Joy to You & Me
and Joy2MeU Update
|Hello Recovering Codependent,
Well here it is kindred spirit, my first Update in over 6 months
- and only my second Update of 2008. It is probably also my last Update
Newsletter in this format - because of the exciting new developments associated
with Joy2MeU, which includes an modern way of keeping e-mail lists and sending
out Newsletters. Even though I have only posted 2 Updates this year,
I have been sending out much more frequent updates about what is happening
to my Yahoo e-mailing list - and it was one of the most recent of those
updates that sparked the writing of two new articles that I has hoped to
post with this Update, but that I actually posted last Saturday.
First however the exciting new developments. You all
should have received the announcement about the new websites
to promote and share my work. A series of up to 10 websites
are planned to focus on different aspects of my work - in the hopes
of reaching a larger audience. The first of those sites is RobertBurneyLive.com.
This site is going to serve as the eCommerce hub for a the series
of websites that will be launched focused upon my writing. The
other site that we have launched at this point is Wounded Souls.com which
is focused on codependency.
I launched my first primitive site in February 1988, and my
own domain Joy2MeU.com in February of 1989. This site,
Joy2MeU.com is a huge website (over 350 pages - of which about
250 are available to anyone with internet access) that people often have
trouble navigating (kind of a labyrinth.) The color scheme
is also difficult for some people to read - and the style is far
out of date in terms of website design (someone recently described
it as looking like something from 1996.) As a result I have
teamed with Jeff Sohler of Enrichment Unlimited to design and maintain
this new series of sites. Jeff is the person who created the
work in progress CDs that we have been able to offer since it was no
longer economically feasible to produce cassette tapes - cassettes being
a thing of the past now. (These new sites and other changes are
coming from a partnership with Jeff - who came to my first Intensive in
April 2006. He is investing heavily in being in partnership with
me and creating these changes because he passionately supports and believes
in my work and wants to help bring it to a larger audience - which is
great since I haven't had the financial means to do any of these things.)
As part of launching with these new sites we are offering an e-book version of Codependence:
The Dance of Wounded Souls for the first time, and a truly
high quality downloadable MP3 version of the audio version of my
book: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "An
Audio Spiritual Experience" In the future we will be offering
a variety of other products and services including other e-books, as well
as downloadable audios and CDs of my work . There will be periodic
telephone conferences - and the possibility of building a community for
people who resonate with my work.
So, that is all real exciting.;-) I also have teamed
with Amazon.com to offer a Kindle version of my book through
their innovative portable ebook, magazines and newspapers reader
- Amazon.com Kindle books. I don't have very
high expectations of that at this time since their Kindle device
is still quite expensive - but it was progress in making my book
available in another format.
The two new articles I am adding at this time were sparked
by an experience I will be sharing about in the Newsletter portion
of this Update below. Although one of those articles was actually
one I started working on a year and a half ago - but never had the
time, energy, or compulsion to finish: The Law of Attraction -
Misunderstood & Misinterpreted The other article is
one that I wrote to go with the one on the Law of Attraction because
I find so prevalent the discounting of emotions in so many of the
messages of mostly Truth that are available today. I titled that
article: The Metaphysics of Emotions - emotional energy is real.
In August I made appeal
for help in the reprinting Codependence:
The Dance of Wounded Souls - and in September added this
update on the situation to my Donations page.
"September 9, 2008 There is good news and not so good news.
The good news is that last week 5250 copies of the latest reprint
of my book were delivered. The not so good news is that the
Printing Plant went ahead with the final print run without notifying
me that they had started - there was a point when I was supposed to
tell them how many I actually wanted instead of how many I had hoped
to print. Because I hadn't raised as much in donations as I had
hoped, and Susan's deal didn't net her as much as we expected, I was
going to decrease the print run by a third or more. Unfortunately
I didn't get that opportunity, so now am in a severe financial crunch.
Any help anyone could send our way would be greatly appreciated."
