"This dance of Codependence is a dance of dysfunctional relationships - of relationships that do not work to meet our needs. That does not mean just romantic relationships, or family relationships, or even human relationships in general. The fact that dysfunction exists in our romantic, family, and human relationships is a symptom of the dysfunction that exists in our relationship with life - with being human. It is a symptom of the dysfunction which exists in our relationships with ourselves as human beings."
(Quotations in this color are from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney)
"Codependency is about having a dysfunctional relationship with self! With our own bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits. With our own gender and sexuality. With being human. Because we have dysfunctional relationships internally, we have dysfunctional relationships externally.
Codependency is an emotional and behavioral defense system which our egos adapted in early childhood to help us survive. We were raised in shame based, emotionally dishonest, Spiritually hostile environments by parents who were wounded in their childhoods by patriarchal, shame based civilization that treated children and women as property. We formed our core relationship with self in early childhood - and built our relationship with self, life, and other humans based on that foundation. Programmed to feel shame about being imperfect humans, and trained to be emotionally dishonest, we were set up to live life reacting to the emotional trauma and dysfunctional intellectual programming of childhood. Because we feel shame about being human, we have a relationship with life that does not work to bring us Joy or inner peace.
We do not have the power to change others - we do have the power to change our relationship with self by healing our codependency / wounded souls. We can access the capacity to accept, embrace, forgive, have compassion for, and set boundaries with, all parts of self. Learning to Love our self will allow us to gain the capacity to Love others in a healthy way. Changing our relationship with life can transform life into an exciting adventure." ~ Robert Burney"The point that I am making is that our understanding of Codependence has evolved to realizing that this is not just about some dysfunctional families, our very role models, our prototypes, are dysfunctional. Our traditional cultural concepts of what a man is, of what a woman is, are twisted, distorted, almost comically bloated stereotypes of what masculine and feminine really are."
"In order to start be-ing in the moment in a healthy, age-appropriate way it is necessary to heal our "inner child." The inner child we need to heal is actually our "inner children" who have been running our lives because we have been unconsciously reacting to life out of the emotional wounds and attitudes, the old tapes, of our childhoods."
The Web Site of Spiritual
Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book
May 20th, 2013: The latest additions and announcements about Robert's web sites and appearances are on the New & News Page
"It is necessary to own and honor the child who we were in order to Love the person we are. And the only way to do that is to own that child's experiences, honor that child's feelings, and release the emotional grief energy that we are still carrying around."
"Codependence is a very vicious and powerful form of Delayed Stress Syndrome. The trauma of feeling like we were not safe in our own homes makes it very difficult to feel like we are safe anywhere. Feeling like we were not lovable to our own parents makes it very difficult to believe that anyone can Love us."
Spiritual Teacher and Codependency Therapist Robert Burney, whose work has been compared to John Bradshaw's "except much more spiritual" and described as "taking inner child healing to a new level," has developed a unique approach to emotional healing that is the next level of recovery from codependency so many people have been seeking. He has pioneered an inner child healing paradigm that offers a powerful, life changing formula for integrating Love, Spiritual Truth, and intellectual knowledge of healthy behavior into one's emotional experience of life - a blueprint for individuals to transform their core relationship with self and life.
Robert, whose process is firmly grounded on twelve step recovery principles and emotional energy release / grief process therapy, specializes in teaching individuals how to become empowered to have internal boundaries so they can learn to relax and enjoy life in the moment while healing. It is the unique approach and application of the concept of internal boundaries, coupled with a Loving Spiritual belief system, that make the work so innovative and effective.
His personal belief is that we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience that is unfolding perfectly from a Cosmic perspective - with no accidents, coincidences, or mistakes. He considers Spirituality to be a word that describes one's relationship with life - and anyone, regardless of religious belief or lack of it (who is not completely closed minded), can apply the approach he shares on this web site and in his book, to help them transform their experience of life into an easier, more Loving and enjoyable journey.
