state of Grace."
A "state of Grace" is the condition of being Loved unconditionally by our Creator without having to earn that Love.  We are Loved unconditionally by the Great Spirit.  What we need to do is to learn to accept that state of Grace.

The way we do that is to change the attitudes and beliefs within us that tell us that we are not Lovable.  And we cannot do that without going through the black hole.  The black hole that we need to surrender to traveling through is the black hole of our grief.  The journey within - through our feelings - is the journey to knowing that we are Loved, that we are Lovable.

It is through willingness and acceptance, through surrender, trust, and faith, that we can begin to own the state of Grace which is our True condition.

We are all beautiful swans who exist in a state of Grace, in a condition of being unconditionally Loved.  The dance of Recovery is a process of learning to accept and integrate the Truth of Grace into our lives.
The goal in this Age of Healing and Joy is integration and balance.  To integrate the Spiritual Truth into our physical experience so that we can fill the hole inside and find wholeness within.  As we integrate our True Spiritual nature into our relationship with our physical being we can begin to achieve some balance and harmony with and between all of the parts of our being.
This age is a time for growing and learning, a time to become conscious of the True nature of the Source Energy, a time of Spiritual Awakening.  We have been given the wonder-full gift of having the ability and the tools to start integrating the Truth of a Loving Universal Force into our day-to-day experience of life.  We now have the knowledge and guidance that we need to start bringing some balance to our relationships - with ourselves and our God/Goddess, with other people and the planet - so that we can live in a way that allows us to experience some Peace and Love on our life path.

We can heal our wounded souls enough to change the dance of life from a dance of endurance and suffering to a dance that celebrates living.  We now have access to the power to transform the dance of Codependence to a dance of healing and Joy."
- Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

January 12, 2011
So, here it is 2 months later and I still need $5,000 to just to get back close to even.  I am finally getting my Update published anyway.  And I am very happy that Susan and I are going to be getting married in a couple of days.  Susan had the opportunity to take Darien up to Yosemite to play in the snow and stay with a friend of hers who has 2 kids that he loves to play with after Christmas.  And coming back from there she ended up spending a couple of days in San Luis Obispo.  It meant that I had to spend New Years Eve by myself without my buddy and my baby.  But it gave her a chance to do some processing and really get clear that she did want, and was ready, to get married.  She actually wanted me to come up there on the train on my 27th Sobriety Birthday Jan. 3rd - the day after doing my latest Intensive - so we could get our marriage license then, but when I went to buy the ticket in the evening the train to SLO was sold out.  So, we ended up planning the trip that is coming up.

We got through December in part by her taking out a loan on her new car that her Dad helped her buy. So, now we are paying back 2 loans on that one car.  And right now we are actually borrowing money from my son that he received as part of his back settlement for his SSI Disability.  The refinancing loan that Susan has been doing for someone, the income that was going to help us catch up when it finally went through, just fell apart this week.  It has been ridiculously dragged out by the bank which has been very deceptive in what they were doing and Susan and the woman decided this week that it was not a good loan to go ahead on.  So, now I don't know what is going to happen.  I desperately need a chunk of money to come in to be able to pay the utilities and rent this month, and don't know where it is coming from - let alone how we can possibly pay for the cruise or the air fare to get there.  But we are going to go ahead with the trip to Cambria and getting married and deal with wherever we are when we get back.  More will be revealed.  Any help anyone could send our way would be greatly, hugely appreciated. - RB 1-12-11

Donations / Love Offerings
My way of keeping the energy flowing - by sending some Love energy and healing information back your way - has been to gift subscriptions to Dancing in the Light and to the Joy2MeU Journal for donations of a certain amount.  This time in addition to what I have sent back in the past, I am also going to offer a free download of the digitally remastered MP3 files of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "An audio Spiritual Experience" and also a pdf of the e-book version of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls   I want the energy to flow both ways this year also - so will make the following donations to your cause in return for your donation to the Joy2MeU cause.
Anyone who makes a donation of $15 or more can choose between a subscription to the Joy2MeU Journal or the e-book version of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.

Anyone who makes a donation of $20 or more can choose between a subscription to the Joy2MeU Journal or the Dancing in Light pay to view section of the site or the e-book version of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.

Anyone who makes a donation of $35 or more can choose between a subscriptions to the Joy2MeU Journal and the e-book or the Dancing in Light pay to view section of the site and the e-book or the digitally remastered MP3 files of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "An audio Spiritual Experience"

People who donates $50 or more, can choose between subscriptions to both the Journal and Dancing sections - or a spiral bound version of my inner child e-book - The Path to Empowerment, Inner Peace, and Freedom from the Past or the e-book and the digitally remastered MP3 download.  Or some such combination thereof.

Anyone who makes a donation of $75 or more can choose subscriptions to the Joy2MeU Journal and the Dancing in Light pay to view section of the site and either the digitally remastered MP3 files of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "An audio Spiritual Experience" or the booklet.

Anyone that donates $100 or more can have access to the two subscription areas - and will be sent the booklet with the inner child articles and the e-book or the digitally remastered MP3 download if they wish to have them.

Anyone that donates $125 or more is invited to come as my guest to one of my Intensive Training Day seminars in San Diego.

Anyone that donates $150 or more can have all of the above that they want.

If you would like to send a check, the address is PO Box 235401, Encinitas CA 92023, or you can call me and leave a message at 760-230-1821 if you can help financially in some way.  I will be forever grateful.
It is also possible to use PayPal to make a donation by clicking this button: 

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