We are still experiencing that financial crunch unfortunately
despite the generosity of the people who did contribute. I
had hoped the launching of the new sites and new products would
help with that situation - and hopefully it will - but the launch
was delayed for weeks by technical problems and as I am writing this
on November 2nd, Jeff has still not solved problems that he has encountered
sending out announcements to his mailing list (which is in the 10s
of thousands) - so the influx of new income has not manifested as
yet. More will be revealed about how this will play out. (Although
some good news came last week in that Susan's Dad agreed to pay for
part of our plane tickets to Florida for the Cruise in December as part
of our Christmas gift. I used part of the rent money for the rest
- but needed to make a move because the tickets were going up on almost
a daily basis, and we wanted to be sure we could make it to Florida for
the Cruise. There are still cabins available for the Caribbean Cruise by the way. We would love to have some
more of you join us.;-)
In conjunction with that appeal for help I published a new
page on Joy2MeU that is compiled from excerpts of a two part article
that is part of The Story of my Spiritual Path / Recovery in the
Joy2MeU Journal. That article tells the story of the origins
and miraculous journey that led to publishing The Dance of Wounded Souls: Leap of Faith ~ Publishing
The Dance - truly an amazing story. (And a reminder
to me that there is a plan unfolding even though I don't always
like the details of how the plan unfolds.)
I have also added testimonials to the Intensive testimonial
page for each of the Intensives since the last Update and announced
new dates for January 3rd (my 25th sobriety birthday;-) and February
15th. There are still spaces available for the next one on
November 29th. I added the latest batch of testimonials from
people whose lives have been changed by my book, tapes, CDs,
and website to the Testimonial
page, two new resources (in Canada and Illinois) to my
referral to local healers page,
and some new recommended Links
to that page.
It is actually kind of hard to get time on my new computer
(something I shared about in a Joy_2_Me_U message) since Darien
is now so proficient on the computer that he wants to be on it alone
all the time, playing games on various kids sites. It is pretty
amazing to watch him manipulate the mouse as he explores the different
sites. He is constantly surprising us with new words and phrases -
with how much he knows about things we had no idea he knew anything about.
This past Monday (10th) was his 4th birthday. One of
the things he had asked for was a guitar with strings. So I got him
a little guitar that had strings but also had buttons you could push for
it to play different tunes and it even has a whammy bar (that he knows how
to use!). He picked that up and started rocking out. Strumming
the guitar and fingering the frets like a real rock legend - with all the
attitude on his face and the moves (holding it over his head and playing,
etc.) It was amazing. His exuberance for life is Truly a magnificent
gift to be able to experience. I won't go on and on about him, but
did want to share with you one of his classics from a couple of months ago.
We were in a store and when I told him we weren't going to buy anything
today, he said, "Not going to buy anything today. That's not good."
I will probably share some more on the Newsletter page to follow this,
but Truly Darien is a Blessed Gift in our lives. (I am going to include
at the bottom of this page a picture of him with the car bed his Dad -
who is in Iraq now - got him.)
Additions to the web site since the April 2008 Update include:
4:19 am Wednesday November 12,
: I am having some difficulty getting traction in
writing this Newsletter. There are several reasons for that I believe.
One is that there are some issues I need to process about that I
really would rather avoid (and it is possible I will be making some revelations
and declarations that scare the crap out of me.) A second is that
I am going to be writing about 3 different - but intimately interrelated
- themes: My personal life and relationships; the Landmark
Forum; and the personal issues that I am faced with at this point
in my recovery adventure. I am trying to get some clarity in how to
structure this so that it will be most beneficial for those of you who are
taking the time to read this - and at the same time I am realizing that
this Newsletter may in a way mark the end of an era.
I have been processing online now for a decade. Sharing
my experience, strength, and hope - my recovery process with anyone
who has access to the internet. I guess in some ways I was blogging
before there were such things as blogs.