In his book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "A Cosmic Perspective on Codependence and the Human Condition" he postulates that Codependence (i.e. outer or external dependence) is The Human Condition - and that we have now entered a new Age of Healing and Joy in which it is possible to heal the planet through healing our relationships with self. He combines Twelve Step Recovery Principles, Metaphysical Truth, and Native American Spirituality with quantum physics and molecular biology in presenting his belief that we are all connected, we are all extensions of the Divine, and that ultimately Love is our True essence.
"We are transcendent Spiritual Beings who are part of the ONENESS that is the God-Force. We always have been and always will be. We are perfect in our Spiritual Essence. We are perfectly where we are supposed to be on our Spiritual Path. And from a human perspective we will never be able to do "human" perfectly - which is perfect.
We have been trying to do human perfect according to a false belief system in order to get Spiritual. It does not work. It's dysfunctional."
Telephone Counseling with Robert - an Empowering & Life Changing experience
|"I just read your
thank you for
writing it. I have been a spiritual
teacher since childhood,
however, your book let me organize
my thoughts a new way, a new perspective.
I now have a much deeper understanding
and am still learning from it. Dance,
is one of the truly transformational works
of our time."
"When I found your book, I found myself."
"I am a 52 year old psychotherapist and have struggled with codependency all my life. Up until tonight I have been disappointed in the literature and treatment of codependency. Your work is brilliant! I can't find words to express my appreciation with the depth I am feeling."
"I read thru much of your website and I am very inspired by it. I have been feeling that something is missing from the 12-step CoDA meetings and now I know it is true.""Your work is brilliant and from what I've read on your website I am just utterly blown away by this material. It's like finally someone has put this mess of codependance into perspective so it can be healed!"
"Your writing is more insightful and instructive for change than Bradshaw and Melody Beattie of codependence no more. Pia Melody's pretty good but you're more broad thinking in concepts and more compassionate too."
"I truly believe that I have made more progress on a personal
level in the few weeks I have had Robert's book and
tape than in the preceding eight plus years when I first
found out what codependency was. THANK YOU"
"I find it very exciting that you have brought the whole definition of codependence to this spiritual level, where I can much more relate to it's truth."
"Your message has forever changed my path in this lifetime. Thank you so much for sharing your perceptions and experiences through your book, and your website. You are a guide and a healer, I will be forever grateful for having connected and crossed paths with you and your work.""Robert, you are a metaphysical Stephen Hawking. Thank you."
Joy 2 Me & U
Special Offers for phone counseling, workshop, subscriptions, MP3 downloads, Wounded Soul Trilogy, multiple copies of book.
Subscription areas of site:
Joy2MeU Journal - Robert's recovery journey and personal journal
Dancing in Light with 3 online books +
July 23rd, 2011: Announcing the publication of
Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light
Book 1: Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing (aka A Formula for Spiritual Integration and Emotional Balance)
Also available eBook format:
Amazon Kindle Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light
and Barnes & Noble Nook
Romantic Relationships ~
The Greatest Arena for Spiritual & Emotional Growth
Codependent Dysfunctional Relationship Dynamics & Healthy Relationship Behavior
Also available as two e-Books in
Amazon Kindle format eBook 1 & eBook2
and in Barnes & Noble Nook format eBook 1 & eBook 2
"Codependence deals with the core issues of the human dilemma. Codependence has grown out of the cause from which all symptoms arise. That cause is Spiritual dis-ease: not being at ease, at one with Spiritual Self.""We are not sinful, shameful human creatures who have to somehow earn Spirituality. We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience."
"The approach that I discovered in my personal recovery - and developed in my work with others - is the missing integration formula that people in recovery, on a healing / spiritual path, have been seeking for years. We can have lots of intellectual knowledge of what constitutes healthy behavior, and multiple spiritual experiences, but until we can integrate knowing / Knowing into our emotional relationship with self and life it is not possible to fundamentally change our behavior patterns - especially, and most importantly, our behavior patterns in intimate relationships.