"I guess it is pretty weird to be processing here on my
computer and then sending it out for the world to read - but that
is what I do. The Truth is so powerful and wonderful and by doing
the process work we get to start being allies with the Spirit where
Love lives instead of with the disease where fear rules." - Joy to
You & Me Update/Newsletter 11-22-98
In that November 1998 Newsletter I said a bit about
the style of writing that I was developing for the internet - basically
that of an indulgent writer with out an editor. It was at that time
that I also kind of came out of hiding - disengaged my cloaking devices
as it were - in terms of limiting access to some of my more controversial
writing. (That was also the Newsletter that started me plunging
into dealing with my fear of intimacy issues - something I am sure we will
get to later.) (The Question and Answer pages that I refer to in
this quote were the idea I had that later provided an example of how to
set internal boundaries in the article Setting Boundaries with
"The next major change is that I have put a link to my question
and answer pages on my Home Page for the first time. When I first started
doing the question and answer pages a few months ago I only gave the address
out to you all on my mailing list. I was a little leery about making
them available to the general public for several reasons:
1. I talk about some pretty controversial stuff from a
perspective that can be upsetting to some people. I was working
on the page about Jesus
and Mary Magdalene at that time and was not sure I wanted to put
it out there for everyone to see. As it turns out I am very proud
of that page - I personally think it is quite Masterful - and I feel
sorry for anyone who reads it with such a closed mind or rigid belief
system that they would feel the need to react negatively. (By the
way, I never got a reply from the person who asked the question - but
when I sent out the next update the one to that person got returned as
barred from that address - sad.) Also, though in the past I have found
myself showing great resistance to being out there in front as a target
- I have now come to a level of acceptance such that it would even be
ok if they burned me at the stake again - I want all of the Karma settled,
whatever that takes.
2. I have been scared to death that my book editor Heidi
who lives in Taos New Mexico would discover them and what she would
do would probably be worse than burning at the stake. In
explanation of what I am talking about - here is the disclaimer that I
just placed at the top of my indexQA page:
(For any of you that have not read my update/newsletters,
the one for 8-23-98 explains that I am enjoying the freedom of approaching
these Q & A pages and updates in a very casual fashion when it
comes to grammar and punctuation - including allowing myself to end
sentences with prepositions - so if it bothers you, it can be a wonderful
opportunity to practice letting go and not throwing the baby out with
the bath water. :-) )
So now I have so much courage and faith that I am not only
willing to face the mob again - but also to face Heidi if I have to.
(One of those prepositions-oh well.) The index page for the question and
answer pages is now out there for the world to see - so More Will Be
Revealed." - Joy to
You & Me Update/Newsletter 11-22-98
I have had a few people over the years who were editors or proofreaders
or grammar teacher express some horror at my style - or more subtly offer
to edit for me. The thing that really marks my style as it evolved
however, was created by the unique experience that is the internet -
and that is my ability to include quotes and links within the articles.
Thus I ended up writing very long articles that included internal
quotes and links. Something I described in one Newsletter as Dancing
in the Labyrinth.
"As I said in the Update part of this Newsletter, my process,
and especially my writing, can be like finding my way through a labyrinth.
(And it just occurred to me, may be what some people's experience of my
web site is like.;-)
Writing about this level of recovery for me is like exploring
some kind of labyrinth at times - each twist and turn I follow leads
to a new perspective, to a different facet - and just when I think I am
finished, I turn a corner and am headed back into the maze. - Joy2MeU Update 5-23-01
I have periods where I can't write at all - and then when I need
to write, I have great resistance to getting started. (As I have
talked about in past Update Newsletters.) Then I have periods
that are a kind of creative frenzy, where it feels as if I can't write
fast enough to get all that is pouring out onto paper (Computer screen.)
I have been in one of those creative frenzies for some weeks now.
This most recent journey into the writing labyrinth has really gotten
out of hand. Out of my control that is (as if I am ever in control
of the process) - and that is why this Newsletter that I promised before
the end of May is only ready now.
Once the floodgates open, what I try to do, is direct the flow
of my writing towards the goal I have in mind. An article focused
on a specific area, or my Update Newsletter or whatever. I have
some points I want to make, and I choose a starting point and then leap
into the labyrinth.
because of the multiple levels involved in the subject
areas I write about;
the flow of the writing often jumps out of my intended channel
into a completely different, but intimately related channel. Same
tree, different branch." - May 2001 Update Newsletter
because a topic can be viewed in very different ways from different
because writing about a topic can be very different than writing
about the process of recovery in relationship to that topic;
because writing about any topic from one perspective leads me
into new perspectives, new levels of understanding, and related topics;
because I am processing about my own personal recovery process
These long articles - which as I was afraid, this one is
becoming - were not only long for the reasons listed but also because
- as I said in my Metaphysics of Emotions article: "Another reason my articles
get so long is because I want to qualify statements so that they don't
come across as if I were saying what is right and what is wrong." I
had mentioned earlier in that article that: "One of the reasons that
many of my articles get very long (as this one obviously is;-), is because
there are so many levels involved in this experience of being human - and
I catch myself wanting to explain those levels and how they relate to each
other. I try to communicate about multiple perspectives from the metaphysical
and Cosmic down to and including how the process looks and feels on a personal
level. It can get pretty complicated."
It is a style that some people love and others can't stand. (My
partner Susan is one of the people who can't stand it.;-) It was
a style that worked very well for me.
"In the evolution of my writing for the internet (which
I will touch on in the additional page I will be adding) I ended up
finding it invaluable to my recovery, and very valuable to many people
reading my site, to process in writing. The way things evolved,
I ended up demonstrating processing - and role modeling that it is okay
to be human - by writing on an intimate level about my recovery process.
There have always been many people who found it valuable, but also some
who found it irritating. There was one person who referred to
it as babble.
"The processing I did last June (in my Update Newsletters)
and July (here in this journal) got me in touch with one way I was
setting myself up to be unavailable for romantic relationship.
I realized in writing this, that I hadn't ever really summed those realizations
up very well. I tend to get off into explanations of the process
- which is helpful to readers I hope - and kind of lose track of the
issues I am processing about for a while anyway, though I usually end
up back at them. Sorry, about that. One of my phone counseling
clients the other day - a person who has found a wealth of help in reading
my pages and has described the phone counseling experience as making the
words from my book and site kind of leap off the page and come alive for
him - mentioned that there was one of my pages where I just kind of seemed
to be babbling. I am pretty sure he was talking about one of the
Newsletter pages where I was processing - since he doesn't subscribe to
this Journal. Perhaps that is what my processing pages - in this
journal, and in certain Update Newsletters - comes across as.
Hopefully, you all do find this babble useful. ;-)" - - Joy2MeU
Journal: The Path of one Recovering Codependent ~ the dance of one
wounded soul My Unfolding Dance 13 July 2, 2002
As I said above, if you don't like my indulgent style of
processing - if you have ADD or something - then go in peace and blessed
be. I am going to keep doing what works for me - and hopefully
being able to communicate to the people that do get my writing, that
codependency recovery is a holistic, multi-faceted experience.
Recovery is an ongoing dance of uncovering and discovering - and ongoing
dance of working to try to stay in balance enough to find some enjoyment
in this life journey. We need to keep paying attention and trying
to stay conscious of the things we have some control over - at the same
time we are learning to relax, let go of the things we can't control, and
trust the Spirit to guide us where we need to go." - Joy2MeU March 2007 Update
And I think in terms of the web articles (as I came
to call them, as opposed to articles with no links in them) - they have
been very helpful to many people. Those are the articles in which
I am trying to communicate information, as opposed to the personal journal
articles in my Joy2MeU Journal and some of the Newsletters where I am focused
more on my personal process.
Not that I am not trying to communicate information in those processing
pieces, but they are more personally focused and less focused on the topic
/ subject / theme of the informational articles. I include sharing
about my personal recovery in my informational articles also - but not
the kind of personal processing that I do in my journal or Newsletters.
Actually, as I think about it, the Attack on America book turned into
a very personal work that included a good bit of personal processing also.
In any case, I think the two articles that I just posted about the
Law of Attraction and the Metaphysics of Emotions will probably be the
last two of those kind of informational articles - and this Newsletter may
be the last of that type of personal process sharing pieces.