There are many teachers, books, etc., these days that will tell you that the goal is to learn to Love your self - but no one really tells you how to do that. That is what the approach to inner healing - that I have been gifted with developing - facilitates."
5/20/13 A special limited time (until 6/14) combination offer: Intensive Training Day in San Diego June 30th - plus Robert's first two books - a copy of Joyously inspirational Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls and the process level Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 1 Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing (normally 165 + 47.95): $179.95
5/20/13 A special limited time (until 7/1) combination offer: Intensive Training Day in San Diego August 18th - plus Robert's first two books - a copy of Joyously inspirational book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls and the process level Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 1 Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing (normally 150 + 47.95): $164.95
The Site index page contains links to over 300 pages - over 250 of them content pages free to anyone with internet.
Below are site index pages for different topic areas of the Joy2MeU.com site.
Codependence Pages Index Codependence / codependency = outer / external dependence = The Human Condition 30 Pages on Codependence / Codependency.
Inner Child Healing Pages index An innovative new level of Inner Child Healing for achieving Spiritual integration & emotional balance. 35 pages that focus on the Process / emotional healing / integration / inner child Work.
Spiritual Belief System Pages index We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience - this is the polar opposite of the beliefs which underlie Civilization - it changes the whole game. 28 Pages on Robert's Spiritual Paradigm.
Alcoholism Pages Index Bill Wilson would have run to an ACA or CoDA meeting where he could have found the roots of the depression which tormented him. 12 Pages on disease of alcoholism & 12 steps.
Metaphysical Pages Index A New Age has dawned in human consciousness. 17 Pages on Metaphysical aspects of belief system.
Romantic Relationships Pages index It is so important to realize how we were set up to feel like failures in Romantic Relationships - to really get it on a gut level, so that we can forgive ourselves. 40 Pages focused on Romantic Relationships.
Miscellaneous Topics Pages index I wrote a monthly column/article - first for a local paper, then for a Recovery paper in Texas, then on the internet - for about 10 years. 30 pages - Miscellaneous articles and columns.
Information Pages index This is an index page of informational pages (as opposed to content - except for the ones that do have content, like the Update Newsletters and the preview issue of Joy2MeU Journal) 40 Informational pages + 57 Update pages
New web sites offering some of the material on this site in more up to date format:
Robert Burney Live.com
If you would like to be on my e-mail list please drop me
a line. I send out short e-mail announcements about newly posted
Update Newsletters once or twice a year - and also send out special
announcements once in awhile.
We keep a mailing list only for the purpose of sending out announcements with news of Joy2MeU & Robert Burney. Your name and e-mail address is never traded, sold or used in any way whatsoever except for that purpose.~ Robert Burney
This Joy2MeU Web Site @ http://Joy2MeU.com -
original Joy to You & Me Web Site @ http://www.silcom.com/~joy2meu
- Launched 2-28-98
"I freely share
so much information on my site because . . . I believe it is my
Karmic Mission in this lifetime. I want to
share the Joyous message and the precious information
that I have discovered - and it is what I need to do for
my Recovery and Spiritual Path. It is not
such a great strategy when it comes to finances however.;-)
So Donations to the Cause / Love Offerings
/ Spiritual Tithes are always appreciated if
you feel my sharing has helped you in your Healing / Recovery
process and on your Spiritual Path. If my writing
has helped you remember Truth that brings you some Joy
and inner peace, and your Spirit moves you to send some
Love back my way . . . . - Metaphysical
Law: Giving and Receiving - Donations
to the Cause / Love Offerings / Spiritual
"Dear Robert, Your work has divinely touched and
spiritually inspired me......I
came to your site in my
desperate hour and found so many
truths, I couldn't hide anymore.
I made the choice, to face the fear, look
inside through the darkness and pain,
to feel who I was and why. . . . You have
given me much healing through your
generous gifts that I would like to share with
you my love, appreciation and gratitude.
I am sending a donation ___. Thank you so
very much. Blessings and Abundance Always"
(Donations to the cause / Spiritual Tithes are always appreciated: Working the Third Step ~ ASKing for help)