There are several reasons for that - the primary one
being that I don't have the time and energy to focus on writing these
"In order to write I need to get into a focused space during
a time which I won't get interrupted for a period of hours.
In the years when I wrote so much of the material that is on my site
- the years that I was living alone in relative isolation - I would get
up at 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning to write until 10 or 11. Now that
I have a family - and a 2 year old to take care of - the early morning
hours are the only time I have to really write. But I only have
uninterrupted time until about 6:30 or 7 when the baby wakes up, and then
I need to start getting Darien ready to go to the Montessori school he
has been attending. I didn't get any writing done yesterday morning
because the little man has a tooth coming in and had a very rough night
of it - which meant less sleep for Susan and I, and no writing time." -
Joy2MeU March 2007
As much as I love this process of writing while I
am in it - and as valuable as it has been to me - I just don't have the
time and energy for it any more. The reality is I can do whatever
writing I need to do to process through issues on my own - and it would
be pretty short and to the point because I wouldn't have to be worried
about trying to communicate about - to paraphrase an AA phrase - where
I was, what happened, and where I am now. That is a lot of what the
quotes and links that I add are about - providing context for you the reader,
while also reviewing where I have been for me (which was very valuable
As has been the case for me with so many of the tools that have
aided my recovery, they work for awhile and are invaluable in that period
- but eventually that period is past and those particular tools aren't
as valuable and useful to me as they once were. Things keep changing
in recovery - getting different. The process dynamics stay the same,
but the tools and techniques can change and evolve.
The other reasons is one that I referred to above:
"It is probably also my last Update Newsletter in this format." I
started posting these Updates online and sending out a short e-mail announcement
because they got so large. They got too large to be sending out as
Now that we are getting the new sites going, I expect that I will
be using the template available to send out the Update Newsletter - and
it will be fairly short because no one likes to get huge e-mail Newsletters.
I will also be focus on writing shorter articles for the new web
sites in all likelihood. Many of the articles on my site are shorter.
Those are the ones that I originally wrote for one of several recovery
newspaper and later for the Suite101 Directory. Those articles were
supposed to be limited to about 1000 words - although I often went over
As I said in one of the first articles I wrote for one of the recovery
newspapers I wrote for years ago:
"Codependence and recovery are both multi-leveled, multi-dimensional
phenomena. It is very easy for me to write hundreds of pages about any
single aspect of codependence and recovery what is very difficult and painful
is to write a short column. No facet of this topic is linear and one-dimensional,
so there is no simple answer to any one question - rather there are a
multitude of answers to the same question, all of which are True on some
level." - Empowerment
and Victimization - the power of choice
My web articles have served me well in writing about the multi-leveled
phenomena of codependency and recovery. But I think I will be focusing
in the future on shorter articles that are focused on trying to communicate
to people how to set the internal boundaries that I share about in my
inner child healing
and teach people in my telephone counseling
and Intensive workshops
The Intensive workshops have proven to be such a good venue for teaching
that internal boundary formula that I have evolved ways of explaining them
that use language and examples and such that I haven't ever used in writing.
So, I think that is where my writing is going to go in the future.
I don't know how many hours of sleep deprivation it is going to take
to finish this Newsletter, but since it is probably the last one, I am going
to indulge myself and follow it where it takes me. It is possible
that I will be posting this before it is finished - that is, with just
this part and the part about the Landmark Forum included this week, since
I promised it in the two new articles on the 14th - and already added
links to it on those pages and the site index page. That will give
me time to do the personal processing part - which definitely won't be finished
by Friday - and add that later.
4:19 am Friday November 14,
2008: I am actually going to post this now without the part
that I am writing about Landmark, because there is too much yet to write.
The reasons that I am involved with Landmark right now are also tied
into what I am going to be writing about Landmark - so it is probably meant
to go with the personal processing I am going to be doing anyway. (I
will say here for any of you who have had the possibility of Landmark brought
to your attention - that I do think it is a worthwhile experience and can
be helpful in getting a person to take action to create new possibilities
in their lives. It is another avenue for growth that contains some
Truth and can help people align with Metaphysical Law / Law of Attraction
- but as I wrote about in the two most recent articles, it is important to
pick the baby out of the bathwater - take what works for you and leave the
rest. You don't have to swallow it whole.)
So I am going to be posting this today - and sending out the announcements
because I am not sure how long it is going to take me to finish the rest.
I do think that this Newsletter and the two articles I just posted
will be the last of their kind as I mentioned above - with one possible exception
that has come to mind, that being the final article I had promised quite
awhile ago for the series on the 12 steps. Not sure when I will finish
it - it is mostly written already - but I do think I will sometime in the
not too distant future.
One thing I am going to do here is something that I have taken to doing
in recent Updates - that is sharing some excerpts from the messages I have
sent out to my Yahoo mailing list.
Here are some excerpts from some of the
messages I have posted to my e-mailing list on Yahoo. To sign up go
to Joy_2_Me_U on Yahoo.
Sun Jul 20, 2008 7:57 am
"Birthdays - bah humbug"
"There was also some amusement about how much
my life has changed, and how it would not have been possible
for me a couple of years ago to have imagined the changes to come.
I certainly could not in my wildest dreams have imagined the blessed
gift of getting to raise a little boy. Darien is closer to 4 now than
3 - and continues to evolve as the amazing being that he is. I couldn't
have imagined living in a city again, or being in the relationship that
I have with Susan. It is all quite remarkable how the script has unfolded.
I remember thinking as I was walking on the
ranch back in April about something I have been pointing out
to people since the Secret came out - that is, that the Law of
Karma trumps the Law of Attraction, and we cannot create "anything"
we want in life. Which is actually quite a gift, because so often
what we think we want is so much less than we could ever have come
up with it on our own."
"Oh yea, about my birthday. I am not looking
forward to it, and not happy about it. Next Wednesday July 23rd,
I turn 60. I feel like crying when I write that. I can't be 60!!!!!!!!
That is unthinkable!!! How did that happen???!!!!"
Thu Aug 21, 2008 11:12 am "I am
"Well the good news is that I got
the new computer my sister sent me (an iMac with a large screen -
it is amazing how they can fit the computer workings into such a small space
these days;-) - and it is great. The bad news is that transferring my data
from my old computer I screwed up and froze the old computer. I was
eventually able to get someone to take out the hard drive and transfer the
data - but I did lose all my e-mail files and addresses and bookmarks.
It is weird not having the e-mail files that I could always look back on
to see when someone first contacted me, or what they had communicated to
me previously - even to know if a person had contacted me before at all.
Luckily - in one of those perfect Cosmic Coincidences of timing - I had transferred
almost all of my e-mail list to Jeff (the guy who made the CDs and is designing
the new web sites.) He has a new e-mailing program set up for Joy2MeU
that will be sending out a new look Newsletter sometime soon - announcing
the new stuff that will be available. I may have lost a handful
of e-mail addresses, but that is all - so that is good. . . .
. . . . . Well, what I did in the meantime was to have ( as I
say on Metaphysical Law: Giving and Receiving http://Joy2MeU.com/Spiritual_Tithes.htm
) ". . . an awesome, terribly solitary, gloriously amazing adventure
for me. An incredibly painful, transcendently Joyous, intermittently
terrifying, unbelievably fulfilling journey." And during that
journey I wrote and published an incredible book along with several
million words in articles for my website. This was not a plan I
made or could even have imagined. That I would now, just after
my 60th birthday, be in a relationship and raising an amazing little
being named Darien - and still being given the opportunity to practice
the humility to ask for help - was not part of any picture I had of the
future. I am so grateful for Susan and the opportunity to be
involved in the incredibly Joyous experience of raising this incredible
little boy with her. I am not so grateful that I am still in
a position of having to ask for help. But the gifts I have received
over the years from being willing to follow where I am led and let go
of the outcome help me to accept what is, be grateful for all that I have
and have been given, and just keep following where I am led. I am
leading a very Blessed life."
Tue Sep 9, 2008 9:19 am "Interesting weekend"
"I had an interesting weekend - 3 day one actually.
From 9 am to 10 pm on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I was in the Landmark
Forum Education Seminar. They have a method and formula for
dealing with the childhood wounding and programming that is quite
interesting and effective in breaking through the denial of people
who wouldn't even consider going to therapy or looking at
life from a Spiritual Perspective. It is a paradigm that contains
a lot of Truth and Power, although it isn't quite a large enough
paradigm for me personally. There was a lot of good information,
as well as useful tools and perspectives presented however.
I will be processing the experience and seeing what impact it has on
my personal process and in my work in the coming days - and will be
writing about it. I hope to have a new Update Newsletter out this
month that I will share that processing in - as well as news about the
new sites and e-book and all."
Sat Nov 8, 2008 6:10 pm "Two new articles posted"
"PS I have about 10 phone clients who have
had to stop their work for now because of the economic crisis.
Things are pretty desperate at the moment. If anyone out there
has the resources, I could sure use a loan of a couple thousand dollars."
More Will Be Revealed
In regard to the last entry from November 8th, things
were looking pretty desperate at that point. It looked like we were
going to have to take Darien out of the Montessori pre-school he is in (the
thought of that broke my heart because it is the only place he gets to interact
with other kids), give up the second car we have been renting by the month
(the logistics of living with only one car being quite daunting), and possibly
not even be able to keep all the utilities turned on or pay the rest of this
months rent. We even talked about the possibility of moving to Nebraska
and staying on the farm I grew up on for the winter - because my mother
is living in Lincoln with my sister for the winter. Talk about desperation
- but also, talk about being willing to look at all our choices so we don't
buy into a victim perspective. Susan hates the cold even more than
I do - and she has never experienced anything like a Nebraska winter -
so that would be really going to any lengths in our recovery.
The reality is that the economic situation is greatly impacting us.
I have had 10 phone clients who weren't able to continue. Sales
are down - and the new products and web sites have not created much income
as yet. Susan has had 3 part time jobs besides her work in real estate
- but real estate is of course at a stand still right now. So, she
is going to be starting a new full time job in December.
Since last Saturday when I included that PS in my announcement of the
new articles, Susan and I both got into action working the 3rd step - and
enough money has manifested to get us through the immediate crisis in the
coming days - that is pay the rest of the rent and the utility bills that
are due immediately, and keep the car and Darien in school for another week
or so. What is going to happen when it comes time to pay next months
rent is in the More Will Be Revealed realm right now - but at the moment
we can take care of what is immediately in front of us.
Working the Third Step
"When I was in treatment getting sober I was in a city
I hadn't lived in for 20 years. I had no car and was going
to be living with my brother who lived on the outskirts of the city
when I got out of treatment. I was scared that I wasn't going
to be able to make it to meetings and went in to talk to my counselor
about it. He said, "You ask for rides." "Oh no," I said.
"You don't understand I never ask anybody for anything." "Well,"
he said, "that is what working the third step is all about." "Asking
for rides?!?!" I said incredulously.
I thought he was crazy. How can asking for a ride be working
the third step?
Well, it is. I needed to learn to ask not only a God I
didn't trust for help - but also to ask other people to help me.
That was horrible for me. It seemed like such a huge risk.
If I asked people for help that would give them a chance to reject
me - and I had had enough rejection in my life, thank you very much!
There was a story that I heard around that time. It was
about 2 guys who were arguing about rather there was a God or not.
The first one said, "Of course, there is a God.
How can you say there is no God."
The point: God works through people.
We all have had Eskimos in our lives, angels disguised as people.
We are not alone in this process - we can't do it alone.
The second said, "I not only can say it - I can prove it."
"You can prove it?"
"Yes. Years ago I was in a small plane crash in
the wilds of Alaska. I was the only survivor and I had a broken
leg. There was nothing around for hundreds of miles, so it
was only a question of rather I would freeze to death before something
ate me. I prayed to God and said 'If there is a God please save
me.' And God didn't do anything."
"What do you mean," the first man exclaimed. "You're
here and alive aren't you."
"Oh, well some Eskimo came along and saved me. God didn't
So, I learned to ask for rides. What I know now is that
the Universe always responds - just not very often in the way, or
at the time I think it is necessary. I need to ask for help and
then let go of rather the person I am asking can in fact help me.
I need to take the risk and let go of the outcome. What I
need will come from someplace. There is a verse in the bible that
Ask and ye shall
ASK. By asking - either God or another
person - I am setting energy in motion in the Universe.
Once the energy is in motion it comes back to me at some time from
some place. I have to put it out before it will come back.
What I sow I reap. The Universes works on the principle of cause
and effect. It is very important for me to get proactive in my
own life by taking the risk of asking for help - and it is much easier
when I can let go of my picture of how, and when, that help is going to manifest." - The Miracle of The Twelve Step Recovery
Process: 1, 2, 3, and
a 1, 2, 3 - The first three steps
and ye shall find.
and the door shall be opened.
I didn't use the term Law of Attraction in that quote, but that is what
I was talking about. Being willing to put out to the Universe what
I want and need - ask the Universe and other people for help - and let go
of the outcome. Since I have been the Eskimo for so many people by
making my writing available, I guess the Universe thinks it is still important
to let people send energy back my way by giving them the opportunity to be
an Eskimo for me.
Jeff is organizing a teleconference for next Thursday for people who have
sent in questions when downloading the new e-book version
The Dance of Wounded Souls
. Many of these people are ones from
Jeff's mailing list - people who have never heard of codependence or thought
it had any application in their lives. So, perhaps that will spark
some more income coming in. I will include the information about
the teleconference in the announcement e-mail I send out, in case any of
you would like to listen in as I answer some of the questions.
Hopefully there will be a lot of sales this weekend so we don't start next
week with such a bleak outlook. If there is anyone out there who can
make us a loan, or send in a Donations
/ Love Offering
, that would
be great. Part of what I shared in the yahoo message list "Bah Humbug'
message was this: "I have actually had some moments of anger at my Higher
Power lately, and a bit of depression at times, about coming up on 60 and
still having to scramble so hard just to pay the rent and keep the utilities
connected. It feels so unfair that after so many years of following where
I am led and doing my best to carry out my mission as a messenger of Truth,
that life down here in body would still be so difficult - that a bit more
abundance hasn't manifested. It is possible that I may need to ask the people
on my mailing list for help in keeping the book in print again - something
I really don't want to have to do. . . . The Truth is though, that the
Abundance I have in my life is great (just isn't financial.;-)"
I am sure that many of you are being affected by the economic situation
also, I just want to remind you that there is more to be grateful for than
there is to be afraid of - though it doesn't seem like it or feel like
it at times like this. My article about Gratitude was written as a
Thanksgiving article - so is appropriate to include a link to here, not
only because of the time of year but also because of the place we are in
time and space right now in the unfolding of the Divine Plan. Gratitude - a Vital Tool in the Recovery
We are Loved even if it doesn't feel like it at times. I will
include a link here, and announce it on my New Page when I finish the Newsletter
to go with this Update. In the meantime,
Joy, Love, and Abundance to You
Robert - 11/14/08
I never did get a Newsletter written to go with this Update (one of these
days maybe) - so next Update is April 2009 Update Newsletter
The Law of Attraction - Misunderstood & Misinterpreted
and The Metaphysics of
Emotions - emotional energy is real
Codependency Recovery: Wounded
Souls Dancing in the Light Book 2: A Dysfunctional
Relationship with Life, Attack on America:
A Spiritual Healing Perspective & Call for Higher
Consciousness, The True Nature of Love
series of articles, and the article My Spiritual
Belief System and the New Millennium can be found
in Dancing in Light
a subscription are of the Joy2MeU web site. Quotes from the
Dance of Wounded Souls Trilogy and the journal of my
personal recovery can be found in another subscription area The Joy2MeU Journal